I know what you're thinking: on someone's list of the ten weirdest diseases, does progeria makes the list? Yes. There could be a hundred of these and I wouldn't get tired of reading about them.

Sometimes when a girl licks something it's sexy. Other times it looks like this.

But when you're getting paid by the hour you do as you're told.

There are people who would kill for something and people who would die for something, and there are some who would do both for different reasons, but the point is that the lack of education and a suitable public forum is such that it's impossible for these multifarious groups to have enough time to talk over their respective differences and similarities. One thing that doesn't contend with this time dilemma is the machine of war, which always benefits from other people losing, dying, and maiming. Bring back the champions. Even if it didn't decide anything, it would buy us some time.

Experience has taught me that this is probably not made up, though there's no way to know for sure:

Bill Nye, the harmless children's edu-tainer known as "The Science Guy," managed to offend a select group of adults in Waco, Texas at a presentation, when he suggested that the moon does not emit light, but instead reflects the light of the sun.

I should show this to my wife. Drive your car to death, save $31,000


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