Don't you just hate Rick Deez [sic]?
Penelope Cosgrove,
Junebug GA
Good question, Penelope.
This is Rick Dees.
Rick Dees is the host of a weekly top 40 countdown. The bio page on his website begins: " Talented comedic performer Rick Dees has enough enthusiasm and energy to wake a slumbering city...which is exactly what he does every weekday morning on his popular Los Angeles radio program. He has made an indelible mark in the world of radio with this captivating, wacky style of comedy which is as many-faceted as the assortment of characters he creates."
Does this leave me thirsting for more Dees goodness? Not so much. You already know what's coming on this one, but first...
A long time ago, I decided I had something against Sammy Hagar. I didn't know what it was, but it mattered and I could never forget it. Years passed. More. And More. And then, when it was buried far, far down, long since I'd heard his last wail fade, I found this. It's a video of the red rocker making a margarita. Just watch it. I dare you. Oh, did you know that Sammy Hagar is called the red rocker? The video confirms why I was right about Sammy, I don't want to ruin it for you, but I'll say it's the sentence about juicy limes. Anyway, I'm giving myself the same credit for intuition now with Dees as I did way back when, probably because I still can't find a way to adequately articulate what it is that makes me want to climb the wall.
I know, I'm just bitter, derisive? I haven't cashed in and so I want to drag the world down with me into a pit of despair and disappointment? No matter what the answers to these questions are, Rick Dees sells his energy and enthusiasm in L.A., pumps his vigor into the drive-time passenger cabins of brain-dead automatons, and makes a tidy sum doing it, so you can't fault him. I personally could never respect someone with so little respect for themselves that they would discuss at ANY length what's topping the charts week after tedious week. It's more likely that he is pretty high on himself, considers himself clever and opinionated. It just so happens that his tastes change every time the market moves. He gets invited to parties he doesn't know are dull. He has the biggest imagination of anyone he knows, and life for the Dees is a good life. Just look who he's had on his show lately! It's a list from celebrity hell: Clay Aiken(pictures of that interview are available at Rick Dees's website!!), Dick fucking Clark, John Mayer (whose fifteen minutes ended five or six hundred thousand minutes ago), Michael Jackson, Robert Englund, P. Diddy, and the second most recognizable chicken salesman in the world, Jason Alexander. Whee!
Depending on where you're from, a person that does this for a living is either a lucky man, or not a man at all. But here's why I'm leaning toward lucky for the Rickster, another quote from his "about Rick" page: "He wrote and recorded "Disco Duck," which became an unexpected runaway hit, hitting #1 and selling more than four million copies." Four million copies sold means the boy is doin' something right. It's the listeners that are fucked up! Penelope, if I believed in heaven, it would have to be a place where those fools wouldn't drive market forces, making Rick Dees "for the past eleven years... Billboard Magazine's "Number One Radio Personality in America"". Don't I hate Rick Dees? Yes. I loathe and despise him, but only for what he brought out in the unimaginative. I'd have been happier dreaming that people talked to each other in the morning, that they tried to figure out the day and decide what values they're going to represent, than knowing that data about the choices of the buying public are being processed, packaged, and regurgitated by Rick Dees for their undeveloped, lifeless brains to sop up like so much dumpster juice. And they LIKE it.
So I guess my final comment is it's not Rick's fault, but we should still kill him anyway.
Thanks,
Dale Shipley
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