From Bush, Unprecedented Negativity (

I thought it was really disgusting that my mother would try to ruin my dinners when I was a child by telling me it didn't matter that the food touched on the plate because "it all winds up in the same place", until I put it together that she meant stomach, not toilet.

Google image searches turn up the strangest things.
*Col.Kink* is "disney with a story line", but it's fantasy sex stories involving disney characters

indian vanilla coke ad, realmedia The Paper Trail -- Jun. 07, 2004

Corrections Museum, Thai prison tour

Holy Rollers - the crhistian cigarette rolling paper

Foot Prints in The Sand

All right, I'm watching these women take their clothes off for money on the webcam and it's prety funny.

There are twenty-one different cameras, nineteen or so of which can be expected to be functioning at any given time, and the one dead center features 2 women instead of the usual 1. The one on the left was just picking her nose for a long time. Ah! She's moved over to the right! Exciting! Or not.

So that's webcam porn for you. A lot more realistic and less titillating that I thought. I guess enthusiasm has to exist on someone's part for nudity to become "sexy".


weird 3d face

Last year I went to the courthouse to help out a friend who was in a jam. Basically we were going to lie our asses off and see if we could get him out of a DUI. The cop couldn't show up to testify (hallelujah, pun intended) so he beat it without us having to perjure. Which was awesome. Anyway, while I was walking around the courthouse looking for adventure (there were interstices during which my presence was not required), I got on an elevator. A lot of people got on that elevator with me, and standing in the back I noticed a pack behavior emerge. The thing was comfortably full (no one touching) and then a big fat guy, I mean LARGE, a lawyer I recognized from earlier, rapping loudly into his cellphone, got on with us, without any acknowledgement of the crowding.

At the moment he stepped on, the elevator sank. Everybody had the same feeling, which it took every bit of courage they could muster not to respond to by panicked screams, myself included. We thought we were goners. Eyes closed. Imaginary cables snapped. That feeling we all have in dreams, falling to our dooms, was about to be real. So this was what it had all been leading up to. We'd always kind of thought so. How simple. The elevator stopped sinking after at least four inches of drop and rose again. Mental inventory: We should have that looked at.

The lawyer didn't miss a beat, for all I know he regularly does this and loves it. It's not very much fun to be on the wrong end of some jokes and this was one of those. Anyway, the pack mentality. The people who were already on there backed up from the new occupant, touching each other rather than him, even though they knew each other only five second's worth better than they did him. And that's the little human nature lesson, I guess. Just by being there right off the bat you gain familiarity with the crowd; there's an automatic preference to trust you over the newer guy.

My girlfriend doesn't think it's as funny as I do when I call her "the committee". Here I was thinking she'd be glad I see the humor in her indecisiveness.

The guy I'm working with today just put his book down and walked off. It's called "naked prey" and it has a critic's quote on the front. I saw it sitting there and I went to see what the quote was. It says "All but impossible to put down". That made me laugh. The guy reading it turned around to see what I was laughing at but I thought he was too connected to what I considered funny for comfort, so I'll just let him think I'm slightly mentally unsound. Because he, ha ha uh, he set the uh, and but what it said was, get it? Guys? I might be just about ready for that memorial day off.

I didn't know Ann Coulter worked at the Boston Herald!
I'd recognize those histrionics anywhere!

How to have a really open election, one cool part of which is the URL, Boingboing has hacked the NYT registration.

from the bush photoshop contest at fark

news guy gets jumped on by lizard, freaks out
windows media

Hmm. Why hasn't the unpresident mentioned the reinstatement of the draft? Strange!
Congress.Org -- Issues and Legislation
Kiss your kids goodbye, America!


Free copies, a how-to.

This will not win a nobel prize.
massively multiplayer thumbwrestling networking theory

photoshop contest: clothed nudes from history

somewhat amusing, if you can stomach graphic depictions of gay sex --
cruising, the adventures of a gay man and anonymous gay sex

From the "now it can be told" department:

I have a roommate. At about 2 AM Friday morning, while he and his girlfriend were snoozing peacefully, Makeanassofyourselficus (the god of sleepwalking) commanded me to go to his bedroom and attempt to purchase a cigarette. Neither of us smokes. Of course, I remember none of this. I reportedly tugged at the covers and everything. It was awkward hearing about it secondhand. That nicotine is some addictive stuff.

I got a copy of the schedule for the Republican National Convention, and here it is.

New York, NY
6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell
6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd Amendment)
6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting Your Kid a Military Deferment
7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong
7:35 PM Freedom Fries served
7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury: It's What's for Dinner
8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos Are After Your Children
8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (men only)
8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations: The Government of the Future
9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"
9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong
9:10 PM EPA Address #2: Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires
9:30 PM break for secret meetings
10:00 PM Second Prayer led by Cal Thomas
10:15 PM Carl Rove Lecture: Doublespeak Made Simple
10:30 PM Rumsfeld Lecture/Demonstration: How to Squint and Talk Macho Even When You Feel Squishy Inside
10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare
10:40 PM John Ashcroft Demonstration: New Mandatory Kevlar Chastity Belt.
10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black Republicans
10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong
10:50 PM Seminar #3: Education: A Drain on Our Nation's Economy
11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Pinata
11:20 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: Evolutionists: A Dangerous New Cult.
11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again
11:35 PM Blame Clinton
11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies
11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself
12:00 PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord


Hot Foods Internet Index - Vital signs found in boy thought dead - May 28, 2004

Petrochemical Dolomite Stem

2004 May 28 - A Manhattan Sunset


Bill Owens, Photographer


Remarks by Al Gore
May 26, 2004

Google Search: "how to isolate hydrogen" I wanted to know how to do this and these are the results I get. Thanks, internet.

I printed the overweight american essay (at work of course) and in it I found a body mass index calculator.

Here's the link.

Gore calls for resignation of Rumsfeld and Rice: "How dare they subject us to such dishonor!"
""I am calling today for Republicans as well as Democrats to join me in asking for the immediate resignations of those immediately below George Bush and Dick Cheney, who are most responsible for creating the catastrophe we are facing in Iraq," Gore said, drawing strong applause from the partisan crowd."

repeat: "...drawing strong applause from the partisan crowd."

What does it take to have a wee bit of objectivism in the media? How many people have to die to make it happen? Is there any hope? Because this war on terror is a joke, the White house is the most dangerous flock of thug liar murderers imaginable, and to boot, the coverage of it is a joke! In this very newspaper article!

What makes them a "partisan crowd"? I know as well as anyone that "partisan" means different things, but here it is a shaded word, and it shades the whole piece. The nationalistic hysteria that keeps the biggest executive administrative failure in history on the payroll is not only alive and kicking in the very piece reporting on its aftereffects, it is ubiquitous and rampant throughout all aspects of the media. Unquestioning George-worship is a hallmark of our time, and that's the real story here. The news should not say "Gore yells about things" It should say "Everyone in America sat there on their fat asses and watched television instead of throwing the bums out of the country".


print at work
The Way We Eat Now
long essay about American chubbiness

Roman Army News

Try the realmedia button for the fake science show at This American Life From WBEZ in Chicago.
It's the best episode I've heard in a long time. Art Bell ensues. West of the rockies, you are on the air.

We are entering a very ugly season in politics. May reason prevail.

Big Boogie Nights, San Francisco


Cool video, soundtrack by poser squarepusher wannabe
Bogdan Raczynski

one word. so little time.

Vintage Erotica Forum

I never realized Dan Quayle was such a bad speaker

Het Gebeurd In Dordt.
Which, I think, means "2 girls start kissing each other in public and keep doing it for a long time."

WiFi Speed Spray

Suspects Caught After Wreck Damages Vehicles And Garage
check out the picture

print at work

Maureen Farrell is so great. - Spanky the clown arrested on porn charges - May 25, 2004

MilkandCookies - Lil' Jon Soundboard 1

a great .gif


home to these and others

Kerry's Brilliant Scheme - The genius of not accepting the nomination. By Mickey Kaus Author booed for anti-Bush remarks

My main man, E. L. Doctorow gets heckled! Shout 'em down, republicans! Shout and shout! Four legs good, two legs baa-aad!

How Much is Inside Planters Mixed Nuts?

E-Mail Chess


"Funny, isn't it? In 2002, Republican strategists used the impending Iraq war to distract the public from the miserable economic news. Now they're complaining that Iraq is taking voters' focus off the economy.

But is the economic news really that good? No. While the recent economic performance is better than in the administration's first three years, it isn't at all exceptional by historical standards. And after those three terrible years, the economy has a lot of ground to make up."
-- Op-Ed Columnist Paul Krugman: Delusions of Triumph

why Dick Cheney hunts ducks instead of fishing for squid

Bob Saget is God - All Hail the Great Lord Saget

I just found out that a girl who made me cry in preschool, telling me that a witch lived next door who ate little boys, is
this girl
from this page. Everybody turns ino something when they grow up, and Lori turned uh, awesome-looking.

BBC NEWS | Africa | Woman drops 'Nazi' number plates

A very funny article entitled:
How To Create Your Own Religion In 10 Easy Steps

farce ( P ) Pronunciation Key (färs)
a. A light dramatic work in which highly improbable plot situations, exaggerated characters, and often slapstick elements are used for humorous effect.
b. The branch of literature constituting such works.
c. The broad or spirited humor characteristic of such works.
2. A ludicrous, empty show; a mockery: The fixed election was a farce.
3. A seasoned stuffing, as for roasted turkey.

A strange event

My etch-a-sketch was missing for months. When I eventually found it under the couch it said on the screen in perfect cursive: "I'm under the couch!"

Transom Shows: The Day My Mother's Head Exploded


The facts:

This hospital is very, um, multicultural. I would imagine there are more countries with emigres working here than without. Every time the company offers a seminar for its employees, or training, or wellness lessons, or don't beat the spouse and shake the baby, or whatever, huge signs go up all over the place, saying things like "Welcome!" and then "welcome" in about nine other languages over and around it. It can't be said that they don't try very hard to stay at the cutting edge of touchy-feely political correctness, diversity, and sensitivity.

There's a woman of vaguely latin descent who works in the cafeteria here at the hospital. She is short and brownish.

Ours is a facility that is connected to the University of Minnesota, so we train and educate all kinds of people pretty constantly.

Every once in a while, the nutrition department (which controls the cafeteria) puts on a theme day. We did chinese not too long ago, for which the cafeteria was outfitted with placemats that tell you if your birth year corresponds was the year of the rat, dog, snake, what have you. The food was healthy but still "fun". That's what the nutrition department does. One day they did mexican food.

The funniest thing I've seen in a while:

The students who put these nutrition events on, who plan the menus and then put the events on their CVs later, decided to do a mexican day. The cafeteria management said, go ahead, do whatever you want.

To decorate, they made the short brown lady wear a sombrero. She said she couldn't wait till her shift was over because she hated that stupid hat.

That was funny enough to make me hemmorrhage, a little mexican forced to wear a sombrero and hating it. But then I saw who else had to wear them.

A woman in a burqa, was wearng a sombrero. A burqa. I mouthed the words, no f***ing way. The nurse in line behind me was just as stumped.

The only things like that happen in the cafeteria. During black history month they put on a "soul food" dinner. Guess what they served? Fried chicken, watermelon, and black eyed peas. Either somebody's got a sense of humor, or this cultural sensitivity thing is purely imaginary. Thanks, cafeteria, your food may suck, but you're good for a laugh.

Somebody in the hospital just got sent 96 liters of normal saline. Man oh man oh man.

Holy Crap
/heritage foundation goodness

battleground states polling

jail rape calculator

The Lighter Side of Trach Life

Yahoo! News - Nuclear Experiment Planned in Nevada

Zippy the Pinhead


non sequitur

woman driver

Not safe for work
gross picture.

now that is one BIG drink - News - North Miami PD Drops Requirement In Bid To Recruit Blacks

This may be a repost
/quicktime, big

Watch some guy SOLVE a 20x20x20 cube

I had a dream that caused me to wake up and look stuff up on the internet and find this. Which I think means it was something I ate.


"It's difficult to think of anyone who has inflicted more harm on Americans than their current president. Since he assumed the title of most powerful man in the world, 4 million Americans have lost their health insurance and 2 million jobs have disappeared. According to a CNN report, "half of all Americans are living from paycheque to paycheque - effectively one paycheque away from poverty". And Mr Bush's latest budget proposes to withdraw support of all kinds for working families earning less than $35,000 a year. At the same time the national debt has rocketed to more than $26,000 for every family..."

CBS News | Gen. Zinni: 'They've Screwed Up' | May 24, 2004 14:04:39: " think that we are going to ‘stay the course,’ the course is headed over Niagara Falls. I think it's time to change course a little bit, or at least hold somebody responsible for putting you on this course. Because it's been a failure.”

Wow. Eye-opener.
The Village Voice: Features: The Jesus Landing Pad by Rick Perlstein

darpa presents:

ice photography

Small world networks key to memory

networks stuff for Joe

The Jesus Test
If you believe in hell, you will believe this will get you sent there

The Case Files of the Fake Detective
photoshopped nude celebrities debunked

Most Valuable Weapon: the RPG - By Gary Brecher
"...the RPG is the best of all, even better than the Kalashnikov. This simple little beauty just keeps getting more and more effective. This cheap little dealie, nothing but a launcher tube and a few rockets shaped like two ice-cream cones glued together, has kicked our ass (and Russia's too) all over the world since back when the Beatles were still together. In fact, more and more guerrilla armies are making the RPG their basic infantry weapon, with the AK used to protect the RPG gunners, who provide the offensive punch. The Chechens fighting the Russian Army are so high on it that they've switched their three-man combat teams from two riflemen and an RPG gunner to two RPG gunners with a rifleman to protect them."

WorldNetDaily: Christians look to form 'new nation' within U.S.
Maybe June 30 will be the beginning of TWO theocracies! That would be super!

A pizza deliveryman-turned-bank robber who died when a bomb locked onto his neck exploded had just 55 minutes to disarm the bomb, according to details from a coroner's report.

the strangest video in some time

the cost of sex

It has been raining for a few days, not what you'd expect from this month, but Minnesota has different weather than most of the rest of the lower 48. It's cold, thunderless drizzle, like what you'd expect would fall on England all the time. I celebrated the cold rainy garbage with Bailey's. I like it with an ice cube. It's helping sedate me slightly, which is what I need to help me not freak out with nicotine withdrawal. Yep, I quit and it's not that big a deal. You don't actually have to do anything to quit smoking. It's easier not to smoke.


tonight's game, heh

Can't stop the torture, so... | Rumsfeld bans camera phones (May 23, 2004)

this internet site, an internet site about itself.
Actually, this site is about a documentary whose subject is the making of itself.

Do-it-yourself ringtone software encroaching on potential profits, some record labels say
Is it possible that even more obnoxious ringtones are on the way?

Ok. I got all the images in the two posts below from a google image search for "worship".

It's pretty funny that you never know if what you're going to see when you click the next page will be a woman shoving her stockinged foot in somebody's mouth or a youth group flying high on the wings of the power of the lord. It disturbs me far less to see kinky sex than it does to see a hundred people with their eyes closed, some of them crying, and all because of the lord. That freaks me out. When people are gettin' crazy with the whipped cream, the emotions are safer and more realistic.

Whoa! The X-files people naked! Sort of! Crazy creepy digital manipulations await you HERE!
the worst one

The ultimate Bush / chimp page

It's the Sunday sign language lesson!!

troubling images of worship:

and the scariest one of all:
family goodness

Berg beheading: No way, say medical experts

see some nudes / save the world NSFW

Cute blond secretary wearing black stockings


an essay about Walt Whitman


smoking quiz

Make your mark along with lots of stupid people

Female Latex Masks By Kerry

Institute for Naming Children Humanely Homepage

dickcream b-boy battle 2000

Ananova - Naked students in rollercoaster world record

The nicest birdhouse


The south Bronx
/Kids playing baseball in the street.
Watching this it occurs to you that the street is built on top of where kids used to play, so the fact the cars are there is kind of wrong, and that playing baseball is kind of like native americans, pushed to reservations. Baseball is to be played where the mood strikes. Go team.

Magistral 2004
tres faccionable!

Those activist judges...
scary link

Weebl and Bob - Team Laser Explosion

ABOF&L Scripts Archive
brilliant sketch comedy scripts, mostly placed here for the benefit of my brother Joe


Well, I finally finished reading Valentine's day for the idiots, a book my friend wrote.

I wanted to write a review for it on the amazon site, but I'm still under its influence so I'll have to wait a day or two.

Eric Idle sings about his feelings, mp3

attractive female people without clothing NSFW

MSNBC - 'Fahrenheit 9/11' wins top honor at Cannes

Roadside America - Guide to Offbeat Tourist Attractions
Thanks to Rania, I will always have something to look forward to on road trips. Great site!

Penguin chat
this is a really cool chat presentation

Why $2 Gas Is Amazing - Three reasons it should be cheaper. By Timothy Noah

NPR : Tricks the Brain Plays

last night's game. grr.
image link

see for yourself... abu ghraib video

Japanese porn game show video. NSFW

iraqi subway signage

FreePhotoshop - Adobe Photoshop plugins and filters reviews.

Videos Amplify Picture of Violence (

Banned album covers index

Ex-Soviet Officer Honored for Prudence


LawGeek: An example of Fox News' Biased coverage

"Among today's top stories, a new "Fox News Poll" that says 33% of those surveyed think the media is too easy on Kerry and 42% think the media is too tough on Bush. [Of course, if it were limited to FoxNews coverage, you'd probably see dramatically different numbers in the opposite direction.]

But let's just look at the numbers they've given us. 33% think the media is too easy on Kerry. That means 66% (or 2/3rds) think the media is fair or too tough on Kerry, right? Isn't that the real story? I mean, 2/3rds is the percentage of Congress it takes to override a Presidential Veto for god sakes. Winning an election with 66% of the vote is a landslide. Yet Fox switches the numbers so that they can run the tagline "too easy on Kerry" across the bottom of your screen every twelve seconds. This is marketing, not media. And it's certainly not objective news reporting.

Same goes for being too tough on Bush. 42% think yes, but 58% think no. That means a clear majority of Americans think the media is doing a damn fine job of putting GW in the hotseat, or better yet, should turn up the heat even higher. That's the story, folks. GW deserves the heat he's getting, says America. Fox may wish to spin a different message to its viewers but the numbers it uses betray its agenda. I mean, would Fox have run the headline "33% think war is wrong" on the day we invaded Iraq? I think not."

P.dro Classic emulator

Iraqis Arrest Four in Berg Beheading
more great intelligence:
Four people have been detained in the killing of American Nicholas Berg, whose decapitation was captured on videotape, an Iraqi security official and a U.S. military official said Friday. The Iraqi official said the group that killed Berg was led by a relative of Saddam Hussein.

The Digital Landfill


Transit Headquarters: Venus Crosses the Sun June 8

Dan's New Gallery of Scary Clowns

Boycott Gillette
/RFID tag freakout site

TGSNT :: Runnerup "Souvenir"

Ok, this site, "the greatest story never told", is a place where people put their flash movies. There was a contest of some kind and this linked one was the runner-up. There are no words, and it is pretty, but I can't tell what actually takes place.

Insult-o-matic by Yucko

Fake Cop Nabbed With Naughty Badge - May 14, 2004
check out the fake badge

There is a chance this is real...
Andy Kaufman Returns
Andy Kaufman's weblog?


fuck this | The I hate my job blogging community News | America's laziest fascist

Elwood "Woody" Norris makes cool inventions, like the Aural laser

I mentioned a while back something you might hear a guy in a small town say: "But can he outrun a bullet?"

I've heard it myself, and one of my favorite things about living in the city is that you don't have to hear every jackass say dumb crap like that. This is the equivalent of that idiotic non sequitur:

Solely intended to make people feel good. They need to feel good, too, because the world wasn't created by a magical man from outer space.

I thought of something girls from small towns say, too: "I'm not that bored and you're not that lucky!" That one's cute in a sad way.

Dennis Hastert, who was too fat to serve in Vietnam, gives John McCain, who spent five years as a prisoner of war in Vietnam, a lecture on the sacrifices of war


McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Daily Reason to Dispatch Bush

"The USA Patriot Act, signed in 2001 by President Bush, allows the government to indefinitely detain immigrants, and conduct searches and surveillance without the Fourth Amendment's rule of probable cause.

In February, 2004, the President explained that the U.S. is facing a deficit of $500 billion, the largest in American history, because "we went through a recession, we were attacked, and we're fighting a war." But the non-partisan Congressional Budget Office found that the single biggest cause of the deficit was the President's tax cuts for the wealthy. (The top 1 percent of earners get an average $52,000 tax break this year, and the majority of taxpayers only get $850.) Specifically, 36 percent of the deficit resulted from tax cuts, and only 31 percent resulted from defense/war-related spending increases. The remaining 33 percent of the deficit was caused by economic recession.

The President released a signed report in early 2004 that promised to create 2.6 million new jobs this year. When economic statistics estimated much lower numbers, the President claimed he never signed the report, and would not comment on the quoted figures. The administration predicted 2,142,000 new jobs would be created in the first seven months after the 2003 tax cuts took effect. Only 296,000 jobs were created in that period.

The Bush Administration's "Clear Skies Initiative," announced in 2002, allows 125 percent more sulfur dioxide, 68 percent more nitrogen oxide, and 420 percent more mercury air pollution than existing laws."

-citations onsite

Jon Stewart's ('84) Commencement Address: "We declared war on terror. We declared war on terror -- it's not even a noun, so, good luck. After we defeat it, I'm sure we'll take on that bastard ennui."

Michael Moore Hates America
"Contrary to its title, "Michael Moore Hates America" isn’t a hatchet job on the filmmaker. It’s a journey across the nation where we meet celebrities, scholars and average folks alike, all of whom are living the American Dream and proving that America is a great place to be! In the process, we’ll look at Michael Moore’s claims about the country, its people, and our way of life."

As much as I think Michael Moore should just make movies and stop with the publicity stunts, our American way of life was more interesting before it disappeared and corporations took over. I ask you, reader, what is the American way of life? What's different about what we do here that makes it better? When they say America is a great place to be, what does that mean? You see right underneath this where it says "comments"? That's where you say stuff if you don't agree with me. Then we talk it over. That's what's great about blogs. You participate. So unless you pipe up, I'm going to assume we're in agreement.

The Walrus Magazine | Game Theories
Economist discovers real-world value of online currency. Everquest, the online game, is the seventy-seventh richest country in the world and it doesn't even exist.

Apartment Complex -- Unwired - Education - Teen Sent Home From Ceremony For 'Revealing' Dress

GOYK.COM - How to tell when a relationship is over in ninety seconds.

Julie Strain

scribble clock

Ananova - Childless couple told to try sex

A close look at the wonderbra's contribution to our lives.

Dodge ball is makig a comeback May 18, 2004

According to daypop, this is the most popular story in the blogosphere right now
Nick Berg's Killing: 50 Fishy Circumstances, Contradictory Claims, and Videotape Anomalies ||

gunther video. you touched my tra-la-la?

Passion: Can't Get Enough: Small

Singing Science Records

Covering Up With The Ass Sweater

Anti-Porn hillbilly propaganda song -- "Please Don't Go Topless, Mother

gallery of Pwn3D!1
maybe NSFW

Famous People Looking Horrible animal photoshop contest

The 100 Worst Porn Movie Titles !

Bad Neighbour

Today in history:

1954: The U.S. Supreme Court declared racially segregated public schools were inherently unequal in its landmark Brown vs. the Board of Education

1943: In an address to the US Congress, British Prime Minister Winston Churchill pledged his country's full support in the war against Japan

1992: Vice President Dan Quayle criticized the CBS sitcom "Murphy Brown" for having its title character decide to bear a child out of wedlock.

(I love the word "wedlock". Sounds like a pro wrestling move. "Jack I can't believe what I'm seeing out there! First a triple thunderclaw off the top rope and now Herculon, yes, he's.. OH NO!!! Herculon's got Mighty Mongo in a wedlock! The hold that's illegal in forty-four states, Jack!!! He's totally insane!!!)

1998: Millions of pagers nationwide stopped working when a communications satellite, the Galaxy Four, suddenly lost track of Earth.

(First person names me the 24th and 4th channels on Galaxy 4 gets a dollar. Bonus dime for Transponder 3 channel 2)

2161: Syzygy: 8 of 9 planets aligned on same side of sun

Umm. Ok.

1992: Ric Flair wins NWA wrestling title

1979: "In The Navy" by Village People hits #3

1954: Postmaster General Summerfield approves CIA mail-opening project

1943: Berlin is declared "Judenrien" (free of Jews)

1848: Mexico gives Texas to US, ending the war


1945: Peter Townshend
1952: Grace Jones
1952: Joey Ramone

I want the new google messenger! But it doesn't exist yet. Bummer.


Yesterday and today I've posted the "today in history" sheet in the pharmacy where I work. Today, daringly, I included the "colored waiting room that way" sign too. When I went to put it up, someboday had left a nasty scribble on yesterday's. It said "are you using company time to do this?" and some other stuff about how I was lazy. It was signed "a stranger". Well the mixture of attitude and intellect it took to write that note could only be a few people (because of the attitude, mind you), and when I was hanging the second one it became clear that my hunch was correct. It was Beth. Beth starts in on how long it must have taken to do that (it was in reality less than a minute) and how she doesn't think it's right. Beth is the biggest slacker of all time, and she has resisted my blatant proclomations that this is so with an apathy usually reserved for the mentally handicapped, so this time I took it in a different direction.
I said something very close to the following.
"Thanks to you, Beth, I've seen the light. Even though it took less than a minute to do that, I'll do things around here even faster than before. In fact, when I'm sitting in the bathroom later I'll be think ing of you as I squeeze extra hard, so I don't steal company time."

Did she get it? Of course not. But the other girl who was standing there did. So ha ha. And fuck your standards for water cooler talk too, Beth.

today in history:

2001: Douglas Adams dies of heart attack at 49

I'm tempted to leave it at that.

323 Alexander the great dies
1980 Mt St Helens erupts
1933 TVA created
1896 Supreme Court endorses "separate but equal" racial segregation with its Plessy v. Ferguson decision, a ruling that was overturned 58 years later with Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka

1804 the French Senate proclaims Napoleon Bonaparte emperor
1872 Bertrand Russell born
1863 Siege of Vicksburg, MS
1864 Battle of Yellow Bayou, LA (Bayou de Glaize, Old Oaks)
1982 Unification Church founder Rev Sun Myung Moon convicted of tax evasion

Also, it's Fungal Infection Awareness Month,Fibromyalgia Education and Awareness Month, and Healthy Baby Month.

Matt Bridges Automated GameOgraphs: Kings/Timberwolves Game 6.

Analyze Your Internet Privacy
Wow. I have no privacy.

Welcome to Bush is Lord
"Our purpose is to bring you documentation to our media-supported claim that George W. Bush is indeed not only our nation's leader, but our spiritual lighthouse and embodied salvation."


Ohio State Highway Patrol -- Video Gallery

gmail swap
sucks to be without gmail...

More than 65 individuals face child pornography distribution charges after a six-month investigation of peer-to-peer (P2P) networks, according to federal officials.


Stupid excerpt: The General Accounting Office concluded in a report released last year that the risks of inadvertent exposure to pornographic content using P2P software are no greater than those posed by other Internet applications, but the exploding popularity of the file-sharing software has raised concerns that they are providing a safe haven for child pornography traffickers.

That's total crap. P2Ps are FULL of pictures of naked kids, so unless by inadvertent exposure the general accounting office means the person looking for a copy of ""happy happy all the time" by the disney gang and bingo the silly puppy" found little kimmy spread eagle, it's wrong. Inadvertent is a stupid word here. People don't inadvertently download pornography much (though on Kazaa it happens occasionally). When they do dowload pornography on a P2P, they get all kinds of crazy garbage. They advertently wanted to see some tits, but they got little kimmy spread eagle very inadvertently indeed. Then because of the nature of the network, they've already had a chance to "distribute" it again automatically, so there you go. A man wants to look at boobs, he gets five years. Minimum. End of story, do not pass go, collect HIV in prison. The justice system is Out Of Control when a person can do so little and get in so much trouble:

"The maximum federal sentence for the distribution of child pornography is 20 years in prison. The Protect Act, enacted on April 30, 2003, also created a mandatory minimum sentence of five years in prison for the crime. If an individual committed a prior sex abuse offense, the mandatory minimum is 15 years in prison and the statutory maximum is 40 years."

You go looking for pornography, which is legal, and you go to prison. That's what cyberwar on crime bought us. Another usage of inadvertent springs to mind: "inadvertent possession". It's possible, and if you take the amount of people who got, (meaning have had in the strictest prosecutorial sense) child pornography on a P2P network, then that is a very, very large number. They're not collectors, though.

But differentiating between "collectors" and "accidental possessors of" is not anything you will ever hear of, because we live in an age of impressionism, when TeeVee leaves flavors of reality in the public's mouths, and actual thought is not encouraged. For euphemistic labeling, think "clear skies initiative", "healthy forests initiative", and "USA PATRIOT act". John Ashcroft doesn't want you thinking about pornography either.

The obscenity is in the eye of the beholder, and by making war on images of naked children, the justice department is giving us a war on each other. Moms already buy digital cameras because Mega-marts won't develop photos of their fat, cute little naked babies, but now those moms can go to prison for it if somebody gets them hooked up to a P2P without her knowledge. And that's why I play devil's advocate. Normal people stand to lose out huge. You want to let "let the eagle soar" John Ashcroft tell you what reality is? I don't. I don't want to subvert the facet of conventional wisdom, the facet of reality that says naked children are cute, to the Ashcroftian ideal of morality, which tells us "naked children = evil".

Just because some pervert might get a kick out of something we think is cute doesn't mean we outlaw the thing that is cute. A blanket indictment of all naked children for inciting this with their bodies is insane. Among other things, it might give the kids the impression that yes, they are actually very sexy. That's the weirdest thing that could possibly ever happen, and the "moral majority" witnesses this in silence. It's a complacent conspiracy.

And another thing. If the justice department has actually managed to construct a test that can determine whether a person wants to see kiddie porn to have a sexual kick or to put bad guys behind bars, I'd like to see it. "But then it wouldn't be secret any more and everybody would know how to fake it!" Bullshit. We're talking about two people doing the exact same thing, only some are right and some are wrong. It's not like any other kind of law enforcement ever done. It freaks me out, conjures images of a totalitarian, repressive regime that regulates information. Oh yeah, which is what it is.

Why can't people use their brains a little bit instead of jumping a mile every time somebody talks about kiddie porn? People would rather throw folks in jail for the rest of their lives for having a picture of a naked kid than actually consider for a moment that it's possible the kids weren't taken advantage of, weren't to their knowledge sexualized in the process. And while the majority of pictures collectors of child pornography possess may very well be exploitative, there are a couple that aren't. It just makes worse the disaster that innocent men are incarcerated every damn day in this country. I wish I'd taken pictures of myself naked as a child in all kinds of provocative poses so I could distribute them, just to make people f***ing think a little bit about this. Because that's what it would take these days.

I've been doing this "today in history" thing for a couple of days as a morning ritual, and I just found out something cool when I was looking for things for tomorrow.

The internet enables us to look into the future.

Here's an example. It's ready to roll out, has actually been published, but isn't meant to be seen until tomorrow. I wonder what else you can find if you look it up. My spidey-sense is going wild with conspiracy fantasies.

Banner of Liberty?
"Truth, Honor, Courage, Freedom, Morality, Justice"
I'd go through these one by one but I have to head off to work, maybe later

today in history

1536 Anne Boleyns 4 "lovers" executed
1883 Buffalo Bill Cody's 1st wild west show premieres in Omaha
1915 National Baptist Convention chartered
1925 Cleveland Indian Tris Speaker gets his 3,000th hit
1940 Germany occupies Brussels, Belgium & begins invasion of France
1942 Dutch SS vows loyalty to Hitler
1944 General Eisenhower sets D-Day for June 5th
1946 Pres Truman seizes control of nation's railroads to delay a strike
1948 Soviet Union recognizes Israel
1949 British government recognizes Republic of Ireland
1973 Senate Watergate Committee begins its hearings
1993 Intel's new Pentium processor unveiled



Lots of lightning closeby tonight.
I commemorate this in case it zaps me dead.

EFF: Let the Sun Set on PATRIOT

Ever heard of Ghawar?

Gal Luft: U.S., China Are on Collision Course Over Oil

what are people searching for?
Unfiltered Metaspy - MetaCrawler
/way old repost

"That's really what cost my son his life, the fact that the United States government saw fit to keep him in custody for 13 days without any of his due process or civil rights," Michael Berg said. --

A good beginner overview I posted this morning here

Here's a bunch of information on the subject:

Bloggers doubt Berg execution video - aljazeera

Conspiracy Planet - Killer Spooks - CIA/ Pentagon Psyops:Nick Berg Killed by Americans - conspiracy planet

The Great Satan: Let the conspiracy theories begin:

Nick Berg and Zacarias Moussaoui Linked

The next two are the best:

In the Absence of Truth from the White House, Conspiracy Theories Emerge About the Nick Berg Murder -- A BuzzFlash Reader Contribution

The Inconsistencies In The Story Of Nick Berg's Death :: Disinformation

today in history:

1792 - Denmark abolishes slave trade
1861 - Kentucky proclaims its neutrality
1866 - US Treasury Dept authorizes nickel
1869 - Cincinnati Reds play their 1st baseball game, win 41-7

the holocaust humanity forum -> conspiracy theory over nick berg video?: "was nick berg playing both sides, and caught in a double cross?"

this is supposedly a list of dying words of criminals before execution
How about this for a headline for tomorrow's paper? French fries.
Executed in electric chair in Oklahoma.
~~ James French, d. 1966

Google Keyboard Shortcuts

This won't mean anything to, well, any of you, but irc was IT a long time ago. And way too late, it's...

Max Weber presents the pit, a flash curiosity

Memecodes Overview
Randomly created pages trying to spawn offspring...
by mating search engine users arriving upon them.
This is cool.

city stats, my hometown

Fixed Gear Bicycles Bicycle Bikes Gallery
For my fixed gear buddy Justin

If anybody can tell me what this is, please email me. The button's over there ---> , but in case you're on a work-comp, I'm


It's not all that often that I post pornographic links. Or is it? Anyway, you've seen what the people of our planet have done with their bodies, and that's fine for them. What you haven't seen are these, videos of Godzilla and a woman in flagrante. It's bad and it's goofy, but maybe you'll watch it for the same reason people climb Denali, because it's there. NSFW

Big Spanish Culos
culos means "bottoms". So, um, Not Safe For Work

Condi Rice is Angry!!

the stupidest shoes ever.

As usual, I, Dale, am on the cutting edge, and you're coming with me, kicking and screaming, to the tree of knowledge.

It's not pleasant to dwell on the end of your life, and I'm not suggesting you do, but it is of some importance that we consider the years to come so as not to leave the world a wreckage of twisted, smoking metal. That the end of your life may come before the time in question is incidental, but what I'm asking you to consider is the end of a lot of lives, including (potentially) yours, your offspring's, their offspring's, and so on.

Anyway, the end of the world scenario in question tonight is related to oil production dwindling to nothing in the years to come. It is inevitable that this will come to pass, even though no one knows how much oil there actually is down there in the ground. What is not up for debate is how much our civilization, both national and worldwide depends on relatively cheap energy. There will come a point when we can't wag the family across the fruited plain in the RV every chance we get. But that's nothing. After reading the apocalyptic "the oil we eat" essay in Harper's monthly, I am convinced our civilization is headed the way of the mayans. Goodbye, everything.

It will indeed be a gruesome and horrific end, and every indignity man can conjure will manifest itself in our human brethren before it's over, in the name of survival. The faster it goes, the better for the health of the planet, really, because if and when we start burning the coal that's too far down to mine in order to use energy from the escaping gases, our planet will literally suffocate. Anyway, billions of deaths will be the result of starvation, fighting for food, demonstrating the mildness of Dante's imagination, yada yada yada.

The last gory days will be a scene of people tearing each other apart for sustenance. Th problem is, they'll be sinewy and relatively without nutritive value when that happens. Nothing can change this. However, something can be done to delay this, and in the process, a new wing of culinaria can be born...

That fast food gourmand seated in the cubicle next to yours isn't the lazy, sweaty pile of shit you always took him for, he's a meal, baby. The office chair creaking under his overstuffed integument is singing a song of underappreciated flavor. This is your big shot to suck the marrow of life, literally! That chuff's liver is so sopping with saturated fats it's like foie gras. Seriously, just ask a doctor. He'll tell you the same thing.

That guy isn't going to be any good to you when you're both starving to death, so take advantage while you still can, take advantage of metropolitanus agri-businessus meat-sapien!

He's a product. He sees only products. He could probably tell you the subplots of ten different sitcoms curently on the air, and you're the crazy one? I think not, amigo. To this inexcusable glob of tallow, the destiny of living on through you is, in a way, a greater accomplishment than he would have made anyway. Properly seasoned, the brains in that melon would yield more surprising delectations than the bland thoughts and memories slowly swirling therein would suggest. And (as if you needed it) another benefit of eating that guy, you won't have him to compete with any more. You world just got a lot tastier, my friend.

"No! We could never eat people!" you'll hear them say. However, if this actually happened, if people started eating other people, which they eventually will, and it was discussed, which it will be, whose side would most folks suddenly find themselves on, the Morlocks, or the Eloi? (Because some people don't know, these two types of people are found in the future in Jules Verne's The Time Machine. The Morlocks live under the ground and eat the Eloi, who live above it in a carefree utopia. Carefree other than the Morlocks eating them, of course.) Oh, they'll catch on. It's up to you to make it doable. So don't just sit there. Sharpen your cleaver and get to work on the sexy future!

Or not. But I think it's just a matter of time, and I'd eat somebody.

E. L. Doctorow on movies:

It is not that great and important films will no longer be made. But one can imagine a merger of film esthetics and profit-making incentives that, apart from the efforts of this or that serious and principled filmmaker, effects a culture of large, beautifully dressed, tactically pigmented, stimulating and only incidentally verbal movies that excite predetermined market tastes and offer societal myths that slightly vary with each recycling: films composed artfully from the palette of such basic elements as car drive-ups, interiors, exteriors, faces, chases and explosions.

And that's what I love about E. L. Doctorow.

If my life is what I think it is, an epic saga of stultifyingly mediocre proportions, then it is worthwhile to mention that I have given my girlfriend my cold. And a rough time it shall be for her. Sorry about that, if you're reading. It's going to be awful that you can barely breathe, your nose will be clogged, you will toss and turn, sleep not a wink, and spit up things we outside the medical field have no means of describing outside horrific metaphors, but the worst will be the pain. Your body will ache, and before it is over, you will beg for death. It will remind you of why we have language. My point, illustrated in an imagined dialogue, taking place between two women a hundred years ago. (The reason it's a hundred years ago is that back then births weren't drugged, painless procedures scheduled in day planners.)

So you've got a little one, I see.

Yes, two months.

I would've guessed. Got three of my own. This your first?


Hurt like hell, didn't it?

You ain't kidding! Holy sh....

and so on.

That's what we have language for, to relate to one another. Language was co-opted by marketing departments and media outlets, so everything sounds the same now unless it is spoken or written by a human being who just wants to relate to another one.

And I can relate to you, Joyce. My battle with the underestimated common cold gave me an appreciation for what the native americans must have felt as they died; the ones who probably called our common cold "the plague" as it killed them off in mind-boggling numbers.

Most of the suffering of my current "common cold" is over, leaving just the occasional sharp pain behind my eardrum and a nasally voice. It reminds me of when I was young and often had sinus infections. Once when I was young (I was a radio child) I called to request that the local deejay play in-a-gadda-davida and dust in the wind. This was a wet dream for the deejay; I later found out that in the "industry" these two songs and a couple more are called "shitters", because they are both so long that they afford the deejay the opportunity to leave the studio for a long time. The deejay might have been afraid the management would find out that he had played these song back to back so he cut our conversation onto a tape which he played on the air, right before the greatest half-hour of radio I've ever heard. It went like this:


Yes, my name is nale and i'n like to request a couple of songs please.



Ok, what would you like to hear, Dale?

In-a-ganna-navina an nust in the win.

Ok, comin' up. This is double you EX vee ell, Crossville."

So yeah, my one big radio performance in life was on a late-night small-town station, when I was embarrassed on the air for my chirpy, nasally voice. I am proud of the selections, though.

So now that the worst of the cold is over I can stop worrying about not having accomplished notoriety (any field would do as well as any other) and get back to what I do best, which is being fascinated by almost everything, and putting in an honest day's work. Not that I missed work for my cold. That was kind enough to occur on my days off.

Today in 1915, AT&T became the first company ever to have a million stockholders

Dale, hey, it's you, just wanted to remind you to print some of the stuff on here at work tomorrow.

Kurt Vonnegut's essay cold turkey
the metafilter-linked pdf about turnabout on the ebay scammer
the poli-sci thesis about the Iraq war rationales

Now get to work, you!

[edit. the Vonnegut article was brilliant with a capital B. Thanks for the tip. The other two were a problem; ebay scammer was clotheslined by network security courtesy of Novell, the the poli-sci thesis runs over 200 pages. thanks anyway, man. You're all right.]

So to the rest of you, read the Vonnegut article "cold turkey" (linked below). These times were made for a writer whose instincts and natural abilities are to make you feel warm and cozy, but who is aware that he can't do it, and will now, so to speak, tell you why. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll beg for more? No, you'll snicker, you'll cringe, you'll beg for mercy.

Bush administration has used 27 rationales for war in Iraq, study says
Taken from this paper - Poll: Support for Bush, Iraq war dropping - May 14, 2004
This, of course, is before we find Osama Bin Laden and WMDs in the desert out there.

Sports fact: The Minnesota Timberwolves can win a game without me getting drunk. I apparently can cheer well enough sober to make them win.


I won't lie, I saw this at metafilter.
Here's the link to the story, and here's the link from metafilter.
Very funny.

Yahoo! News - Rectal use of malarial drug can save lives
The drug dates to 340 a.d., that's a long time.

New York Post Online Edition: news
"[pictures] of sexcapades involving Pfc. Lynndie England were among the hundreds of X-rated photos and videos from the Abu Ghraib prison scandal shown to lawmakers in a top-secret Capitol conference room yesterday."

Yahoo! News - Bishop Issues Strong Anti-Abortion Edict
"Catholics who vote for politicians in favor of abortion rights, stem-cell research, euthanasia or gay marriage may not receive Communion until they recant and repent in the confessional, the Roman Catholic Bishop of Colorado Springs said."

Looks like the Catholic church wants your soul AND your vote. The catholic church will no longer be taken seriously, starting now.

I went to the DMV and the lady there cut through the red tape and took care of bidness. Damn. Like Ikiru.

I have a driver's license again, thanks in no small part to the efforts of Joyce, who just found out she passed her class and doesn't have to redo a paper. So it's a great day up in Minnesota.

I didn't have to retake the test or anything. It was surreal.

I don't know what got in my body and treated me the way Lynndie England treats Iraqi prisoners, but damn am I glad it's going away.

Apple pie helped. And the lovely Joyce made dinner, which also helped, even though my cold interfered with my fully appreciating its palette of robust and striking, delicate and balanced flavors. It might have been the greatest dish ever made, because it's the one that got away.

I ordered a movie off of ebay, then three days later, I ordered a magnifying glass. The magnifying glass showed, but the movie didn't. Hmm.


The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy -- Hitchiker's Movie Blog

The medications I have taken today:

four sudafeds
one 500mg vitamin C
two aspirins (325 I think)
one tylenol 3
a shot of robitussin (not DM, the regular one)

How I feel:
better, but still weak all over and hurty

Do I have pneumonia?
Not according to the chest X-ray

Well, a guy named Nick Berg bet his life against a fat paycheck and lost. That's the cold way of saying what happened. A guy I work with, the guy who had his eyes re-opened by the Jesus Chainsaw Massacre, couldn't stop talking about the Nick Berg beheading video. He watched it on the internet.

I've seen a beheading video on the internet and have no desire to repeat that.I know how shocking it is. Well, war is shocking. I feel like a heartless jerk for my opinion, but these Iraqis see us as evil.

Our president sees people as evil, too, and trying to figure out the visions that will reveal themselves to him and direct our foreign policy like the hand of god is the only way to try to figure out what escapade America's soldiers will be going on next. Actually, that's not true. Factor in the guys who stand to profit, and that'll help predict the future, too.

We're in a war with invisible enemies that could go on forever. But no war can go on forever, so the question I ponder as I think of all the things that are "evil" in president Bush's world is, how will it end? What will be the straw that breaks America's sense of entitlement? Will it be when the economy sags and we have to pay as much for gas as the rest of the world? Will it be the next depression? How will the generations who weren't around cope with having nothing? My guess is, we're in for a heapin' dollop of humility, the ultimate Christian virtue.

That humility might start with the family of Nick Berg. I'll bet we don't hear much from those guys in the press. I wonder if his family thinks our occupation of Iraq is a good idea. Our mythologies are wild-west in this country, and I'm thinking of the scene in the film Tombstone when Wyatt Earp nd his brother are riding out of town with thier other brother's corpse in the wagon. Some wise guy makes a crack about how bad it smells, and Wyatt rides off with his tail between his legs. After that, of course, Wyatt jumps off the departing train, goes back to Tombstone, and raises total hell, kicking everybody's ass for revenge. The line he says is "You tell them the law is coming! You tell them I'm coming . . . and Hell's coming with me! You hear?! Hell's coming with me!"

I don't know what took place in the actual town of Tombstone, but I'll bet you all the zinfandel in California it wasn't like the movie. Will the family of Nick Berg want the fiery-eyed revenge they saw in Kurt Russell, actor, who got his start in the action genre in the unwatchable "Escape from New York", or can grief help them re-orient themselves with reality, in which some of the time even big bad America just has to cut its losses and hit the dusty trail.

If the lesson of Nick Berg can be "mind your own business, America", he will be memorialized as a hero, in a kind of hero mythology less like the one we currently celebrate, and more like the one that is inevitable.

Cold Turkey, an essay by Kurt Vonnegut

Censored words unmasked: US intelligence exposed as student decodes Iraq memo.

BBC New puzzle for war code breakers

A questionnaire for American troops

1. The Bush administration cares about my life
a) a lot
b) pretty much
c) a little
d) none at all

2. The war in Iraq was intended to make the Iraqi people free
a) true
b) false

3. Some day the Iraqi people will thank us for making them free like we are
a) true
b) false

4. That day will come in __ years
a) 5
b) 10
c) 20
d) more than 20
e) n/a, the answer to #3 was false

5. President Bush went to war as a last resort
a) true
b) false

6. President Bush served his country during the Vietnam era
a) true
b) false

7. Getting a deal that keeps you out of combat and in America because your family is in politics is the same as serving your country
a) true
b) false

8. Freedom is the most important thing about being an American
a) true
b) false

9. American citizens are __ free when the government limits their rights and spies on them in the name of preventing terrorism
a) more
b) less

10. The USA PATRIOT ACT stands for
a) Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism
b) actually, a is right

11. Considering it amounts to the end of freedom as we know it, naming an anti-terrorism bill USA PATRIOT is a little strange
a) true
B) false

12. The USA PATRIOT act is a good name for something that limits the basic human rights that our country was founded upon
a) true
b) false

13. The fact that President Bush wants to make the USA PATRIOT act permanent _____
a) is an outrage
b) is ok with me I guess, I mean, he IS the President
c) doesn't matter
d) makes me love him even more than I already did, which is surprising, considering I loved his decision to go to war well enough to come over here and risk my life without any good reason for being here whatsoever

13. When people talk to me about how Bush may not be the greatest guy, I bring up Clinton, because winning the argument is more important than the argument making sense
a) true
b) false


This is, according to the new blogger interface, my 1,652nd post. Good job, me. In the time I've had this thing going, a lot's happened. Fortunately, it's all conveniently self-archiving, so I won't even bother going through it. Maybe if you pay me. Yeah, then I would.

I've been working at the pumps all day, making scores of TPN bags. TPN stands for total parenteral nutrition. Enteral means the passage from your mouth to your butt, and some patients are too sick to move nutrition through their bodies that way, so I make it PARenteral, which in this case means intravenous. We have two pumps, both made by Baxter, the Automix, and the Micromix. The micromix's scale isn't working right, so we have to add all volumes less than 1 ml by hand. And there are a lot of those. We make TPNs for babies at another hospital and they get a lot of additions. These are some of the best-nourished people in the world, these babies. We have to make it in a big bag to get the proportions right, but some of the babies are premature, so the actual volume they get is very small. One I looked at, the kid was getting just over an ounce of the stuff in a day's time. Funny to think a huge team of people spends all that time and does all the calculations, goes to all the trouble and keeps everything sterile, so that one kid can get less than an ounce of it.


ageproject :: Home

BBC develops 'alternative' codec
better video is on the way

How do you make sippin syrup? - Q&A

Mexican Department Of Defense Acknowledge UFOs In Mexico
acknowledging the unknown... something seems redundant about that

Mimicking Humpback Whale Flippers May Improve Airplane Wing Design
, think golf balls, dimples, drag... now why didn't WE come up with that?

various Not Safe For Work, confusing as hell pictures
elvis? (from
you're number one!
what a haircut
no parking
milk i mean steriods i mean milk anyone?
diversity in the workplace
too many passengers
not gonna happen
stupid obnoxious tattoo
dude, we're getting a dell!
a fishing trip
something tells me this guy is looking for love
disturbing fact!

Props to the lovely Joyce, who is on track to finish at the top of her class in nursing school!

The girl from a redneck trailer park who embarrassed the world's superpower

Dude, We Should All Be Chicks

castaway, the untold story, wmv

Oh, that liberal media...Clear Channel Creates New Entertainment Unit - Reuters

One man's day at work is another man's meaningless existential hell.

Anton Chekhov is back!


Life at TJ's Place
a blog by a strip club manager, very good, authentic

If I Get Out Alive
there is realmedia here about abuse in American prisons

costume rentals
Unbelievable dork factor

A tradition you don't hear of much outside of Scotland is getting 2 bottles of beer when going for the Sunday Morning papers. This is true.

A tradition you don't hear of much outside my house is pouring colorful substances in the toilet when having company over for the first time. This is also true. I don't know how that started.

the funniest thing ever.

Hatfield-McCoy Feud...Timeline

"Every day, I receive many transmissions. I attempt to decode and translate all that I receive. While there are still transmissions I cannot comprehend, many of them are making sense to me now. Of those that I understand, I can only reveal to you a small percentage. The rest must be locked away until the second coming of Zaxon."

"But all in all, it's been a fabulous year for Laura and me."
, President Bush, December 21, 2001
home to some funny videos

look at these pacifiers...
too funny

Hutchison Effect - American Antigravity

There were three pages on the internet that had "I am the ruler of the sea" on them. Now there are four. I heard that song in one of the Indiana Jones movies, it's what Indiana's friend sings right before the monkey dies as a result of "bad dates". I want to know that song. It was funny that a guy was singing a song about how he's the ruler of the sea, and it's funny that it isn't done more. The only promising lead I have has an uncached page that won't load.

Why am I thinking about "I am the ruler of the sea"? Because I am the ruler of the tylenol three. Dale had a little outpatient today. Dale is a little sore. Dale's surgeon was nice and talked about psychology with Dale during the whole thing. It's like the barber shop. Dale has to talk when there are blades close to his body, or in this case, inside it.

Dale is listening to "made" on lab 360's movie audio. It's one of the best things the internet has to offer, and I can say that with a degree of certainty, knowing it like I do. Benefit from my helpful tip. Get yourself an account over there and buy a coffee mug. They have a lot of great audio. The link's over there somewhere. ---->

Yahoo! News - Australian scientists claim breakthrough in teleportation

The Misunderestimated Man - How Bush chose stupidity. By Jacob Weisberg



"Sexual systems were reorganised when cells took on bacteria as mitochondria, he says, "but systems of genetic exchange were already in place, before the eukaryotic cell evolved". Genetic studies in bacteria have revealed that extensive gene exchange is the norm between different bacteria even though they do not have formal sexual reproduction."

wild flash site

picture of a duck, NSFW

monster garage segment in which Jesse blows up a car that didn't do what he wanted

geeky, geekier, geekiest

video of public sex on a busy street, in a box constructed of one-way mirrors
Win media.. NSFW

videos of a guy who can fly

white bits
/video Kitchen & Housewares: Solid Gold S.E.P. (Stop Eating Poop) (3.5-oz container)
"I am a poop addict. I now no longer have to don my ninja outfit and lurk in the bushes for the next poop to pass my way..."

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you: Lou Rawls

a couple of my favorite things:

"can he outrun a bullet?"
"you can't help who you fall in love with"

This explains a lot of things, including how i feel about nationalism

Rush Limbaugh on Iraqi torture

Top baby names have familiar ring


Brazil. The place to be for a great party. And the party will involve lots of anonymous sex.

Magic Bike :: Wireless Access Bike

Big Lebowski Dance page

SF Gate: Live Views: Live cameras with shots of the San Francisco Bay Area: Transamerica Building Cam

I've found a better salsa. My pace days are through.
Curt's Kitchen in Winsconsin makes a damn fine product.

There should be a company near you that will open your eyes to the miracle of good salsa, and of good food. It may not be regional cuisine, but "regional" cuisine has largely been co-opted and corrupted and done poorly by franchise food factories anyway. Remember great tacos? Me either. They were once really good, I would imagine, back when they weren't you-know-where.

For better living, I encourage all of you to support your local economies rather than the S&P 500 next time you're in the aisles. I will be buying the most expensive organic small farm beef I can find later, and have a burger made of one cow. If I have to pay five times what I otherwise would, that's fine, because I get to eat better.

subject lines from Dale's inbox

Here are a few questions for you
How would you like PERMANANT penis growth xsv zg vjf
you have a small one ahah nnoch o jh dezc y
you need this jxypswk pkkhxew
what is going now hlp xbzotpjklqv
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ASPO the Association for the Study of Peak Oil
many videos ensue

Bush family fortunes Greg Palasts new BBC Video : sf-imc
This file is incredibly huge

This video of hornets attacking a bee colony is very dramatic

Forthright's Phrontistery: Obscure Words and Vocabulary Resources

Wired News: Stealing Back the Airwaves
"As far as I'm concerned, the real pirates are the NAB (National Association of Broadcasters) and their member stations, they've stolen the airwaves with the full complicity of the FCC and Congress." - Canada to open prison tattoo parlors - May 4, 2004

Koert >>> Webcam - i think your life is far too hectic.....hey pal you really oughtta slow down.......heheheheh.

The American Assembler - States With Higher IQ Vote Democrat
/repost, but my other link didn't want to work.

miniature earth

word association

Calvin Pees...

bush and kerry family trees


I'm surprised that in this age of convenience, the convergence of cosmetic surgery and weirdoes hasn't created a person who wants to make his body as small as it can be and still be alive. Lop off the limbs, take away most of the abdomen, and there you go.

retired descriptions that I can recall, though there were many others:
you just don't get it, do you
a picnic on the runaway truck ramp
organized crime with chimp 'n' smarty (still don't know what that was about)
please bring me some juice

Giant human skeleton found in Saudi Arabia

Wellcome Laboratory of Neurobiology: Papers
for those of us trying to select a medical specialty...which I'm pretty sure only one is
I read the one about love and the one about consciousness -- don't see how a person could be uninterested in those two -- and feel like I can relate to the guy writing them. Zeki is his name. He's just a curious guy.

USB Floppy Disk Drive RAID

{fray} - the worm within


bush vs. bush realmedia

DefenseLINK: AFRTS Television News

Press Briefing by Scott McClellan
if you can watch it, try out this video


live nude girls. no, really. live nude girls.
not safe for work, video

index of real american heroes

andy singer dot com
see the satire!

On holding the door:

Probably the best way for a woman to insure that she has the door held for her is to wear tight pants.

Gentlemen have all the fun, and as for me, chivalry is not even close to dead. FREEOW!

Robert Morris
"A Method For Sorting Cows"

published in Art and Literature 11 (Winter 1967)

It is essential to have a long corridor or alley with a large room or pen off to one side and approximately halfway between the ends of the corridor. naturally the more cows being sorted the longer the corridor and the larger the pen. Two men are required to sort cows in the method presented here -- it can be done by one man but the effort required -- the running, the stumbling, the falling, the sweating, the panic of the animals -- all of these things make it impractical. Essentially, the 2-man method is as follows. The cows are driven into the corridor past the gate of the room or pen. The gate to the room or pen must swing open toward that end of the corridor where all of the cows are crowded. The first man continues with cows past the gate. The second man stops at the gate; he is the gate man. The other man is the head man and makes all the decisions. When sorting cows the gate man's subordinate station should be well understood. He must, for the sake of efficiency and safety, never question the head man's decisions. Now imagine that the head man is down by the cows at the end of the corridor, always keeping himself between the gate man and the cows and keeping the cows crowded up against the far end of the corridor. He can do this easily by making fidgeting gestures. This keeps the necessary level of nervousness up among the cows -- so long as the cows are milling around the head man can tell that he has them in the palm of his hand so to speak. When ready to sort the head man brings the cows to attention by suddenly raising both arms straight out, bending both knees slightly into a kind of ply, dropping the upper part of his body and at the same time jumping with the lower. The head man should practise this motion until it is a smooth movement, yet one which transforms his entire being into a state of absolute alertness, potentiality and authority. A good head man will transfix upwards of 30 cows with such a motion. After the ready-to-sort movement is made and the cows are stock still, nearly hypnotized, the gate man should place his feet well apart and get a good grip on his gate. He should be slightly crouched and concentrating on the head man. Slowly the head man will straighten up and walk toward the cows, keeping just to the right of center, if the gate is on the left. The cows will inch toward the left side as he inches toward the right. A crowding will occur in the left corner until one cow will bolt out and down the left side of the corridor past the head man. But this is exactly what the head man wants. he knows just what to do with this cow: as it bolts he screams "by" or "in". If it is the former the gate man flattens himself against the gate and attempts to become part of the wall; if it is the latter, he immediately springs out into the corridor pulling the gate open at about a 60-degree angle. The cow will dart into the pen and he slams the gate and freezes to immobility and intense concentration on the head man. The inching toward the right on the part of the head man, a cow bolting, the in or by scream, the immobility or action on the part of the gate man -- so it goes until all of the cows except the last have made their exit from the end of the corridor. The last cow is approached by the head man in a more lyrical and less tense way; usually the last cow is also somewhat more relaxed and knows what is expected of him. One might say that the last cow is "shooed" since the expert timing of the head man is now not required. The cow will usually trot rather than bolt down the corridor to its destined in or by place. The head man must then turn to his gate man and say, "That's the one we're looking for."

Average IQ by state and how they voted in 2000: notice a pattern here?


how Kerry got his medals

this is baffling. is Moon our king?

cure for cancer found, implementation to be difficult

entrepreneur du jour from maine charges people $1.99 a minute to hear them complain.

Nice bus, there, Mister Bush. Nice that it was MADE IN CANADA.

a collection of end-of-the-world scenarios

excerpt: "One thing is absolutely certain, though: it will be some gruesome, hellish end."

resume for high tech martyr

I am seeking a position that will utilize many years experience taking the blame for things that don't go as planned."

oopsy daisy, traffic cam caught a little accident.

Look at the face of the girl in the car to the left. That scream is priceless and is what makes this a piece of art.

jesus is watching you, flash movie

this passes for funny?

Trashola Comics by Josh Divine - all about life... - secrets online ... - tell us your story.

This is the same thing as grouphug, which I like more (except for the new crap hyperlinks which didn't used to be there)


For anyone who has ever read this page, it should come as no surprise that I don't subscribe to the belief that there will be a judgment day after I die.

I also don't believe that in the moments between living and dying, my life will flash before my eyes.

Imagine if your life did. Your whole life. Even that time you sat there and watched some stupid movie you knew you were going to totally hate, because your girlfriend or friend or wife wanted to. The whole movie would have to pass before your eyes if your whole life flashed by, and I just can't imagine that in the space of time it takes for a life to pass away, you'd see Titanic, a movie I proudly claim never to have seen despite the hype.

On the positive side of media-life-flashing-dying, you'd see that great joke on Airplane about "So unger was over over and Over was under Dunn". That would be a nice joke to die to.

If parts of my life somehow do flash before my eyes, I have several moments I'd like to request in advance. Like when I said the perfect thing to a girl I knew as I saw her for the last time, on which occasion 'the thing I'd usually have liked to have said looking back on it three weeks later' came out immediately as if said by someone else, someone truly amazing for their tact and style. I'd like to replay the times I told people what I really thought of them. I'd like to replay a couple of naps, the really good ones that I awoke from really alert. I'd like to see the time I threw a rock at a really hard target (a bird on a wire from far away) and hit it, and everybody saw it. Those are good things.

What I'll probably end up with are the times I spent waiting in line without anything to read, the times I sucked at the straw with nothing left in the glass and it made that gurgling sound just to see if I could annoy anyone, which it didn't, or the time I saw Trisha Yearwood play "she's in love with the boy" at the Christian County fair in West Kentucky.