The secret. It's a book from Oprah-land, a housewife-friendly feel-good motivator. I hope you've heard of it, because I don't have time to get you to agree with me that it's ridiculous. Like left behind and the celestine prohecy, it's essentially a book for people who don't read books. The secret is apparently that you attract what happens to you by the way you think. It's your classic mystical emergence mantra premasticated for a target audience: reality itself derives from the prophecy within you! See how much power you have after all? Am I right, ladies?*

Time saver, I put the footnote right here! *Maybe that's what Oprah's whole thing is, boiled down to a single line. It's "Am I right, ladies?" but without meaning to be funny, and not interpreted as such.

It only takes about a tenth of a second by my watch to ponder the important question, by which I mean "the one that eliminates the legitimacy of the entire scenario": So people who have pain in their lives are attracting it with their thoughts?


The secret deserves no more space here. But I did see yesterday that a group session is being held next week, for people to get together and discuss how to live the secret. It was in a psychiatrist's office, where I had to go, uh, pick up a friend, and it made me think that my friend needs to consider getting an appointment elsewhere. The secret crossed with mental health is like sports crossed with bars. I'm always wondering if there's a bar anywhere without a flat screen tv and sports on. Just give me a bar, people, and just get the secret the hell out of the office. My friend, though, sees a different person in that office than has anything to do with the "living the secret" meeting, so it's not a dealbreaker.

I include the following picture because it's a great piece of advertising, not because it fits in anywhere in the story. Read: it doesn't. Blow this up. It's freaky.

In other news, I started taking lexapro the other day because I wasn't doing my part to support big pharma, and that had to change. I don't know if it's possible pharmacokinetically speaking, but during the night I had the happiest dream I can remember.


At Tuesday, October 02, 2007, Blogger Morgan said...

Cheer up Dale!
SSRI's Suck, but not as much as depression and anxiety.

Your Blog makes me laugh, and think, and that picture is scary, especially since I bear a much greater resemblance to the guy in Orange.

At Tuesday, October 02, 2007, Anonymous dale said...

Once I decided that listening to Jimmy Buffett on repeat wasn't working it was an easy choice. Come to think of it, maybe that's what started all this.


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