I just heard a song on the obnoxious corporate hip-hop station in which some guy was talking about getting this party started. I have heard many songs for many years saying the same thing, let's get this party started.

If after twenty years of trying to get the party started, the party still ain't started, maybe the stupid thing just isn't getting started. Now find something else to make your shitty, stupid music about.

The Diebold GEMS central tabulator contains a stunning security hole

USATODAY.com - The GOP doesn't reflect America

via marshall via boing boing, Hastert accuses Soros of being a drug lord. The Washington Monthly

"You know, I don't know where George Soros gets his money. I don't know where — if it comes overseas or from drug groups or where it comes from," Hastert mused. An astonished Chris Wallace asked: "Excuse me?" The Speaker went on: "Well, that's what he's been for a number years — George Soros has been for legalizing drugs in this country. So, I mean, he's got a lot of ancillary interests out there." Wallace: "You think he may be getting money from the drug cartel?" Hastert: "I'm saying I don't know where groups - could be people who support this type of thing. I'm saying we don't know."

Exploring Emergence

U.S. Rep. Schrock drops re-election bid over ''allegations'' (HamptonRoads.com/Pilot Online)

Schrock, co-sponsor of the federal marriage amendment, got outed in this blog. Allegations are, he's as gay as a whistle. One less republican hypocrite.

Now, from the old emailbag, it's time for Dear Dale:

Don't you think the pledge of allegiance is pretty creepy? Sure, I'm as patriotic as the next guy, but I find any kind of monotone chant dedicated to the steadfast support of anything sort of culty. What do you say, Dale?

Cornelius Cosgrove

Cornelius, when you have to take a shit real bad, do you proclaim that you have to do so? No. You clench and hustle. It's not important to talk about it, just get this need met so you can move on. Same thing with loving America, right? For some reason, no. I don't understand it. If you get a yellow ribbon magnetic sticker on your car that says "Support our troops", it's not a sticker that says "I support our troops", it's an order, and not even an order to Do anything, just to Feel a certain way. Just like the war on terror, in which we are constantly terrorized by our own government. Feel simultaneously, vigorously afraid and brave, America, because it's not patriotic if you don't? Fuck that. The only thing scarier than somebody trying to get people to feel a certain way is when the morons actually do it. Anyone who doesn't see parallels, plenty that have emerged during this administration, between the dystopia in Orwell's 1984 and our own, here and now, ought to exercise their shiny new library card. It's free. There's really no excuse. If things that are public really make you puke, then go buy it and you can not only read it but pride yourself on your iron will to avoid all things civic.

Let's put this "pledging" into persepctive. If you love the lord so much that you can't think of anything to say, there are words for that purpose. Hallelujah is one, and another is Amen. You can hear these for yourself at baptist churches. It's worrisome that someone could allow themselves to be brought to the point of emotional hysteria over some words, but that's how orators of all stripes take advantage of susceptible people. Susceptible people are the ones, who, at one time, said, for a lack of other words powerful enough to describe the way they felt, "Sig Heil". Powerful nationalistic feelings can sometimes be a bad thing. I'd say that powerful feelings are a bad thing in general. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person in America who asks himself in times of struggle: How did you get so worked up and how can that be avoided?

Some people just don't get it and don't want to, that it is their duty to use the matter between their ears to think critically about EVERYthing, and base their decisions on the outcome of their careful considerations. Unfortunately, careful considerations have largely been supplanted by media outlets with painfully obvious political agendas. When I was eighteen I swallowed whatever came along, but it eventually gave me indigestion and I had to think about some things: Why is it that Jesus's people are always trying to motivate me with shame and guilt?... Why isn't anybody overthrowing this unelected president?... Who does Donald Rumsfeld think he's fooling, and wait a minute, is it working?...Who's making money off of this war?...How long has this been going on? It wasn't pleasant to actually think about this. Many of my mornings were a scene of despair. Nicotine helped.

A wiser man than me once said the republicans love the country the way a four-year old loves her mommy, and the goal should be to love it the way one loves one's spouse. You're better off actually thinking about things instead of freaking out; those aren't screams of agony after the lights go out, at least not always. It's very simple: asking questions before acting would have saved us from a stupid, meaningless war, and it didn't happen, because America and god have come to mean very close to the same thing. America has been branded the way that the democratic party has, by the same people, the result being it's an emotional response they elicit, not one that inspires vigorous debate. The mention of a belief in god normally signals the end of rigorous analysis and the beginning of a happy brain fog. "Love" has been shown to disconnect neural networks associated with critical thought. Does that surprise any-fucking-body?

Then there's the god addition, which I was obviously going to pounce on, Cornelius. To quote a post I made last December, Dwight Eisenhower approved adding the words "under god" to the pledge of allegiance in 1954. As he did this he said: "In this way we are reaffirming the transcendence of religious faith in America's heritage and future; in this way we shall constantly strengthen those spiritual weapons which forever will be our country's most powerful resource in peace and war." In other words, blah blah blah it just sounds more powerful and nitty-gritty, it's more emotionally evocative with god thrown in there even though to say there is a god is to imply there is such a thing as a state-approved religion, which goes against the whole concept of freedom of religion. Hem and haw all day, you can't come up with ONE original or persuasive argument to suggest there is a big, lovin', Werther's original distributin' grandaddy up in outer space that knows if you've been bad or good. Get the fuck over it and get the word god out of the pledge and I'll consider saying it again. Or don't, and delude yourself into thinking that there is some mighty prophecy and there's going to be hell to pay when you-know-who flies down on a broomstick or whatever superstition you prefer. You can make yourself feel really awed and scared by the stories of god's power, but it's still you making you feel that way, not actually god.

The America I love is shrinking, being replaced by something calling itself America that looks out only for profitability. America is dying and no amount of pledges of allegiance, no matter how loudly they're shouted, are going to affect any positive change. It was too much praise and hubris that got us where we are to begin with, and let me tell you where we are. For the first time we're getting less foreign investment than China, with dismal job growth and economic forecasts straight out of Dickens, in the middle of a war with no justification (outside a bunch of riled up people who wanted somebody to pay for hurting mommy, nevermind who) nor foreseeable end, and which we cannot afford to sustain. Do I love America less than the people who send our young men and women over to Iraq to die for no reason outside the president's arrogance? No.

Let's go with a republican public relations issue: individual responsibility.The ones who fucked it up should take care of it. You want the war, YOU pay for it.

I don't care for the pledge of allegiance either. It is creepy and there's a lot of psychology involved that someone understands very well, that most people don't. You'll be able to figure it out, Corn.

TheCarolinaChannel.com - News - Vandals Damage Asheville Wal-Mart Construction Site, obviously hate America.


Today's fucking idiotic bullshit made-up homeland security threat terrorization:
CNN.com - VA hospitals may be target, advisory warns - Aug 27, 2004

Tom Ridge is a terrorist.
George Bush is a terrorist.
And they're worse than the crazy allah-shoutin' towelheads who are brave enough to lose their lives to prove a point, because they're cowards.

Be afraid, America. Be afraid of bullshit terror alerts for the rest of your lives.

Current Electoral Vote Predictor 2004

I just heard Bush say he doesn't think you can win the war on terror on the radio. No shit!
We've got Cheney saying he doesn't support the hate amendment for gay civil unions, Bush saying Kerry was more heroic, and now this.

The Loom: Adam and His Eves:
"Marriage, we're told by the president and a lot of other people, can only be between one man and one woman. Anything else would go against thousands of years of tradition and nature itself. If the president's DNA could talk, I think it might disagree."


Hepcats, Newman, and any other linux people,
GmailFS - Gmail Filesystem: "GmailFS provides a mountable Linux filesystem which uses your Gmail account as its storage medium."

Boing Boing: Justice Dept censors Supreme Court ruling
Same story:

American Civil Liberties Union : Government Gag Exposed

Give that broadband a workout and stream some RNC video from C-SPAN.

Is that a protest or did everyone in New York's house burn down? Awesome.

I went to the fair on Friday and Saturday. Saturday I got just the one picture, which is below. Friday I got more...

Here's a guy working at the "B96" booth. I bet his parents are proud of his cool haircut and his vocation, selling "fly booty shorts".

We saw a black republican!

They were carving butter scupltures of the pageant winners for "princess kay of the milky way", which is put on by the dairy business every year. It's forty-five degrees in that booth.

There was a christian radio station with a booth there. The guy in the blue shirt is asking the other guy if he thinks he deserves to go to heaven. He's saying that "god knows what you're thinking about." He's making the other guy feel really bad about himself, and that's because the other guy is stupid enough to care about this horseshit. If you can't make it out, that shirt says "Have you ever told a lie?" Nice one. What an asshole. I restrained myself from helping everyone, because I'm afraid I could make a crowd of people that dumb tear me to shreds if I tried.

You could get your picture inside a frame on a piece of cloth. Here's an example. Bling indeed.

After that the lovely Joyce and I went out to an island in the Mississippi for a movie on a projector. It was a great time, and a perfect night out with the river draining past and not a car in sight or earshot. I have pictures but they're huge. The feature was "Island of lost women", and I have to congratulate our host Phil for his choice. The film was that rare combination of kid-safety yet non-stupid, kitschy but not schlocky.

scary Dollies ! !

86 the onions

At the state fair the camera phone came in handy for some undercover work:

My friend John said that if I put that up here he'd give me a dollar. Just to prove it, here's a picture of the dollar:

CNN.com - Longtime customers wed at Wal-Mart - Aug 23, 2004: how sweet.

Insanity. You're going to wish you'd muted this, but you've just got to hear the craziness yourself.
psycho chick's homemade video NSFW

Gravid Films Presents :: 32 Hours 7 Minutes

Ann Coulter's Beauty Secret

Norman Mailer said: "I think the internet is the greatest waste of time since masturbation was discovered", which raised an important question for me. No, not "Who does that guy think he is, disparaging two of my favorite pastimes in one sentence", but, "was masturbation discovered or was it invented?" To discover something is to point it out, to name something which has remained hidden, like the pituitary gland. That wasn't invented, it was discovered, like the rings of saturn. Somebody did some work and defined it. Boom, discovery.

Masturbation, though, took some doing. The raw materials were there to begin with, to be sure, but it wasn't like it was lying under a tree waiting to be found. I think it's better to say masturbation was invented. When fire was made by rubbing two sticks together, it was an invention. When a stick was used to pry up a rock, the lever was invented. You could say that a reflex was discovered, so that when you hit your knee your leg automatically bounces around, and you'd be right, but the hitting, the method of hitting and with what and at what speed, that was invented. Masturbation doesn't try to take credit for orgasms here, you see, but it's an invention that closes the distance between a person and an orgasm. So unless it's the case that an invention can be discovered, I don't think masturbation can be said to have been discovered.

By Garrison Keillor: "Something has gone seriously haywire with the Republican Party"

ClicheSite.com - The largest collection of cliches, phrases and sayings with definitions and explanations.

Bush Says Kerry 'More Heroic' for Going to Vietnam
Politics News Article | Reuters.com

I think I got me a new favorite cheese. It's St. Pete's select from Faribault, Minnesota, available at Kowalski's for 13.49 a pound. I prefer it to the spendier roquefort because this crumbles and thus is finger food cheese. Roquefort sticks to my fingers and almost glops all over everything, but this is made using the same mold. Awesome. Be sure to shop through them and pick one that came from the middle if possible; from this picture it should be clear that we're dealing with a big wheel, the middle of which is what you want.

How long can america stay scared?
and other articles to print at work.


former New York Times editor Howell Raines asks how important intelligence really is in an American president

a video clip of Ben Barnes, the former Speaker of the House in Texas, the guy who got President Bush into the Texas Air National Guard

I, for one, know exactly how Bea Arthur feels.

A guy rags on Philip K. Dick.

This is going o be an interesting week with the Republican national convention. Both "sides" expect some wild stunts from the other guys. There is going to be PLENTY of news.

Let's kick it off with the critical mass bike ride versus the lovely NYC police department, from our capable friends at corporate mofo.

Here's what happens when you threaten to kill the unpresident.

Giant geese in Australia? Scary, even if it was millions of years ago.

KCRW Arts & Culture: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Add this to your list of internet radio shows to tune into weekly along with This american life:
KCRW Arts & Culture: Le Show (Harry Shearer)

FlatWorld: The Mixed Reality Simulation Space - Institute for Creative Technologies


Look at what they're selling at my supermarket.

Goog. Ugh. Uhh. Brazilian female open directory. NSFW

"A biker bimbette decided that she'd rather be rid of her husband, so she coaxed her boyfriend to stop by for an impromptu soiree. As she beguiled her hubby by fellating him while he relaxed on the couch, her boyfriend stealthily wandered behind him and stabbed him in the neck. To celebrate her husband's untimely and expeditious demise, the couple proceded to "get naked", dismember the body, and capture the festivities with their trusty 110 pocket camera."

Not Safe For Work, Nor Appetite

Magic Roundabout

Health News - Sweet Revenge May be a Hard-Wired Reward
Alert Minsky.

BBC NEWS: Bush admits Iraq 'miscalculation'

Not safe for work but pretty funny...
Jim Goad's NETJERK LOUNGE - Photo Caption Contest #2

Why would anyone want to look at this naked chick flopping around in the bathtub? NSFW

Buh-bye, Tony.
MPs launch bid to impeach Blair

Computer user posture alert:
Unused back muscles switch themselves off

China is fucked up.
Pregnant Inmate Forced To Undergo Abortion To Be Eligible for Death Penalty in China

Scientists Report First Observation Of An 'Atomic Air Force'

In case you missed it elsewhere:
Yahoo! News - Ranks of Poor, Uninsured Rose in 2003


FIST GIRL, safe for work

Two things.

I got a card today from the red cross, the thickness of a credit card, which will quickly ID me when it's time to give blood, and that's nice. But I have got SO MANY of these nice cards from places it's a task keeping them organized on my person. I'm getting a fat wallet choked not with money, but with stuff like blood donor cards and memberships to political action committees. Jesus would be proud of me, though, and I'm not joking. Jesus, it turns out, was a liberal. I'd be glad if they cut the thickness of all these damn cards in half for me. Until Wal-mart buys everything I have a lot of cards to deal with and I'd appreciate it if everybody did their part to give my George Washingtons some breathing room.

Second, I had an idea, as I so often do, as I was getting to sleep today, and as I so often do, I regretted that I'd be forgetting that idea directly. So I got up and wrote it down and here it is: If there is an axis of evil, George Bush must consider himself a resident of the equator of wholesome goodness. Yep, that was it. Maybe after I get up and write enough of those down I won't feel so bad about making a "humph" noise and rolling over to sleep.

Why would anyone want to look at a LOT of naked women?
Not safe for work

Linguistics prof. George Lakoff dissects the "war on terror" and other conservative catchphrases

"Conservatives have branded liberals" and other ideas

Kerry on the daily show.

Obscure musical oddities. Bring a blanket, you're spending the night.
Fluxblog Is Not Essing Around


Funny Movies - eBaum's World

MSNBC - 10 Nobel economists endorse Kerry: "Experts criticize Bush's 'reckless and extreme course'"

"The endorsement, in the form of an open letter to American voters, was signed by George Akerlof and Daniel McFadden of the University of California at Berkeley, Kenneth Arrow and William Sharpe of Stanford University, Daniel Kahneman of Princeton University, Lawrence Klein of the University of Pennsylvania, Douglass North of Washington University, Paul Samuelson and Robert Solow of MIT and Joseph Stiglitz of Columbia University [but T.J. from the junkyard said he doesn't give a shit]."

Once again with the killer picture, Reuters

Porn makes you happy: "'The more we try to make pornography a bad thing that should be kept away from the family, the more problems we have,' said a guy who loves porn."

The old roommate is composing a song, that if it's not a hit in the making, has the potential to be as good as any song I've heard a local band do live. I hope it's going to be along the lines of "when I'm alone in your room". It's an underdone theme, and everyone will relate to it. What happnes the first time you're in your new girlfriend or boyfriend's bedroom alone? THere are many worlds to explore in that theme.

Reason. ID, I Don't: When should the government be able to demand our papers?

A must-browse:
Tricks of the Trade
"Nurse: Patients will occasionally pretend to be unconscious. A surefire way to find them out is to pick up their hand, hold it above their face, and let go. If they smack themselves, they’re most likely unconscious; if not, they’re faking."

secret box in the corner, not safe for work and very nasty

What To Bring To College

The world's tallest virtual building

Death mask gallery

Seriously: Kerry on Comedy Central

Cheney's gay pride? I smell desperation in the Bush camp.

Well, the gals done us proud over in Greece. Here they are celebrating:

A proper hug was in order:

Then somebody up in the stands grabbed Kerri's ass.

I didn't know Misty May had a tattoo! Let's take a closer look!

Brazilians don't have those tattoos!

It's not just me doing this. I got this original from Reuters:

Keeping a straight face, tell me that's not newsworthy.

Sheesh. I'm worn out just looking.
Congratulations, girls!

Finally Igor can study the procedures of packing a fresh brain

Homemade Beer


the World of Jean Baudrillard

print at work: The State Religion

print at work: None Dare Call It Treason, vintage Nation

When Browse happy makes it to the top of daypop, it means millions of people are saying buh-bye to IE.

Stanley Cup temporarily lost in luggage mishap

New wallpaper time.
Astronomy Picture of the Day Archive


Fusker, advanced web extractor.
Also known as the last word in pornography. Fusker is why you can't make any money with a porn website.


Depo Provera is linked to high STD risk. So is having sex with skanky people.

last place olympic tracker

Taking a closer look at the medals of George W. Bush

Godchecker - your Guide to the Gods

awesome chinese cop shoots kidnapper photos

Constitutional rights for RNC protesters factsheet

campaign song remixes

New overtime rules are mostly bad news for employees

Pornzilla: a collection of tools for surfing porn with Mozilla Firefox.

a doodle in flash

Math and physics applets

Then and now: the governator

The Time Travel Fund(tm)

Mismatched heart translpants work in newborns because there are no antibodies. story

Tornado at 12,000 feet. Pictures of.

Blair refuses accept US award
Bush wants a photo-op with Blair and the congressional medal of honor. He wants to award the stupidity of joining him on this fool's errand. Blair is more honorable without that medal. Maybe Bush can give it to another member of the coalition of the willing, like Silivio Berlusconi! With his new hair implants and facelift that medal would look pretty spiffy.

Try googling "bush's foreign friends" and hitting the I'm feeling lucky button. It's a whole litle world unto itself. Somebody played a pretty good trick.

Oil is getting expensive.

Anyone want to guess how many casualties there have been in Iraq this month? I don't remember hearing too much about that in the liberal media...


Fractal Geometry

Because it was so good, a quote that otherwise would be lost by the wayside:

“Naturally, the common people don’t want war, but after all, it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. This is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in every country.” -- Hermann Goering

I just finished reading "Chaos", by James Gleick, and will have to read it again. It's not the sort of book one can read, then claim to have read, then not expect to be asked lots of questions about. I can't answer those questions until I have another go at it. I'll start that again in about a week's time. For now I'm reading "cocktail time" by P.G.Wodehouse, which is devastatingly superb. Just thought I'd let you know. While we're at it, the last movies I saw were "walking tall", about sheriff Buford Pusser, "ghost world", with that chick from lost in translation, "Wild gals of the naked west" by Russ Meyer, and "Outfoxed, Rupert Murdoch's war on journalism". That about catches us up.

Have a meth lab in your kitchen? Don't let your daughter's foot get burned by acid, then have her stand in the ocoee river which will give her a terrible infection or you could get ten years in the pokey!

John Cura and his Tele-Snaps

From Abu Ghraib:
A Picture Worth Exactly One Thousand Words

French military history lesson, for those cretins among us who take the heritage foundation's talking points as gospel.

Shades of my old job today at work, a nice, slow day. In the OR there's a pancreas transplant happening, but in the OR lounge the olympics are on, women's beach volleyball. No matter who ends up with the medals, the real winner is me. Jump, skimpy suits, jump, set, and spike. I'd help you do it if I could, because I am a true patriot. A citizen that believes in helping his fellow citizen.

Read this:
the end of cheap oil, from National Geographic's June issue.
The truth is not "Partisan".

Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. This is not a way of life at all in any true sense. Under the clouds of war, it is humanity hanging on a cross of iron.
Dwight David Eisenhower, 1953

New alcohol craze is a cocktail haze
Alcohol inhalers. What could possibly go wrong?

Boing Boing: Lying Swift Boat Veterans for Bush
Shirley you must be joking.

Child Pimp & Ho Costumes



One of my oldest web heroes has ended his long sabbatical, right when I'd forgotten what I was missing.
Ladies and gentlemen, Jim Goad.

it's funny, but I ain't laughing

Antique American Posters


Realdoll vs. Superbabe

mankind's greatest achievement is the peanut butter cookie from the wedge co-op.

some semi-amusing blogs:

barefoot and . . .


Zori, the Supermom


I am watching the worst movie ever made: "bikini house calls". It is so bad. I got a bloopers dvd at a yard sale but in the case is the wrong thing. On the other side is bikini med school.

inbred mouse, heh

Whoever did this is awesome. It's pictures of female olympic athletes with little and no clothing. Not safe for work. Good variety.

WPVI.com: College President Shares Space with Students

It's good to be the king.

Raining Perseids

WCCO%3A Unknown Object Hovering In St. Paul Sky

ratemyvagina.com, NSFW

japanese mudslide video

Deuce Bicycle Spinner Wheels

The Paper Napkin email rejection service

interesting picture.

Current Value of Old Money

A lot of different countries, calulators.

True, dat:
The Spoonbender

Big John Toilet Seat - The bigger and better toilet seat ergonomically designed for our growing population. www.bigjohntoiletseat.com


Doing a Lynndie

Of the seven Tennessee state troopers lining I-40, four were in Putnam county. After the first three I figured there was no way there would be another. Wrong. Ticket. Thanks again, Putnam county!

And thanks again, unpresident Bush, for making me two hours late getting home last night. My 8:26 turned into a 10:30 because he had to campaign in some towns in Wisconsin and here in Minnesota. Air Force one's departure blocked all air traffic, which was me, so I sat on the tarmac at Sioux City, South Dakota while we refueled and tried to get back here. If the policy is to divert everybody when he decides to go somewhere, maybe the airlines could get that information in advance. Would that be too much to ask? When he gets to go wherever he wants and screw everybody else any old time it doesn't seem right, and it doesn't seem right because it isn't right. It also wasn't right that the asian woman behind me hadn't discovered the western innovation called "pacifier" for her baby. The baby wasn't that loud, it just wouldn't stop. Then the lady next to them played peek-a-boo with it for a while. How nice. How sweet. How irritating to be sitting on the ground in Sioux City listening to peek-a-boo.


In Tennessee, especially in Crossville and the surrounding area, crystal meth is a serious problem. It's made with a bunch of stuff that is legal to buy and own, including sudafed. At a store called Big Lots yesterday I saw that if someone wants to buy sudafed they have to show photo ID and can only buy one box at a time.

I got here in time for the world's biggest tag sale. Highway 127 is avustle with literally hundreds of miles of junk. For some, heaven. For me, a traffic issue. Early in the process of discovering it was all most likely the same crap every year, just moved around amd sold by different people, I almost bought a jar that said "University of Toledo" and then I remembered an article a friend wrote called "terminal kitsch" and set it down again. There is such a thing as too much dumb garbage. Of course, things would have been different if it were a coffee mug. Walking down the highway (the sale runs from ohio to alabama) I saw a bunch of old signage. It hit me that the only place you see that variety of Americana is in TGIMcFriedthing's...

America used to have a lot of tin signs hanging in it that sold products based on their Quality. Then when Style took over it bought those old signs and hung them up so that people could pay a lot of money to eat bad food while thinking about the proud commercial traditions of their homeland. Or something. Maybe you can finish that thought for me.

Stuff here is cheap and it's actually dark at night. And there are no black people. Other than that, it's just like Minneapolis. And no gay people. But other than that, it's just like... and christian stuff on cars, in yards, on the radio, on people, churches lining every street, but other than that, it's just like... and you can't buy sudafed without the FBI being alerted. I guess there are some differences. More to come.

I don't have time to goof around on the internet and find interesting links, so if you see any, please drop me a line in creepy gmail.


Have a great day!


Registration - BugMeNot.com

Anarchy in the RNC

Boing Boing: Print real US postage stamps with your own photos. No boobies.

Furry bondage porn figurines. Just kill yourself if this is your thing.
VCL - Wolf-Mage

17 minute salvador dali film. NSFW

cool art thing
Stop Motion Studies - Series 2

Perseid is tonight.

Well what do you know?

INDOlink - NRI News - Rushdie Praises Pornography

"asserts that a free society must be be judged by its willingness to accept pornography", which I agree with roughly... a hundred per cent.

another story

ZeD - Acquisition - The Big Charade
A video: "A young farmboy with a gift for the game �charades� delves into the seedy charading underworld in search of his father�s killer"


Amazing photography
see it before the server melts

The Most Mentally Ill Job Resume

International Do Not Enter road signs from around the world

Not safe for work, and very funny.
Helicopter Fuck

A helpful tip, in the form of an open letter. To you.

Hey you,

I know there are some people that can't whistle, and that's sad. As sad as heck. But those who CAN whistle underutilize this ability. There ought to be people whistling up a storm everywhere you go. I decided to lead the people to the promised land of their newfound musical freedom by example at work the other day, and it struck me that whistling can also be used for evil.

Free-form jazz whistling could be the most obnoxious thing a human can do with its mouth, as I learned when I was doing it. Just try it for a while. I recommend completely breaking free of tempo for a good go at it, and be sure to watch out for flying objects.

Founding father of free form jazz whistling

Sweet! gmail apps, mac and otherwise, performing messenger-like duties

finally, i have found the mcdonald's menu song


First she got beat up by a backstreet boy, then she got her jewelry stolen. Does anybody else want to see this chick crash and burn and end up homeless and begging? A shitty fate, but it would be funny if it happened to Paris Hilton.

the unpresident displays his formidable command of the mother tongue: Tribal What-ery?

It started with "life's little instruction book". Pretty soon there was a sequel. "More little instructions" or something. Tears were choked back throughout the land as people read heartwarming yarns, anecdotes, aphorisms and country wisdoms. Then the real shitstorm started. This should sound familiar -- "chicken soup for the soul". There were more than a couple of sequels to that one, because as it turns out there are millions of people who need inspirational stories to help them cope, which is strange considering that their lives are, historically speaking, better than any one group's has ever been. People like teenage girls - -"chicken soup for the teenaged girl's soul", nurses, mothers, I'm guessing any group of women, really. In fact, out of all the possibilites for titles to this irritating deluge of brave smiles through the pain, tears and laughter and comfort, I can think of only one chicken soup book you'll never ever see, and that's "chicken soup for the chicken's soul." I wish somebody would make that thing and just fill it with the horrors of the ages, stories of innocent people frozen in fear, helpless to stop the senseless screaming horror of it all, from Kafka's childlike fears all the way to sexually perverse, demented surrealism. That's the book America needs. Comforting the afflicted and afflicting the comfortable, which should be everyone's hobby, doesn't mean filling your potpourri-laden house with little books depicting how great it all could be if you would open your heart to the love all around you between shopping trips to oppression-mart, bedrock of modern slavery. "Chicken soup for the chicken's soul" would absolutely sell like crazy. People's lives are empty. They DO need a form of chicken soup for the soul. But the little books defeat their intended purpose; the real remedy is to confront people with the silliness of their percieved needs and the ridiculous ways in which they try to fulfill them, such as buying shit they don't need.

Time short! Two things!
1) wordnet, a lexical database of the English language
2) Deception Detection, psychologists try to learn how to spot a liar

Diesel Dreams


What does your phone number spell?

A World War II Photo Essay

christian right: oxymoron?

If you like looking at women's butts, lay down your heavy burden. Your weary toil is at an end. NSFW here

An interview... with me!

1. Do you try to look hot when you go to the grocery store just in case someone recognises you from your blog?

I don't put pictures of myself on my blog. But I do turn some heads. Yow!

2. Are the photos you post Photoshopped or otherwise altered? Photo blogs take ages to load and piss everyone off.

Yes, some are photoshopped. I only use little pictures because big ones throw off the alignment or whatever. With too much order and planning, the spirit of the whole page is thrown into a maelstrom of chaos and wickedness. And I just can't have that.

3. Do you like it when creeps or dorks email you?

Yes. Nearly every email reaffirms my sense of confident superiority. Is that bad?

4. Do you lie in your blog?

Constantly. But about little things. Isn't it pathetic?

5. Are you passive-aggressive in your blog?

Not too much, no. It wouldn't fit the theme. A person can say anything they want and they say passive aggressive shit, that to me is unhealthy.

6. Do you ever threaten to quit writing so people will tell you not to stop?

Even though that's one of my favorite comedic mechanisms, "I bet if I killed myself, I bet then you'd be sorry!", along with people spitting liquids when they begin to laugh, so abrupt and uncontrollable is the funnyness, no. No one would care if I quit. Seriously.

7. Are you in therapy? If not, should you be? If so, is it helping?

Therapy used to be defined as a martini after work. Just so we make that distinction to illustrate the transitory nature of self-help. And no. Paying somebody to talk about yourself is stupid. Blogs are free.

8. Do you delete mean comments? Do you fake nice ones?

I had to delete an entire post after somebody flipped out on me for telling him to fuck off, but I didn't doctor the record, I erased the whole thing. It was more fair to him and everybody else. I deserved it that time, too.

9. Have you ever rubbed one out while reading a blog? How about after?

I don't know what kind of blogs you're reading, but I'd like to.

10. If your readers knew you in person, would they like you more or like you less?

More, less, a jedi needs not these things.

11. Do you have a job?


12. If someone offered you a decent salary to blog full-time without restrictions, would you do it?


13. Which blogger do you want to meet in real life?

Mimi smartypants. I'd like to see who she makes fun of when she's drunk, and if it's me.

14. How many bloggers have you made out with?

One, I think.

15. Do you usually act like you have more money or less money than you really have?

There is no need for exaggeration. I am honest without telling people the numbers in my many, many bank accounts.

16. Does your family read your blog?

My mom does, my brothers do, but my father doesn't know about it. And until we break the ice about our political differences it's best that way.

17. How old is your blog?

About a year.

18. Do you get more than 1000 page views per day? Do you care?

That feature doesn't exist on my rough and ready interface, but let's see. Not a chance. And I don't care. But I do want to know how many I get. Who wouldn't?

19. Do you have another secret blog in which you write about being depressed, slutty, or a liar?

No, I'm a slutty liar in the blog I have now. But I'm not depressed. One of the great things about being born against is you get full control over the way you feel, so there's never an excuse to be depressed.

20. Have you ever given another blogger money for his/her writing?

No, but I made another blogger a cd with some funny songs on it. That was also the blogger I made out with.

21. Do you report the money you earn from your blog on your taxes?

Stop everything. First the one handed read and now the internet gold mine of blogging? What beautiful planet are you on and how do I get there? I make nothing from my blog.

22. Is blogging narcissistic?


23. Do you feel guilty when you don't post for a long time?

It has never been a long time since I posted, so I don't know.

24. Do you like John Mayer?

No. I actually hate that guy, and one lyric of his can describe why better than pages of polemic: "might be a quarter life crisis". Fuck you, John Mayer, and your whiny goddamned bullshit. Sorry. You have just played me like a fiddle.

25. Do you have enemies?

No serious ones, but I keep hoping.

26. Are you lonely?

Quite the opposite. I crave solitude.

27. Why bother?

Out of habit.

President Signs Defense Bill
"America and our allies are fighting a new kind of war against a different kind of enemy."

Web hoax fools news services / S.F. man fakes beheading, proves need for verification

"The faked beheading story broadcast on two Arab language television stations and sent out on international news services early Saturday was based on a grainy video that was made by three Bay Area residents as an experiment to find out how quickly erroneous information could be spread by the Internet."

On Atkins: LRB | Steven Shapin : The Great Neurotic Art

Guardian Unlimited | Special reports | Stay calm everyone, there's Prozac in the drinking water


Possible repost.
Women Behind Bars... Hosting free web pages for ladies in prison. These female prisoners are looking for love, marriage, penpals, and a good solid relationship with men and women in the free world.

ccol website.

Michael's Sketchy & Sci-Fi Book Covers

FTheVote.com: Trade Sex for Votes

Red or Blue: Which Are You? - Take the Slate quiz. By Anne E. Kornblut

The GOP is a disgrace.
nbc4columbus.com - Politics - Openly Racist Candidate Wins GOP Primary In Tenn.

via atrios, who everyone should know by now:

Fox poll results in, looking bad for the unpresident

Smooth Jazz WJJZ-FM 106.1...your at work companion.
Download some audio! Then stick your head in the blender!

Bush Insists His Administration Seeking 'new Ways to Harm Our Country' - from TBO.com
Funny. The president's misspeaking is apparently getting old at AP.

Rising Hegemon: Let's go to the Transcripts, Mr. Ridge

AJR - Going It Alone
On the free press

Boston.com / News / Nation / Veteran retracts criticism of Kerry
"Yesterday, reached at his home, Elliott said he regretted signing the affidavit and said he still thinks Kerry deserved the Silver Star."
They all deserve to have their heads examined for being so mired in the idea that having a silver star makes any difference at all in any way whatsoever.
"Well, we lost ten guys in a firefight this week, but the one that lived got a silver star! The valor! The heroism! The shinyness on the uniform! La la la I love America, the greatest land of all, and I sing it very loud so it drowns out all the critical thought suggesting that constant war might not be such a great idea la la la. So rah rah rah and God bless the USA, and when I say god there's another thing you're not allowed to disparage because we're all equal and all my opinions are equal to yours, even though I think the earth is flat."

Boing Boing: Disney asks FCC to lock up all the record-buttons

FOX's Your World sub host Varney obsessed with "gay days".

The shi'ite's hitting the fan in Najaf

Makin' Muslim friends!

BBC NEWS | Europe | Welfare bill stirs Russian anger

"If you watch Russian state television, you would think there was no controversy at all."

CNN.com - Solar system may be one of a kind - Aug 5, 2004
And it may not be. Where's the math in this story?

Alex Chiu's Eternal Life Device
kind of like
Time Cube.

Chaoscope > Gallery
great images! if i didn't love my desktop so much i'd get one of these.

How to take a picture of a sonic boom

Linux surpasses Mac as No. 2 desktop OS

Things That Suck

Hot Ghetto Mess We Gotta Do Better...
I don't really get it.


guide to anime

Terra Grass Armchair

Goatse at Defcon -- brought to you by airpwn

Return of the ring - Unusual Tales - www.smh.com.au

Freaky, somebody actually slowed down the chipmunks.
said the gramophone: with you
You have to listen to this.

Yahoo! News - Eugenics Backer Causes Stir in Tenn. Race

Bush approval vs. terror alerts chart from JuliusBlog
- Whenever his ratings dip, there's a new terror alert.

- Every terror alert is followed by a slight uptick of Bush approval ratings.

Fatal attraction website... scary


What's Naenara-DPRK? It's North Korea's website!
Let's pootify it!

And vandalize it!
Here are the top 10 most vandalized sites.

Norman Mailer and John Buffalo Mailer Discuss Protests at the Republican National Convention

Ransom Note Generator



Browser Security Test

From wired: Animation Express: The Sex Slave Series

CNN.com - Not guilty plea to spreading manure on gay rights parade - Aug 2, 2004

Why would anyone ever want to look at this redhead with little and no clothing? I just don't get it.

Boston.com / News / Local / Mass. / High school teacher pleads innocent to sexual relationship with student
She's not allowed within a hundred yards of the alleged victim. Hmm. Victim is wandering through my mind in search of something to connect with. Sex with a hot woman when you're sixteen doesn't qualify as actually bad. What a hoodwink job on reality the eighteen-year-old-maturity law is.

This ad campaign:
AXE - PITMAN - Dry Pits Win!
was the one referred to by this
MUST READ article:
Dry pits win - SFgate

Paris Hilton got her ass kicked. By a backstreet boy. I think Paris can afford a decent attorney.

How to Destroy Western Civilisation

RetroRaunch! #1 Vintage Megasite on the net...if it's vintage, we have it!

Is My Little Baby Going to Go Gay?
Handy Homo Prevention Tips For Concerned Parents With Suspect Toddlers

On Lynndie England: The Spoonbender

He leaves out the fact that since she was impregnated on film amidst the screeching horror of Abu Ghraib by a psychopath, she may well be gestating the antichrist.

Spoonbender is also much funnier than I am.

'Tigger' Found Not Guilty Of Molesting Girl

Yahoo! News - In Iowa Fight, Kerry Waves Corn, Bush Eats It Raw
Then Kerry ate two ears of corn and said "Man do I love me some corn." Then Bush stuck an ear of corn up his ass and faked an orgasm. Then so did Kerry but while he was eating an ear of corn. Then Bush ate the ear of corn that had been up his own ass and said "America can be proud of its corn, that's for sure." Then John Kerry delivered a speech about how the war on terror should also be a war on people who don't eat corn. Then Bush said you're either with the corn, or you're with the terrorists. After some bickering about who had stolen what idea from whom, Bush and Kerry retired and lived in the Iowa prairie, sticking ears of corn up each others' asses and living happily ever after. Sometimes, if you're eating corn and you look toward Iowa with the right kind of eyes, you can see the place where two presidential election campaigns ended, where the overpowering love of corn trumped petty partisanship. Corn corncorncorn corncorn corn. Fucking maniacs, both of them.

HOT or NOT? - Katherine Harris

lame. Dreamachine

California's SUV Ban - The Golden State has outlawed big SUVs on many of its roads but doesn't seem to know it.

how to make 3D displays


Mesmerizing applet, release me.

Jack Valenti's stupid comments, gathered by Lawrence Lessig

blog apocrypha:
Rev. Moon's submarines, sold to Kim Jong-Il, empower a nuke threat to the West Coast
I mainly put it here so I can say, this is by the guy that brought us this story about the strangest thing to ever occur at the senate office building.
The reverend Sun-yung Moon is the king of america.

Joyce, thanks for reminding me,
Sean Hannity Is A Moron.

Calif. taxpayers subsidize Wal-Mart workers, study finds
Geez, ya think? Low price is not the same as low cost.

WRAL.com - News - President's Daughters Get Ride On Diverted Flight
But don't they deserve that kind of treatement, deep down? You know, they're really just much better than you and me, and the sooner you face that fact, the sooner this is all going to make sense.

NY Citicorp building is under such a high threat level that the US government pulls out all stops to protect it. Like sending Laura Bush there
Laura Bush Visits Citicorp In NY Amid Terror Alert -CNN - Aug. 2, 2004


Joyce is in NYC for a conference on how to be awesome to your boyfriend. I wish I was there, and not just so that I could demonstrate how to be been awesome to. That sentence is the worst one I have ever heard.

On the phone she sounds really happy. Not like she usually sounds here. New York brings that out in people I know, people from here and from smaller towns. At least I know she's not going to bars and stuff. Thank god for that conference.

Joshua: Transdimensionally Modified. [The Publisher's Ring]

"Shannon: And his ears?
Lukas: I cut them off. It was not hard."

Just what you'd expect from BME: Body Modification Ezine - The biggest and best online bod-mod site since 1994. But cutting ears off? Making people look like aliens? WHAT aliens? This is the craziest thing I've heard of since muslim extremism.

This sucks. I myself was screwed by one of these essay grading programs.
Computers Weighing In On the Elements of Essay (washingtonpost.com)

Live from DefCon: The Sniper Yagi can get you online at up to ten miles. Sick.

How to build a hypercube

FAST food fans must walk almost TEN miles to work off the calories in a Big Mac Meal.

Years from now it will be an important and acknowledged and much discussed issue, exactly what were people applauding when George W. Bush said "You're either with us, or you're with the terrorists". It will not be discussed for a while because of the implication tht people are dumber than hell when they think that means something, let alone something good.

Is it good to have things that simple? Do people just like applauding? The flaws revealed by these simple questions are clear and too plentiful to enumerate given my schedule, but I trust if you think about it, you'll find yourself asking questions that should be on the front pages of newspapers, not swept into op-ed pieces hidden back beneath the solution to yesterday's crossword or wherever they are. It's not my imagination that there is a disease in this method of reasoning. It's a big problem and thinking like "there's the good over here, and the bad over here! see my hands? here, and here! got it? vote for me!" isn't helping.

Over the city in a neat line, exacly bifurcating the sky into equal halves, there now hangs a con/chemtrail. It's absolutely perfect and it goes from ESE to WNW, or vice versa. Looking at it, only one thought passes through my mind: I've got to look up the conspiracy theories about those, because this is just too weird. We did have a high terror alert, or so my mother told me tonight, and if the military industrial complex is in need of a reichstag fire to stay comfortably in the driver's seat, I don't doubt they'd poison my fair city to do it.

But really, what are those trails? Who is putting that stuff in the sky and what is it? It's some stuff that somebody's putting there on purpose, and that is all I need to know. We don't need anything that is sprayed out of airplanes or jets or whatever. The world has been doing just fine for four billion-odd years without whoever putting whatever that is wherever it goes when they drop it off there.

I've seen those before, and I've never seen one that goes partly across the sky, over to the side somewhere. They're always straight across, and I know because I live right next to downtown. I've even seen them intersect at a 90 degree angle, right over the city. Sometimes when I'm not feeling particularly ashamed of myself, I'm disappointed there will be no judgement day, because there is so much I will have liked to have known, that I never will.


Soldiers make an Iraq Video. More entertaining than abu ghraib footage, and without all the torture!

A little late, the ACLU - Pizza video

Lame. Really lame.
Rock 'N' Roll Holiday Escape!

It's time for zymurgy! Invite me over for a taste-test!
Forbes.com: U.S. Losing Its Beer Identity

PPFA will sell you "I Had An Abortion" T-shirts
In your face, anyone?

This is how careers end. Not safe for work. Allison Williams Sex Tape - Reporter gets it on in WvecTV News Truck

You Have Bad Taste in Music

Spyware Warrior, a blog

Surprising: BBC NEWS | Technology | Digital memories survive extremes

How To Do Girls - "Do it right, ask a girl"
In other news, bittorrent is getting to be the real internet.

Anglophiles will make love to this link like white on rice. Or something like that.
English Accents and Dialects, a collection of audio.

Do I really have to tell you why anyone would want to look at these Babes in skimpy clothes? NSFW


Be afraid! The Bush administration wants you to!
TheStar.com - Al Qaeda targeting 'iconic' buildings

Oh Shit! Are any buildings around ME iconic?!?!?

American Airlines, US Airways Flights Back In The Air
after undisclosed, mystery event

The Adventures of Accordion Guy in the 21st Century :: Joey deVilla's Weblog :: The Breakup Style of PowerPoint

time to get cable:
The Horror Channel :: It's gonna be a MONSTER!!!

good advice:

gapingvoid: how to be creative

Fantastic Zoology

Last night I went with some friends down to Elko Speedway to watch a little nascar. We got great seats, front row at the finish line. I should go do that more.