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Great news. School is out next Friday, so I only have work that day, not work and school! I'll try to think of something fun to do while I'm at work today, but to imagine doing something fun requires you to comprehend the difference between the feeling of that moment and the feeling of this one, and it's pretty hard to do that to yourself when your next day off is in two months. So for now I'll just keep watching "falling down" over and over and writing numbers on the bottoms of cans of soup.
I've got regular work this weekend, and next weekend I'm training on chemotherapy. I'll be stuck in a little room making poison for children all weekend with an unpleasant-smelling person who lovingly refers to the barenaked ladies as BNL. If I can sedate myself for that, I will.
Working in the basement isn't so bad, usually, it's the monotony that finally jumps up and gets you, and that always comes as a surprise. I guess it's the breaking point for that denial I made an oblique reference to earlier, like when all of a sudden people find themselves middle aged and buy motorcycles. Sort of a what the hell happened there, feeling. That's the feeling that drove me into watch school like a drooling zombie scratching at a door, on the other side of which are delicious human brains. The fifty-nine community colleges that run their awful ads during "Maury" all day could save themselves a lot of trouble if they could just get people to locate the horrible lonely emptiness of their own sinking realization that their professional lives are somebody's train tracks to someplace else.
I'll get some sunshine in the three weeks following the semester's end in May and early June. Elko speedway opens then, I think.
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