no more please

Uncle! I'm sick of the duct tape jokes.

They've been going on for way too long and they never change. The duct tape joke isn't even a joke. It was last week when I heard some annoying morning radio deejay mechanically mouthing that "duct tape holds the universe together" that I realized something had to be done. No one including him thought it was funny, and after he said it there was a period of stunned silence; not the kind that merited a discussion among those present, but the stunned silence of those who stagger, brain-dead and zombie-like, from one stunned silence to another, and mis-refer to that succession of addled, arrested apprehensions as a consciousness.

Not amusing in the least, it was ostensibly juuust semi-tolerable enough to occupy three seconds of his, my, and everyone listening's, life. But I don't want to live under the sick black cloud of informational complacency. It's not that I'm a comedian and demand more from humor, it's that I'm a human being who places more value than that on my life, and it's self-evident to me that any amount of time is too much to tolerate this idiotic shit. The duct tape joke is the conversational equivalent of road noise, of shave-and-a-haircut, of a dog fart.

Feel free to comment on other tired associations.


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