Saturday

Newman

I just got off the phone a little while ago with the illustrious and esteemed Mr. Newman. He has been in a nasty car accident and is currently taking up residence in one of the better hospitals in Wisconsin. Fortunately, they have plenty of hardcore painkillers on hand to help him deal with the excruciating pain accompanying his condition, which I feel it would be gauche to extrapolate upon here.

I'll say this, which the doctors and everybody said, that he's lucky to be alive. This is not an exaggeration, because the human body normally goes into shock when it's in enough pain, and that, coupled with the loss of lots of blood, usually kills people. This, somehow, did not kill Newman. He awoke with people cutting his car open to get at him. After the administration of, in his words, "a motherload of blood", he wound up in a major city's hospital by automobile, the helicopter being impossible to use on account of fog. A lesser man might not have tolerated the pain, but he's not an ordinary guy.

Anyone wishing to make contributions to a package may contact me. Those free boxes from a while back showed up at my house and I feel like mailing him some stuff to read.

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