Double Flee A

Hey Dale,

I'm a big fan of your blog. Me an my buddys read it all the time here in Pelican Bay. But today is not one of the times when I can just goof off and joke around cause I have a problem. See, it's like this. When I get out I will be around women again. And I like them, sure, but only if it's for fucken and hitten. So I want to know how to be around women so they dont get pissed off all the time.

Thanks,
Prison Bob
(the coolest)
p.s. I made up that part about me bein the coolest. You're the coolest. Rock on.


Prison Bob,

Women are good for many things, but there are many other facets to their existence that you must take into account. They are primarily engaged with the gestation and production of new man-beasts, so they aren't thinking about sex all the time the way we are. They're thinking about lots of other things like snagging alpha males like you and me, flowers, Pottery Barn, and special foods from far away. Women have lots of sensitive nineties guys to choose from, so caveman beatdowns ain't going to go over too smooth. Also, most women these days have telephones that they aren't afraid to use to call the police in the event they are being physically attacked, which is what they see as happening when you are hitten. So I recommend you hook up with nothing but couples when you get out of the joint, and hang out with them and watch the way they deal with each other. When they make each other mad, they don't hit each other. Learn from this. As far as not making women mad all the time, you're on your own. I don't think it can be helped. Good luck, dude!

Your bro,
Dale Shipley

posted by dale @ 7:40 PM