Tuesday

Ten Best Sleep-Deprived Hallucinations

1. My fingers are paralyzed and will never type again
2. My eyelids are magnetized to each other
3. I have not only read the same sentence eight times and still have no idea what it says, I remain quite convinced that it is changing meaning on me at will
4. The cat is vomiting in my shoes. Wait, that might be real…
5. My belt is cutting me in half
6. The glow-in-the-dark St. Isidore statuette my brother bought me is talking behind my back
7. Spud will make fun of me when I post this. Oh wait, that one’s real, too…
8. The branch scraping against the window is actually an escaped convict with a butcher knife
9. The infommercial host is sending me psychic messages
10. Everytime my cellphone beeps that it is looking for service, it is in fact, sending coordinates to the Mother Ship


Davezilla

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