Friday

my mean letter to a stranger

subject: a question for Mr. Brightside

Dear sir(s) at friend mafia,

Your weblog is an egregious effrontery to all sentient beings, living and dead. What you lack in taste cannot be repaid to those unfortunate enough to have found it, so I recommend you all kill yourselves immediately, and pray that history will manage to forget the awful crimes against taste which you, by appearances, haven't the decency to feel shame for.

Your weblog is so bad that if waved a juicy bacon cheeseburger in front of the hungriest prisoner in a North Korean concentration camp and offered to give it to them if they could think of anything worse than your weblog, I still would be holding that bacon cheeseburger an hour later.

I once thought I saw your weblog on the side of the road and swerved to hit it with my car, but realized at the last minute that it was just a fat, stupid bum covered in dog shit holding a sign which read, in large, red lettering, "I SUCK".

That being said, I have a question for Mr. Brightside.
How much dick would a woodchuck suck if a woodchuck could suck dick?

Toodles,
Dale
http://doublefleea.blogspot.com


Now, we'll see what happens. My guess is that the person reading this will click over here to see what the hell that was all about, and seeing that it was in jest, call me a loser and wash his hands of me. That, or since I have predicted that this was likely, come up with something else, which he wouldn't have had to do if I hadn't just made that prediction about him. A third possibility is that I will be ignored, not just artificially ignored because of the annoyingly kaleidoscopic recursions that are born out of this strange state of affairs, but genuinely ignored. Unfortunately there will be no way to ascertain the nature of the being ignored that is occurring at any time, and so the mystery will remain; we will wonder forever what could have been had I had a second way of letting you all know about this childish pestering but not let him know. Boy oh boy, there's really no telling what's going to happen now, unless he calls me a loser, in which case I will definitely say "See, I told you so."

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