Double Flee A

For anyone who has ever read this page, it should come as no surprise that I don't subscribe to the belief that there will be a judgment day after I die.

I also don't believe that in the moments between living and dying, my life will flash before my eyes.

Imagine if your life did. Your whole life. Even that time you sat there and watched some stupid movie you knew you were going to totally hate, because your girlfriend or friend or wife wanted to. The whole movie would have to pass before your eyes if your whole life flashed by, and I just can't imagine that in the space of time it takes for a life to pass away, you'd see Titanic, a movie I proudly claim never to have seen despite the hype.

On the positive side of media-life-flashing-dying, you'd see that great joke on Airplane about "So unger was over over and Over was under Dunn". That would be a nice joke to die to.

If parts of my life somehow do flash before my eyes, I have several moments I'd like to request in advance. Like when I said the perfect thing to a girl I knew as I saw her for the last time, on which occasion 'the thing I'd usually have liked to have said looking back on it three weeks later' came out immediately as if said by someone else, someone truly amazing for their tact and style. I'd like to replay the times I told people what I really thought of them. I'd like to replay a couple of naps, the really good ones that I awoke from really alert. I'd like to see the time I threw a rock at a really hard target (a bird on a wire from far away) and hit it, and everybody saw it. Those are good things.

What I'll probably end up with are the times I spent waiting in line without anything to read, the times I sucked at the straw with nothing left in the glass and it made that gurgling sound just to see if I could annoy anyone, which it didn't, or the time I saw Trisha Yearwood play "she's in love with the boy" at the Christian County fair in West Kentucky.

posted by dale @ 8:19 PM