Double Flee A

In Wal-Martville, Tennessee, nobody reads, so there are a grillion books for a nickel apiece. I just talked to my brother Joe. He got a copy of Macbeth at a discount bookstore there for a quarter because it was all written in. No, not by a leading Macbeth scholar or anything, by someone named Kathy. She liked to write in the margins of Doug's copy of Macbeth. Later, the school (or somebody) had to cross out all the writing with a marker, but you can still read it if you hold it in the glare.

It says, many times, Doug loves Kathy. It says Doug wants to fuck Kathy. It says all sorts of things like that, all over the place. Kathy liked to torment Doug. That's better than just any old copy if you ask me. A reassuring lack of pretense is just a glance away, built in. To hell with Thane of Cowdor, see how Kathy flirts! It's inspirational!

We also decided that if I want to get serious about being a player in the rap game, I need to attend P-diddy boot camp. That came from a show called "make the band 2" or something. From what I remember this show was about celebrities helping people get what it takes to become a star. P. Diddy split and made his own version of the show. I guess he wanted to make a band that was serious about keeping it real, being a thug from the streets or whatever it takes to be a rapper. Here I was thinking it meant saying things that rhyme with each other. What a moron I am.

While using the traditional methods of motivating warriors (pushups, yelling in your face, other miscellaneous obnoxious homoerotica, etc.), P-diddy's egomania ran wild, and the cameras were rolling. I think the decision to have a boot camp was, for Mister Diddy, sort of like marrying Jennifer Lopez, the Cleopatra of our time. J-Lo, you temptress! Who is immune from your feminine wiles? Don't get all down on P. Diddy about their marriage, either. Who among us hasn't said later about a disaster "It seemed like a good idea at the time!" Well, let ye be the one that first casts a stone at P. Diddy boot camp!

posted by dale @ 11:21 PM