Odds are toward the end of this winter my wife and I are Movin' On from this state like Merle Haggard, and if I were making a high school yearbook to commemorate the change there's only one candidate, one real one with some teeth, for "Least likely to be missed". And that thing, honey chiles, is the drivers in Minnesota. I have long acknowledged my need for some large signs to hold up and show people that say "FYI: YOU AREN'T VERY GOOD AT DRIVING A CAR", but yesterday I had to slam on my brakes on the highway harder than I ever have. Not to boast of my suffering under the invisible fist of Adam Smith's narcoleptic blue haired grannies, but I've driven this stretch hundreds of times at rush hour and seen many an accident, many a rubbernecker, and many a forgotten blinker (both on and off). I've even pulled many feats of daring that caused my passengers to sweat and make the kind of involuntary high moans you'd normally associate with the kind of porn where it isn't being faked, but never did I really wonder if I was going to end up in the back of a Volkswagen.
I hate you, Minnesota drivers. You suck and suck. I'll see you in twenty minutes on the freeway. Take us out of here, Merle.
The white line is a lifeline to the nation.
And men like Kix and Ronnie make it move.
Livin' like a gypsy, always on the go.
Doin' what they best know how to do.
Jammin' gears has got to be a fever.
'Cause men become addicted to the grind. (The grind.)
It takes a special breed to be a truck drivin' man,
And a steady hand to pull that load behind.
Thursday
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2 Comments:
Buck Truck is way more insightful than Merle. Yes, Buck listens to Merle, but he takes existence, let alone trucking/the slab/the hammer, much further than ol' Merle ever dreamed.
Apples and oranges and I disagree.
Based on their musical careers, Merle was a more well-rounded person and Buck Truck was like his truckin' prophet. Buck Truck even makes the case for the superiority of Merle by mentioning him. I'm not sure, but I don't think Merle has ever done a song with Buck Truck in it. Merle was a renaissance peasant with diverse interests. It wasn't all about trucking for him. For example, take a few Merle songs you know.
I Think I'll Just Stay Here And Drink
The fightin' side of me
Mama tried
I rest my case.
That being said I think we all know Buck Truck's the man you want behind the wheel when there's a deadline breathing down your neck. He didn't have time to cut records and pursue a music career, because he had to make a livin'. I understand that for shore.
It may be that Buck Truck has a rich inner life, one that can't be understood by people who aren't truckers. And I concede that in a sense he has taken his existence farther. I definitely won't argue that he hasn't pushed back the boundaries of mental health, and as such, broadened his horizons well past where they ought to be.
I sense that this trucking kinship out on the highways is strong. And it's all about Merle Haggard tapes. Little known fact: K-whoppers come from the factory with Merle pre-loaded in the tape player. Merle is the only connection people like Buck Truck will ever have with reality. Merle and gravity and that's about it. Merle should be our ambassador if intelligent alien life is ever discovered. He's already doing it.
Hank, why don't you get your CDL. You're ready to kick a few tires.
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