Double Flee A

It's spring break, and there are girls going wild all over the place, right now! Cancun is full of girls going wild. Panama city is, too. Lake Havasu, Lake Winnepesaukah, Lake Calhoun, shit, all the places where girls go to go wild are chock full of wild-going girls. I shudder to think of all the girls and wildness! It's so wonderful!

The wild girls are all so happy and surprised that they're young, and drunk, and girls, and wild!

But sadly, it's not all sunshine for the girls gone wild.

There are many regrets being created at this very moment. If only someone could have warned them, someone, anyone let them know that they're not that special, not that unique and amazing and interesting! That yes, other girls have been going wild for thousands of years, that they're not the very first people ever to embrace liquor and wildness! If I can help just one girl from going wild and having hot drunken sex with a stranger, my mission will be accomplished. Save yourselves, young, wild girls! Don't tip that forty-ounce malt liquor back and lift your shirt! Please, for the love of Pete, don't say "woo!" You're better than that!

Well, as obviously facetious as that was, there are those that will not understand, so now I have to come back to the point that the "party-ing" spring break girls are not in fact better than that. Hell, get ripped and screw away! Your stupid fucking degree isn't going to get you a job, so have a great time! Make a total ass of yourself because you're just going to die anyway and it won't matter a pair of dingo's kidneys what you do, because you are completely and utterly inconsequential and meaningless. Not even the lord cares, because there is no lord to care. You are alone and you are worthless. Have a drink. Be happy. Here, let me reach over and hand it to you. Would you like the label facing you or facing away? That's right. Be drunk, girl. Be wild. Enjoy yourself. There will be time for reflection, but that time is not now. Now is the time for waste and excess.

Yee-haw! Woo! Yeah, baby! Chug! Chug! Chug! Woo!

There is virtue in sociopathy.

posted by dale @ 10:30 AM