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nacho sounds off on everybody's favorite space epic...

Star Wars: Thirty years of successful marketing

"When I was a child I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man I put away childish things."

I was once like you. The fantastical universe created by George Lucas fascinated and amazed me. I bought all the plastic crap I could and watched the movies on VHS until the tapes fell apart. I stared at things and concentrated, convinced that I could somehow access the Force. I loved it so much.

This was a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. I went to school, I attended various weddings and funerals, and learned that only in a magical fantasyland could the people you love die and then come back to visit you in a spectral form that only you could see.

In school I learned what marketing is. I learned that if someone thinks they can generate revenue by doing something they will do it, examples:
Prostitution
New Coke
Ewoks

Why could I never get enough Star Wars? Because no one could ever get enough money.

Thirty years ago George Lucas made Star Wars and made a lot of money. It is still a great story, but it is also a very 70's story. The 1970's parts get over looked by the rabid fans who grew up ignoring that the Empire is the Nixon administration, the Jedi are New Age Zen Buddhists, Han Solo's sideburns, and the timeless, terrible dialogue. To quote the real Han Solo, Harrison Ford, "George, You can write this shit, but you can't say it."

And the ground breaking special effects? Are you talking about the fake space ships or that Darth Vader and Chewbacca are clearly guys in suits a la Robot Monster? Once again time has not been kind to Star Wars. Did you ever watch the original King Kong? It was a blockbuster. People loved it. Today it looks so fake and ridiculous that it is hard to believe anyone could have watched it and taken it seriously.

Star Wars an epic for the ages? Not likely. Did you ever watch your grandfather's Buck Rogers serials or watch your Father's favorite Roy Rogers movies? Of course not, they are hokey and dated.

And the next generation of dorks? Well, its pretty clear that they're are going to explain to you that you are a Muggle or a Woggle or however it is the Harry Potter people in capes refer the Star Wars people in capes.

It is sad to realize that a whole generation has been deluded for thirty years into thinking that corporate crap equals something worth caring about, but like all sad realizations it's time to grow up and accept it. The bad guys win, no good deed goes unpunished, and there never was a galaxy far, far away.

4 Comments:

At Saturday, May 26, 2007, Blogger Ian said...

I find your lack of faith disturbing.

 
At Sunday, May 27, 2007, Anonymous dale said...

your sad devotion to that ancient religion hasn't helped you conjure up the giant swaths of your childhood it annihilated.

 
At Tuesday, May 29, 2007, Blogger hank. said...

ooteedee!

 
At Tuesday, May 29, 2007, Blogger hank. said...

great post by the way.

 

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