Double Flee A

If men discussed their biological roles in the reproductive process the way women do where I work, with handy comparitive commentary:

Woman: I was morning sick and peeing four times during the night.

Man: You should have seen her, she was hotter than a two dollar pistol. I was like, Damn.

Woman: [rubs abdomen] You want to feel the baby kicks? Come over and see, if you want to. Go ahead. It's getting really strong.

Man: [grabs his junk] I don't want to brag, but my shit is huge. Seriously. You wanna see it?

Woman: [Whispers among other women, they all agree on something, eyes bulging, smiling.]

Man: [Same.]

Woman: The contractions were getting really close together and I was yelling at everybody.

Man: She's got one leg over here and I don't even know where the other one is, 'cause it's all I can do to not be a minuteman. I'm thinking about bicycles and shit like that.

Woman: And then the baby came out, and was like "Here I am!"

Man: Essentially, my brain exploded and I drowned the world in baby batter.

Woman: And then I was really tired but really happy, you know?

Man: I felt like I had been struck by lightning. My legs were like jell-o and I forgot where I was.

Woman: It was totally amazing.

Man: It was awesome.

posted by dale @ 9:02 AM