Double Flee A

Dear Dale,

I was in a bar and they were playing "courtesy of the red white and blue" by Toby America Keith (best song ever), and then the song ended. I thought to myself, why would they ever stop playing that song? Why not play it over and over and over, if you really love America? Also, my friend is a month older than me, so he claims to be more American than I am, which makes me mad, because my family has lived in America longer than his family. That makes me more American, right? And finally, do you think it's enough to capitalize America? Shouldn't we write it in all capitals if we really love AMERICA? See what I mean?

Thanks,
Bob Americamerica Merica.

Bob,

You raise some important questions. First of all, if they follow "courtesy of the red, white and blue" with another patriotic song such as "born in the U.S.A.", it might cushion the blow, but eventually, they will have to switch songs. Call your local country station and suggest this strategy to them. Did you know that a lot of musicians are communists that don't shop at Wal-Mart? Make sure you know the politics of people before you enjoy their music. They might be trying to brainwash you. As per your second question, while your friend has had the honor and privilege of living in America longer than you, you are the more American. You can stick your American chest out filled with American pride. And finally for the capitalization. I'm all for it.

AMERICAlly yours,
Dale AMERICA Shipley.

posted by dale @ 3:24 PM