Girl: Mom, how long do you think the turtle will live?
Mother: What do I look like, a fucking turtle connoisseur?

--Canal & West Broadway

Drunk chick: I had a boyfriend once. He wanted to stick a hot iron up my ass.
Sober guy: Well did he do it?
Drunk chick: I'm standing here, aren't I?

--- the always good to read
Overheard in New York


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