tv sucks

In tv land, a lot of things happen real fast. If you're not paying attention, all that information can get right in your brain without your noticing. Commercial messages take advantage of this, and it's almost worth watching tv if you're bearing in mind the whole time, "this is what they're trying to get me not to notice", which in our postmodern world is actually true. Gone are the days of "whiter, brighter laundry", and here are the days of one company's ironic mocking of another company's advertising. (I'm thinking Geico's mocking of various companies' ads, especially Old Navy's, and Papa John's/Domino's.)

My least favorite thing I have ever seen on television, other than when the president of the United States pitched a hissyfit at the debates last fall and didn't get creamed in the (liberal? don't get me started) media for it, is the Johnsonville Brats guy. I can't find a trace of him on their website or anywhere else. He comes on and says something like "My name's Biggie and I like things big!" Then he launches into a droolingly stupid list of things he likes, you know, so we'll know what he, the spokesman for a bratwurst company, likes. Because this is exactly the kind of information we need.

He actually says "I like big American flags!" in the middle of his listing off of things he likes. I didn't find anything about that when I googled it and it's just another idiotic sign of the times, so I thought I'd be the one to document it. The Johnsonville brats company spokesman likes big American flags. There's something very creepy and obnoxious about the flag's regular association with ONLY this kind of dreadfully insipid puke. Whether it's these commercials with the fat guy, politicians with flag lapel pins ransacking the public trust, or any other application of it as a symbol to persuade people to buy something or think a certain way, the flag has been done to death in the media, partly because we're too damn lazy to give a shit when a fat guy needs an easy way to make people feel really good so they'll buy his company's lips and assholes packed as cheaply as possible into a package with a splashy logo. Hot dog, anyone? It's patriotic if you do! Fuck, that makes me mad.


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