Double Flee A

I got so mad about my lack of computer privileges at my job, that I just sent this email to two of my managers:

Hi guys!

I know sometimes you've just got to lock things down to be safe, like the narc cart in the pharmacy, but there's a little situation that I hope I can appeal to your good natures to have changed.

The thing is, and I know this is familiar territory for us, when I go to do station checks, my hands are full of narcotics all day long, and about half the time there are discrepancies. Then guess what I have to do? Go get a nurse, and incur the third degree about why they're helping me document it. Yes, that's right, due to my not having independent discrepancy documentation privileges, I have to interrupt both my work and the nurses', and be suspected of theft, all in the normal course of my job! Not too super!

It should be obvious where we're headed. And I have to mention that I'm only going through this effort to clearly convey the ramifications of the seeming no-brainer not to give me any privileges, because I suspect your initial decision is "no".

This situation for me is disheartening and for you a waste of payroll, but it's easily fixable. Here's what we do: give me the privileges I have a perfect record of NOT ABUSING!

This is the part that kills me. I could very easily show up in your office with a hefty bag full of drugs just to show you that, from a security standpoint, it doesn't matter a pair of dingo's kidneys whether I have independent discrepancy documentation privileges or not, so I might as well have them, but that purely playful gesture because of its illegality would no doubt make me even more suspect than I already am, and all as a result of my vigorous protests that I can be trusted with the stupid drugs. Ironic, no?

Anyway, thanks for considering my modest proposal, and I'll look forward to the day when I can just count the drugs like I used to.

Thanks and have a great day,
Dale

posted by dale @ 2:49 PM