Double Flee A

I am really looking forward to seeing no country for old men. I like movies about violence as long as they're not documentaries, snuff films, abu ghraib footage, or that home video where me and some pals killed that drunk hobo.

Tonight finds me preparing for the day of thankfulness. I'm offsetting the gratitude to come by taking things for granted extra much, so I won't waste it when turkey day gets here. The dinner I had was meh, ok I guess and the accompanying beverage was so-so. My health I can't complain about although I could have felt better if I'd just climbed a mountain, and even though I wasn't fighting with anyone or afraid of anything, and even though my family and friends are healthy I still have a kind of ennui about it. I mean, does it really matter that I have a good job and that every day it's more or less a huge pleasure to be alive? Not for me. Because I'm getting ready for thanksgiving by celebrating "not-a-shit-giving".

As for Christmas, everyone's getting Walker, Texas Ranger DVDs this year. I have no choice but to to support a man who I'm convinced is perpetrating the greatest surrealist performance art of our time, because no one can seriously be this stupid. Except Zack. More on him later.

Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kicks Separation Of Church And State:


My friend John looked out his window and saw his neighbor vacuuming leaves off his sidewalk and called me. He often calls me on these occasions, which I love. A couple days later John called me again. Zack had just come over to say hi and drink a beer, and related the following.

Zack's got a wet/dry shop-vac in the garage, but he looked at the leaves and they were dry. Of course, he got the regular "dry" vacuum out of the house. He used it until its bag was full, then changed it, and repeated this process until he ran out of those bags. Before she left him, his wife had kept the house well stocked, so there were now twelve full bags lined up in the front yard waiting to be picked up by the city.

It's not a very long stretch of sidewalk Zack's responsible for, but the leaves were deep and plenty remained. Zack reasoned that he would make his own vacuum liner bag, using a trash bag and duct tape.

The technical details are foggy, but when Zack switched on the vacuum the leaves stayed put, there was a smell of burning plastic and the vacuum quit working. Now it won't even turn on. After being asked, John said he didn't know a lot about vacuum cleaner repair, and that's where the situation currently rests.

Since I forgot to tell you this before, and since according to New Order it's never enough until your heart stops beating, there's another Zack anecdote, about the time he tried to defrost his frozen-on gas cap using a cigarette lighter. John was able to stop him before he killed himself, and it was a wise choice, because Zack is free entertainment too valuable to allow to explode.

That's all for now.

posted by dale @ 6:46 PM