Double Flee A

The hollywood video right by my house just got a bunch of movies. According to their manager, they now have more movies than anyone else in the midwest. I went in there tonight to see, and it's truly frightening.

First you're just walking along gawking at these monstrous shelf-plexes and getting quite disoriented, and then it dawns on you that you can hear this crazy operatic music. Next thing you know it's all scary, you start running, dodging this way and that, starting to hyperventilate. The voices on the speaker system are howling; a microphone somewhere is apparently witnessing an orgy of pain. Flushed, you sweat. At the end of the aisle the fear grips you tighter, you try to run but your body won't respond. Shaking on the floor, curled in a ball, you literally shit yourself and then you're trying to hop out of your soiled pants but your foot gets caught. You fall over and there you are, lying in the floor with shit all over you, your head bleeding from where it struck the corner of some wooden shelving. When you come to, you're not worried about your embarrassing stink-tacular meltdown, but that jesus christ, this is really a hell of a lot of movies.

posted by dale @ 11:41 PM