Double Flee A

making the world a better place

I love when Christians take their minstrel show on the road as much as the next totally indifferent fence post, but when they put up posters all over the place, including my school's bulletin board, my apathy subsides, and is replaced with whatever mood causes people to take down posters.

These people are a traveling show whose home base (if a p.o. box can be said to be that) is in Gallatin, Tennessee. Because the love of the lord and the love of groceries drives them out into the world to spread the great news, we are having their shenanigans in town here! It's going to be a great show, by the look of the glossy poster, which says this, in bright yellow letters:

"A POWERFUL DRAMATIC PRESENTATION THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

Earth shaking sound effects, brilliant lighting, creative costumes, and explosive pyrotechnics. The cast of over fifty will grip your hearts with contemporary scenes that hit you where you live. You will laugh, cry, and be on the edge of your seats."

I must be pretty out of touch if I thought that god was supposed to be enough without all the gripping, laughing, and crying, right on cue. Religion isn't about the actual existence of god and never has been. It's about the cycle of creating needs in people, and then meeting them, causing confusing emotional turmoil every step of the way. I'll bet my mother's eyes (don't worry, mom, they're safe) there's going to be abortion in this thing, and a heapin' helpin' of homosexuality. And the more graphic it is, the more "hitting you where you live" is going to drive the money right into the collection plate. Gay dudes butt fuckin' will put some coin in the righteous coffers, and if they play-act trying to abort a fetus, then fail, then have to beat it against the floor while blood sprays everywhere with the mom, the fetus, and the doctor screaming all at the same time, they're going to need a holy ATM afterwards.

Tricking people is the one kind of science that these frauds paid attention to in class.

Dear "Glory And The Fire Ministries",

You're shameless, hallucinating charlatans and you ought to keep your obnoxious bullshit out of my school cafeteria, and out of my sight. Rattle your tin cup at someone else, go pray in the closet, and shove your laser light show up your pious asses. Die and go to heaven already.

Fuck you, Dale


Poster 0, Me 1

posted by dale @ 1:09 PM