Thing # 2: The Russian SCUBA divers versus the American Dolphins The US Military uses dolphins for various combat purposes. They don't talk about it much, but they have a website: http://www.spawar.navy.mil/sandiego/technology/mammals/mine_hunting.html Well, the Russian Special Forces have combat divers, who swim around, shoot people, and blow shit up. While reading about them I came across the following passage: "It is known, that two underwater saboteurs were lost at mining cargo ship of USA in a bay [ in Vietnam ]. They were killed [by] performing dolphins, which protected a bay. After that the employees of [Russian Special Forces] began to train in struggle against dolphins." (found here: http://www.spetsnaztraining.com/view/dolphin) and it is also mentioned here: See Anti-frogman_techniques#Trained animals for an incident when Russian frogmen killed some trained anti-frogman dolphins in an incident off Nicaragua. Or in a wikipedia article here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russian_commando_frogmen Maybe this is fake, but the idea of American dolphins fighting Russians underwater is the craziest shit I've read about in a while.
Thing #3: The Iraqi Death Cult: We know Iraq is pretty fucked up, but just how fucked came to light yesterday, when 200 members of the Soldiers of Heaven cult in Iraq were killed shooting it out with coalition forces. They weren't Sunni. They weren't Shiite. They were members of a cult started by a guy who claimed to be the Muslim equivilant of the Messiah. Think David Koresh. Think Jim Jones. His cult was targeting Shiites, and generally starting shit with whoever. The most amazing thing to me is that I found this on Al Jazeera, and never heard it on the news. A full on "drink the Kool Aid" cult in the middle of a war. http://english.aljazeera.net/NR/exeres/055BB7E7-37F6-4F7E-B9AA-B0EBA3E52390.htm
A 43-year-old Louisiana woman charged in Collier County with aggravated child abuse for piercing the pubic area of a 13-year-old girl as a way to keep her from having sex received a year in jail Tuesday and agreed to testify against the girl’s mother, who also is charged in the case. I gotta hang out in court more.
"...despairing recruiters have some serious quotas to meet. And for the promise of a fresh, warm body, it seems they're willing to overlook a few flaws."
The perpetrator called military recruiting stations around the country disguised as misfit would-be soldiers, all dramatically unqualified or unattractive for service in some way. The resulting transcripts are hysterically funny (the writer poses as a flamboyantly gay man, a mama's boy, a martial arts freak, a junkie, an IBS sufferer and a lobotomy patient)... the transcripts
The engine that drives the radical Christian Right in the United States, the most dangerous mass movement in American history, is not religiosity, but despair. It is a movement built on the growing personal and economic despair of tens of millions of Americans, who watched helplessly as their communities were plunged into poverty by the flight of manufacturing jobs, their families and neighborhoods torn apart by neglect and indifference, and who eventually lost hope that America was a place where they had a future.
Oh, by the way, I started watching Jesus Camp and had to shut it off after about fifteen minutes because watching the woman youth pastor literally made me feel ill. If anyone makes it to a half hour tell me what happens next.
I'm not sure who's getting screwed over harder here, but I'm pretty sure it's not who it's supposed to be in these prank phone calls to phone sex girls.
Sucks to be Baghdad. Try and fail to imagine how much you'd love someone driving a humvee like this in your city.
Hey guys I thought I'd show you this 'cause it's a video and everybody LOVES videos oh boy! But WATCH OUT! It might be unsafe to watch if someone who might try to make you feel guilty for loving titties is standing around. Safe for work, only on a technicality.
I'm missing the state of the union address tonight, intentionally. Seems to me based on the long line of amazingly poor decisions he's made, the president ought to be listening to someone else explain it rather than vice versa. I've really given up on any hope that that goldbricker would redeem himself, much as I'd love to be wrong about it.
Now a word from everyone's favorite surrealist, the fun-loving Andre:
Everything leads me to believe that there exists a certain point, a state of mind in which life and death, the real and the imaginary, the past and the future, the communicable and the incommunicable, high and low, cease to be perceived as contradictions. It would be useless to seek in surrealist activity any impulse other than the hope of determining this point.
Thanks to the simplicity and incorruptibility of the written word, it's easy to see and nice to know a lot of us are on the same page without taking it into account. I quote some other guys:
A man must be very lacking in moral sense if he needs religion to make a gentleman of him.
Boo hidy.
If you see a priest being beaten, make a wish.
Thanks, books.
Speaking of, after reading Dave Barry's freshman effort at fiction, Big Trouble, I've decided instead to spend my time with the bleak prose of J. M. Coetzee, lamenting the shortage of licorice popsicles. I'll take a stab at some of Dave Barry's nonfiction once I'm good and bummed out, since it's the taste that built the brand.
Middle-aged Long Island lady thumbing through magazine: Look, there's Stephen Colbert. Husband: Who's that? Middle-aged Long Island lady: He's a terrific Republican reporter on TV. You should watch him. He's really great. Puts the liberals in their place.
Guy #1: Dude, are you okay? You look exhausted. Guy #2: I am. My life is so weird right now. Guy #1: Still working on the divorce? Guy #2: That's pretty much finalized, actually. It's this girl I started seeing last week. Guy #1: Wait, you're dating that hot Russian chick? Guy #2: Yeah, Svetlana*. She's a total nympho -- I haven't slept in days. She won't leave my crotch alone. Plus, whenever we're going at it she keeps calling me 'Master.' It's fucked up. Guy #1: You just lost any chance at sympathy, asshole.
I dreamed I was on a group mission to intercept a truckload of marzipan from getting to a woman named Damascus. There was a samurai sword fight and a train involved, and the worst part, a catchy theme song that described our entire mission in about fifteen words. I'm glad I finally woke up, because dreams with their own theme songs make me feel insane. It's nice I'm getting back to work today on watches after what seemed like a long break. Wednesday we shut off the cable, Friday we drive away to our new lives in Florida. I have intentionally not seen the Al Gore movie about global warming, because I get the feeling it would make me want to buy a house on top of a mountain in Colorado, and I already suffered as only impending apocalypse can make you suffer after reading the oil we eat in February 2004. I recall the subsequent six to ten months seeming dimly lit.
(Marzipan is thought to have originated in Syria, by the way, that or two other places. I'd like to see people arguing over this.)
Female people with their clothes on and then off again. Why the careful wording? Because I don't want to get piss-pounded by legions of people looking for stars of the genre of film generally reserved for adults, although that's what these people are. Ask anyone with visitor logs; they'll tell you the same thing. NSFW
Michael Ledeen, a Freedom Scholar at the American Enterprise Institute and a contributing editor to National Review Charles Krauthammer, Washington Post columnist and frequent Fox News mouth Paul Mirgenoff, Powerline blog Peggy Noonan, Wall Street Journal columnist
Ever since the U.S. invaded, those who pointed out that we were achieving little more than mass death, destruction of American credibility, conversions of moderate Muslims into extremists, and a serious weakening of our military were vilified as America-hating terrorist allies who wanted us to lose. Those who simply pointed out that the war effort wasn’t going according to promise were derided as cut-and-run “defeatocrats” who lacked the intestinal fortitude to fight...
All of these self-proclaimed super-patriots who spent the last three years shrieking that anyone who criticizes the war is a friend of the terrorists are now being forced to admit that the war is unwinnable. But rather than acknowledging their reversal, they seek to erase the public record...
Isn't it amazing how, despite nearly six full years of unchecked Republican power, despite a brutal and scandal-ridden rule over both houses of Congress, despite a stunning gutting of the treasury and a war that is costing us $100,000 per second, despite a lapdog media that was terrified as a Chihuahua in a hurricane of Karl Rove's appalling disinformation machine -- a supposedly liberal media that, for more than five years, didn't dare question anything about Dubya's rush to war for fear of upsetting the wailing evangelical neocon "majority" that ruled the schoolyard with a bloody iron Bible, is it not amazing that the GOP's historic national disgrace is, of course, all the liberal's fault?
If there's a flattering way to photograph the elderly, Mark Story doesn't know about it. For all the trouble that's gone into this collection and the strength of the premise, I'm disappointed with the results. Some have described his photography as awesome, spectacular, and beautiful. Try ghoulish, ham-fisted, and undergraduate.
I was buying something this afternoon and the total rang up as 1.70. I only had 50 cents in change, so I had to give the cashier two bucks. I got the thirty cents back and I'm looking at it in my hand and thinking "well, NOW I have enough coins" and I thought I remembered someone saying that when this situation comes around, it seems like you always wind up with enough coins for the transaction after it's over. I thought I'd figure it out to be sure, and not that it's all that interesting, but here's what I found.
If you've got no coins and the amount you need is less than fifty cents, you'll obviously wind up with enough afterward and this is not so if the amount you need is over fifty cents. This could become tedious if I don't do this according to a system, so I'm going to put the amount of change you have and the maximum amount you would be able to make change for after the transaction, based on those amounts. (You'll wind up with .75 after the transaction if you started with .50 but not .76)
As you can see, if you have an amount of change and you divide the amount between it and a hundred by two, then add that to your amount and ignore the decimal points, you get your answer, so fifty per cent of the time you wind up with each scenario.
If people could see how much fuel they guzzled while driving, Wayne believes they'd quickly learn to drive more efficiently. "If the epa would mandate fcds in every car, this country would save 20 percent on fuel overnight," he says. "They're not expensive for the manufacturers to put in—10 to 20 bucks—and it would save more fuel than all the laws passed in the last 25 years. All from a simple display."
Five “hotspots” of mercury contamination posing a risk to human health have been found in the eastern states of the US and eastern provinces of Canada. Average mercury concentrations in many of the region’s freshwater fish exceeded the US Environmental Protection Agency’s (EPA) recommended level for safe consumption by up to 20 times.
HI IM LARRY POTTER and this is me holding mystupid wand. I will wave it around and say stupid stuff and MAGIC will fly out of it OH BOY is that a BIG LIE.
WHat really happinds is for the magic to be maed up and the only thing that's real that also has magic is the lord and saviour of ALL MANKIND and that means YOU MISTER WISE GUY, JESUS CHRIST.
So listen to ME DUMB ASS, dont go to hell for worshiping the DAMN DEVIL and his MAGIC like Larry Potter and the (un)harmless littel storys that make people and children go to FUCKEN HELL!!!
