Double Flee A

I am not a lover of mankind. I often wonder if it weren't for us, how the food would get to the toilet. That's about all the need the world has for us. It needs us to use it up and throw it away.

Sometimes I wonder how old a person has to be to comprehend that suicide is an option that might be the best one. Does a baby who dies of "crib death" just kind of give up? Is sudden infant death syndrome, and pediatric suicide, actually something else entirely that we call suicide for a lack of understanding? Couldn't be! People understand everything. Especially about babies.

I was asking this question to a co-worker yesterday, and was irritated by what happened next. The meta-commentary that saturates everything sucked it away; we were unable to have the conversation without his addressing the fact we were having it, which had the effect, as it always does, of making it dumb. "Man, that's a pretty cheerful thing to contemplate, Dale!" Growl.

The reason this came up was my being upset. I am gradually growing more annoyed by the fact that some people get to feel all happy when they think about god, and I don't. Why do they get to feel fuzzy and warm inside, and I have to know that that feeling is a euphoria that I bring on myself? It isn't fair. I could work myself up into speaking in tongues if I felt like it. I could go on a guided meditation (prayer) and give someone control of the way I feel, for the short-term payoff. It must feel really good when a preacher-man gets you feeling gooey about the lord. It's a bummer that there's no holy spirit. At least for me.

I had a conversation about "spirituality" earlier with Colleen, a friend who I haven't seen in months, over a coffee. Actually I had water, but whatever. Spirituality is what people talk about when they want to be cooler than religious people but want all the same benefits. Try telling them about it, though.

Me: If there's a soul, it deserves to be studied, looked at, learned about. Wouldn't you say? I mean, could there be anything more important to study? But every time you start asking serious questions about it, it turns out not to be anywhere at all! So what's the fixation?
Her: Well, actually, quantum theory sums it up quite nicely.
Me: How?
Her: Well, it's that when you look for it, it changes. Or something. I should get you some of those books to read.
Me:...

As I then learned from her, after the spiritual ones' arguments are beaten, they're just going to come back with some sopping tripe about love.

To which I replied: "Ok, two people love each other. Magical. Until they have to fight for food. We're no different from the rest of the animals." That kind of deconstruction is so easy, so correct, so irrefutable, and so absolutely ruining to the concept of spirituality overall, that I am bewildered that the world hasn't collectively awoken to the fact that spirituality and fifty cents will get you a cup of coffee. It won't do you or anybody else a damn bit of good, other than accomplish mental laziness, so that you can space out and think about how cozy hearts and bunnies make you feel inside. And big hugs! Awwwww...

Yes, I am angry. Angry at everyone who can't have a conversation about this on a purely realistic level, angry at everyone who can't have a conversation about this without a running meta-commentary alongside and over the top of it to make the situation sufficiently regular, and comfortable and bearable, and safe for them to hide in, so that they can continue to believe in shit that doesn't exist while taking part in a serious conversation. Why bother being angry? Because if the world is ever going to change into a place where people take each other seriously, it has to come as a shock to the fantasists, who would rather close their eyes to the reality that life is temporary, that spirits do nothing but provide comforting illusions to people like women whose babies die for no reason.*

So here we go. I say that spirituality is a waste of time. Feel free to disagree, and we will talk it over. But there is no special treatment for family or anyone on this one. This goes beyond my irritation with christianity; I think it's a good opportunity to strike at the roots of willful ignorance.

*Now that I think about it, this kind of spirituality may have served an evolutionary purpose. A female who can use the tool of thinking her dead baby is in magic-land might have a better chance of trying again to reproduce. The truth is a little more bitter.

posted by dale @ 1:20 PM