just fix the goddamn tire

I went on down to the closest retailer of tires to me, Rick Johnson Auto & Tire to get my tire fixed. Seems I'd run over a nail. The guy told me it could be fixed, so I said let's do 'er. As I'm standing at the counter I notice over my shoulder a bunch of christian literature sharing a rack with ads for different tires. The guy starts in on the transaction, which as far as he's concerned requires a lot of fields to be filled out on a screen, including a bunch of my personal information.

I gave him my name but when he asked for my address I shook my head and asked if that was really necessary, which he correctly sensed was rhetorical. Here's another rhetorical question. Is it just me, or are transactions getting more and more difficult? It's more rare that I buy something and the counter helper person doesn't ask me if I have one of their company's extra special cards, than that they don't. It even happened the other day when I bought a christmas ornament at the hallmark store. "No, I do not have a hallmark credit card", I was forced to say, though I indulged in saying it as emptily as possible. Thereby did we avoid the follow-up question about if I'd want one or not. You get good at these things after enough nonsense.

When I buy something, I don't want to give out my name address and phone number. I don't want a credit card for your store, even if by so doing, I will get a special discount. I just want to give some money to people who will do something for me I can't do myself. That's what makes this whole big rodeo we call an economy keep ripping along.

But if they won't relent, I also want something else. I want to reply to the zombies that have to spend their days and nights asking people like me if they have special credit cards by asking them something.

Do you want me to get a card? Do you really really want me to? Would it help you out a whole lot if I did? If it's not going to make your day personally, I'm going to need some more convincing, because being asked about whether I want to open an account with your fine firm has already cost me some of my valuable time. Maybe if you could tell me why it is that you are in this place and convince me why it's not a total waste of human life, that could project me into a reality that isn't so hopelessly bleak it makes me think if you were killed in a robbery, it wouldn't be such a terrible loss. If you could let me know that you understand how soulless and deprived your job is compared with what you're expected to bring to it in terms of human interaction, that would make me want a card.


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