Betty Butterfield has moved.

This should help relocate her.

Remember "the parent trap" with Haley Mills? That was possibly the most emotionally unhealthy nmovie you can show to a child. I was just thinking about the song
Let's get together, YA YA YA, etc., and laughing about the mixed messages you get as a child in media world.
Thanks disney, for teaching millions of kids that if you try hard enough, you can make mom and dad fall in love again.

halloween costumes

Thinking about costumes. Thinking Mister McFeely with a Speedy delivery. It gives me the creeps but I think I have to go for it.


Lat call, my house at six for carpool.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

JV and I went to see this last night. We had dinner and then piled into the theater downtown with high expectations.

A long time ago, at my brother's behest, I picked up some books by Kurt Vonnegut. The first one I read was Breakfast of Champions, followed by Welcome to the Monkey House, then Slaughterhouse Five. Those were so good I read most of the rest of them. All of them, I think, except timewarp, or whatever similar title is always advertised on the Vonnegut book jackets. You may know the one. Anyway, the frist three were always my favorite, and most other people's as well. Years later, I saw that there was a movie based on Breakfast of Champions. "That book was EXcellent. How bad can the movie be?", thought Dale... When I watched it, I found the answer to this question was: Horrible. Awful. Shit-sucking turd nightmare Satan's asshole. I had been taught a valuable lesson. Or so I thought, until last night.

[Important statement: This movie wasn't that bad. Nothing can be as bad as the movie Breakfast of Champions.]

Douglas Adams's grave is smokin'. I can smell the burning peat from here. He is rolling in his grave, spinning, trying to exceed the speed of light in order to turn back the clock and undo this heinous misdeed. Unfortunately, fantastical things like this are imaginations, only.

They slight Adams with a screenwriting credit when an aficionado knows there's no way. The jokes are butchered. The story is changed. The guy even gets the girl. I thought I was going to throw up when they turned it into a love story. Even the guy who played Arthur couldn't do what he does best, because the tempo of the movie wasn't built around his experiences, the way it should have been, buut around the irritatingly wacky beetle-juician (think Michael Keaton here) Zaphod Beeblebrox. The guy who played Arthur is an acting Genius, and they didn't allow him to do his thing. Which could have saved this turkey.

One scene was excellent, when Arthur and Slartibartfast take the air car out into the hangar of Magrithea, but that was all.

I didn't want to write this. But I also wanted the movie to be better. So in short, I am hurt by this movie. What could have been an epic feast of interestingness was boiled down into a thin gruel, for what the studios saw when they looked at the potential viewers. So we got a lukewarm sci-fi love story.

Feel free to disagree. I could have spent all day writing about this, and it probably deserves better treatment from me, but I have to go to work.



HHG2G opens tonight.

People everywhere, mostly male people, I would wager, are taking pictures of girls' asses and uploading them to the internet. And here they are. Safe for work, but good luck explaining.
Surreptitious Ass Shots

McSweeney's Internet Tendency: The Gay Agenda.

hack billy bass

Marsette Vona: Boogie Bass Hack: Details for Billy Bass

Protect Public Weather Data

Electronic Frontier Foundation:

the most recently posted 40 LJ Images
maybe nsfw


The New York Times > Arts > Art & Design > Rock, Paper, Payoff: Child's Play Wins Auction House an Art Sale

Hi, my name is Xuan Minh, and I am 3.
I live in the Tu Du Hospital in Ho Chi Min city. This is me hanging out with all my friends on Friday March 25, 2005, suffering from what is believed to be the effects of the jungle defoliant Agent Orange, used heavily in the region by the U.S. armed forces during the Vietnam War. I'm not surprised by anything, I just have serious deformities. Thanks, GI Joe! Do you mind if I chant "U.S.A." a bunch of times?

profits up

Cheer up, America! Oil companies are making money hand over fist!
Unocal Profit Climbs on Oil, Gas Prices
Marathon Oil 1Q Profit Rises 26 Percent
Exxon Mobil Sees Profit on Oil, Gas Prices
Shell profits lifted by record oil prices despite production drop

Bush last night

One of the following links is to a Fox news story about last night's speech by Dunior. Try to figure out which one it is!
Bush takes big gamble
Bush tries to make statement, change topic
Our Brave and Wise Leader Clarifies Social Security, Energy Plans
Many of Bush's allies retreating on private accounts

the year is 2005

And people are still obsessed with "THE PROPHECY!"
Doomsayers Say Benedict Fits World End Prophecy - Yahoo! News


Today in 1862, New Orleans fell to Union forces under Admiral David Farragut.

Today, sixty years ago, German forces in Italy unconditionally surrendered to the allies, Dachau concentration camp was liberated by the Allies, and a Mister Adolf Hitler married Eva Braun in a bunker in Berlin. Cowards always hide in bunkers. Sometimes they even die there.

In 1967, Muhammad Ali was stripped of his boxing title because he didn't want to go die for some bullshit in Vietnam.

LA was in flames after Rodney King's attackers got off on this day in 1992.

And a year ago, Richard Cheney and George W. Bush testified before the 9/11 Commission in a closed, unrecorded hearing in the Oval Office.

Alfred Hitchcock died today in 1980.


just another day at the white house

Image hosted by
Secret service guards waved guns at Americans because a cloud passing overhead triggered the paranoid radar guys.

Guardian Unlimited | Special reports | Incoming cloud forces Bush into safe bunker

Then he gave a speech, the text of which is here.

Maybe they thought the cloud was a UFO. That gives me an idea.


CIA’s final report: No WMD found in Iraq

Well, duh.
CIA’s final report: No WMD found in Iraq - International News -

me first

Work for the lord. Or something like that.
Focus on the Family Employment: Customer Support Analyst I - Macintosh

To be a consistent witness for Jesus Christ is the first requirement of this job. So it's pretty much like spiritual prostitution. What pays more? This, or the church across the street?

I'll believe anything you want if the price is right, but still know better. It's interesting the amount of energy expend defending their beliefs.

A glimpse at my ideal world:

Have no beliefs and start from there. Build your own beliefs. It's a drag to just swallow what everybody tells you. You get one lifetime, why waste it on Jesus or somebody else's shenanigans?

Beliefs change over time. Our devotion to them should reflect their transience.


NPR : Ivory-Billed Woodpecker Rediscovered in Arkansas


60 years ago this very day, Benito Mussolini and his wife were shot. Their bodies were hung upside down in a public square in Milan so that their bodies could be muitlated. Which they were, very much. He was later buried in an unmarked grave.

Even in death, it seems he's mugging for the camera:

Jim Goad

He had to move his site.
It's here now:
:::::: � JIM GOAD � ::::::

I'm going to Elko speedway Saturday night with some friends.

Any and all are invited to attend. I'm meeting Neal at my house at six. So if you want to ride with us, or figure out how to get there, be there then.

It's 12$ to get in, (less, I would think, for kids) and starts at 7. I like to get there right after the national anthem is butchered by a snot-nosed pageantress at seven O one. Summit at six, on the road at six twenty.

James Wolcott: Green Fades to Brown, Brown Fades to Black

not your typical cowboy

bush in love?


Last night I was watching the tube with JV, waiting for "alias" to come on, and the last three minutes or so of some show called "lost" had to finish up first. It looks like it might be the worst show since "land of the lost", but that's neither here nor there. A guy got killed trying to radio for help hanging in a tree in the jungle and then some lady gave birth out in the jungle. I guess they're all lost in the jungle. Anyway, I come back to the couch where JV's watching all this happen and she's smiling, because there's a baby on tv.

JV, contemplatively: "A life ends and a life begins".
DS: "Well, the guy who died actually knew how to work a radio and probably how to build a fire and stuff, and that baby doesn't know dick. I'd call that a net loss."
JV: "But the baby is cute and will make them happy."

Just wanted to give you an idea what I'm up against in this relationship.

darth vader's blog

The Darth Side: Memoirs of a Monster

via mefi:
Republicans; defending the rights of rapists to sue since 2005.
Did you just impregnate your 13 year old daughter? Never fear, the GOP is here! They'll defend your right to keep your "little secret" from crossing state lines.

Look how much money you don't have!
Forbes: most expensive zip codes

skinny redhead


News, literally: Some guys from the Pioneer press (st. paul's daily newspaper) came to our class today. A reporter named paul and a photographer. The photographer just walked around not saying anything and getting right on top of people. What a jerk.

News: Rica (sp?) is back from Brainerd and will be making JV and I a sandwich later. She's a girl that made the fabulous (If the president can get away with overusing that word, why not me? But I have to draw the line there; if I start rubbing bald guys' heads and hanging around with gay prostitutes, people will talk.) Rica chicken sandwich at the local sub shop, before she moved away. She's only here for a couple of days, so we have to get in there while we can.

Other news: when a sandwich is news, there isn't much news.

More other news: Pivot gauges are going well. I'll be burnishing my pivot this afternoon until it gleams like, well, it's hard to say, because nothing gleams in the same way as a burnished pivot. The angels sing when it is beheld, and Jesus drops a load in his heavenly smok. Which stinks -- to high heaven! Kill me. Please.

Yet more other news: there's a stray dog in my neighborhood. I have to carry a bat when I go outside because I don't want to get bit and get rabies. I've heard that a rabies shot is one of the most painful ones there is. Also, I kind of want to cream something with a bat, and this is a great excuse.

Continuing uselessness: the parking situation in my neighborhood has reached bullshittian proportions. I have had to park a block and a half away from my house three of the last four nights. Which gives me more time to look for that stray dog.

Overkill: I'm wearing khakis and a green top today. I have that ready for summer look, and a cheerful disposition.

Conclusion: I could have skipped all this and it wouldn't have made any difference, but aren't you glad we had this time together? Remember that time I was telling you about Rica from here, but now she's from Brainerd and she's back just long enough to make me a sandwich? Oh boy! And then there was that time the news photographer was a dick to everybody? Man! That band Boyz 2 Men was right. It IS so hard to say goodbye to yesterday. Hoo-wee!

hercules cluster

Astronomy Picture of the Day

WorkingForChange-This Modern World: The overzealous Republican staffer

Walmart versus Target

Walmart versus Target - price comparison using a Twenty-Item Checklist

How to make a Coin Ring

Wander the 'hood and find wifi hotspots : Lifehacker

McSweeney's Internet Tendency: What I Would Be Thinking About If I Were Billy Joel Driving Toward a Holiday Party Where I Knew There Was Going to Be a Piano.
by michael ian black


image guessing game


gay prostitute had remarkable access to the president

I didn't know moral values came in gay-guy's-dick flavor! This administration has so much to teach America about how low people can go!
The Raw Story | Secret Service records raise new questions about discredited conservative reporter


Coca cola, the conspiracy theory has it, only did "new" coke to distract everybody from their switch from cane sugar to the less expensive corn syrup. Coke's website FAQ sheet has this to say about high fructose corn syrup:
"How can Coca-Cola classic be the original formula when it now contains high fructose corn syrup?
Coca-Cola classic is the original formula. Because there is no noticeable taste difference, bottlers have the option of using either high fructose corn syrup (HFCS), beet sugar or cane sugar, depending on availability and cost."

Well, tonight, because I think everybody is lying to me all the time, I went to Fishman's extremely Jewish grocery and picked up a couple of cases of "kosher for passover" coke. And Coke is lying. The difference is huge. Sugar coke tastes excellent. It's the taste that built the brand.

Just regular kosher isn't the real article when it comes to coke. It has to be kosher for passover. The cans still say high fructose corn syrup, but underneath that you'll see a little black trangle that says "P05 CRC". That means passover '05. CRC beats me. Either it was cheaper to make the stuff without changing the can, or by changing the can too drastically Coke would risk drawing attention to itself. And the more people know about how good "kosher for passover" Coke is, the way Coke is supposed to be, the worse off Coke is. People don't want the second best shit. That's the whole point of drinking Coke instead of Wal-mart cola. And when America's number one brand is being made with second-rate ingredient, what does that say about America's number one brand?

When the passover Coke sale ends, it's gone till next year. And in the meantime, I'm told there's a product called "china cola" made with sugar. I wil be trying that when my stash dwindles. But for now, I am happy to have figured this out. At Fishman's you'll pay $3.69 a six pack, and when that place is out, beats me where you can get it. Happy hunting!


There's something I can't stand, something that gets stuck in my head and tears it up like a burr that got in a shoe. A burr made of pointy steel against a pink foot, just scrubbed up and rubbed, in a shoe that fits really close. I think I actually hate this thing. It is the kiwi kid on the Mazda commercial whispering "zoom zoom". When I think about it, I want to tear my ears out.

A guy I go to class with, Alvin, does an incredible impression of this kid, and he did it yesterday. Like other kinds of injuries, it still hurts a day later. I wish I could disguise my contempt for this auditory injustice. But the secret's out and I can expect more zoom zooms in the future. Crap.

Each day has a funniest thing. It is not the breath of the guy on my right at the library right now. That is the most disgusting smell with the longest range of the day. Damn! How can that smell so close, so far away?
Anyway, this is that funniest thing:
Stupid Hacker.


A dot for every second in the day - a clock


Jesus cries when you touch yourself



The new pirate ship.

today in history

1865 - American Civil War: Confederate General Joseph Johnston surrenders his army to General William Tecumseh Sherman at Durham Station, North Carolina.
1933 - The Gestapo is established.
1986 - In Ukraine, a nuclear reactor at Chernobyl explodes, creating the world's worst nuclear disaster. Thirty-one people are killed directly by the incident and many thousands more are exposed to significant amounts of radioactive material.
1937 - Spanish Civil War: Guernica, Spain is bombed by German Luftwaffe.
1946 - Father Divine, a controversial religious leader who claims to be God, marries the much-younger Edna Rose Ritchings.
1991 - Seventy tornadoes break out in the central United States. Before its end, Andover, Kansas would record the year's only F5 tornado and 17 people would perish.
1994 - South Africa holds its first multiracial elections. The black guys whoop ass.

121 - Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor (d. 180)
1711 - David Hume, Scottish philosopher, historian (d. 1776)
1785 - John James Audubon, naturalist, illustrator (d. 1851)
1889 - Ludwig Wittgenstein, Austian-born English philosopher (d. 1951)
1894 - Rudolf Hess, Nazi official (d. 1987)
1963 - Jet Li, martial arts fighter, actor
1983 - Jessica Lynch, POW rescued from Iraq in 2003


Senator Reid: Bush Social Security plan is 'dead'

Sorry. That's really old news by now. But I wanted a reference for posterity. News - Top Stories - Former Labour MP defects to join Liberal Democrats:
"The left winger - a Labour member for 37 years - said the illegal war in Iraq, the authoritarian nature of the current government and the Prime Minister’s "stomach turning lies" had forced him to quit."

I wish America had some reasonable people like this.

Giving a whole new meaning to cold, hard cash, a Wisconsin man tells authorities that he froze his dead mother for four years to collect her social security.

compare and contrast

The Republican Party Loyalty Oath, Courtesy of Kim Jong Il of North Korea

christian college

Students moved off campus after threats: "'My understanding is that they're supposed to start shooting the black kids [today]'" - mother of a student

Secrets of Firefox 1.0


Who Links Here

dear asshole in traffic,

It was really funny today when you waited till the last ten feet to merge right in front of me. It's not like you couldn't have merged for at least a quarter mile up until then. It amused me that you wouldn't want to conceal your stupidity, that you would actually expect that kind of behavior to go unpunished. It brought a smile to my face, which, during rush hour, is an achievement unto itself. Way to go.

The hilarity increased when I swerved to the right and accelerated to close the gap between me and the car in front of me, for at that point, asshole in traffic, instead of gliding like a skilled race car driver into the spot you had been eyeing, you were forced to swerve hard to the right, which almost caused you to flip that stupid SUV of yours. That one had me laughing out loud, asshole. I especially liked how I could subsequently hear you screaming even though I had my windows up and the radio on pretty loud. You were pretty surprsed to see me laughing, I think. But I don't care. You're just some asshole in traffic. An asshole who doesn't understand that there are other people who want to get home as badly as you do, who respect each other more than you do. And we are all fed up with your shit.

Asshole, when you wait until the last second to merge, it causes people to drive too close to the people in front of them, so that they won't be the suckers taken advantage of. Which is a needless expenditure of countless brake pads and barrels of oil, when sadly, all it would take to solve this problem is for jerks like you to stop lunging for every ten feet you can get in bumper to bumper traffic. Which you will never do.

Asshole, next time you're at least going onto the shoulder where all the gravel and old tread is, if not flipping that damn thing. And if I do scratch my bumper in the process and I have to stop, I will say oops, and shrug. And later, I will laugh and laugh.

Asshole, we can settle this on the highway. You and me can have our little death match and see who gets killed. But before that happens I want you to consider something. Ask yourself: "Do I really expect to continue walking all over people indefinitely?" Because it isn't going to happen. Asshole.

P.S. Asshole, thanks. You have convinced me that I am not racist. Even though you were black and dressed like you were in some obnoxious rap video, I didn't even think of that you were black. I just thought of what an asshole driver you are. So thanks for making me feel good about my lack of racial bias. Your being an asshole, in a roundabout way, has helped me this day.

nature stuff

Here's a video (quicktime) of ants that live in the stalk of some plant in the Amazon, and when larger prey climbs the stalk, the ants all bite from within the holes. Once all the legs are taken and the prey can't move, other ants climb on it and kill it. This is the first time anyone has seen a group of ants build a trap to catch larger prey.

you. have got. to be shitting me.

U. S. government to pay for your gasoline, if you drive a big-ass SUV

jim goad

His site's a goner soon, so check it out while it's there. He's moving to
The forum's always great, here's "things that don't exist":
:::::: � JIM GOAD � ::::::

the United States of Jesus

McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Your Best Guy Friend Is Me.

i love kvsc

Color Chart by VisiBone: "Here are 216 hexadecimal HTML color codes arranged by hue."

Starting a Fire Using Soda Can and Chocolate

Oh, my stars and garters!: Do these pants make my vagina look big?

The Essence of Douchebag

the "ranch"

Hmm. I don't see any cows.
Eyeballing the Bush Ranch

christian hair metal

Welcome to The Trumpet Call
embedded audio
These guys think they're the sixth trumpet of John's revelation.


awesome theory

The Great Coca-Cola Conspiracy
thanks for the link Joel.

He rocks in the treetops all day long,
And a-boppin’
And a singin’ his song.
All the little birds on Jay Bird Street
Love to hear satan go tweet tweet tweet,

Rockin’ Satan


Rockin’ Satan.

This is completely disgusting and should not be watched by anyone. It will put you off your lunch. Do not watch it. It is a video.
Goatse variation
Not Safe For Work or Anyone

Ugh. I think I'm done surfing the web for a while.

what is this?

cool photography

Brightridge Recent Images

"World Wind lets you zoom from satellite altitude into any place on Earth. Leveraging Landsat satellite imagery and Shuttle Radar Topography Mission data, World Wind lets you experience Earth terrain in visually rich 3D, just as if you were really there."

I am really there. But whatever.
NASA World Wind

ok, what?

Pointy 'n' Me:


Longmire does Romance Novels

new get your war on

page 46

re: the vagina thing at that high school
Letters from readers, strib

The New York Times > Business > Medtronic to Pay $1.35 Billion to Inventor

The New York Times > Opinion > Op-Ed Columnist: A High-Tech Lynching in Prime Time

the virgin mary

She's turning up more and more places, and causing white people to get out of their SUVs in public at an underpass in Chicago.
If I had time, I'd photoshop some other places the virgin mary showed up.

not safe for work, but a must-see

Ballad Of A Dog Named Stains

sniglets of the future

Wrapped Up Like A Douche

about the filibuster GOP hopes to strip Democrats of filibuster

Oxford University Press: The New American Militarism: Andrew J. Bacevich


just another eight to five

Seven days a week, I get up at six o'clock. I drink the coffee that comes out of my fiancee's (now mine through right of possession) auto-timer coffeemaker that I set the night before, and I surf the web and check email. If it's a weekday, I go to watchmaking school, and weekends, it's work at the pharmacy. Fridays I work after school. In the evenings, I try to do something fun if I can. If nothing is cooking in Dale's tepid social life, he just hangs out at home, usually on the internet, looking for something that, to borrow an expression he absolutely hates, trips his trigger. I alternate between first and third person sometimes, just for something to do. It's nice, and gives me someone to blame when things go wrong.

Over time, the seven day a week deal makes me tired, and unsure whether I am behind on sleep, or if it's world-weariness that's climbing me like a knotty vine. Melodrama would make that an easy choice, but my melodrama is pretty annoying even for me, much moreso, I would think, for anyone else.

I read once that there are more kinds of parasites than there are hosts in the world, more things that live in other things than there are other things. As one of the other things, I resent this a little. The things that live on and in me aren't bad for me until I'm too weak to fight them off any more, so for now, as per nature's plan to keep us alive till we can pass along our genes, I'm fine. For all I know I've got another fifty years in this meatsack. But working and going to school every day wears me out, and if I had to go on doing this for the rest of my life, I wouldn't want that life to go on indefinitely.

One nice thing about my job is that everybody's calling in sick all the time, so if I occasionally do that even when I'm not sick, it's no big deal, and they pay me when I'm not there as part of an elaborate "paid time off" system that is part of the union's deal with the company that owns the hospital. My income is basically guaranteed, as long as I usually show up, and they pay me well enough, so that's good. If I had just that job full time, I could live a normal life on what I made.

School is fine, though a little stuffy. It makes me remember things I forgot on purpose, memories of school. These memories, except that they are school-related, are totally unlike school in its current form. I just want to make that clear. I'm going now because I know what delayed gratification is about, and what kind of jobs are waitning for me if I don't go. Being indoors at a desk makes me remember things like the weather being perfect outside when being outside was forbidden, and an authority figure at the front of the class saying things I could not care less about, saying things I already knew, that the other kids were too stupid to get the first four times they were told. And I was the bad person for being impatient. Stupid people never get in trouble for being stupid. It's always the ones who know those guys are stupid. People like young Dale. The other kids would read --some of them the ones who were more popular than I was and (does one affect the other?) meaner-- stumbling, staggering, and tripping through the sentences, making that silent mouth-shape like a fish gasping right before it dies, until the teacher would say the word for them and they would move on. When it was my turn to read aloud, I would do it so quickly and articulately that the teacher would tell me to slow down so the stupid kids could move their fingers along with them crazy writin's.

JV and I are going to go over to a friend's. We decided at the last minute it was a little too cold for Elko speedway.

If I had two thumbs on each hand, I bet that would be pretty cool.

funny personal ads


Yahoo! News - Cheney: I'll Vote to Stop Filibusters

This looks retarded.
The Party Videos

It is retarded. I'm screwing up the URL so it won't go anywhere. If someone really wants to, they can get there.


the usual

"GRILLO THE CLOWN drools and babbles incoherently (in all languages and none) while wearing a CARDBOARD SPACE HELMET..."
Grillo's Opinions, FREE of charge!!

Join al Qaeda!

jest magazine - volume 3 issue 2


double flee a - the webcast


but better than never.
Horse head pillow

girl i know you messing with my man

via boing boing

dale shipley, professional

Today I got paid for making stuff. That pretty much makes my day. The two stems I made last week that weren't as good as the third one I made, I sold to my instructor for ten bucks apiece. It's not much, but it's something. I am taking in payment a twenty dollar pair of bronze tweezers instead of the money; I'll literally need those metaphorically down the metaphorical road. Well, I've got more stuff to make and more figures of speech to (metaphorically) slaughter, so I'm out of here. We've moved on to pivot gauges, which are much harder to cut, the steel is hardened and tempered to blue, so it dulls the bejeezus out of our HSS gravers.

sad, sad, sad

Sometimes people drop by the old cyberville comment deally-bobber to promote their own sites. That's pretty common, and a perfectly understandable way of getting their message out. I respect that they take this approach. It takes time.

Looks like we got a comment last night that goes like this:

Just viewed your blog—interesting.
Please take a look at mine--it's totally eye-opening:

As you can imagine, my expectations were high. Seeing something totally eye-opening, even on a network as vast as the internet, doesn't happen every day. I attribute the reason for this to the limitations on people themselves. It takes a really long time, unfortunately, for a human being to unlearn all that crap the establishment shoves down your throat so you can really think for yourself --most people never get there-- and until they do, nothing they produce is very creative, or very thought-provoking, it's all got a flavor of sameness. People do the best they can, but unfortunately, they're also doing the best they can, all the time, to copy their beliefs over to everybody else, and that works really well. Take a look at the relevance of the Roman Catholic church, both the largest and the oldest continuously operating institution in existence.

I couldn't wait to have my fuckin' mind blown by "who will die today?" So I clicked it, and held on to my ass with both hands so that the shock wouldn't have me sprayin' shit all over the place.

And when I got there it was a disappointing one-post blog that asks if you're good enough to get into heaven if you die today. Totally eye-opening? I think he or she has got eye-opening mixed up with boring and dogmatic.

So I decided to write them an email:

I noticed you posted a comment on my blog! Which is cool. What isn't cool is that your blog sucks. So shut up and go away.

I then posted a link to this post, in case they wanted more information, which creates a kind of recursion that it makes me dizzy to think about. Another day, another obnoxious Christian. Maybe they'll die today.

If these people want to be in heaven so bad, life must seem like drudgery. Which might help explain why their only joy is evangelism.

print at work:
lots of lectures at an economics school someplace, in glorious .pdf
Events transcripts




America has been polled, and Bush 's numbers are circling the drain.

I support her vagina.

fark sucks

Here on the cutting edge of everything, I, sole proprietor (and reader) of Double Flee A, have decided to terminate my approval of fark dot com. Fark has long been a good linkdump and occasionally a source of good headlines, but it's become an obnoxious chatroom full of brain-dead, right-wing sycophants, repetitious humor, and drinkin' buddy dumbness. Lol, not. So adios, fark, it was nice knowing you, until I grew up.

Also, the little URL problem appears to have been solved.

Am I the only one who can't access this site? I can update it, but when I go to look at it I get sent to blogger homepage. Strangely, I can reassign the URL and it works fine. I did that earlier to test it. Unfortunately, when I change the URL to "ddoublefleea.[etc.]" people will have trouble. So I'm leaving it and hoping blogger's just having one of its famous hiccups, which are really more like mortal fits of whooping cough.

Religious humor @ LOLJesus


Hedonistica: Roller Coaster



weird photo

I was on an elevator today with a Chinese guy who looked confused because he couldn't read English. I guess he was pretty disoriented. Speaking of the orient, the top selling cookbook in Korea is "101 ways to wok your dog". Which reminds me, two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank-proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

In the news, Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery. Corduroy pillows are also making headlines.

Laissez les bons temps rouler!

BBC - Languages - French - Homepage

a bunch of silly videos
may be NSFW

streaming video :: Index

cop photography
{GRAPHICJUNKIES} | Photos Page 1

Yahoo! News - Ratzinger was 'unwilling participant' in Hitler Youth

new punchlines to old jokes
Something Awful

Boing Boing: Berkeley laptop thief is scared out of his wits by professor

cole slaw, like revenge, is a dish best served cold

Today my watchmaking class had a picnic at lake Elmo park reserve east of Saint Paul. I ate too much and got sunburned. All in all, though, good time. Joe Juaire made steaks, which were excellent, and we discussed what to do in Switzerland. I think we all want to go to museums in Neuchatel and factories. Renaud-Papi, Rolex, of course, and maybe others. Before the picnic we shot guns at a range nearby. The AR-15 was my favorite. It's skeery-lookin'.

Looks like my brother will be coming up this summer, which is great.

JV moved in more of her stuff today, among it, all her movies. The fact that disney movies now occupy space in my living room is probably the biggest concession I have yet made in this relationship. But I will not freak out. I am a reasonable man, who can put up with this transgression against taste for the love of a good woman.

lies and stupidity about oil and the environment

Mike Crichton, right wing polymath, speaks about global waming. Who's next, LaHaye? some like it hot

And there's this: "ExxonMobil has pumped more than $8 million into more than 40 think tanks; media outlets; and consumer, religious, and even civil rights groups that preach skepticism about the oncoming climate catastrophe. Herewith, a representative overview..."
Put a Tiger In Your Think Tank

make your own ringtones


The New York Times > Books > Sunday Book Review > 'H. P. Lovecraft': Unnatural Selection


unprotected car dealership cam
AXIS Video Server

oh boy

See for yourself why the Washington Times is so well-respected.
Oil unlimited? - The Washington Times: Commentary - June 09, 2004

Definitive Penis Size Survey Results

letter to a neighbor

I slid the following letter under the offending door:


Hi, my name is * and I am unfortunately your neighbor. Last night you woke me up with all that noise. Between the breaking glass and/or dishes or whatever that was and then the getting yelled at by that drunk fat guy and his drunk weasel-looking friend, I’m guessing you were having a worse night than I was.

Then when I woke up this morning, I look and someone has obviously just stepped all over the Buick parked under your window, caved in its roof, and torn the screen from your window. That means either you’ve got some really good pussy in there or people just don’t know when to quit, or possibly both. I personally don’t care if you have the best pussy in the world; I don’t want to hear that kind of noise at half past three in the morning, ever again.

I should have called the cops and had them investigate that shit with your window, because you must now have the idea that a bunch of drunken wild cavemen and you doing whatever you want is ok. It isn’t. This isn’t some drunken camping trip, and it isn’t pretend world. It is my fucking neighborhood and if you want to remain in it, there are fucking rules.

If this continues, you will wish you had never heard of uptown. Consider your "get out of jail free" card used. I value sleep more than I value you, and the rest of the neighborhood and I have seen enough of you fucking white trash-ass people come and go from that apartment not to avoid calling the police on your in-bred asses.

Take care. Change locks. Change friends. Really. The ones you have are idiots. Get an attack dog, get some mace, and get a stun gun. Get a big rugby-playing boyfriend named Bubba who doesn’t take any shit. You and he can bludgeon those two guys to death and throw their bodies in the river. I don’t care. Just make the noise stop.


damn neighbors

At 3:24 this morning something made of glass broke outside, waking me up. Some drunk people were congregated on the porch of the apartment in the building next door which is most prone to habitation by obnoxious drunkards. These assholes are the ones that come and go every other year or so, and who mistakenly think that the world's purpose is for them to smash things against.

I debated buying a paintball gun. But seriously, what, besides having the cops on speed dial, can be done? I think I will try to manipulate the way the tenants feel by writing a letter making fun of how stupid it is to stay up all night "partying", although I don't like that the word party's viability as a verb, to an extent, culturally legitimizes it as a sort of means to an end, even if that end consists only of pissing off the neighbors. All I can really do is threaten them with cops. And call them names to let them know I'm serious. I'll tell them they're not the first people to get kicked out of that very apartment for doing that very thing.

And I'm calling the property manager and leaving a message.


The Artful Writer: The ZAZ Comedy Glossary

today in history

April 19 is usually a bad day in history.

1927 - Mae West gets 10 days in jail on obscenity charges for a play called "sex".

1933 - The dollar leaves the gold standard.

1943 - German troops go into the Warsaw ghetto to round up the remaining jews, starting the Warsaw ghetto uprising. The insurrection, of course, was crushed, by a group led by Jurgen Stroop, who was executed in 1952 in Poland, and the site was later used as a concentraion camp.

1961 - The bay of pigs invasion ends in failure.

1993 - Waco, Texas: after blasting bad music in a failed attempt to drive people crazy, the government drives tanks through David Koresh's cult headquarters, which burns to the ground, killing 81 people. Before killing everybody, the FBI played Nancy Sinatra music, Tibetan chants and the noises made by dying rabbits.

1995 - Oklahoma City: The Edward J. Murrah federal building is bombed, killing 168.

Eliot Ness
Jayne Mansfield
Tim Curry
Al Unser, Jr.
Kate Hudson

Today in 1882 Charles Darwin died. They buried him next to Isaac Newton because he was a complete fucking genius.


I have the entire series of the office. Not the shitty remake, the original british version. Copied it from C: over to E: for storage, and now the audio doesn't work any more. So I have to trash the entire thing. Fuck.

Not only that, but I broke that tool earlier, got trampled by a gang of snotty toddlers, and have found out my brother isn't doing an internship up here this summer, so my day is officially a piece of shit.

Other than my lovely fiancee, who is a dream.

The sooner I get to sleep the better.

ice skating rink?

I had a bad day at school. First I was trying to take a nap out in the sun and got attacked by at least ten two-to-three year olds all shouting about pennies and ants. Out of nowhere. I was just lying there, and far off, as if I was on a cloud and had an ear to a tunnel leading down to hell, through which I could hear a woman say:

"Where are you going to go?"
chorus of children: "THE GRASS!"
woman: "where are you NOT going to go?"
chorus of children: "THE ROAD!"
woman: "Where else are you NOT going to go?"
chorus of children: "OVER THERE!"
woman: "ok, GO!"

At this point I heard a stampede of tiny footsteps, getting closer, and the matriarchal voice again: "Don't bother anyone!" But it was too late. I was trampled by children. They got yelled at and went away again, one of them crying loudly. Like I had done something to him or her. They were gone and I was at peace again. It was like the time I was playing pool with some friends and a retarded guy groped the girl I was with and their little field trip got canned. True, the children might not be retarded, but they might as well be. Oh, sorry. Mentally handicapped.

Needless to say, this destroyed my remaining nappability and tolerance for our three-year-old friends, the awful miniature monster people, which was already in short supply. Imagine me having one of the heinous things. The horror.

Then I went back inside and broke one of these, which cost two grand new:
jacot tool.

The one I broke was only about a thousand bucks, though. They got it used. So there's that to be happy about.

It was a rotten day but now it's better. I'm with the woman I love and we're making jerk chicken and drinking beer. But try telling the jacot tool it's all better.

office art

shazam. blondes.
Kladblog web-extracter

Notes: Interesting Google Satellite Maps

hilarious | Photoshop contest

corporate takeover 5

useful for p2p?

RIAA Radar: Home

Wow. Pictures of Ann Coulter.

This is the internet, so people can look at attractive women whenever they want. Why they would want to see Ann Coulter beats me. Horse-face here, who is famous for not knowing what she's talking about, apparently wants to teach young girls how to be anorexic. Hooray! But to be fair, anyone who swallows the lies of this administation can't have much room left for nutrition.

TIME Magazine: Ann Coulter: Ms. Right

Ooh! That "right" play on words! Clever the first thousand times, but now, played out. Especially on Coulter, whose fanatic, rabid quotes nazis would love. Seriously, read them.

If you don't like the news, eliminate the news.
KR Washington Bureau | 04/15/2005 | Bush administration eliminating 19-year-old international terrorism report


The Academic JFK Assassination Site

print at school

The Second Oswald, by Richard H. Popkin

Thanks for the Memories
a flash movie about Saddam Hussein.

Delivery - a short movie by Till Nowak

Bumsford sent me this link per my begging for assistance. He didn't tell me where he got it, though. Thanks, bummaroonyoosky!

This is the one with the box, the flower, the factory, the spatula, or is it a trowel? It's called delivery.


Flash biology cell animation; this is what my brother is studying right now.
communicating at an unknown rate


RED MEAT . Meat Locker . busfare to nowhere

oh yeah

encrypted, private P2P, called grouper. Just combine this with i2hub and it's game over for RIAA and MPAA.
Testing Copyright Limits

via boing boing, an eleven hundred pound inflatable pool in the shape of the sinking titanic. Forget the tastelessness of this scene, when what we're talking about is an eleven hundred pound inflatable swimming toy. This is grotesquery of epic proportions. Un. be. lievable.
China Inflatables

in which I ask for help

I was trying to find a video last night and I couldn't do it. It's the animated one with the guy who gets a delivery and it's this box with the city outside, in it. He puts the factory in his flower bed, and a flower where the factory was. I want to see that video, so if you know where it is, please tell me. Extra points for how you found it, if you don't already know.

This movie was one of those movies that came from who-knows-where in my late childhood. The tape had part of D.A.R.Y.L. on it, but it ALSO had porn. It was from this channel called Triple XXXtasy, that had some damn 1-800 numbers going across the screen the whole time when you were trying to watch.

Memorable moments: there was a white guy with an afro dressed up like a preacher who was telling this lady she'd be forgiven if they did it. There was also a female threesome between a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead that would rend my aspirations of sexual adventurism asunder, subconsciously, for quite some time. How can you keep up with that kind of stuff? There were othe scenes too general to mention, but that DARYL tape was my first exposure to the physical realities involved in the favorite pastime of all living things, and if you said worshipping you were wrong, reproduction. People like to do it, record themselves doing it, and watch other people do it. It's what people like to do.

D.A.R.Y.L. became an inside joke between my brothers and I, which was cool.
D.A.R.Y.L. (1985)

a japanese guide to dating, sex, and love

Oh, how I wish we could just get over the safe for work/not safe for work bullshit. Slightly Not.


underground tokyo guidebook

underground tokyo guidebook -- Tokyo, underground, guide book, punk, hentai, shinjuku, harajuku, tourism, anime, hardcore, japan, akihabara


Apple - Trailers - A Scanner Darkly

nice videos

sputnik7 - Music Videos, Film, Full-Length Anime, & Free MP3 Downloads

lost and found

I couldn't find this, but Drew came over and now I know where it is again.
This is great great great.
Pleix films



hacking a gas pump - News - Thief Pumps $900 Worth Of Stolen Gasoline

I would never have thought of that. What a great idea.



I don't know about "wonderful", but he is in his own world.

repost - you're the man now dog!

GOP's Filibuster Strategy Could Backfire

Drew Barrymore

First of all, I didn't know google had movie reviews: Google Reviews: Fever Pitch (2005)

But mainly, I just saw this publicity photo and had to write something about it:

Isn't Drew just the best? She just keeps falling in love in the movies, over and over again, and each time, it's better than the last! She's such a hopeless romantic that her movie company is called something cute, too: flower films!

It's hard to pick a favorite time she fell in love, I mean, there are SO MANY to choose from, and they're all so good! I especially loved in fifty first dates when she looks at Adam Sandler and says, with her voice all trembly: "I am so in love with you!" Wait. That was the other movie where she falls in love with Adam Sandler. But still, there was a lump in my throat that it took longer to swallow than a gob of really thick snot that you know is all green and makes you want to vomit. Drew, shut up and DIE FUCKING BITCH DIE DIE!!!!

ABC News: Official Mourning Period for Pope Ends

Sweet, we can resume papal wackitude!

tsk, tsk

You're making too much chili when a finger shows up in it, and you can't figure out whose it is.

Food should be made bya human being and for a human being. The process has become too robotic when a finger shows up in the chili and nobody claims it. Wendy's is offering 100,000 bucks to the person whose finger they found.

i want it

Internet2 is higher-tech version of regular Internet

Mr. Sun!: Drugs of abuse.
In which a DEA calendar makes the author want to do drugs.

A celebration of non-penetration!

abstinence only dot com

Wired News: Surprises Lurk in Satellite Snaps

James Wolcott breaks down neocon sexual angst

James Wolcott: On Some Sad Laps, No Heads Bob

Intolerable Beauty — Portraits of American Mass Consumption

Part Whale, Part Dolphin, Baby Wholphin Born In Captivity

NPR is having an essay-submission thing. It's called NPR : This I Believe, and it has rules.
1. Please limit your essay to less than 500 words.
2. Describe an event that shaped your beliefs or a person who inspired them.
3. Avoid sermons and editorials -- no soapbox declamations, please!
4. Read more of our essay-writing tips.

The tips are stuff like "make it conversational since it's for radio", and "use affirmatives instead of negatives".
I am intrigued, and I wondered what I would write if I only had 500 words to do it in.

If any of you has done this, drop me an email.


No! Really?

The New York Times > Washington > Frist Set to Use Religious Stage on Judicial Issue:
"As the Senate heads toward a showdown over the rules governing judicial confirmations, Senator Bill Frist, the majority leader, has agreed to join a handful of prominent Christian conservatives in a telecast portraying Democrats as "against people of faith" for blocking President Bush's nominees."

I'm against faith, Bill Frist, and I ain't a democrat. I just hate conservative christianism for its hypocrisy. REmember this guy you're supposed to worship? Jesus? To quote a friend's t-shirt: so many conservative chritians, so few lions.

Once we understand how the brain works, we aren't going to have to dick around with faith any more at all, much less actually accept something as primitive as biblical literalism. Unless biblical literalists destoy the world before that happens.

Frist. Sucks.

You have to love the do-gooders. They catalog the worst of the week, ostensibly so that you can watch it and shake your head at how naughty it is, and then compose a message to the people that corrupt youth, or whatever similar complaint you might have. It's the funniest thing since christian movie reviews.
Parents' television council presents:
Worst TV Clips of the Week

evil clown generator

find out about people

This thing's kind of scary. You'll feel like the CIA when you use it. Free People Search

I heart elise!


Sometimes you can just lose yourself in an image.
That's what I'm talking about.
Thanks, internet.

what does that say?


In our brave new world where the truth doesn't matter and the "news" has become an orgy of senseless talking points, what difference does it make that some medical journal called the lancet says lethal injections are totally fucking cruel and horrible way to die because of inadequate anesthesia? I mean, all that has to happen to discredit the research in the public consciousness of suburbia is for Sean Hannity to have a fake expert on his show that says "nu-unh!" and it's brushed aside. What's the sensationalism in a story where the person suffering is getting the death penalty, and not a photogenic pregnant lady, or a vegetable, or anyone else who's a white female? That's what the public consciousness is worth. It's really just a cycle of selective amnesia. --The yawning chasm called America's intellectual heritage scratches itself and rolls over--

Anyway, Lethal Injections Called Flawed (


print at work:
About Deindividuation Theory, a social psychological account of the individual in the crowd and an attempt to explain anti-normative collective action

Entropy, disorder, and life


You can make them here:
Electronic Confession to Sister Mary de las Rosas

But it's more fun when you make them here, where you can read everybody else's:

Of course, it shouldn't be ruled out to wear t-shirts with facts on them, which, in a way, is a confession by you, of some of society's greatest failures:
fact shirt

people are pathetic

They write "secrets" on postcards and send them to these guys, who scan them and put them on their webpage. But before you visit, think about what you're likely to see. If you said drippy, whining self-pity, you're right!

This reminds me of when I discovered in ninth grade that in order to get an A for writing a poem, all I had to do was make it as gay as possible. No poetry teacher can resist lavishing accolades on a gay-ass, faux-introspective poem about meaningfulness and the poet's tortured sentimentality.


USGS map of seismic likelihood

USGS National Seismic Hazard Mapping Project - US map graphic

ah, the fifties

The sexual objectification was total in those days.

cool pressure-sensitive light product

MXR Lab_Research_Videos


Google Video (Beta) - Video Upload Program

I am a star

Someone was shooting a commercial tonight for something called "plato's closet" tonight down in front of the movie theater at St. Anthony. My friend bet me ten bucks I wouldn't go get in the middle of the scene with all the extras. He lost. So it may be that when a plato's closet ad airs, I will be in it. Yay.

The ad was dumb, and it worked like this. All these extras were just standing there waiting for some bimbo to pop out of a limo, and when she did, they all tried to get her attention. So I'm there, too, trying to get her attention. I'll be the sarcastic-looking one in the black shirt between two women. Hopefully they'll air it and I'll be able to sue them for using my image without my permission. I mean, I could just tell the judge in the case I didn't know who it was getting out of the limo and I got kind of caught up in the moment. Then next thing you know it turns out to be fake, and I get exploited. Imagine my disappointment when I found out that it wasn't a real celebrity, but a fake one! I was clearly cheated and deserve big bucks. Whimper-hoo.

Later my friend and I rolled by blasting ice, ice, baby. We stopped for a minute for the full effect to sink in. The extras loved it.


So this is how people find me:
Google Search: jail prison babydoll handcuffs shackles

Justice Scalia: do you sodomize your wife?

Thanks, free speech!
New York Post Online Edition:


Radio Host Fired For Wondering If Pope Went To Heaven

There was obviously a little more than wondering going on here. Thanks, god, for making your followers so open-minded.

bovine fistulation

A Cow with a Window?


winding stem exam

Out of 6, I got 5.07. Granted, that's only the preliminary score --they still have to go to Switzerland for the final, authoritative examination-- but no way will that score drop below 4, which is passing. And passing the test is all that matters. I stopped caring what I got about two weeks ago. Too many winding stems will do that to a person.

So no school tomorrow! And my bike is finished down at the bike place, so I'm going to go pick that up now. Frisbee golf later, and after that out at a newly smoke-free bar somewhere.

so that's why I was ignored

study finds attractive children get more attention.

I passed 12,000 visitors

That, and here's a nice, big post that could keep a person busy all afternoon, about peak oil from boing boing:

Mark Frauenfelder with a post about peak oil.

cool art!

David Shrigley List Of Photographs Free phone software

Secret service scares artist.

Well, the art really isn't all that good, except for how the gestapo might come take you away. Put a dog and some sex toys in there, though, and you've got art.

stolen from mefi

I was going to post that you should listen to last week's episode of This American Life on Monday but I was too lazy and they beat me to it. It was the kind of show TAL always wants to be but usually isn't, a combination of semi-riveting entertainment and good journalism. Verbatim:
We've talked about these folks before. However I don't think any of us realized exactly how much influence we had on the story by helping it spread so fast. This American Life covers the group, and our part in help spreading the news about the Best.Gig.Ever. Real Audio link to the TAL show

Is the guy running this improv everywhere group in New York a total sociopath?


JV just discovered I get free able-cay. Awesome. The gift that Newman gave years ago, continues to give.

Thanks, brother Noomsie.


lots of prints at work

The Nation | Bio | Michael T. Klare

Oil and the Coming War With Iran

I'm #1! Yay?

Google Search: Tony Robbins soundboard


Program for Escaped Extra People


better not dowload one of these wallpapers if you want to get anything done. not safe for work.
Unknown Babes wallpapers and high resolution pictures

ufo dude!

following the pope!

On the way back from school in Saint Paul, Vasko trucking and waste disposal's truck was throwing rocks all over the highway and one the size of a golf ball nailed my windshield. So I called the company and the guy who picked up the phone said it was his brother that I should call and he gave me his number. Then JV said I should call the cops or somebody instead of the company, so I did. They gave me the number of the highway patrol, who I then called, only to get a message:
We're closed. Our office hours are eight to four thirty, monday through friday.

It's ten after four, on Wednesday. Asses.

I called the company, and told them what happened. They're going to buy me a new windshield. Not. They told me tough shit.

It's not cracked, just very chipped, but it's the principle here. You don't see me lobbing rocks the size of golf balls out of my car. Asses. The lady in response to this said there's nothing I can do about it, but goddamn it if that truck wasn't endangering people and shit. Goddamn highway patrol government employees lazy asses, can't be bothered to work all eight hours or anything. Fucking shitheads.

May 27 all who can should come to Elko speedway with me. My friend John is racing his sick-ass BMW in the spectator races. There's a guy in a souped plymouth laser that's really fast, but John's car has to be faster. If he doesn't run it into a wall or something, he should kill everybody. His M3 has a supercharger and all kinds of shit done to it. It's the only car I've ever been in that can go from seventy to 120 faster than most cars go from zero to seventy. Vroom.

Grammar note: numbers under 100 are spelled out. I don't remember where that comes from, but we've got to have standards, unlike these people, at, and yes, it's back:


Which is a great, great site.

betty decides

The Happiest Place on Earth

Our Orlando Vacation: Day 3 "The Happiest Place on Earth" - a photoset on Flickr
"We went to Disneyworld today and it's supposedly the happiest place on eartth, it looked more like people were in hell."

six year old black belt

Dude, I don't care if he's a black belt. He's fucking six. I kind of want to kick this kid's ass just because.

god damn winding stems

I blew it. But so did everyone else. The steel has a property we didn't know about, or want to believe. The soft sandvik steel stretches out when we subject it to our ancient threading die. The die (the one remaining die out of I think four that doesn't destroy our pieces, they don't even make them any more) squeezes it and it stretches the threaded portion by, let me do the math, 2.3%. That ruins the shit out of the piece. So now we have to just cut the piece short and hope like hell that when it comes time to thread, it stretches to the right length. Like hardening, we have to just pray it works, which, for someone who understands well the effect of prayer on steel and everything else, empty set, is aggravating. This method of making stems is the equivalent of a Harley-Davidson, only worse; instead of spending money on the best 1950s motorcycle technology money can buy, we've regressed to the twenties.

Good News On Hardening: I have found that by heating the piece slowly, it warps less. This is the best news since Poland decided to get its troops out of Iraq.

As a result of the delirium/fatigue induced by this examination, I have resorted to involuntary singing in the late afternoons. People think I do it to entertain them, but it's automatic. I didn't know I was going to sing it, but I sang to the famous tune by the kinks: "So tired, tired of making, tired of making steeeeeeems." This got a chuckle, but I wasn't done.

To the tune of "wishin' and hopin'":

All you gotta do is measure, and polish, and harden, and temper, just suffer, and file, and cut, and threaaaad", and the class liked that, too. I like when people like me, I won't lie. And by four o'clock, we've all had enough for one day.

Back again. To stems. Until I'm finished. [Thousand yard stare.]

Ifilm is a pain in the butt. If you're willing to put up with it, Mr. T raps about his momma.
IFILM - Viral Videos: Mr. T's Rap Song

You know what? Nevermind. Ifilm is too much of a pain in the ass. I'm sick of it. No more Ifilm. Unless it's to watch the star wars christmas special with Chewbacca's wife. That is the only thing I will suffer for.

the most amazing golf shot ever?

Tiger woods on the 16th hole. It looks like a commercial, but it's real.

National Day of Reason: Home Page

"Many who value the separation of church and state have sought an appropriate response to the federally-funded National Day of Prayer, an annual abuse of the constitution. Nontheistic Americans (including freethinkers, humanists, atheists and agnostics), along with many traditionally religious allies, view such government-sanctioned sectarianism as unduly exclusionary."

3 of them together

eBay item 7314702458 (Ends Apr-17-05 17:19:16 PDT) - LOT 4 AH FIRE KING MUGS BURGER QUEEN DRUTHERS McDONALDS

Tom Delay

The Onion | What Do You Think?


U.S. Military Deaths in Iraq

A Daily Look at U.S. Military Deaths in Iraq - from

Rhetoric - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

good article
Google Maps and Accountability

I dreamed of Las Vegas. How I wish I was there instead of taking a test to see how many clean features I can put onto two centimeters of steel. I also dreamed of the guy who used to do centanarians' birthdays on some famous morning show, I forget his name. I'd rather be drinking mimosas with that guy than taking a test today, too. I dreamed I was the recipient of multiple blowjobs, which I would also rather be getting than taking a test today.

Went to bed very early last night on account of being so dizzy/tired. Mentally very sluggish. I thought it was writer's block, as I was planning on writing something and then couldn't come up with anything. So then I thought I'd write about writer's block but I got too sleepy.

Hypochondria is contagious. I must have got it from somebody, because now I'm always afraid I've got BSE. When I can't think of something I blame mad cow disease. This is handy for any time I want to feel sorry for myself, or panic, or space out and not pay attention. Mad cow disease is the best thing to ever happen to me. Sometimes I try to imagine what it's like and imagine a thin white cloud passing through my brain, in a random pattern like the specks of flour that happen to drop through a sifter over any given hundredth of a second, erasing my brain tiny piece by piece. If I live long enough, I'll have Parkinson's to look forward too, instead. Different means, same end. Whoopee. I'm starting to think I should just shut up and go deal with my day.

Later I'll be swinging by muddy's house and then to go buy a bicycle from the editor of a prominent publication. It just happened that way. The bicycle is for the drunken bar tour next month by the same group that did one last (august?) year. I worry about the weather on this one not being quite as perfect as I'd like for this kind of event. Rather than volunteer to cover this event for the publication, I'm going to invite the guy to come with and do it himself. It would be nice to have a drinking buddy who's such a veteran writer. Also, let's face it, I'm not the caliber writer I sometimes like to think I am. But maybe that's the BSE talking.

Every day, I have a secret system I've never talked about here. I have never talked about it because I've thought it would make a good mechanism for a short book, but today is about crushing illusions. Every day, I think, is a long time. Maybe even long enough for the imagination to create more than some musicians create in a career. In turn, every day for me is a musical career. A new chance. I think music secretly runs in my family. Every day, I think: "If this day were a band, what would the name of it be?", then I repeat that for album and song. But I do this backwards. If I stub my toe on something, it's a song, probably, called "the land of the nearly broken toe", and then I can embellish it with a lyrical flourish after the bridge like: "AND IT HUUUUURT, so fuckin' bad! That the WORLD! STOPPED! TURNIN!" and so on. If it was something worse, like a parking ticket, that becomes an album. This is for the ability to make so many ideas build on top of it. There's the mood of denial, then anger, then acceptance, that all require their own songs, see? The name of the band usually can't develop until I've seen what kind of day it's been, with an exception. My more manic angels can decide what kind of albums the day is going to produce before I even walk out the door, like today. You may have noticed that I don't like to talk about things as they happen as much as after they do, and that's partly to protect the secret musical part of myself, that is still transposing the way I feel about the events into adequate music. I have decided what this day is going to be like. But I can't tell you right now. This is one major key, riff-lovin' sweet rock band whose lead singer might develop a nasty junk habit and instead of burning out, embark on a heinous folk music career. You just never know.

Have a great day.



Candidates Who May Soon be Elected Pope


Unintentionally sexual comic book covers: Part 1.

The New York Times > Washington > G.O.P. Consultant Weds His Male Partner

cool, useless toy

Google Talk

Exodus: Proclaiming Freedom from Homosexuality

something awful v the ultimate warrior

This is great. Somethingawful revealed the racism of Mr. Warrior and Mr. Warrior's people, who are a bunch of idiots, threatened legal action. A taste:

it is our position that you are taking the liberal position - claiming First Amendment protection for something that clearly goes beyond the scope of protected speech as envisioned by the Founding Fathers. The First Amendment should not and cannot be construed to defend violation of others' intellectual property rights or to libel them (which is the case here) or to offend others' sense of morality (which is the case with pornography, etc.).

The story


I is askeered.

The google search field on the computer when I sat down here was "nazi lowriders".

School is going fine today. People are pretty nervous for the exam tomorrow.

The girl newxt to me in the cpu lab is writing a letter, and she spelled the word trouble "trubble". Stanford it ain't. Oh my. She's done it again. I'd better close this out before she reads over my shoulder and gets angry.

Eric Rudolph

ABC News: Rudolph Plea May Unveil Assistants

what an ass

ABC News: DeLay Draws Fire From Fellow Republicans

Vermont: A new state fund designed to help crime victims recover financial losses more quickly has paid thousands of dollars to unexpected recipients -- big businesses including Wal-Mart, Rite Aid and Banknorth.
Burlington Free Press - Top Stories

622 Music Videos


Somebody's music folder. I've heard worse.
network23 - mp3 index

ocean photography
Explore the Abyss

i want one

Froogle Search: chicken costume

how to cut a stencil

Children's Media Project

"You have to ask yourself, is it the graffiti that is the vandalism - or the concrete it is painted on?"

German museum curator

disposable email system

movie file of an octopus

cool toy

the thing that plays is something I made. you should be able to navigate the page without me spelling it out. artPad

I heard this interview in the car. The guy (Bernard Henri Levy) is a trip. If you get the chance to see or hear him speak, I recommend you do it.
NPR : Essayist Follows in Tocqueville's Footsteps

my afternoon email

TO: [management]
RE: pyxis information

By now you must be aware that on Sunday ALL the power went out for fifteen seconds. Then emergency power came back on. It was part of some kind of fire issue, I think. The pharmacy is downright peaceful in the total dark, after all the fans stop spinning.

The outage destroyed some kind of main switch on a communication hub someplace which killed our interface between worx and pyxis, and kept all our computers and printers offline for about an hour. Following this, the pyxis procar resumed its normal communication and bled off the messages that had built up.

During this time, Terry (sp?) from pyxis worldwide decided to go in and erase over 16,000 messages (really) that had been built up on 4E over the last months, that might have been inhibiting traffic on the system. Whether this was necessary is not my place to judge, but in any case, my understanding is that the (now) missing messages are now at worldwide, and worldwide will eventually have to do the brain transplant* for us to get the messages where they're supposed to be. Interestingly, about a month ago I removed a duffel bag full of narcs from 4E as part of a "let's try not to let any more of the drugs in that machine go to waste than absolutely necessary" project for Barb, and I think our helpful narc department will be wanting those messages at some point. Also, medstation UPACU isn't communicating, but everything else is fine.

The guy in front of you in traffic is a jerk. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. You win some, you lose some. The minute you open that emailed movie "Girl and Horse," the elderly temp secretary filling in for yours will come into your office to ask you a question. The "Peanuts" comic strip and cartoons were grossly overrated. Communication switches fry. That's just the way things are, and we can't change them. A problem that surfaced that we CAN do something about is this: The pyxis console isn't plugged into the hospital's emergency power supply, which creates problems. It greatly behoves us to contemplate making this happen it so that when the power goes dead, the console does not.

*Part of any successful consultant's job is making it sound more difficult than it really is. Calling a rain cloud "nimbostratus", for example, is a meteorologist's way of intimidating the citizens of the cow states into thinking he's indispensable. When the pyxis company calls this incredibly simple task a "brain transplant", what you're seeing is the quintessential example of this phenomenon.

Thanks and have a great week,



I'm stuck on PCU 7B in the hospital right now. They won't let me leave, because of a fire situation downstairs. The whole place is locked down, so to speak. They let me in because I had a stat dose for one of the patients, but now they won't let me out. I guess all the other patients who need stat doses can just piss off. The only reason I had to deliver the dose is because the pneumatic tube system is down, which was caused by a system-wide power outage, which lasted about ten seconds. This cascade of problems has me stuck in here. I could bust through, sure, and escape, but I might hurt someone and/or get fined in the process. If I thought it was my skin at stake, I'd abandon nicety and leave, but for now, this amounts to a paid break, so heck with it. There is no window on this unit that I could jump out of and live, we're much too high up, so that makes me a little nervous. I'd be that guy on the news who jumped out the window and died rather than suffocate, and then that picture of me twirling to my death would be posted by some asshole on some newsgroup with the caption: "Hey! That guy owes me five bucks!"

Last night I went bowling with JV and a friend who got his eyes zapped by a laser beam, and can now see much better. It would have been cooler if he had got it so his eyes could actually shoot the laser beams, but I didn't want to tell him that, because it might hurt his feelers. He's a sensitive guy.

Tonight I'm staying till nine PM. I need the money.

Tomorrow a last day of practice and then Tuesday an exam. Making winding stems will soon be an ugly memory instead of an ugly daily reality. Halle-frickin-lujah.

dictator fashion show!

via the very talented Mack White:

This is the first time in U.S. history that a president has chosen to wear a uniform while in office. Eisenhower did not wear one, nor did Grant. When those men assumed the office of Commander in Chief, they ceased to be generals, and thenceforth wore civilian clothes, as befits the leaders of a free country. Only where people are not free, only in dictatorships, do leaders wear uniforms.

But now, at last, it has happened in America.

This should not surprise us. On at least three separate occasions, Bush expressed his desire to be a dictator:...

Charles Nelson Reilly

Image hosted by


I'm not going to read this page, but you can if you want. Once I saw this, I decided not to go further:
"The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy movie is bad. Really bad. You just won't believe how vastly, staggeringly, jaw-droppingly bad it is. I mean, you might think that The Phantom Menace was a hopelessly misguided attempt to reinvent a much-loved franchise by people who, though well-intentioned, completely failed to understand what made the original popular - but that's just peanuts to the Hitchhiker's movie. Listen."

Short film review

frickin' sweet

HOW-TO: Make your own annotated multimedia Google map - Engadget -

Someone ought to have a contest to see who can create the coolest one of these. That craigslist apartment finder is awesome.

um, yeah

Comparative Mammalian Brain Collections: List of Specimens

annoying banner ad

This stupid banner was on a page I was visiting. Don't worry, clicking on it won't take you anywhere.

Can you imagine being tired of your cursor? Sometimes my cursor is the only un-annoying thing on the entire screen. If I didn't have it to look at, my head would asplode. And the options they provide, well, imagine moving your wacky piece of candy corn into position wo click on an email from work. It makes me want to throw up. But maybe I'm oversensitive.
This is what I want my cursor to look like, which it does:

Everybody knows that smoke is the most important part of an electrical device. I know this because every time I let the smoke out of one, it doesn't work any longer. - somebody

a postcard from cartoon world

(is this safe for work? I don't think so, but it's close)

creative commons search, for information that's actually free
Yahoo! Search - Web Search


weren't you a little curious?

Google Maps - area 51

Actually, this is it.


The car that wasn't.

from 1800 BC

It's the oldest NSFW ever:
Terracotta plaque with an erotic scene

the guardian says it's older than that.

google maps meets craiglslist:

I don't know how this works, but I bet we'll see a lot more of it very soon.

today's religion post

I really should cut back, but I can allow myself one a day. Ladies and gentlemen, I present the enemy, whose ignorance should never be underestimated.

Evolution, a Fairytale for Grownups!

DARWINISM-WATCH. com - Responding to Evolutionist Propaganda in the Media

Here's the propaganda they're talking about:
New Scientist - Life's top 10 greatest inventions

Free Online Wine Course :

roommate wanted

The person he's describing is barely human, which I think suits a plastic surgeon.
Two bedroom share

Mitch Albom

MITCH ALBOM: I owe you an apology for Sunday's column: Here it is

Just one look at the sad wanker's publicity photo and my heart is filled with forgiveness for what the press called an "egregious ethical lapse":

But seriously, here's why Neal and I don't like the Mitchster.

And just to round out the subject, here's an article by Mitch, about what happens to people who make shit up:MITCH ALBOM: Jayson Blair failed truth and himself

Research News: Fossil Records Show Biodiversity Comes and Goes

According to this, it's pretty much a sure thing (above 99 per cent) that mass extinctions come, for some unknown reason, every 62 million years or so.
Heres a graph:

But who needs evidence? Intuition tells you, after seeing a picture of the two guys who made this discovery, that it's high time for another mass exctinction.

Oh yeah, and chunk from the goonies.


Deroy the clown

Google Search: 931 484 8484


This realaudio clip was loaded at this computer when I sat down. Always ready for new things, I listened to it. It's not really worth listing here, but I am anyway, because blogging is a compulsion. A guy just wasn't watching where he was going and he ran right into a magazine rack with his face. That was hilarious. He just shook his head and left. There aren't many people in here today. Tonight JV is making chili, which should be fabulous, as was the parmesan chicken she made last night. She also picked up her wedding ring yesterday, so now we both have ours. Did I mention I bought one? I don't think so. It's white gold and it should work just fine to fend off hot chicks who want to do me. "Why would I need life insurance? Are you planning to kill me?" -- betty butterfield

The guy next to me is surfing some matchmaking website. The girls he's looking at are way out of his league. I am the only "white" guy in the library. I count a total of 15 people. Now the matchmaking guy is taking some IQ test.

I'm getting out of here. This is stupid.

learn a word today

Schmutz - Wiktionary

Thanks to Matt Carlson, celebrity uptownie, filmmaker in training.

proud of turin


::: Buffo The World's Strongest Clown! :::

Everything Fred Astaire did, Ginger Rogers did backwards in heels. Iranian women cops do cop stuff while wearing curtains.

Dog Condoms - Canine Birth Control - Has Cookie Monster given up sweets? - Apr 7, 2005


I guess he's hungry


The worst patriotic video you will see today.
America We Stand As One

If you were debating clicking on this, I just want to assure you that it's truly extremely bad. It doesn't mes around being sort of OK in any way at all.

big 'uns

Lots of 'em.
not safe for work

If you try to pay in $2 bills at best buy, you could get arrested.

you will laugh

shaken faces


betty butterfield slays me.


top 25 moments from sesame street

Google Search:

tv torrents @ EFnet - Courtroom Sketch of my testimony at Michael Jackson Trial

Peak Oil: Life After the Oil Crash

block game from the sect of homokaasu


Yahoo! News - Florida eyes allowing residents to open fire whenever they see threat

There should be a southern version of Yahoo! Called Yee-Haw!, which returns primarily southern webpages.

14 defining characteristics of fascism

flash movie


things I learned by watching TV

I just sat down on the couch and watched TV for half an hour with JV, and GET THIS:

Thirty-two point eight MILLION people voted for American Idol last night. Holy shit.

The preview for hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy has the excellent lemon jelly song "come down on me" playing during it, which makes me freak out with enthusiasm. And, I for one, could always use more of that. When I stop and think about it, this is probably a yearly cycle. Breaking out of winter is refreshing. I feel the upcoming movie is more promising than ever, because the people doing it have the good sense to know a great song when they hear it.

guess the party

It's either a democrat or a republican, who wants to make braodcast indecency a criminal offense. Give up?

Dick fuckin' Cheney and George "the finger" Bush aren't representative of their entire party, mind you. Otherwise it would be hypocritical for a republican to suggest that certain gestures are "bad".

Who is it that is hurt by bad language?