Double Flee A

In Tennessee, my home state, there are, oh, maybe one or two people who don't appreciate our dark-skinned brethren, nor their contributions to American culture. I agree that we'd have been better off without the Ying Yang twins and certain other musical travesties, but that's as far as I'm prepared to go. In Tennessee there is a famous annual joke that accompanies the holiday commemorating the birth of Martin Luther King, Jr., which goes something like this:
"if they killed four more ni**ers, we'd be able to take off all week."
Well, today marks the day Jesus Christ rose from the grave. Why they couldn't have killed him a couple more times and had him come back twice so we could have some more time off work is not a joke I've ever heard told. In this case, killing somebody isn't all that funny, I guess, even though Jesus was actually immune to death, unlike Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr., who it can be assumed, actually cared that he not be killed.

I can't buy any groceries today, which I had planned to, because it's Easter. No supermarket is open. If they had killed Jesus a couple more times, I'd f*cking starve to death. The way it is, I'm giving thanks that I live in a country where we celebrate the failure of executions to kill people by eating canned soup, because it's important that all the goods in the supermarket get older and older without anybody being able to buy them.

Thanks, Jesus. Since we're having a talk, I've got to say believe me, I don't blame you for what your "followers" do in your name. You were a great guy. If you actually did defy death and can make miracles happen, if you can somehow make some food materialize in my refrigerator I'd appreciate it. I'll take a pound of salmon, some brussels sprouts, half a gallon of orange juice, a loaf of that bread I like (come on, you know the one -wink-), and some kale. I've been wondering what kale is, and now's the perfect time to find out, for free! Take care, pal.

posted by dale @ 5:27 PM