I was in the car, channel-surfung the radio (no station is as good as all the rest of the stations combined) when I heard the Crook and Chase country coundown kick off. The top 40 country sings in the land were about to come a-barrelin' across the airwaves. I was excited. I hadn't got to hear one of these since before any of them were about loving the USA. Can you even imagine that?
Anyway, the first song, that is, the fortieth most popular one, was "the bumper of my SUV" by one Chely Wright. Here's the webpage for that, where you can even listen to a partial mp3 of this masterpiece of modern musicianship. And there's something about a logo with an american flag on it that just makes you feel so unpatriotic for not buying it. Somewhere every day, five or six guys wake up and realize they kind of overdid it with the patriotic decoration theme, and sheepishly put some flags in the closet.
The album cover:
Here are the words, which I think are hilarious:
I've got a bright red sticker on the back of my car
Says United States Marines
And yesterday a lady in a minivan held up a middle finger at me
Does she think she knows what I stand for
Or the things that I believe
Just by looking at a sticker for the US Marines
On The Bumper Of My SUV
See, my brother Chris, he's been in for more than 14 years now
Our dad was in the Navy during Vietnam
Did his duty then he got out
And my grandpa earned his purple heart
On the beach of Normandy
That's why I've got a sticker for the US Marines
On The Bumper Of SUV
But that doesn't mean that I want war
I'm not Republican or Democrat
But I've gone all around this crazy world
Just to try and better understand
Yes I do have questions
I get to ask them because I'm free
That's why I've got a sticker for the US Marines
On the Bumper Of My SUV
Cause I've been to Hiroshima
And I've been to the DMZ
I've walked on the sand in Baghdad
Still don't have all of the answers I need
But I guess I wanna know where she's been
Before she judges and gestures to me
Cause she don't like my sticker
For the US Marines
On the bumper of my SUV
So I hope that lady in her mini-van
Turns on her radio and hears this from me
As she picks up her kids from their private school
And drives home safely on our city streets
Or to the building where her church group meets
Yeah, that's why I've got a sticker for the US Marines
On the bumper of my SUV
'Cause, you know, it's the anti-war crowd that doesn't understand nuance. It's the anti-war crowd that just says screw off, my way is right, and if you don't think so, you're a traitor.
Oh, and liberals are not only telling everyone to be blindly obedient to the anti-war message, they send their kids to private schools because they're rich. I get the feeling her obnoxious implied message comes across loud and clear when she suggests that minivans suck, but it's nowhere near the overt message, which is simply, I love america more than liberals.
Chely played at the USO for some troops, which was nice to do. But do you think troops ever get tired of the same stuff over and over? Like they might want to hear some good, or at least different, music instead of the patriotic flavor of-the-minute that's burning up the country music charts? Like they might just want to forget that they're at war for a little while? This war has sucked the fun out of country music.
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