Monday

watch school update

Tensions are high in the classroom. Like, at the limit.

Our instructor demonstrated he can't take it today when he screamed at the class about nine thirty this morning.

Get this. You aren't going to believe it.

This morning as usual there was a totally new thing we had never seen before that was either going to be, or might be, on the test. He asked if we had done the acoustic and induction tests on the quartz watch tester and when one guy said "I haven't", the instructor screams "YES WE DID!". He fully screamed it.

Add to this his beating up on one of the students about how she had screwed up the sheets she charitably makes each week for the class to cut up as note cards, which... made her cry. And you know what? Of the two things she "did wrong", one of them is right according to our textbook (which says Huyghens is spelled with two H's, not Huygens. I know, who gives a shit.) and the other thing she got wrong was something he told us, which was a routine occurrence of the 16th century getting confused with the 1600s. That's not a big deal, either.

Can you believe this man teaches a class? You should, because it's true!

First that guy at the pharmacy who can't handle his reality and now my instructor, with whom I am forced to spend almost every weekday until the end of December. Any doctors reading this who want to write me a prescription for valium, email me (daleshipley@gmail.com) and I will allow you to. I don't know how much of this schmuck's ham-fisted theatrics I can put up with unmedicated. The best thing for everyone is if the instructor gets medicated.

Further proof: last week he slammed me in front of everybody for not paying attention. Why? Because I asked him a question. "If you'd been paying attention the FIRST time, rather than..." That's not paraphrase. And I still can't remember the question or the answer, because all I remember is his drama queen outburst at how I suck. Too bad that's not on the exam and what I asked him might be.

Then about ten minutes later he goes: "If you're wondering why I'm in a bad mood it's because my wife's out of town for the next three weeks and I have to play single parent, and I don't like it."

He actually said that to the class. Someday I'm going to live somewhere and I'm going to say "I used to live in a place where people actually said stuff like this", and then I'll say the stuff my instructor says, and me and all the people in the new place will shake our heads. How is a man that says that NOT a pitiful buffoon?

And you know what else? I get to ask questions, because I'm a fucking student and that's what students do so they can learn. My instructor is simply not cut out for teaching. In fact, he can't teach worth a shit. There, I said it.

As far as the rest of things go, I'm getting ready for a four day exam that starts on a Monday two weeks from now. If I blog less that's why. Miss me lots and say hello to our sponsors.

Right now I'm listening to 99 luftballoons, which is a great song. First, here are the English lyrics:

You and I in a little toy shop
Buy a bag of balloons with the money we've got
Set them free at the break of dawn
Til one by one, they were gone
Back at base bugs in the software
Flash the message, something's out there
Floating in the summer sky
99 red balloons go by

99 red balloons
Floating in the summer sky
Panic bells it's red alert
There's something here from somewhere else
The war machine springs to life
Opens up one eager eye
Focusing it on the sky as 99 red balloons go by

99 Decision street
99 ministers meet
To worry, worry, super scurry
Call the troops out in a hurry
This is what we've waited for
This is it boys, this is war
The president is on the line
As 99 red balloons go by

99 knights of the air
Ride super high tech jet fighters
Everyone's a super hero
Everyone's a Captain Kirk
With orders to identify
To clarify, and classify
Scramble in the summer sky
99 red balloons go by

99 dreams I have had
In every one a red balloon
It's all over and I'm standing pretty
In this dust that was a city
If I could find a souvenir
Just to prove the world was here
And here is a red balloon
I think of you, and let it go


Here are the lyrics to the German version translated:
If you have some time for me
Then I'll sing a song for you.
About 99 balloons
On their way to the horizon.
Perhaps you think of me a bit
Then I'll sing a song for you.
About 99 balloons
And that what goes around come around.

99 balloons
On their way to the horizon.
Seemed like UFOs from space
So a general sent.
A flying squad out there
To raise the alarm if it was true.
Yet there on the horizon
Were only 99 balloons.

99 jet hunters
Each one was a great warrior.
Thought that they were Captain Kirk
There were great fireworks.
The neighbours didn't snatch anything up
And immediately felt turned on.
Yet there they shot on the horizon
At 99 balloons.

99 war ministers
Matches and petrol cans.
Thought that they were clever people
Already smelled greasy loot.
Shouted: War, and wanted power
Man, who would have thought.
That one day it would come to this
Because of 99 balloons.

99 years of war
Don't leave a place for victors.
There are no ministers any more
No jet engines either.
Today I'm doing my rounds
Seeing the world lying in ruins.
Found a balloon
Think of you and let it fly.

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