Afghani man expelled from terrorist training camp for merely horrifying
[Kabul]Yesterday Abdul Abdullah Allah was rejected from a secret al-qaida training facility outside the city when his trainers ascertained that he was failing to strike fear into the hearts of infidels.
"It's like he just doesn't get it", said cell sergeant Murphy. "We can only train a person to do so much. You're either terrifying or you're not, and Abdul's just too nice a guy or something. Killing and whatnot didn't seem that bad when he did it. It looked, well, contrived, frankly."
Classmates reported similar behavior. Said one, "When we were all shouting and burning the American flag, he let me step in front of him to where the shouting was loudest and best. The flames of hatred do not seem to burn in his bosom." Said another, "I'm not accusing him of sympathizing with the Zionists, but he just doesn't look like he cares all that much abouty destroying western civilization. Maybe he's gay or something."
Abdul, when reached for comment, was fishing. "I'd like to apologize for the miscommunication", he said. "They just didn't understand that my hatred of the Jews is a private matter. I don't go around hating Jews so my instructors can see me doing it, you know." He then caught a walleye and eyed it suspiciously. "I think this walleye is a Jew." he said. With a flick of his wrist, a knife apeared out of nowhere and before I knew what was happening the fish was sliced in two. Turning to me, he then smiled and said, "Just kidding."
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