Double Flee A

Good photograpy.

Good Princeton podcasts.

More good podcasts from WFMU.

posted by dale @ 10:45 PM 0 comments

Read, if you dare, this collection of Disgusting Sights Witnessed At Wal-Mart

posted by dale @ 6:55 PM 1 comments

dfa loves fagbug

posted by dale @ 12:16 PM 0 comments

posted by dale @ 10:23 AM 0 comments

write your congressman

Ever so often a hangover comes along that does not respond to over the counter medications. For this very uncommon yet serious condition, we need legislation that will solve the problem that has been caused by overaggressive domestic drug policy. What needs to happen is, for that one time a year that you over-overdo it, you can walk into a pharmacy and they have to give you a percocet. No bitching, no prescription, one pill, out the door. If you don't use yours it doesn't add up, just one pill per calendar year. How could that possibly be a bad idea?

posted by dale @ 6:43 PM 0 comments

the funny

2007 Research Grant Applications for the Institute of Applied Creation Science

posted by dale @ 8:55 AM 3 comments

two great websites

Every page is a dictionary when you make all words on the page clickable with lingro

And an ajax dictionary called definr. try it, it's speedy!

posted by dale @ 9:04 PM 0 comments

Happy holidays! You know which one I mean, but since I found out I could have a culture war with Bill O'Reilly and the right wing psychos by not mentioning which holidays, I'm not naming names if I can help it, ever again. Hell, I might even be talking about Ramadan or some other budget motel chain.

J and I will run down to Pago Pago for dinner with friends. We didn't make it to no country for old men last night but I have it from three very good sources that when he goes to mexico it turns from a movie you have to see in the theater, to merely rentworthy. We'll be going to see it Monday.

I need a weather widget so I can show you all how great it is here every time you click my page. Right now it's 81 and partly cloudy. I sweated my ass off all summer and now it's payback time. On the condition that I'm the one being paid back, I'm a huge supporter of payback time.

I think I found a widget. Let's see.

posted by dale @ 1:09 PM 1 comments

the best dancers ever

Myspace is shit so I'm sorry to do this to you. But.

http://www.myspace.com/peerpressure5

posted by dale @ 11:21 PM 0 comments

Before you click on this, see if you can guess what conservatives are thinking about.

Conservapedia: Most viewed pages

posted by dale @ 8:09 PM 5 comments

I am really looking forward to seeing no country for old men. I like movies about violence as long as they're not documentaries, snuff films, abu ghraib footage, or that home video where me and some pals killed that drunk hobo.

Tonight finds me preparing for the day of thankfulness. I'm offsetting the gratitude to come by taking things for granted extra much, so I won't waste it when turkey day gets here. The dinner I had was meh, ok I guess and the accompanying beverage was so-so. My health I can't complain about although I could have felt better if I'd just climbed a mountain, and even though I wasn't fighting with anyone or afraid of anything, and even though my family and friends are healthy I still have a kind of ennui about it. I mean, does it really matter that I have a good job and that every day it's more or less a huge pleasure to be alive? Not for me. Because I'm getting ready for thanksgiving by celebrating "not-a-shit-giving".

As for Christmas, everyone's getting Walker, Texas Ranger DVDs this year. I have no choice but to to support a man who I'm convinced is perpetrating the greatest surrealist performance art of our time, because no one can seriously be this stupid. Except Zack. More on him later.

Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kicks Separation Of Church And State:


My friend John looked out his window and saw his neighbor vacuuming leaves off his sidewalk and called me. He often calls me on these occasions, which I love. A couple days later John called me again. Zack had just come over to say hi and drink a beer, and related the following.

Zack's got a wet/dry shop-vac in the garage, but he looked at the leaves and they were dry. Of course, he got the regular "dry" vacuum out of the house. He used it until its bag was full, then changed it, and repeated this process until he ran out of those bags. Before she left him, his wife had kept the house well stocked, so there were now twelve full bags lined up in the front yard waiting to be picked up by the city.

It's not a very long stretch of sidewalk Zack's responsible for, but the leaves were deep and plenty remained. Zack reasoned that he would make his own vacuum liner bag, using a trash bag and duct tape.

The technical details are foggy, but when Zack switched on the vacuum the leaves stayed put, there was a smell of burning plastic and the vacuum quit working. Now it won't even turn on. After being asked, John said he didn't know a lot about vacuum cleaner repair, and that's where the situation currently rests.

Since I forgot to tell you this before, and since according to New Order it's never enough until your heart stops beating, there's another Zack anecdote, about the time he tried to defrost his frozen-on gas cap using a cigarette lighter. John was able to stop him before he killed himself, and it was a wise choice, because Zack is free entertainment too valuable to allow to explode.

That's all for now.

posted by dale @ 6:46 PM 0 comments

life lessons

Don't get that thing stuck in there.


Let go of the firecracker in time.


Believe in something enough to get shot by riot police. Rock on, Olympia.

posted by dale @ 7:59 AM 0 comments

in which i prove the ability to scribble with a keyboard

Here comes christmas. The stockings are hung by the chimneys, boughs of holly bedeck the hallways, and I'm looking for new excuses to get fat since inclimate weather is off the list. It was 81 and sunny today here in Naples. I was roasting in a long sleeve t-shirt.

Think about that, ladies.

Now knock it off before you get busted moaning and people start asking questions. You whore.

Decorating for the big old holiday is going well; we put up a tree today, the pipe cleaner variety has made major strides to legitimacy in my opinion.

Of all my hobbies I think radiation oncology has to be the most illegal.

Anyway, if anyone wants to go fishing we're chartering one of those first-mate manned jobs on the 26th, a week from today.

In other news, I make the world's finest bloody mary. Mentioning that will hopefully serve a dual purpose of explaining the tone of this post. Woman is a mystery, but man is a simple creature with two moods: regular and drunk.

Likewise. we have only the two seasons here. Regular and tourist. The latter is characterized by sluggish traffic on and off the road. Old people abound in their slow, necessary way, in giant cadillacs fuelled by more literal dinosaurs. Sitting stationary behind the season people at a green light it occurs to me vividly I'd like to cut the car out of the equation and douse them with gasoline directly. Imagination eases the pain.

posted by dale @ 5:09 PM 1 comments

manatee vs. matinee

manatee:
also known as the sea cow
herbivore
fat
looks happy to me
evolved out of the ocean and then back in again
naked and loving it

matinee:
low price
small crowd
the latest stuff
potential blowjob from alanis morisette
large popcorn
good seats

winner:

posted by dale @ 6:14 PM 0 comments

posted by dale @ 7:31 AM 4 comments

brilliant: new stereotypes

posted by dale @ 7:05 AM 0 comments

it's the internet!

Which fast food is the worst, by category.

Here's a sunlight map of he world. I think it might even be live.
Study shows that
Low Self-Esteem and Materialism Goes Hand in Hand

Put a ribbon on your website. If it's good maybe I'll steal your idea.

10 brilliant social psychology studies, including "how and why we lie to ourselves: cognitive dissonance"

posted by dale @ 7:31 AM 4 comments

television

posted by dale @ 7:16 AM 0 comments

fuck the rules

posted by dale @ 6:21 PM 0 comments

Hey, Motherfucker, this is a Public Service Announcement.

Science has just discovered that Hip-Hop and Rap are totally different in many important ways.

Motherfucker.

Rapping requires writing rhymes and somehow involves turntables. Hip-Hop is a painting on the canvass of my attitude.

Motherfucker.

Rap is all about jewelry and dollar signs. They’ve even got jewelry dollar signs.

Hip-Hop, on the other hand, likes to wear this Yankees cap that I am currently wearing. Hip-Hop would like to ask that if you borrow my Yankees cap, please return it in a timely fashion.

Rap is an element of a certain kind of music. Hip-Hop, by contrast, is a nebulous cloud of energy that shares my views on Globalization.

This is a Public Service Announcement.

I’m like McGruff the Crime Dog. But I say, “Take a Bite Out of Rap.”

I have a character I call Whitey. Whitey loves sailing. But Whitey hates poor people. If a hobo points his sailboat at Whitey’s, Whitey takes evasive maneuvers.

Rap has no position on American’s foreign policy. Hip-Hop finds it imperialistic. Hip-Hop says that the CIA needlessly meddles in foreign lands. God I love music!

When I look at someone I give them a Hip-Hop rating, ranging from 1 to 10. Send me your photo and autobiography, and I will send you your Hip-Hop number. Society depends on it.

This has been a Public Service Announcement.

You can learn a lot from a dummy.

Motherfucker.




Nicholas Moore (2007)

posted by dale @ 6:10 PM 0 comments

RIP

Norman Mailer died.

With their dominance in sport, at work and at home eroded, Bush thought white American men needed to know they were still good at something. That's where Iraq came in...

posted by dale @ 8:25 PM 1 comments

the ugly guy can hold more eggs than you!

posted by dale @ 7:45 PM 7 comments

hongry

posted by dale @ 8:43 PM 0 comments

Bedroom media isn't a porn site, it's just lots of streaming videos of all kinds.

posted by dale @ 8:30 PM 1 comments

posted by dale @ 7:39 PM 0 comments

My wife's on vacation, not as the picture implies, "vacation". I need some help thinking of things to do, so let me know all the wonders of the universe that married life has made me forget about.

Maybe I'll watch a movie.

posted by dale @ 8:03 AM 0 comments

somebody's post about fascism

Have fun in your little made-up universe where the government comes to round you up and you manage to fight it off.

In the real world, fascism is when the corporations and governments work as a single entity, and you can wander around with your fucking gun all you want. In fact, you'll have to wander around, because the government/corporations took your house and your car, and no one will hire you.

At which point you'll be arrested, not as some big anti-government hero by jackboot thugs, but for stealing bread to live on, by a perfectly normal cop who's just doing his job, a job that absolutely no one except you disagrees with, so when you shoot and kill him you're getting the electric chair and no one thinks you're a hero at all.

There are different types of totalitarian governments, and assuming a fascist one operates like a communist one is faulty. Fascist governments don't put troops in the streets...they work with corporations to make sure 'the wrong sort of people' do not have any economic power, and do not have anywhere to peddle their ideas.

Modern fascist states don't even bother to kill those people, and pretending they're going to show up in some stormtrooper outfit and start a gun battle with you is insane. They'll show up with a court order to evict you from your home because you failed to pay your mortgage, because pressure came from the top at your company to let you go. Or they'll just sue you and ruin your finances.

America is not a bunch of tiny castles where, as long as you can hold off the invading armies, you will be fine. The idea that that is how the world works is astonishingly naive. Almost all the population of America lives in housing they do not fully own, they get food from places they do not control like the supermarket, they require operating in society for money to obtain said food and shelter, a society where economics are controlled by some very large players that can crush them like bugs.

And a fascist state isn't going to 'assume control', you asshat. There's not going to some insane coup, there's a going to be a slow change, which has, in fact, already happened, or have you not looked at the telecom immunity stuff? That's classic fascism. The government breaks the law, the government gets private companies to break the law, the government gives said companies huge amounts of cash, the government attempts to make such behavior legal retroactively. We've got government officials and AT&T officers leaping back and forth between each other in an incestuous loop. Your government spying on you, sponsored by AT&T. It's not 'totalitarian' yet, as evidenced by the fact Democrats managed to stop the immunity, but it is fascism, at least the start of it. (And the same thing's happened with Blackwater.)

Oh, and before you start ranting about gun control some more, be forewarned I'm against it. I'm just not stupid enough to think that the US government being slowly corrupted by business is something that can be fought off with gunpowder. Guns are useful to deter crime and to deter invasion. They aren't useful against a corrupt government in any meaningful way.

posted by dale @ 7:49 AM 5 comments

Why a salad costs more than a big mac

posted by dale @ 7:46 AM 0 comments