Saturday

Bozeman man accused of biting children

hilarious

The eXile is holding an open tender for a new columnist who can persuasively argue the impossible -

THAT GEORGE BUSH HAS BEEN RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING.


We're not going for "balance" here, folks. We're going for the spleen. In this case, our spleen. This is an open challenge. If you can successfully present to us three well-written, suitably infuriating columns of up to 1000 words in length, we will hire you as our new pro-Bush agitator.

Send your columns to editor@exile.ru

eXile - Issue #229 - Are We Wrong About Bush?

ABC News: Restaurant Shift Turns Into Nightmare

Too late for Christmas, but I still like to see dumb videos about the playboy bunnies.
Twas the night before christmas in the playboy mansion

This only works part of the time at work: the google proxy.

http://www.google.com/translate?langpair=en|en&u=www.forbiddensite.com

Just wanted it handy.

The Turnpike Prank: Avoiding Tolls On The Massachusetts Turnpike

The voices tell me I'm awesome.

Maybe the guys who say things are looking up in Iraq ought to go over there and do some good old-fashioned man-on-the-street interviews with the locals.

Yesterday two more U.S. soldiers were killed in Iraq, putting the American military death toll at 841 so far — just five short of 2004's lost lives despite political progress and dogged efforts to quash the insurgency.

I had a dream about Abraham Lincoln last night, and when you compare him to our current, um, leader, you really get the sense that something has been missing in this country for a long time, and it is difficult to say what. Whatever it is, it's probably got lots of syllables; something that Abraham Lincoln would be able to pronouce and understand.

Here's the beginning of a campaign speech he gave in 1860. Try to imagine Bush saying these words. Then set yourself on fire and jump off the empire state building.

Mr. President and fellow citizens of New York: -

The facts with which I shall deal this evening are mainly old and familiar; nor is there anything new in the general use I shall make of them. If there shall be any novelty, it will be in the mode of presenting the facts, and the inferences and observations following that presentation.

In his speech last autumn, at Columbus, Ohio, as reported in "The New-York Times," Senator Douglas said:

"Our fathers, when they framed the Government under which we live, understood this question just as well, and even better, than we do now."

I fully endorse this, and I adopt it as a text for this discourse. I so adopt it because it furnishes a precise and an agreed starting point for a discussion between Republicans and that wing of the Democracy headed by Senator Douglas. It simply leaves the inquiry: "What was the understanding those fathers had of the question mentioned?"


Here's the Bush version:

Mr. President and fellow citizens of New York: -

The facts I shall deal with this evening are mainly old and familiar; nor is there anything new in the general use I shall make of them. If there shall be any novelty, it will be in the mode of presenting the facts, and the inf.. inferences and observations following that presentation.

Freedom will prevail and the terrorists will lose. You shuffle the shuffle.

In his speech last autumn, at Columbus, Ohio, as reported in "The New-York Times," Senator Douglas said:

"Our fathers, when they framed the Government under which we live, understood this question just as well, and even better, than we do now."

The founding fathers had a vision of freedom for every American. Freedom from evil.

I fully endorse this freedom, and I adopt it as a text for this discourage... discourse. I so adopt it because it furnishes a precise and an agreed starting point for a discussion between Republicans and that extreme liberal wing of the Democracy headed by Senator Douglas. It simply leaves the inquiry: "What was the understanding those fathers had of the question mentioned?"

Stop throwing the Constitution in my face, it's just a goddamn piece of paper.


I am embarrassed every day by this man.


klong

Friday

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
more

Smut!

open source sex,
an audioblog.

Journal E: Without Sanctuary: Lynching Photography in America

complaints

About half of mine have been about how there's too much linking and not enough of my story telling, and about half is the opposite, so I figure there's a good enough balance and I tend not to fool around with the format.

Yesterday, however, I got a complaint about having good looking women on here and not enough hot dudes. It was a female who wrote, and I was forced to consider posting pictures of hot dudes here for the ladies to enjoy.

Thanks for asking, but not gonna happen.

If you want a website devoted to dudes with washboard abs and so forth, make one yourself. Pretty much the only dudes you will find here are ones I'm making fun of.

Here are some random photos which I am not formatting properly in protest of blogger's photo tool not working worth a shit.







BBC's 10 'WORST' Britons by century

1900 to 2000: Oswald Mosley (1896-1980)
1800 to 1900: Jack the Ripper
1700 to 1800: Duke of Cumberland (1721-1765)
1600 to 1700: Titus Oates (1649-1705)
1500 to 1600: Sir Richard Rich (Lord Rich of Leighs) (1496/7-1567)
1400 to 1500: Thomas Arundel (1353-1414)
1300 to 1400: Hugh Despenser (The Younger) (died 1326)
1200 to 1300: King John (1167-1216)
1100 to 1200: Thomas Becket Archbishop of Canterbury (c.1120-1170)
1000 to 1100: Eadric Streona (died 1017)

Thursday

print

Long Sunday: Democracy to Totalitarianism

show of hands?

WSJ.com - Many Americans Still Believe Hussein Had Links to al Qaeda

wolcott not gay

But in this post: James Wolcott: Headhunters (II)

He reminds us who is.

Wired News: Hackers Rebel Against Spy Cams

Warning, evil NUDITY!
naked woman in forest

McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Stories Ending With "Long Story Short" That Could Actually Use Some Elaboration.

DoCopenhagen: Top 50 Music Videos Of 2005

real or fake?

Fishki.Net - ??????? ??? | ??????? ???????
NSFW

Bush's Desolate Imperium

Every ten years or so, the United States needs to pick up some small crappy little country and throw it against the wall, just to show the world we mean business.
-- Michael A. Ledeen

Wednesday

Games and Simulations at Nobelprize.org

If I get bored and have nothing to read, I plan to print some of these off.
Complete List of Science Corner Articles

I did not know that

City Pages - The Blotter - Whites only in Edina

not really

Fall to the Death - Google Video

rednecksurfing.wmv - Google Video

dead actors



It's true that It's time to make the donuts in heaven

and






Character Actor Vincent Schiavelli has bitten the dust,

but no dead strange actor list is complete without the master, Marty Feldman.



Boys, we hardly knew ye.

It is not bigotry to be certain we are right; but it is bigotry to be unable to imagine how we might possibly have gone wrong.
- GK Chesterton

Tuesday

The story of wheat | Economist.com

EarthCam - 25 Most Interesting Webcams of 2005

James Wolcott: Headhunters

The class acts at Little Green (Brown) Footballs (Shirts) want Wolcott's head on the floor of an Iraqi garage.

Monday

Got an hour and some bandwidth to kill?
Loose Change 9-11 Alex Jones Conspiracy - Google Video

the worst e-card of all time, period.

christmas is over


Resume obsessive patriotism, bitches!

devil's in the detail

From this auction: eBay: Vintage Watchmaker's Tool:
"From the estate of a local watchmaker, this item came from his workbench. I showed this to a local horologist and he was unfamiliar with its' function."

The old watchmaker had to make things. The new horologist obviously doesn't, and that's pretty weak. This is all basic graver stock and a slot cutter. I don't know about the round one, but it could be for working pivots.

Sunday

Wrestling Fan Loses It

A podcast all about rock music, Sound Opinion

uncle

Every year the same music plays from the day after thanksgiving till Christmas. That's a little over a twelfth of the year. I'll turn thirty next year and I've spent my entire life in the states.

Crank all this data through your think bone and what comes out is that I have spent well over two solid years of my life listening to the same Christmas music. I can't estimate the effect this monotony has had on my mind, but I have a feeling it isn't for the best.

Listening to the same music might not bother some people, but I am not one of them. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired of Christmas music. Maybe next year I won't go anywhere from Thanksgiving till Christmas is over.

You know what you can learn, what you can do, in two years? A hell of a lot more than listen to the same goddamn carols grinding out, day after day after day.

Christmas Carols, you suck!

--+update+--
I was a little hard on the Christmas Carols. I think it's just the media saturation that bothers me. Life evolved for millions of years without the benefit of sound reproduction technology, and I am feeling the resulting culture shock at this time of year. Suddenly it's winter and everywhere you go you're inside, and all those places are places you have to spend money to be in, and they play whatever they want, which is invariably Christmas music. I don't know how that war on Christmas worked out, if Christmas died or whatever, but I didn't hear any Ramadan or Kwanzaa carols anywhere I was this year. Maybe in red state America, where there are lots of terrorists and that's why it's cool if we give up our freedom, they play lots of songs about Allah at Wal-Mart. I guess they must, really, for all the bitching I hear out of them about multiculturalism.

So sorry Christmas Carols, but you're overplayed, and it's not your fault I don't like you. I probably wouldn't like Bob Seger if the clossic rock station overplayed him either. Hmm. Maybe I'll go play a little "On the road again" later.

Forgive my brevity, but I don't want to ruin your experience of Dear Mister Jesus.

the 40 best pictures of the year, according to REUTERS

Burningbird � Year in Pictures

print

The art of melancholy - Times Online

damn kids

Federal agents' visit was a hoax: 12/ 24/ 2005

Saturday

Time is it to arrest our speculations respecting unseen worlds and inconceivable mysteries, and to address our inquiries to the improvement of the human condition.
-- Francis Wright

This is God's power and he sent this thing to warn us ... we needed a shock.
-- Pat Robertson, remarking on the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, quoted by Robert E. Norlander in a dispatch of September 14, 2001

most ineffective dig ever?

You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you.
-- Carly Simon

If I think about that too long my brain melts.

As I was walking in from the parking ramp to work on this balmy winter morning, I was thinking about what Randy had said to me about how neoconservatism has pomo in its back pocket. Contemplating the slick salesmanship necessary to haul the poor into the modus operandi of the rich, it hit me how Randy was right.

I hardly need to address the different levels on which information exists, since we're already in the metaverse of the blogosphere. But since it's a practical application, here goes.

Postmodernism is, among other things, the abstractionism of information. All things assume a non-hierarchy of total meaninglessness in the disjointed and complex and varied mediums of information dissemination.

How neocons have appropriated this situation is to use the sense of non-reality to equate some information with other information, some of which is essentially false, but not only false; outright surreal. Once every argument becomes detached from fact, i.e. in hack punditry, the basic facts are beaten senseless in the gray wash of sheer volume. As facts become muddy and eventually immaterial, beliefs become the new important criteria by which things are judged.

Fox news's ratings are good, even if the "news" is made specifically for ratings' sake. Joe Citizen feels good when he watches it, his beliefs are maintained, and furthermore, they actually dictate the news he sees. It's a cycle of universal informational relativism.

If you're the heritage foundation, take something you don't like, like the facts about John Kerry's war record versus George W. Bush's, create a sense of reality in the story of nothing (Swift boat veterans for "truth"), and get Tucker Carlson talking about how John Kerry looks French. What you get is pure insanity.

Metaphorize all you like at that point, maybe about the phenomenon of tearing down a person's mind and building it up again. (Maybe the heritage foundation didn't do all that, but they couldn't have been happier about it or done a better job if they tried.)

Don't believe everything you read.



Sorry, but this made me laugh.

BBC NEWS | EU-wide warrant over 'CIA kidnap'

Good idea. But they should have arrested Bush for war crimes in Belgium and that didn't happen.

CryptoKids? America's Future Codemakers & Codebreakers -- Site Start Page

Greeeeat.

good idea

Boing Boing: Experiment to see if your mail is being tapped by the gov't

smells like freedom

USNews.com: Nation and World: EXCLUSIVE: Nuclear Monitoring of Muslims Done Without Search Warrants (12/22/05)

Merry Religious Assimiliation Day

I didn't know Google video had a most popular page. Now I will never leave home again.

9 year old argues with his mother on a Xbox Live Clan Match over Chocolate Milk. - Google Video
If this kid told me to get him chocolate milk like this kid does, I'd burn all his stuff.

Why resist ultra Swanky pinup photography of winkytiki?

Friday

The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.
- Unknown

The Bridges are Back

Slut-o-Meter

merry hasselhoff

Thursday

that's Caesar's power outlet

Boing Boing: Cheney's iPod: first in line of succession for power outlets.

If two people love each other, there can be no happy end to it.
-- Ernest Hemingway

Today my last minute Christmas shopping took me to Ridgedale drive, where I saw something that blew me away.

It's not often that you see something new. Maybe it's something you've seen before, but not in this certain way, and maybe it's literally seeing something you've never seen before. Maybe what I saw was the former masquerading as the latter. It was traffic, snarled and going in all directions.

From where I was sitting, in the middle if it, at one point I looked around and it was all just a heaving, swelling, writhing mass of cars, literally as far as the eye could see. It was amazing, organic even, breathtaking, and dare I say, beautiful. I've seen lots of art, and some of my favorite art is objects made of other objects, like a man made of plates or something like that. This was a river made of cars. It rippled and eddied, and bounced and bubbled. I was flabbergasted.

There has always been a place to look and see something other than cars, wherever else I've been. You can be stuck between and beside semis, for example, and look over and see the trees at the side of the highway. But between Boston Market and Byerly's on Ridgedale drive today I was immersed in traffic so dense and large, it transcended my ability to have thoughts about it.

publicdomaintorrents

They have eegah.

BBC NEWS | Americas | Alistair Cooke's 'bones stolen'

Google free proxy!

To-do List - Google Modules

Personal Made Public: Sorting your email with GMail

Slacker Manager: The Several Habits of Wildly Successful del.icio.us Users

random crap the typing of which will hopefully make me sleepy

Right now if I were in a place that allowed me to see the stars, I'd be looking up at Cassiopeia, the mother of Andromeda, which would be close to the middle of the sky. Not because it's the best constellation, but because it's my favorite to say.

I met a girl named Cassie once and when I asked her if she was named after the constellation she didn't know what I was talking about. Her full name was Cassandra. As long as you're just going to wind up "Cassie" anyway, I like Cassiopeia better.

She dated this piece of slime named Jason who cheated on her and everybody knew but her; he sold washing machines at Sears in the megamall, she was a receptionist at a low-grade hair salon. She moved in with him and eventually they got kicked out of their place. That was awesome because those assholes were loud. One night they threw some annoying coke party that I called the cops on twice, and the next morning I woke up at seven to see their roommate Mark (Mark who totally wowed the ladies by saying the word "Dostoyevsky" as frequently as possible. Hey, it worked for him.) shouting at a guy in my front yard and trying to do some really bad coked-up drunken kung fu on him. It was awful and embarrassing to hear, and much worse to watch. And it went on for a good fifteen minutes.

Mark finally moved out, then Jason had an old friend who had gotten out of prison that moved in with them and made tons of money dealing coke. When he got a bunch of money together he moved to some place nice far away (Prison again? Who cares?) and got rid of his furniture, which included a leather couch and loveseat. That loveseat still sits in my living room. It couldn't have been loved on for more than a week before it got tossed so some soap and water and I was good to go.

This was the same apartment that another girl moved into, that I gave the meanest letter I have ever written. Now I've gone looking for it in my archives and can't find it. I don't know what happened to it but I told that girl that the noise issuing from her place the night before (and it was of Stanley Kowalskian proportions) may have been because the fat guy (with the friend who looked like a weasel) was screaming and trying to break in because she had really good pussy, but I didn't care if it was the best pussy in the world, that things had better quiet down or that I (as an anonymous person one does wield a certain --is authority the right word?-- in this sense) would see that they did. I'm kind of bummed I can't locate that. I was proud of it.

The people at my school thought I was kidding when I told them I was going to slide it under her door. She has since moved out as well. Now there are some nice quiet girls there.

I'm going to watch Bad Santa. This isn't making me any sleepier.

Wednesday

no cure for bird flu?

BBC NEWS | Health | Bird flu virus 'resisting drug'

good

BBC NEWS | Americas | Senate blocks Alaska oil drilling

The strib, not being a stupid embarassment for a change,
Bruce Schneier: Unchecked presidential power
Thanks RK for the link.

A comic book about drug addiction.
HOOKED! (1966)

Yeah, this is going to go over real well.

Christians to build a "shame-free" nudist colony

Inverse panorama photography

I once did a funeral for a guy who blew his brains out with a twelve gauge. Ker-pow. Since then I've wished there was a way I could show people how that looked, and now there is. Thanks, internet!

It was just like this, only with a little hole over by one ear and the back part shreddy and brainy. Usually you embalm, but this guy was such a mess we dumped a shitload of lye on him and wrapped him up tight in plastic sheeting. It kept him from stinking till they could get him in the ground, and that's what you really go for in a situation like that. Kind of the bummer of it was, the guy's grandfather found his body in the barn.

Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two, one to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub
with brightly colored machine tools.

[Surrealist jokes just aren't my cup of fur. Ed.]


(not mine)

BBC NEWS | Americas | Inside the fattest state in the US

Google Press Center: Zeitgeist

it begins

Every year it's the same thing. For weeks on end everywhere you look it's "the best ____ of the year." Roger Ebert gets us started with Ebert's Best 10 Movies of 2005

Photos of and quotations about Opium

War nerd's latest:
A lot of newspaper columnists are worried that the word "terrorism" is "losing its power to horrify" because we're using it too often. I worry too about this too, only from kind of a different angle. I worry that we're handing out the word "terrorist" to every no-class single-A bushwhacking gang in the world, when it should only apply to groups that have earned it, gangs with a few real scalps on their belts. I'm talking standards here. I'm trying to stop grade inflation, like what happened to the Purple Heart when they started giving it away for paper-cuts.

The way I see it, "terrorism" is one of the few really serious, scary, real words left. Curse words don't have any power since the gritty TV shows started using them for effect. All the "hate speech" stuff is off-limits. What's left of the old hard stuff? Just a few words and "terrorism" is one of the best.

We need to remember what the word really means, to look at some old-school terrorists, original gangstas, so we have a standard to measure new gangs against.

And that's why I'm going to tell you the amazing story of the Japanese Red Army, the best pure terrorists, pound for pound, in history.


eXile - Issue #228 - War Nerd - The Japanese Red Army - By Gary Brecher

U.S. judge rejects intelligent design - Yahoo! News

Yahoo indeed.

Tuesday

Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
-Mark Twain

best christianity ever!

Here's a video of a bunch of pacific theater WW2 carnage. The soundtrack is unintentionally hilarious metal, I left it on as a sort of embedded comic relief. This war, unlike the present stupidity, couldn't be avoided. The right thing to do though it was, war is hell.

16:49 long, google video

How to Build a Universe That Doesn't Fall Apart Two Days Later
a speech by Philip K. Dick

Essay of the month.

"Jesus merely raised one hand a few inches and a yawning chasm opened in the earth, stretching far and wide enough to swallow all of them. They tumbled in, howling and screeching, but their wailing was soon quashed and all was silent when the earth closed itself again."
-- From Glorious Appearing by Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins

"The best thing about the Left Behind books is the way the non-Christians get their guts pulled out by God."
-- 15-year old fundamentalist fan of the Left Behind series

That is the sophisticated language and appeal of America’s all-time best selling adult novels celebrating the ethnic cleansing of non-Christians at the hands of Christ. If a Muslim were to write an Islamic version of last book in the Left Behind series, Glorious Appearing, and publish it across the Middle East, Americans would go berserk. Yet tens of millions of Christians eagerly await and celebrate an End Time when everyone who disagrees with them will be murdered in ways that make Islamic beheading look like a bridal shower. Jesus -- who apparently has a much nastier streak than we have been led to believe -- merely speaks and “the bodies of the enemy are ripped wide open down the middle.” In the book Christians have to drive carefully to avoid “hitting splayed and filleted corpses of men and women and horses,” even as the riders’ tongues are melting in their mouths and they are being wide-open gutted by God’s own hand, the poor damned horses are getting the same treatment. Sort of a divinely inspired version of “Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.”
This may be some of the bloodiest hate fiction ever published, but it is also what tens of millions of Americans believe is God’s will.


The cultural critique continues at

A Whore that Sitteth on Many Waters
What the Left Behind Series Really Means

Joe Bageant

Monday

duh

Bush Leaves Out the Bad News in Iraqi Poll

When Hollywood (or anybody else) develops a movie no matter how complex they know at heart they are always playing with powerful emotional archtetypes and familiar, basic narratives to tug at people's heart strings and engage them in a particular drama. It is not happenstance that it is his wife Bruce Willis is trying to rescue from the exploding skyscraper and not his accountant.

The GOP really seized its current high ground after 9/11 when they were able to take advantage of national outrage and capitalize on the fact that most Americans felt that their country was under attack. Painting themselves as the Party of Men, George Bush preened in his flight suit and cod piece, called himself a "war president," and used simple, aggressive language to convince the country he was the man to preserve our security. His popularity soared.

When the village is under attack you send in the men; tales of Boadicea and Ripley notwithstanding, this is a fundamental construct of our dramatic culture that appeals to the reptilian brain and causes people to put aside rational thought that might lead them to other conclusions.

In the 2004 election John Kerry would be painted as a girlie man by the GOP, a "flip flopper," soft and feminine and flaccid and not at all capable of leading the troops into battle to defend the village. A pretty amazing PR feat considering the fact that Kerry actually was in the military, as opposed to Bush who spent his days in the Texas Air National Guard snorting coke off of some Texas stripper's rock-solid ass, but such is the power of a skillfully manipulated media. The Democrats were the party of women, and Karl Rove himself said they wanted to coddle the terrorists and give them therapy.

This was no accident either.

And the Democrats unwittingly played into this. Nobody wanted to be perceived as soft on terror, no siree, even though anybody with two IQ points knew that the reasons for going to war with Iraq had been ginned up by a bunch of crackpot imperialistic con men. Almost every Democratic leader tore at one another in a mad scramble for the center as they sought to be Tough On Terror. And it backfired. The Republicans already have that piece of emotional real estate, it is not up for grabs. The Democrats who voted for this phony war only succeeded in rubber stamping GOP bullshit.


firedoglake

Ours is not the only idiot president.

Just days after claiming the holocaust was made up and Israel should move to Germany, Iran's President Bans Western Music

totally. awesome.

Forty drunken Santas rampaged through central Auckland, stealing from stores and assaulting security guards, the New Zealand Herald reported on Sunday, in a protest against the commercialization of Christmas.

link

I've actually been to the Arctic National Wildlife refuge. I saw some wildlife and hiked around and drank water while swimming in it, and it didn't make me sick.

Now that some fat guys who don't care about anything other than getting even richer than they already are have decided to turn what's left of the frontier into more of the same post-industrial brown space that makes Flint, Michigan famous, I'm glad I went when I did. Sorry, everyone. It was really nice up there. But if the local wildlife likes us as much as we like oil, it'll all work out.

House Opens Way for Oil Drilling in Arctic


(There are no penguins in the Arctic.)

Sunday

photography

Lou Reed - Steven Kasher Gallery


Congratulations, Bono and the Gateses, not only for your fabulous wealth and incredible sense of self-importance, but because Time magazine, in an effort to sell more magazines, has decided to name you the persons of the year! Woo-hoo!

Time Honors Bill and Melinda Gates, Bono - Yahoo! News

what a prick

AP: Frist AIDS Charity Paid Consultants - Yahoo! News


The man who saved America from Satan's clutches.

Group Fights Wal-Mart on 'Happy Holidays' - Yahoo! News

World Without a PATRIOT Act

So I'm browsin through my local library checkin out the latest developments in shelving technology when Osama bin Laden jumps outta the card catalogue an hijacks the reference section!

"Oh no!" says me. "Stop him before he misfiles that almanac!"
"Mwa-hahaha, you're too late!" says the terrorist mastermind escapin into the periodicals. "Now nothing can stop me from researching the history of your hometown's spicy marmalade festival!"
"He's in the microfiche," says the crusty ol librarian. "We'll never catch im now!"

Oh John Ashcroft, where are you when we need you most!


Fafblog! the whole worlds only source for Fafblog.

Classic Rock Guitar Pose Page

Saturday

Would it be a stretch to say that no republican has any business saying that freedom is worth dying for, if they would prefer a lack of freedom to death? Their idiotic monopoly on loving America evaporates pretty quick once that comes up. The Fuhrer has made the news lately for his remarks on the subject:

Bush: Eavesdropping Helps Save U.S. Lives - Yahoo! News


CNN.com - Bush: Senate vote on Patriot Act 'irresponsible' - Dec 17, 2005

Republicans don't love America. They love their party.

warning: yucky reality

The Real Story of Christmas | Origin of Christmas | How it Began

For those of you who like to think reality exists independent of history, please crank up the Bing Crosby and space out on the artwork of Thomas Kinkade, painter of light.

There really is something for everyone at double flee a.

A senior at UMass Dartmouth was visited by federal agents two months ago, after he requested a copy of Mao Tse-Tung's tome on Communism called "The Little Red Book."

Link

How is that not frighteningly totalitarian? I wish I could find me a Bushie to put on the spot sometimes.

Republican Texas Senator John Cornyn on yesterday's vote in congress to can the USA PATRIOT act, italics mine:

The vote today was a vote to move back to a pre 9/11 mindset. This vote must be undone. We must give law enforcement the tools they need, with the safeguards we all demand.


Like that's a bad thing.

Friday

still more rethuglican shamelessness? why stop now?

President Bush's New England campaign chairman last year was convicted on telephone harassment charges Thursday for his part in a plot to jam the Democrats' phones on Election Day 2002.

GOP Official Convicted in Phone-Jamming - Yahoo! News

air = racist?

link

via spoonbender

Thursday

A blog about cuteness.
Cute Overload! ;)

I like it. Hank doesn't.


This is great.

Smoke photography by
thomas herbrich


The lord works in mysterious ways.

Before: Reservoir Breached in Missouri on Yahoo! News Photos

After: Reservoir Breached in Missouri on Yahoo! News Photos

print

A Brief History of Precision Guided Weapons

For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three.
- Alice Kahn

Wednesday

FYI: this is my seventeenth post of the day.

Fred Phelps, we salute you!


Fred Phelps doesn't fuck around.

the twelve beers of Christmas

Perhaps no other cheap beer is more univerally celebrated for its totally excellent ratio of cheapness to quality -- VALUE -- than PBR. I have a refrigerator in my living room that is just for PBR. There are twenty three of them in it right now, at thirty degrees, waiting faithfully to do battle with my mild seasonal depression. The cans are red, white and blue, and have been since before "the day that changed everything" (scared all the republicans into giving up their liberty in the name of safety.) There's something to be said for its paleo-patriotic logo design, something about how it's more legitimate than it otherwise would have been.

PBR is a favorite of guys with no money everywhere, and here is part of everywhere. Refreshing PBR, you're the second of my twelve beers of Christmas.

Pabst Blue Ribbon

Groceries cost nearly nothing. So little, in fact, that a family can eat for a week on 45 dollars. Here' s how:

Hillbilly Housewife

Screw cable, I need japanese cable.
morning musume vs. bob sapp - Google Video

punk rock photography

which is best?

farting preacher 2

farting preacher 5

farting preacher 4

farting preacher 3

because the bible is funny

An open letter to Dr. Laura

When They Were Young: A Photographic Retrospective of Childhood (Library of Congress Exhibition)

The Blogging of the President: "The last five years in the US have been a huge looting expedition. The entire proceeds of the productivity gains of those years have gone to corporate bottom lines, from whence they have been given to privileged. Ordinary working people have actually LOST net worth and not seen their paychecks grow one cent, while the rich have gotten richer."

Penn and Teller do the bible

If you can tolerate Penn, Google Video

interesting

Bush in the Bubble - Newsweek Politics - MSNBC.com

Tattoo, Not safe for work

Treat your mother right.
-Mr. T

cats = stupid?

As a result of my poor mouse control and firefox's habit of going random places, this page showed up literally out of nowhere.

Anyone want to guess what it's for?

Tuesday

free stuff giveaway

I'm aware that several readers are here in Minneapolis, so I'm giving you first chance to claim a big-ass fan that's taking up space in my apartment.

It's a "Dayton" that standing on its base is over six feet tall, and the fan is about two and a half feet across. Some jackass tore the pull chain out of it when I let it sit outside on my porch a couple of summers ago, but when you plug it in it still works. Another way of saying what it does is, goes like hell. This fan was originally bought to ventilate Nikki's kitchen, and it'll pretty much move all the air you need moved, in a hurry. If you don't have access to a truck, forget it; this won't fit in a car.

Let me know if you want it, otherwise this sucker goes to Craigslist free stuff page tomorrow.

Each once in so often I see something that reminds me of something I meant to do once and never got around to, like these comics. What we've got here are photoshopped images with text in them, often meaning very close to nothing, either intentionally or as is often the case, out of laziness.

Morningstar Online Comics - Sorcery and Sanctity

the twelve beers of Christmas

Double Flee A is proud to present this special holiday selection of fine adult beverages that will surely improve your morale this wintry season.

The first beer of Christmas is Old Speckled Hen.

I love this beer, which is great with dinner.

Old Speckled Hen has everything good that Bass does and none of its main downfall, an annoying drawn-out aftertaste.

OSH is a clean, bright, and gentle beer that will have you asking yourself why you didn't have one of these sooner.

"Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
- Jean-Paul Sartre

how to get free airfare

And the CEO of diebold can't take the heat and is getting out of the kitchen.

United Nuclear - Neodymium magnets



As rednecky as dueling banjos may be, it beats the yankee alternatives.

Incredible images from the oil refinery explosion north of London.

Fishki.Net

Ganked from Hank,
Guardian Unlimited | Ricky Gervais | Ricky Gervais podcast

On the first episode of which a man refers to this quote:

"Everything that can be invented has been invented."
-Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899.

and asks what was invented that made that man say that.

good article

Your Guess Is as Good as Mine -- In These Times: "The boisterous guessers are still in charge -- the haters of information."

Monday

links du jour

This tool is handy-lookin':

measureit extension for firefox


I didn't know that miami police were going to be doing random shows of force, to scare the people, I mean terrorists:

Miami Police Take New Tack Against Terror


Here's a site of all kinds of conspiracy theories
,
on whose incoming link log I found a site devoted to the theory that Paul McCartney died in 1966 and was replaced by an impostor.

"Ninety percent of everything is crap."
- Theodore Sturgeon

Sunday

Anyone wanting to take a look at photos of a certain treehouse in Crossville, Tennessee, devoted to Jesus, can click on my flickr account and look through a few.

Flickr: Photos

The 5th Annual Year in Ideas - New York Times

Atheism is not a philosophy; it is not even a view of the world; it is simply a refusal to deny the obvious.


Truthdig - An Atheist Manifesto


--+update+--

from mefi, a rare repost and commentary:

In this article the writer seems to forget that there's more to atheism than anti-Christianity, but fans of such rants might enjoy it. Those with more classical tastes might prefer Voltaire, who wanted to wipe out Religion altogether. Those who enjoy heat as much as light might like this rather polemic site, while those who prefer dispassionate intellectuality and/or agnosticism might go for Betrand Russell.

Hank is my brother. He's been doing a weblog for a while and this post of his is a good one, it's about truckers. I second his recommendation that you listen to Buck Truck.

Hank's Hepcat Hideaway: White Line Fever

I think we're going to this tonight at 6:30:
TCF Holidazzle Parade

Wolcott discovers Fox's definition of a "feel-good" news story.
James Wolcott: Killer Portfolio

Scenes from the documentary of what was really happening on Hoth, as speculated by an adopted Minnesotan

Luke ice fishing, pretending to practice using the force while secretly tippling Yukon Jack

Han playing ice darts with the rebel pilot guys who always get shot, their light banter about how far their testicles have retreated inside their bodies and when they're likely to emerge

Leia letting her Ton-ton get nice and warmed up before climbing on

Chewy reluctantly scraping the windows of the secret rebel base

Leia telling Han that he might have a chance with her right then and there if it weren't so damn cold in this hallway, Han wincing

Wampa sticking his head outside the cave, going back in and dialing the pizza delivery place

C3PO whining about the condensation that gets on R2D2 every time he brings his frozen ass back inside

---+update+---
As I was finishing this, I mis-pushed my mouse wheel again and in my current tab a link opened to this:
Trivia for Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
I think in 1.5 there must be a google get lucky search for text that is automatically selected.

--+more update+--
Yeah, that's what it is. Highlight some text and it gets copied to some internal clipboard, then when you wheel-click a tab, instead of closing that tab, it opens in your current tab, the result of the google lucky search for that text. It continues to do this for the entire browser session. Lame. It should only do that when you wheel-click your current tab. Get to work, internet!

Saturday


Not a moment too soon, Santa pulled his head out of his ass and got with the program.

hurricane katrina:
Evidence points to man-made disaster

"Holiday"?!? What kind of nigger-loving terrorist shit is that? Is the Bush Administration at war on Christmas?
'Holiday' Cards Ring Hollow for Some on Bushes' List

The controversial
Harold Pinter - Nobel Lecture

Friday

water cooler talk

I think that presidential approval ratings might be just something to talk about, something that places the news centrally in the relationship between the government and the people, and with politics being ever more heated by the year (creepy), it's not likely to change for the less obnoxious in my lifetime. Presidential approval ratings is where people learn what other people think, and it is the bandwagon strategy of opinion-shaping in action. If people heard the president had high approval numbers I honestly think it would make them like him more. Public opinion in general is fairly kaleidoscopic, and quite fickle. By kaliedoscopic I refer to the colors that are all copies of one another; the variety is illusory.

Other "water cooler talk" that has to do with politics (it's either them or celebrities, in both cases the media makes itself absolutely essential) is usually about morality, and in this administration, it's ALWAYS about how Christianity and Christian values are under attack.


Read carefully:

Christianity is not under attack in this country. It might be under attack at this blog, but when a person is more likely to be a Christian beating people up than being beaten up for being a Christian, you can't have it both ways and say you're being persecuted. If there was one person on the face of the earth who wasn't a confessed Christian who was washed in the blood or whatever, still Christians would claim to be oppressed by this one person. They would call him on the phone and send people to convert him and when he ran away into the woods, they'd send people in after him and build him a house made of bibles.

I'm talking about the "war on Christmas" which is painfully obviously another think-tank invention intended to rally the base. Again. Never has a base enjoyed rallying as much as this one. Well, maybe once. Guess when.

This is patriotism applied to Christmas. The experience of Christmas is actually being branded by the right wing here. It's being turned into another opportunity to defend what you hold dear, and "let us help you define what that is." What was once a calm and peaceful holiday of sharing and togetherness is fair game in our easily tilted, mediated world, to be revved into the only approved mood, superduperwar, all the time in high definition. War on Christmas. Please. Christmas is only in danger of being ruined by cramming it down everybody's throat.

This is one step from saying that someone celebrating another religion is at War on Christianty. Maybe half a step.

The only Christian value being sold back to the American people is this: being under attack. It's the same product no matter how you wrap it up, keep people afraid and angry and reacting. And if you actually think there's a war on Christmas, they've done it to you, too.

The thing is, it's all bullshit anyway, because there are real laws being passed every day that drive the country deeper into debt through tax cuts that ALWAYS favor the rich, even as we fight a war that (even as major combat operations ended a couple hundred billion dollars ago, on "mission accomplished" day) is costing no end of money. That REAL information affects water cooler talk very little. But a war on Christmas gets 'em fired up. Knees across the fruited plain twich and jaws set hard, and people climb into their cars and trucks ready to defend Christmas from whoever the bad guys are.

What a drag. What a travesty.

News Hounds: Who's Really Behind the War on Christmas?

Don Wise, professor emeritus of geosciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, is the nation's foremost proponent of ID. No, Wise isn't getting ready to testify on behalf of the school board in Dover, PA. Rather, he advocates for a different version of the acronym: "incompetent design."

Wise cites serious flaws in the systems of the human body as evidence that design in the universe exhibits not an obvious source of, but a sore lack of, intelligence. Seed asked him to chat about his theory, reactions he's received to it, and the anthem he penned to rally people to his cause.

Regarding incompetent design, why is the creator not intelligent?
I didn't say that! We don't get into religion. The last thing we want to do is get into arguments of religion, a creator and so on. We're just: "Is there, or is there not, intelligence in the design?"

So is there intelligence in the design?

Yes! No, no there isn't. The thing that perhaps is closest to all of us is our own skeleton, and there are certainly all kinds of stupidity in our design. No self-respecting engineering student would make the kinds of dumb mistakes that are built into us.
All of our pelvises slope forward for convenient knuckle-dragging, like all the other great apes. And the only reason you stand erect is because of this incredible sharp bend at the base of your spine, which is either evolution's way of modifying something or else it's just a design that would flunk a first-year engineering student.
Look at the teeth in your mouth. Basically, most of us have too many teeth for the size of our mouth. Well, is this evolution flattening a mammalian muzzle and jamming it into a face or is it a design that couldn't count accurately above 20?
Look at the bones in your face. They're the same as the other mammals' but they're just squashed and contorted by jamming the jaw into a face with your brain expanding over it, so the potential drainage system in there is so convoluted that no plumber would admit to having done it!
So is this evolution or is this plain stupid design?

You must have received some serious criticism of your somewhat jestful theory?
Well, I got one, which I showed at the Geological Society of America (GSA) meetings.
An envelope postmarked Minneapolis, with monkeys all over it and inside it, with a great big blue ribbon, a note saying I had been awarded the "Moron of the Month" award, that I was a dork, an idiot, that only someone who thought their ancestors were monkeys would be dumb enough to say what I had, asking me if I wanted to debate it. It left an email address at "darwinistsaredumb@hotmail.com."
These are the kind of things you NEVER really answer, but I couldn't resist. So I used the H.L. Menken approach:

Dear Sir,
You should be aware that some idiot is writing absolute nonsense and signing your e-mail address to it. You should take action on this before your reputation is further sullied!
But most of the things I've gotten have been positive.


This from the post earlier.

links

Baby Bush Toys | Brain Food For the Average Child

Print: Seed: The Other I.D.

Yawn: Nativity Scene Dedicated Across From Supreme Court

Mood-News The news sorted by mood.

hotel california

I once heard someone say that since the release of this song it has been playing on a radio station somewhere in the world, constantly. There is no way of knowing this to be true, but when I was a kid and I heard that, I believed it. Kids believe a lot of things, like that they can do a cartwheel down the stairs on their fingertips. Did I ever post anything about that before?

Anyway, the rotation of the song Hotel California remained pretty much unchanged for my first twenty years in Tennessee; a couple of times a day on the classic rock station you knew it was going to come on.

Playlists change, even at the classic rock station, from year to year. One year might be Bob Seger heavy, then they might shift it to the more psychedelic Led Zeppelin for six months, and so forth. But Hotel California never changed, and it was this conspicuous transcendence of "the over-played rule" I suspected governed playlists at classic rock stations everywhere, that drove me to contemplate the nature of reality.

Hotel California became, for me, the basis of a thought experiment. "Is the world I experience just made up, and did the person making it up get lazy and that's why I have to hear the same song at the same rate my entire life?" Maybe I wasn't supposed to notice the song always being on, maybe I'd found a crack, and it made me want to find others. What a useless and sudden dead end that turned out to be. Nothing ever materialized, the world wasn't made up just for me to experience, classic rock radio stations are just swinging from the jock of Hotel California, for reasons I will never understand. It's on somewhere right now, I guarantee it.

I found out later there was a guy who also was investigating how the world, if it was made up, was made up very poorly. His name was Stephen Jay Gould, and his series of natural history articles was bound together into books like "the panda's thumb", in which it is demonstrated that if the panda was designed, it was designed very poorly. (Therefore it wasn't designed, kind of thing.) His book "wonderful life" is on my top twenty list. It was good to see that there were other more interesting ways to go with "is the world made up" thought process than the stupid Hotel California one.

Now I've seen enough evidence that the world developed on its own, according to a few simple rules (different life forms competing for the same resources, following the path of least resistance to get there, there's your panda's thumb) that I don't wonder after it any more.

half

At least this many of the channels that come in to my house via the antenna, are Jesus channels. I'm not even kidding. Last week I was waiting for a tape to rewind and flipping channels and some people were playing "turkey in the straw" on fiddles on one of them. That was the "Daystar" network.

Among people who watch these, (of which there must be an awful lot), how do they choose one over the other? Do they have to give money to every single one?

seriously

Let me emphasize that this is not a rhetorical question, what difference does it make what the president's approval rating is?

Why is it constantly reported as news?

What is this?
[ uncontrol ]

Marinda Branson Moore, 1829-1864 The Geographical Reader, for the Dixie Children.

Thursday

Luba
Nsfw

poorly chosen words = ominous headline

U.S. Life Expectancy Hits All-Time High - Yahoo! News

watch stuff

I spent today working on a watch. I oiled it and got the movement squared away. It's an old Jules Jurgensen, dating back about a hundred and thirty years. At the time it was made, it was the top of the line in terms of quality and brand recognition wordwide; the Patek Phillippe of its day.

The movement has been worked on by some heavy-handed individuals in the past, and it's been robbed of its original gold case and is now crammed into a brass bushing in a nickel case. Looking at it, it's probably not the kind of thing anyone would want to steal. I thought you'd like to see it so I went to find a picture of one, and when I did I about crapped in my Herman Miller. Take a look at the movement I have spent the last two days working on:

eBay: Triple Signed 18K JULES JURGENSEN Hunter Case Watch!!!! (item 5060624541 end time Dec-10-05 18:30:00 PST)

That case was made of gold and it's a good bet it got melted down at some point, but the watch is the same. Ways mine is worse: overall wear, somewhat serious. Somebody scratched the number seven in the bottom of the gold fitting for the cap jewel on the pallet bridge. People obviously were not being as careful working on it as they could have been, but this is a quality piece. The pivots locate themselves like a dream, the way high end watches do. All the wheels are very well-weighted.

Ways mine is actually better than this one: That crack in the porcelain dial isn't there on my watch. Also, my hands are far more ornate. If I ever get a good lens, I'll have to take a picture of it, but for now I think that covers it.

It's a cool watch. Every screw is handmade, meaning no screw fits into another screw's hole. That's kind of strange if you've never dealt with it before. The balance screws are gold, and the hairpsring is a tank. It has low amplitude, though, and no backlash, and I'm not sure anything can be done about that. I'm told that if a watch this old can be made to run, that's good enough.

It kind of blows me away that the one I have was actually made before this, is nicer, and it was the one that got its case taken. I would normally expect that the one I would have would be total crap next to the glittery sexy ebay one, but this time I got lucky.

And then someone invented a flying alarm clock.

Boing Boing: Alarm clock wakes you with a noise hovering chopper

time destroyer

Wikipedia:Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense

ABC News: Sound of Dog's 'Laugh' Calms Other Pooches

All the yap these days is about "victory in Iraq".
Howard Dean says it's not possible: WOAI: San Antonio News - Dean: US Won't Win in Iraq

Bush, the other day, had this to say about victory:
"We're pursuing a comprehensive strategy in Iraq. Last week, my administration released a document called the "National Strategy for Victory in Iraq." Our goal is victory -- and victory will be achieved when the terrorists and Saddamists can no longer threaten Iraq's democracy, when the Iraqi security forces can provide for the safety of their own citizens, and when Iraq is not a safe haven for terrorists to plot new attacks against our nation."

How can victory, by these standards, EVER be achieved? We don't even have that level of stability here in the United States!

News flash, our own democracy isn't what it's cracked up to be for the second consecutive election,
and
we aren't safe from terrorists.


For good measure, here's a right wing blogger, to make sense of it all.

All kinds of ways to look stuff up:

DNS Stuff: DNS tools, DNS hosting tests, WHOIS, traceroute, ping, and other network and domain name tools.

Sometimes I get comments from people that don't have much to say, they just post a link and let me figure it out. This is usually lots of fun, and today's is no exception. Sometimes an internet celebrity such as myself can lie back and let the crap find me.

I have to break to plug the craziest lady in Christendom, yes, the god's warrior video, which came to me the same way.

This tragic link comes to us from the cryptic yet uncreative "m", with the headline "Feminists Support the Rape of conservative females", a link that takes you here: Far Right Wing, a blog of a guy that dredges right-wing message boards for every dumb-ass comment anyone has ever made about what they would do, given the chance, to Ann Coulter. (Let the record show that if I could do whatever I wanted with Ann Coulter, I would ignore her, like I do to all the other retards that aren't trying to hump my leg.)

'Feminists encouraging rape' becomes a springboard for another foray into the sparkling, nuanced insight that is the right wing. In case you don't go look at the site yourself, you should at least have the benefit of this author's withering intellect:

This one just show the evil in the heart of left-wing America when one of them actually said "Someone Should RAPE Ann Coulter, that would put the stupid bitch Down A notch."

All these twisted comments and fantasies of the sick left-wing socialist mind is not only accepted by liberal feminists but it is encourage and supported. This sort of talk actually make so-called feminists laugh about the detailed description of the brutal rape of a woman and all because she speak her own mind not just regurgitate their garbage.


(I'm not even going to dignify this schlock by copy-and-pasting some of Ann Coulter's own words here. Ann Coulter is so clearly a buffoon it doesn't merit discussion.)

The rest of the site is devoted to pictures of abortions and pictures of dictators, and more of the same poorly informed, syntactically abhorrent prose that makes farrightwing my least favorite anonymous comment site of the day.

A photographer from Saint Paul takes 360 Degree Panorama Photography

"I believe that a person who is indifferent to the suffering of others is complicit in the crime. And that I cannot allow, at least not for myself."
- Elie Weisel

An interview with

Wednesday

singing the white man's blues

First off, thanks, rk, for pimping my box with firefox 1.5 without synaptic. It's nice, except for the wheel-click problem, which is more puzzling than annoying. Allow me to explain.

Since the upgrade to 1.5, when I click the rolly-wheel (which has become my favorite method of navigating tabs), instead of closing the tab I'm clicking, that tab reroutes to some website. The real mystery is how that website is selected. At first I thought robinkisser had played a trick on me because I wound up at Microsoft's homepage, and they're the sworn enemy of pretty much everybody with a pulse. I called him, said "ha, ha, what's the deal", but it wasn't him, and then looked for the setting but couldn't find it. Anyone knows which menu that's in, let me know? Please? There has to be a mouse config someplace that I'm not looking. If it makes it any more impossible, I'm running ubuntu. Thanks.

This morning and most of last night the tab I was trying to close would go to my most recently clicked link, but after I hadn't clicked anything for a couple of minutes, the clicks took me back to f-ing microsoft again. And that's not even the homepage. It's like there is a list of bullshit links being generated somewhere.

This is so damn strange, and it is obviously intentional on someone's part, and I can't imagine who or how.

Tuesday

Maddox is right,
Dawn of the dead is a great movie.

professor beat up for not being a good nazi

Here in America, if you know what's good for you, you'd better believe in a few things.

Like that god made everything. If your so-called knowledge tells you different, well then you'd better start knowing something else or Bubba and Ronnie are going to have to enforce God like Pizarro.

Wichita Eagle | 12/06/2005 | Professor beaten; attackers cite KU creationism class

Is the era of Christians feeling persecuted over yet?

The Blog | Larry Beinhart: Brand X | The Huffington Post

italics mine

CIA prisons in Europe closed in November: ABC News - Yahoo! News:

"The United States held captured al Qaeda suspects at two secret CIA prisons in Eastern Europe until last month when the facilities were shut down after media reports of their existence, ABC News reported on Monday, citing current and former CIA agents.

Eleven al Qaeda prisoners who were held in Eastern Europe were relocated 'to a CIA site somewhere in north Africa,' ABC reported, citing CIA sources."

The United States is for the most part a cult of child-worship.

In the city it's less common than the outlying nursery-burbs, and you can actually expect to go out in public to a restaurant and not hear them screaming for corn syrup, commanding their obseqious mothers to pacify them like the little tyrants they are. See, I think the world belongs to adults, or "those responsible for maintaining it". When children open a restaurant that I want to go to, I'll follow their rules and throw shit all over the place and scream and cry, or whatever they want.

Here's an example of the controversy borne of American parents' systemic reluctance to discipline their little angels, when a business owner doesn't want his store to be a playground for terrible twosies:

Cafe Stirs Debate Over Kids' Behavior - Yahoo! News

Monday

you know it's bullshit when...

the email you got from paypal ends with


Sincerely,
Carla
PayPal Account Rewiew Departament.

The Reverend (I'm legally a reverend too, registered with the state, if that gives you any idea of the meaning of the title) Al Sharpton is working for a loan agency called Loan Max. These loan companies take advantage of the financially worst-off Americans. This is what I would expect from Tom Delay or Barbara Bush, not Al Sharpton.

Asshole.

big internet day

Woo-dawgies!

Ok, first and foremost, for wiki to change the rules because of one little cry-baby is bad policy. Here's what Siegenthaler wrote about how shocked and wronged he was over the whole thing. Cry me a river and drown in it, Siegenthaler. Dealing with people making up dumb shit about you is an important component of living in the digital age.

Number two, I am now finished with hairsprings. I finished my test, got it graded, and wound up with 5.18 of 6. Passing is 4. I am done and they can't make me do it any more. This was truly small, small scale work, and was an excellent way to prepare us to work on extremely delicate things of all kinds. For example, the watch I'm fixing righ tnow to give my wife, a LeCoultre. This watch is in good condition but, as I discovered this morning is missing a roller table.

How in the hell am I going to get a roller table for a LeCoultre?

On to bigger and different things; next is the escapement. Our focus will be mainly on the swiss lever escapement, adjusting pallet stones, etc. I do not anticipate this will be as bad as the hairsprings, which in turn were not as bad as we were prepared for them to be. The best thing about suffering is that once you've really done it, everything else is easy by comparison. I have no doubt that there are some for whom hairsprings was the most nerve-racking thing they've ever attempted. It was hard for me and I lost my patience more than once but it wasn't as bad as some girlfriends I've had. Not by a damn sight. One of these girls in particular had more emotional problems than a lesbian gangbang, and now that I think about it maybe that's a story for another time.

A few links,
a pack of squirrels killed a dog in Russia, there's probably a joke about what end-times interpretation Jerry Falwell or Pat Robertson will have to offer there,

An annoyingly messianic, obvious pronouncement about the utility of Ajax,

something useful made with Ajax for firefox (looks like a doozie),

and a couple of scary-looking Asian dudes.

In order to preserve the flavor of this annoying site as much as possible, I'm leaving the link the way I found it:
ACID TRIP OUTLAW WEBSITE...BREAK OUT THE THORAZINE YOU IS ENTERING ACIDTRIP!!!

Sunday

holy crap

Are the democrats actually doing something? Something smart? This is PR that could actually do some good, by doing harm to the dipshit's image, of course.

Democrats Urge Backing for Science, Tech - Yahoo! News

A repost, because she hasn't gotten any worse-looking, Eszter Tak�csi aka Jewel in various stages of undress.

Warning, not safe for work, and not safe for those who are morally superior to me.

Here's a site (that's going straight to my feedreader) where they offer one product a day, usually at a great price.

It's called woot.com

You, readers, deserve the best, and that's why I'm going to point you to the lyrics to Honky Tonk Badonkadonk by Trace Adkins.

Man did you luck out.

penis birthday cake

The president doesn't believe in plain ol exits. When he's stuck in a building an the building's on fire he doesn't say "where's the emergency exit?" He says "where's the emergency victory!"

sometimes nothing beats a Fafblog

no bids so far...

eBay: ANCHOR HOCKING, TWO (2) DRUTHER'S RESTAURANT COFFEE CUPS

I should show this to the bitchy lady at my pharmacy who has a superiority comlpex associated with her pregnancy.

McSweeney's Internet Tendency: I Don't Know What the Big Deal About Having a Baby Is.

What I'd like to show her is this:
hundreds of poisonous chemicals found in umbilical cord blood.

-DRUM ROLL-

And the most emailed story on Yahoo is....

IS GEORGE BUSH THE WORST PRESIDENT -- EVER? - Yahoo! News

He has taken the country into an unwinnable war and alienated friend and foe alike in the process;

He is bankrupting the country with a combination of aggressive military spending and reduced taxation of the rich;

He has deliberately and dangerously attacked separation of church and state;

He has repeatedly "misled," to use a kind word, the American people on affairs domestic and foreign;

He has proved to be incompetent in affairs domestic (New Orleans) and foreign (
Iraq and the battle against al-Qaida);

He has sacrificed American employment (including the toleration of pension and benefit elimination) to increase overall productivity;

He is ignorantly hostile to science and technological progress;

He has tolerated or ignored one of the republic's oldest problems, corporate cheating in supplying the military in wartime.

cool

Ecologist Annual Essay Competition
In association with the Coady International Institute

What is Humanity’s worst Invention?

Saturday

When Lowtax says it's the worst website he's seen in a year, you can bet it's going to be bad.

Joy Angeles' Erotic Female Relieving Observance website
not safe for work.

scary hoodies:
ANTICON - ONLINE STORE

RJ Eskow: Coulter & O'Reilly: The Nazis in the Mirror - Yahoo! News

"I've notice [sic] a certain nyah-nyah, finger-wagging tendency in rightwing titles. Out on the market along with Do As I Say (Not as I Do)is a book-length attack on Al Franken called Pants On Fire. I suppose it's only a matter of time before Jonah Goldberg completes the trend with a booger-flicking retort to his blog critics called I Know You Are, But What Am I?..."
James Wolcott: #1

movie review

The "Left Behind" Movies - By Grady Hendrix

CIA SABOTAGE MANUAL - a photoset on Flickr

An open letter to Larry the cable guy, by David Cross

something I learned today

My impression of Michael Stipe singing "everybody hurts" is apparently flawless and hilarious.

A good wayfaring map would be the bar crawls, like the NE drunken bike tour.

Friday

This could turn out to be pretty useful:
Wayfaring

I made a map of restaurants.

sweet

Liferea (feedreader) reads the craigslist free page.

duh

Justice Staff Saw Texas Districting As Illegal

the lucky winner


US carries out 1,000th execution

A crazy guy who thinks Julie Andrews... I can't really tell what he thinks, actually.
Factum Non Fabula

Trading Porno for Bibles

Here's a crazy guy who thinks the government went back in time and messed with him.

yikes

Thursday

Rush Limbaugh, warrior for truth, justice, and the American way.
Everyone’s favorite conservative talk show host does battle with a 3-headed liberal monster, as he protects “Lady Liberty” and “Miss Justice” from the lecherous tentacles of the forked-tongued Bill and his cronies.

boo hoo

BBC NEWS | Fans angry over Xbox 360 stocks

Of course they're emotionally distraught! There aren't enough to keep pace with demand! It's like prison! Turkish prison!

If anyone you know is angry that they can't get an xbox 360, please add them to the list of people for me to smack the shit out of.

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
- Paula Poundstone

Human beings are perhaps never more frightening than when they are convinced beyond doubt that they are right.
- Laurens Van der Post

"This is the day that the Lord has made! We shall rejoice and be glad in the new Wal-Mart that the Lord has made."

-Lester Packingham
Wal-Mart General Manager


How did I ever live without a feedreader? I use liferea, a clone of the free
feedreader.
There are now eight websites so far that I don't have to manually check any more. This does that for me. That's a lot less clickin' for Dale.

If removing someone from a buddy list can be pretty cathartic, you might spend too much time on the internet.

I listened to the Rush Limbaugh program for ten minutes at school yesterday, and was it ever educational. I had no idea democrats were such scumbags! They want America to lose the war because they want Bush to lose. But they have no platform as a party, they're "arrogant", "think they're the smartest guy in the room" but really are not, of course, they're "elite", whatever that means, and they "blame America first". He was clearly on a roll, as he should be. He's been doing this (highly specialized form of) entertainment for simpletons for at least ten years now. He's interesting to listen to, like a barker at a carnival or Ron Popeil, gushing a steady stream of rhetoric that castigates the evil and insidious and ridiculous "left", a group so vile and foolish that they deserve his most highly polished derisive mockery for three hours every week-day. Sounds like the liberal democrats should all be killed to me, just to get it over with and clean up America. I saw Limbaugh's mug in Time magazine on a full page ad, with the words "America's anchorman" next to him last weekend. Does he seriously think he's presenting the news? In as real a way as President Bush can be said to "lead", I guess this could be "news", making Rush a real live "anchorman". Rush will never achieve the rank of journalist, though; an entertainer he remains.

Last but not most, it's my wife's birthday! Send her an email or give her a phone call.

Happy birthday, dear!