by Bob Odenkirk:
A GAY GUY DOES A WEBSITE MAKEOVER
By a Gay Guy
First of all, I don’t know where to begin. This website homepage is a disaster on par with the time Led Zeppelin crashed into the World Trade Centers! The first time I saw this website I puked and cried so much that I puked out my tear ducts and cried out my puke trigger mechanism, whatever that’s called! I mean, look at this website - it’s a horrid cesspool that makes the mass graves of Serbia look as welcoming as a sandy beach of St. Tropez. I mean, puh-leeze people, can somebody staunch the bleeding already? I mean the bleeding from my eyes from having them raped with razor blades by this nasty-ass skank-junkie-bitch of a website layout! It’s like staring into hell while leeches suck out your innards and wolverines gnaw your honey-slathered penis and balls! I don’t think I’m being a hilariously over-sensitive gay caricature here! But the horror of looking at this website dwarfs all horrors this world has witnessed. Pee-yew! It stinks like the feces that fill the diapers of child workers at their looms in India stitching cloth for me to be catty about until their fingers bleed! Ugh! Gag me with a noodle. Did Hitler design this thing with his friend Klaus Barbi and Pol Pot tossing in his two cents while Uday and Qusay Hussein also help and someone even more evil is also there “helping”? Yucko! I would rather watch my pets be raped with a rape-stick until they are dead than look at this website design one more seccy! I would rather have a boot shoved down my throat and boiling oil poured on my testes and do poppers while I get gang-banged while blindfolded than even look at this website homepage again. I mean, I really would rather have that happen. In fact, instead of trying to fix this website, an impossible task akin to building a time machine and trying to talk Stalin out of his purges, I am going to go do the boot/oil/poppers/gang-bang thing. Seeya!
The Gay Guy is available to have his own show on TV. Come on, TV, get to it!
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