Double Flee A

Hey, Motherfucker, this is a Public Service Announcement.

Science has just discovered that Hip-Hop and Rap are totally different in many important ways.

Motherfucker.

Rapping requires writing rhymes and somehow involves turntables. Hip-Hop is a painting on the canvass of my attitude.

Motherfucker.

Rap is all about jewelry and dollar signs. They’ve even got jewelry dollar signs.

Hip-Hop, on the other hand, likes to wear this Yankees cap that I am currently wearing. Hip-Hop would like to ask that if you borrow my Yankees cap, please return it in a timely fashion.

Rap is an element of a certain kind of music. Hip-Hop, by contrast, is a nebulous cloud of energy that shares my views on Globalization.

This is a Public Service Announcement.

I’m like McGruff the Crime Dog. But I say, “Take a Bite Out of Rap.”

I have a character I call Whitey. Whitey loves sailing. But Whitey hates poor people. If a hobo points his sailboat at Whitey’s, Whitey takes evasive maneuvers.

Rap has no position on American’s foreign policy. Hip-Hop finds it imperialistic. Hip-Hop says that the CIA needlessly meddles in foreign lands. God I love music!

When I look at someone I give them a Hip-Hop rating, ranging from 1 to 10. Send me your photo and autobiography, and I will send you your Hip-Hop number. Society depends on it.

This has been a Public Service Announcement.

You can learn a lot from a dummy.

Motherfucker.




Nicholas Moore (2007)

posted by dale @ 6:10 PM