what's even better than happiness?
answer
Double Flee A
Wednesday
It's time once again for...
Today's frighteningly totalitarian news story!
Thousands of truckers, bus drivers and rest-stop workers are being enlisted to spot terrorists.
Today's frighteningly totalitarian news story!
Thousands of truckers, bus drivers and rest-stop workers are being enlisted to spot terrorists.
I'm listening to this news story about New Mexico, a "battleground" state. It's a "battleground" state because the two main presidential candidates will have to "fight it out" there to win the state's five electoral votes.
Battleground state.
War on terror.
War on drugs.
Fight.
Strong.
Swift.
Justice.
It seems to me reality is taking on tones of the slogan. All day long words get repeated over and over, and yes, they are starting to be believed. The louder you shout, the more of the same words you repeat, the more your patriotism is beyond doubt or reproach. Nevermind that the "war on terror" makes no sense, because nothing could be more terrifying than war and torture, and no one is more eager to perform both of these than the US, with the possible exception of Kim Jong Il, and I have doubts about his sincerity. The pro-bush bumper sticker was right. "Why change horsemen mid-apocalypse?"
I used to think that Orwell's vision of a neverending war was impressive and far-fetched, and then later I thought it was around the corner, but now I see that war culture is inseperable from our own. There used to be people who could remember when it wasn't, but nature's taking care of replacing them, and the military-industrial-informational complex is taking care to replace them with its own brain-branded drones and apologists.
Every day is the fourth of July now compared to when I was a kid, so what's left when all you do is love America? What do you actually do? The new christians, pentecostal "left behind" types give us an idea. Love it louder and disconnect all critical thought. Because faith will take care of everything. I want to cry, but I also want to puke, and if I do both, I might die, choking on my own vomit as I strain to breathe through the heaving sobs, so futile and empty is the situation that everybody else's god has gotten me in.
Battleground state.
War on terror.
War on drugs.
Fight.
Strong.
Swift.
Justice.
It seems to me reality is taking on tones of the slogan. All day long words get repeated over and over, and yes, they are starting to be believed. The louder you shout, the more of the same words you repeat, the more your patriotism is beyond doubt or reproach. Nevermind that the "war on terror" makes no sense, because nothing could be more terrifying than war and torture, and no one is more eager to perform both of these than the US, with the possible exception of Kim Jong Il, and I have doubts about his sincerity. The pro-bush bumper sticker was right. "Why change horsemen mid-apocalypse?"
I used to think that Orwell's vision of a neverending war was impressive and far-fetched, and then later I thought it was around the corner, but now I see that war culture is inseperable from our own. There used to be people who could remember when it wasn't, but nature's taking care of replacing them, and the military-industrial-informational complex is taking care to replace them with its own brain-branded drones and apologists.
Every day is the fourth of July now compared to when I was a kid, so what's left when all you do is love America? What do you actually do? The new christians, pentecostal "left behind" types give us an idea. Love it louder and disconnect all critical thought. Because faith will take care of everything. I want to cry, but I also want to puke, and if I do both, I might die, choking on my own vomit as I strain to breathe through the heaving sobs, so futile and empty is the situation that everybody else's god has gotten me in.
I went to this website looking for what's funny to different people.
I had given up on seeing anything political and then got to the last t-shirt. It's a stupid site, full of stupid shirts a la "i banged your wife", so don't bother clicking on it, but the last one says "fuck hippies". I always look for the political angle on these crude humor sites, and I always find the same thing. It's the manly thing to hate liberals. Which is funny because liberals are the ones trying to help the poor, the ones with so little education and imagination that they might buy a shirt from this obnoxious website. The stupid waste of time: offensive t-shirts
I had given up on seeing anything political and then got to the last t-shirt. It's a stupid site, full of stupid shirts a la "i banged your wife", so don't bother clicking on it, but the last one says "fuck hippies". I always look for the political angle on these crude humor sites, and I always find the same thing. It's the manly thing to hate liberals. Which is funny because liberals are the ones trying to help the poor, the ones with so little education and imagination that they might buy a shirt from this obnoxious website. The stupid waste of time: offensive t-shirts
Sex and Propaganda
This, while mildly unsafe for work, is a must-see about the history of psychological warfare leaflets.
This, while mildly unsafe for work, is a must-see about the history of psychological warfare leaflets.
Tuesday
the bbc has gotten some really good pictures of human fetuses.
The christian right will co-opt them to propagandize the stripping of a woman's right to choose in 3...2...1...
The christian right will co-opt them to propagandize the stripping of a woman's right to choose in 3...2...1...
When you're driving a Lexus filled with over 2 million dollars' worth of ecstasy and cocaine through Kansas at 9 am, don't roll through a stop or you could wind up airborne.
story
story
Monday
project mcduff was the name of a semi-secret government try at figuring out how to disassemble the al-queda network. don't expect to hear about it anywhere.
Sunday
I saw "along came polly", and it's terrible. Ben Stiller now joins Adam Sandler in having burned me too many times. Sadly, he just isn't funny any more. There wasn't one joke that you couldn't see coming from a mile away. Gross jokes they tried to make like the Farrelly brothers (kingpin, awesome) wound up al Eddie Murphy.
Today a funny thing happened. I had a vial of some cephalosporin antibiotic I can't remember the name of and I reconstituted it with ten mls of water. Pretty normal. Then I did two more. So here I am with the three vials which are ten mls apiece, and I start drawing up the three seven point five ml doses. Seven and a half, ok. Then I started to draw up the remaining two point five so I could move on to the second vial to finish up the dose. But I drew past two point five, past three, past four, and then past five. Shit. The vial's 2 grams, and the concentration's supposed to be two hundred mgs per ml, so there's a problem here. The concentration's off by about a third. I thought we were going to have to throw them out and start over. The guy next to me is a veteran of IV room stuff, though, and he figured out what to do and told me.
The powder takes up 2.5, so the proper recon volume was 7.5 mls water, not 10. Instead of trashing all three, he says I should just grab a fourth vial, dump an already reconned vial into the powder of the fourth, drain everything from all four into a 60 ml syringe, and mix it up. Put all that back in the four containers and when that's done it's up to the appropriate concentration. So I started to do it. It was all going to be just fine. The mishap wouldn't have mattered except that it would have really pissed off the pharmacist who was working. His name is Jim.
Now, I've got to hand it to Jim, he's really trying to be a nice guy. He's just so damn angry all the time it's hard for him. Why is he angry? No one knows, but he has been for thirty years. Jim's short temper is nothing less than legendary. It's like the sun. Each day, it rises. Jim's bald and has really hairy arms, so I think he may just have way too much testosterone. It's the tendency of people who work around him to try to guess why he's the way he is. You really can't put up with him unless you've somehow explained him to yourself.
Jim was not going to like this, but if I did it in a hurry, he wouldn't know. So in my haste, I left positive pressure in one of them and it shot out all over the place. Now the waste from this wasn't that bad. Two or less mls, but the vial got all sticky. No biggie. I had to get that in the vials again before he noticed. So I did, the drugs were right, and I moved on to the next thing, pushing the doses over to be checked. Felix (the guy who figured out how to keep me out of trouble) and I smiled and kept working. Time passed.
Sure enough, it's Jim who goes to check the drugs.
Jim: "Why are there four of these?"
Me: "I accidentally did one too many."
Jim: "What did you use?"
Me: "Water."
Jim: "Why is this vial all sticky?"
Me : "I forgot and left positive pressure in the vial."
Jim: "How much water did you put in?"
Me: "Seven and a half mls."
At this point I got up to answer a page, (it was the lovely Joyce telling me I was awesome) and Jim walked right behind me to check out the proper reconstitution volume for the drug.
Later Felix and I laughed about it. Considering the pains I had gone to to conceal the screw-up in the first place, I wasn't going to admit to it, especially when I was sure it didn't make any difference. I did the drug right, saved the hospital money (sort of) and avoinded an ass-chewing.
I've got a big algebra test tomorrow, and after my brother told me last night that anybody who works hard can be great at math, I feel like I will really be a huge failure if I don't do great. Go, me!
Today a funny thing happened. I had a vial of some cephalosporin antibiotic I can't remember the name of and I reconstituted it with ten mls of water. Pretty normal. Then I did two more. So here I am with the three vials which are ten mls apiece, and I start drawing up the three seven point five ml doses. Seven and a half, ok. Then I started to draw up the remaining two point five so I could move on to the second vial to finish up the dose. But I drew past two point five, past three, past four, and then past five. Shit. The vial's 2 grams, and the concentration's supposed to be two hundred mgs per ml, so there's a problem here. The concentration's off by about a third. I thought we were going to have to throw them out and start over. The guy next to me is a veteran of IV room stuff, though, and he figured out what to do and told me.
The powder takes up 2.5, so the proper recon volume was 7.5 mls water, not 10. Instead of trashing all three, he says I should just grab a fourth vial, dump an already reconned vial into the powder of the fourth, drain everything from all four into a 60 ml syringe, and mix it up. Put all that back in the four containers and when that's done it's up to the appropriate concentration. So I started to do it. It was all going to be just fine. The mishap wouldn't have mattered except that it would have really pissed off the pharmacist who was working. His name is Jim.
Now, I've got to hand it to Jim, he's really trying to be a nice guy. He's just so damn angry all the time it's hard for him. Why is he angry? No one knows, but he has been for thirty years. Jim's short temper is nothing less than legendary. It's like the sun. Each day, it rises. Jim's bald and has really hairy arms, so I think he may just have way too much testosterone. It's the tendency of people who work around him to try to guess why he's the way he is. You really can't put up with him unless you've somehow explained him to yourself.
Jim was not going to like this, but if I did it in a hurry, he wouldn't know. So in my haste, I left positive pressure in one of them and it shot out all over the place. Now the waste from this wasn't that bad. Two or less mls, but the vial got all sticky. No biggie. I had to get that in the vials again before he noticed. So I did, the drugs were right, and I moved on to the next thing, pushing the doses over to be checked. Felix (the guy who figured out how to keep me out of trouble) and I smiled and kept working. Time passed.
Sure enough, it's Jim who goes to check the drugs.
Jim: "Why are there four of these?"
Me: "I accidentally did one too many."
Jim: "What did you use?"
Me: "Water."
Jim: "Why is this vial all sticky?"
Me : "I forgot and left positive pressure in the vial."
Jim: "How much water did you put in?"
Me: "Seven and a half mls."
At this point I got up to answer a page, (it was the lovely Joyce telling me I was awesome) and Jim walked right behind me to check out the proper reconstitution volume for the drug.
Later Felix and I laughed about it. Considering the pains I had gone to to conceal the screw-up in the first place, I wasn't going to admit to it, especially when I was sure it didn't make any difference. I did the drug right, saved the hospital money (sort of) and avoinded an ass-chewing.
I've got a big algebra test tomorrow, and after my brother told me last night that anybody who works hard can be great at math, I feel like I will really be a huge failure if I don't do great. Go, me!
Saturday
You may hear of this...
Carole Coleman's Bush interview - International Anti-War - Indymedia Ireland
The mp3 is here.
Carole Coleman's Bush interview - International Anti-War - Indymedia Ireland
The mp3 is here.
The Splu Urtaf Show, a "this old house" spoof. The guys making it obviously had a good time.
Things get a little strange. I'll give you a hint. Ass, snack, and ham.
/quicktime
Things get a little strange. I'll give you a hint. Ass, snack, and ham.
/quicktime
The following is not safe for work.
This, I warn you, is a bad page. It's got a German exhibitionist guy on it. But I had to see what that text translated to, so I did it at babelfish. Here is what it says on the page:
"Now you ask you reliably as one at all on the idea come such a thing to make. My slogan and only its than others! I am assessed as standard equipment exhibitionistisch and I find it simple geil to carry sexy underwear and to let me photograph thereby or be naked in the public. In addition it stirs me up totally to make men and women with my hot Outfits geil. Most men move on if their wives are inspired like that are even our society!!
The last time do not get I very many offers of men now must I all finaldeceived I am Schwul and stand only on Mrs. Sorry to look may it gladly however more not!!!"
It is a crazy world in which we live, no? I always think it's funny when a dude thinks he's sexy.
This, I warn you, is a bad page. It's got a German exhibitionist guy on it. But I had to see what that text translated to, so I did it at babelfish. Here is what it says on the page:
"Now you ask you reliably as one at all on the idea come such a thing to make. My slogan and only its than others! I am assessed as standard equipment exhibitionistisch and I find it simple geil to carry sexy underwear and to let me photograph thereby or be naked in the public. In addition it stirs me up totally to make men and women with my hot Outfits geil. Most men move on if their wives are inspired like that are even our society!!
The last time do not get I very many offers of men now must I all finaldeceived I am Schwul and stand only on Mrs. Sorry to look may it gladly however more not!!!"
It is a crazy world in which we live, no? I always think it's funny when a dude thinks he's sexy.
"News-Medical.Net 50,000 people in the U.S. with cancer, multiple sclerosis, rheumatoid arthritis or hepatitis C will be eligible for a Medicare drug lottery!"
A lottery is so much better than communiss socialized healthcare, and if you loved America, you'd think so too! I can just see the shiny salon-manicured nails of some plump lottery lady reaching into the spinning globe filled with numbered ping pong balls...
I mean, doesn't healthcare for everyone just make you puke? God is on the side of the USA, but don't count on it for long if we go for the side of evil with socialized healthcare!
Am I alone in thinking the fact that stupidity and nationalism can be joked about and be funny-because-it's-true is creepy?
I'm glad no one I know depends on the kindness of the government in their old age, otherwise it would be a sad scene.
A lottery is so much better than communiss socialized healthcare, and if you loved America, you'd think so too! I can just see the shiny salon-manicured nails of some plump lottery lady reaching into the spinning globe filled with numbered ping pong balls...
Who will live and who will die? Spin that wheel! And the first number is... nineteen!
I mean, doesn't healthcare for everyone just make you puke? God is on the side of the USA, but don't count on it for long if we go for the side of evil with socialized healthcare!
Am I alone in thinking the fact that stupidity and nationalism can be joked about and be funny-because-it's-true is creepy?
I'm glad no one I know depends on the kindness of the government in their old age, otherwise it would be a sad scene.
Well, the idiotic porn-surfing thing went away at work, which is good. I was going to be in trouble but it looks like someone without an entirely intrarectal head talked to the completely so manager of this department and they decided to leave me alone. If they hadn't decided that, I would have had to shine some light on the poor stupid bastards, and this way the management stays nice and comfortable and secure in their hazy computerworld illusions. And who am I to deprive someone of their illusions?
Accidental porn news story, Safe for work
My "Captain Fantastic" nametag is getting a positive response. I decided that anyone that has no job description because he's expected to do almost everything ought to be able to name his own job, and that's what I've named mine. There are pharmacy technicians, there are Pyxis technicians, and then there's me, Captain Fantastic. I do it all, baby. It makes people smile, too. They like to say the words. Words like that aren't words you get the chance to say every day, and when people say them it's like a plant somewhere in side them is getting watered. A nice big green plant.
In other news, I need a letter of reference from someone who isn't in my family to get into watch making school. Please zap me one, and the winner gets a twelve pack of beer or anything of comparable value, excluding a political donation to you-know-who. I'd rather not do that. I need that thing quick, as in by tomorrow night at six p.m. central.
Accidental porn news story, Safe for work
My "Captain Fantastic" nametag is getting a positive response. I decided that anyone that has no job description because he's expected to do almost everything ought to be able to name his own job, and that's what I've named mine. There are pharmacy technicians, there are Pyxis technicians, and then there's me, Captain Fantastic. I do it all, baby. It makes people smile, too. They like to say the words. Words like that aren't words you get the chance to say every day, and when people say them it's like a plant somewhere in side them is getting watered. A nice big green plant.
In other news, I need a letter of reference from someone who isn't in my family to get into watch making school. Please zap me one, and the winner gets a twelve pack of beer or anything of comparable value, excluding a political donation to you-know-who. I'd rather not do that. I need that thing quick, as in by tomorrow night at six p.m. central.
Friday
Talking President toys. I'd prefer if they'd just shut up and leave me alone
If it seems like my page has been taken over by someone else, it's because it has; my dim doppelganger, brain tired from studying algebra. Me needing to study algebra. It's like I've stepped into an alternate universe.
Two days ago the lovely Joyce managed to cull some problems from the more antisocial neighborhoods of cyber vegas, and she's been putting me through hoops ever since. Factoring stinks, the word problems frequently are confusing syntactically; if the questions on the test are anything like the harder of the study questions, it's a year more of working some place I hate. Which is awful. But, if I get the score I need, and if I get into this watchmaking program, I will have a better time in general. I won't have to work with stupid, loud people. And I won't have a woman jerking me around. Won't THAT be something.
Joyce and I went to the matinee of the controversial "Fahrenheit 9/11" today. The "Fox 9 News" guy was sitting outside with his camera, waiting for a long line to form, so I took his picture. He smiled for the camera. Maybe he was investing in his karma a little. I had a feeling his network would play a prominent role in the film, and I was right. Not nearly enough of a role for the lies they love to pass off as news, but still, they were there. (My stupid publishing tool broke down on me this morning, but I posted a long Cheney piece which incorporated that he thought Fox was the most accurate of all the news stations, which is demonstrably the opposite of the truth here in what I like to refer to as "reality". This fact, coupled with him dropping the f-bomb on Leahy yesterday and his already posted lying about his war energy policy and lying about picking Halliburton to rebuild Iraq's oil business, makes for an unsavory picture of an angry lying shitsack.)
But anyway, the movie was good, it started off punchy and kind of languished toward the end, but then it wasn't a piece of music, it was a documentary film; one that makes the president look bad, and shows that he really does deserve to look bad. A good picture. Check out the depths to which Michael Isikoff will sink to try to sling something at this documentary. It'll be the most controversial thing since the jesus chainsaw massacre, so you'll just have to watch it yourself unless you want what you expect from the media sources you've grown to ignore.
My requirements for a "good movie" were met when there was a segment on the USA PATRIOT act. Ashcroft performed "let the eagle soar", and Moore finished the film up with an Orwell quote, the most memorable one in 1984, one of my favorite books. The one about the perpetual state of war.
Two days ago the lovely Joyce managed to cull some problems from the more antisocial neighborhoods of cyber vegas, and she's been putting me through hoops ever since. Factoring stinks, the word problems frequently are confusing syntactically; if the questions on the test are anything like the harder of the study questions, it's a year more of working some place I hate. Which is awful. But, if I get the score I need, and if I get into this watchmaking program, I will have a better time in general. I won't have to work with stupid, loud people. And I won't have a woman jerking me around. Won't THAT be something.
Joyce and I went to the matinee of the controversial "Fahrenheit 9/11" today. The "Fox 9 News" guy was sitting outside with his camera, waiting for a long line to form, so I took his picture. He smiled for the camera. Maybe he was investing in his karma a little. I had a feeling his network would play a prominent role in the film, and I was right. Not nearly enough of a role for the lies they love to pass off as news, but still, they were there. (My stupid publishing tool broke down on me this morning, but I posted a long Cheney piece which incorporated that he thought Fox was the most accurate of all the news stations, which is demonstrably the opposite of the truth here in what I like to refer to as "reality". This fact, coupled with him dropping the f-bomb on Leahy yesterday and his already posted lying about his war energy policy and lying about picking Halliburton to rebuild Iraq's oil business, makes for an unsavory picture of an angry lying shitsack.)
But anyway, the movie was good, it started off punchy and kind of languished toward the end, but then it wasn't a piece of music, it was a documentary film; one that makes the president look bad, and shows that he really does deserve to look bad. A good picture. Check out the depths to which Michael Isikoff will sink to try to sling something at this documentary. It'll be the most controversial thing since the jesus chainsaw massacre, so you'll just have to watch it yourself unless you want what you expect from the media sources you've grown to ignore.
My requirements for a "good movie" were met when there was a segment on the USA PATRIOT act. Ashcroft performed "let the eagle soar", and Moore finished the film up with an Orwell quote, the most memorable one in 1984, one of my favorite books. The one about the perpetual state of war.
At first I thought the page was hacked, but they're advertising the other side in a video. Click where it says "watch" Worst campaign ad ever.
GeorgeWBush.com :: The Official Re-election Site for President George W. Bush
GeorgeWBush.com :: The Official Re-election Site for President George W. Bush
gematriculator
Digital Music News: "A recently compiled 'BubblingUp' report indicates that artists receiving little or no radio play are still gaining very significant activity on file trading networks."
Thursday
Over at boing boing Cory Doctorow is having a fit over this piece of shit, I mean legislation, which will criminalize most of the internet. Come to think of it, we should all be aware of this situation. So in the spirit of awareness, here's The Importance of...: The Obsessively Annotated Introduction to the INDUCE Act
Wired News: Heavy Betting on Election Domains: "'He's a sorry son of a bitch and I'll do anything I can to bring him down,' said Rodgers, who now lives outside Austin and is using the domains to house a satire site poking fun at the president. "
The link in question, bush2004.com
The link in question, bush2004.com
Wednesday
I can't say for sure what would happen. No one can. We can make guesses based on what we know goes on so far, but still some things must be tried just to make sure, to test the boundaries of ourselves and of our fellow man.
I can't say for sure what would happen, though it's possible that somebody would get arrested, or beat up, or both, but there is a chance that somebody would get an incredible laugh out of somebody dressed up as "the grim reaper", in a black cloak and carrying a sickle, cruising through a hospital. Because that's the point. Making that one person laugh their asses off, and screw everybody else. It would be a patient that laughed, too. Somebody who was supposed to die later on that week or something, and then the anti-clown shows up. Holy shit would that be funny. Any volunteers? I'll buy the costume.
I can't say for sure what would happen, though it's possible that somebody would get arrested, or beat up, or both, but there is a chance that somebody would get an incredible laugh out of somebody dressed up as "the grim reaper", in a black cloak and carrying a sickle, cruising through a hospital. Because that's the point. Making that one person laugh their asses off, and screw everybody else. It would be a patient that laughed, too. Somebody who was supposed to die later on that week or something, and then the anti-clown shows up. Holy shit would that be funny. Any volunteers? I'll buy the costume.
"Steve, don't eat it!" is funny stuff. The guy writing it is clever and adventurous. this time:
fermented soybeans
Scroll for more, including the famous "beggin' strips" test.
fermented soybeans
Scroll for more, including the famous "beggin' strips" test.
Randy's new home, Taipei, sports
The World's Tallest Building (for Now)
The building is stabilized by a steel ball weighing 1,496,000 pounds, (748 tons) suspended from the 92nd floor by cables. Another estimate is only 730 tons. Still that's 1,460,000 pounds of steel.
Either way, it's nearly a million and a half pound steel ball. There's got to be a good story there.
"The damper will reduce the tower’s peak vibrations by more than one- third, say Motioneering officials. But the damper will not have any role during earthquakes. Then, the main concern is to ensure that the steel ball stays in control and does not swing wildly and destructively."
Indeed. Damage done by a giant steel ball is big damage.
The World's Tallest Building (for Now)
The building is stabilized by a steel ball weighing 1,496,000 pounds, (748 tons) suspended from the 92nd floor by cables. Another estimate is only 730 tons. Still that's 1,460,000 pounds of steel.
Either way, it's nearly a million and a half pound steel ball. There's got to be a good story there.
"The damper will reduce the tower’s peak vibrations by more than one- third, say Motioneering officials. But the damper will not have any role during earthquakes. Then, the main concern is to ensure that the steel ball stays in control and does not swing wildly and destructively."
Indeed. Damage done by a giant steel ball is big damage.
BBC: "The world's most difficult word to translate has been identified as 'ilunga' from the Tshiluba language spoken in south-eastern DR Congo. Ilunga means "a person who is ready to forgive any abuse for the first time, to tolerate it a second time, but never a third time". "
Tuesday
Well, ladies and gents and those poor souls in between I keep hearing of awesome documentary films of but never get to see because I don't get invited to those sorts of parties, I'm trying to get into a school program that only accepts 12 applicants a year. If anybody wants to send me memorable things I did that were really great, it will help me construct an essay with which to apply.
With the smartasses that you are, I realize I'm opening myself up for an amazing level of abuse, but I've got no choice. Anything I did that was detail-oriented or required patience will be a plus.
I had to write a 300 word essay this morning about year-round education that turned into something really good; one part of it said something to the effect of: from a policy standpoint, the "what about the childhood summer" sentimentality isn't worth the kleenex it's blown out on. Then that essay was graded by a computer. Stupid. I don't think it understood how good that was. According to the computerbot, it turns out I'm good at words and bad at numbers, so if I want to get into this program, I've got a week to learn algebra. Any study guides you can suggest would be welcome additions to the list of zero which I currently have.
I'm taking the lovely J to campiello tonight, which is a great restaurant. It's not every girlfriend that gets to go there. That probably sounds bad.
Thanks to Grant, who's inquiring about getting me out of the hellhole called my job.
With the smartasses that you are, I realize I'm opening myself up for an amazing level of abuse, but I've got no choice. Anything I did that was detail-oriented or required patience will be a plus.
I had to write a 300 word essay this morning about year-round education that turned into something really good; one part of it said something to the effect of: from a policy standpoint, the "what about the childhood summer" sentimentality isn't worth the kleenex it's blown out on. Then that essay was graded by a computer. Stupid. I don't think it understood how good that was. According to the computerbot, it turns out I'm good at words and bad at numbers, so if I want to get into this program, I've got a week to learn algebra. Any study guides you can suggest would be welcome additions to the list of zero which I currently have.
I'm taking the lovely J to campiello tonight, which is a great restaurant. It's not every girlfriend that gets to go there. That probably sounds bad.
Thanks to Grant, who's inquiring about getting me out of the hellhole called my job.
When the unpresident was bitching about activist judges, these weren't the ones he meant.
Now in addition to having to show your id to the cops, and getting the loser of the presidential election, we can't sue HMOs.
Welcome to the corporate FUCK-A-THON! You're it, and no tagbacks, ever!
UNBELIEVABLE.
Now in addition to having to show your id to the cops, and getting the loser of the presidential election, we can't sue HMOs.
Welcome to the corporate FUCK-A-THON! You're it, and no tagbacks, ever!
UNBELIEVABLE.
Flag grading Methodology
man spikes own drink... ugh
Information on "the football". Feel safe?
Yahoo! News - Nuclear 'Football' in Vatican Hallowed Halls
Yahoo! News - Nuclear 'Football' in Vatican Hallowed Halls
Monday
Boing Boing: You are now required to give your name to police when asked to
"By bizarre coincidence, the same five justices who ruled against our right to privacy are the same five who appointed popular and electoral loser Bush to be president."
I'm so not astonished.
"By bizarre coincidence, the same five justices who ruled against our right to privacy are the same five who appointed popular and electoral loser Bush to be president."
I'm so not astonished.
this is a sign I made at work and put on the coke machine. i wonder if anybody thought it was funny besides me.
this is a bunch of signs i made to try to get somebody to sign the stupid sheets so i could get done with my job of sealing the trays.
this is a bunch of signs i made to try to get somebody to sign the stupid sheets so i could get done with my job of sealing the trays.
Yet another great idea for a greeting card, this time, for exes.
Outside: "I'm glad we broke up."
Inside: "Each morning I wake up laughing and crying tears of joy, because every day without you is fucking heaven."
Outside: "I'm glad we broke up."
Inside: "Each morning I wake up laughing and crying tears of joy, because every day without you is fucking heaven."
Search Google for sites added today, yesterday, within the last seven days, or last 30 days
Fresh Goo(gle)
Fresh Goo(gle)
Sunday
An old photo I found here.
"Search all fields", select "image" as resource type. Lots of old pictures.
"Search all fields", select "image" as resource type. Lots of old pictures.
Arnold Schwarzenegger cameo in wacky asian commercial
Fiscal Conservative's Star Rises in Senate Bid: "a candidate who openly worries that the poor are not paying enough taxes"
Friday
I'm going camping, to practice for being homeless.
Have a great weekend and if you want, check out davezilla.
Have a great weekend and if you want, check out davezilla.
I think this blonde dressed as a nurse has a slightly lazy eye, but you'll hardly even notice.
Freowww!
NSFW
Freowww!
NSFW
If you like naked redheads like I like naked redheads, I am your favorite person for showing you this. And now you will find out how many windows you can have operating at the same time before your computer crashes.
Chicas Flash
NSFW
Chicas Flash
NSFW
Thursday
This is very scary. They want to take away my manhood!
Scientists find rodent monogamy gene - Jun 16, 2004
Scientists find rodent monogamy gene - Jun 16, 2004
Fiendish disputante George Bush disputes panel on link between al-Qaida, Saddam
Things are gettin' ugly here at the old job, but not for the reasons I thought they might.
After I set them up for a slam dunk (albeit one they would be forced to argue with me about, see the letter below), they talked to me about some stuff they found on one of the computers, under my username.
We used to have a generic username for all the computers with Novell. Everybody in the place used that and we never even logged off.
Now because of malware all over the boxes, they've got everyone their own username, and we have to log in and out all the time, which is a huge time drain. Need a label? Used to take under a minute, now takes four.
So one day (June 8, last Tuesday) I didn't log off, and somebody used my username to visit some stupid website. How I know this is that they took that poor, infected computer to clean all the spy gunk off and checked, get this, the favorites list in IE, which is where they found the following bookmarks, though I've forgotten more than ten more: Gay, Lesbian, Cool stuff, and Hardcore. They were all last modified at 2:25 PM June 8.
What this means, of course, is that some automaton who can't resist banner monkeys clicked and wound up some place that automatically imported a bunch of bookmarks. There is absolutely no fucking way somebody would import a group of bookmarks to their computer on purpose. Were these even cookies that they found? No. They were fucking bookmarks. Unbelievable.
Now, everybody had some that were inappropriate, but I was the only one with this specific group of them. So I'm beng disciplined. My manager, one of the recipients of the email below, had me sit down and told me this was a firing-worthy offense. Well, somebody getting me (wrongly) disciplined and confronted with my nonexistent gay porn fetish sounds litigation-worthy. It's not them I'm mad at, I mean, anybody could click through to anything around here with the swamp of popups, but for the administration to sit me down about this, that's reprehensible.
---Follow-up---
Doing the most obvious thing I could to try to figure out if I had clicked the banner monkey or not, I checked my blog to see what was on there around that time, and sure enough, at 2:16, I was finishing up a post. That day I was working in the IVs, and it wasn't me who clicked whatever it was that put that garbage on their computer, because as soon as I got done with that I went straight back to work. So my conscience is clean, but I don't think it would be wise to bring this kind of evidence to anyone's attention.
After I set them up for a slam dunk (albeit one they would be forced to argue with me about, see the letter below), they talked to me about some stuff they found on one of the computers, under my username.
We used to have a generic username for all the computers with Novell. Everybody in the place used that and we never even logged off.
Now because of malware all over the boxes, they've got everyone their own username, and we have to log in and out all the time, which is a huge time drain. Need a label? Used to take under a minute, now takes four.
So one day (June 8, last Tuesday) I didn't log off, and somebody used my username to visit some stupid website. How I know this is that they took that poor, infected computer to clean all the spy gunk off and checked, get this, the favorites list in IE, which is where they found the following bookmarks, though I've forgotten more than ten more: Gay, Lesbian, Cool stuff, and Hardcore. They were all last modified at 2:25 PM June 8.
What this means, of course, is that some automaton who can't resist banner monkeys clicked and wound up some place that automatically imported a bunch of bookmarks. There is absolutely no fucking way somebody would import a group of bookmarks to their computer on purpose. Were these even cookies that they found? No. They were fucking bookmarks. Unbelievable.
Now, everybody had some that were inappropriate, but I was the only one with this specific group of them. So I'm beng disciplined. My manager, one of the recipients of the email below, had me sit down and told me this was a firing-worthy offense. Well, somebody getting me (wrongly) disciplined and confronted with my nonexistent gay porn fetish sounds litigation-worthy. It's not them I'm mad at, I mean, anybody could click through to anything around here with the swamp of popups, but for the administration to sit me down about this, that's reprehensible.
---Follow-up---
Doing the most obvious thing I could to try to figure out if I had clicked the banner monkey or not, I checked my blog to see what was on there around that time, and sure enough, at 2:16, I was finishing up a post. That day I was working in the IVs, and it wasn't me who clicked whatever it was that put that garbage on their computer, because as soon as I got done with that I went straight back to work. So my conscience is clean, but I don't think it would be wise to bring this kind of evidence to anyone's attention.
I got so mad about my lack of computer privileges at my job, that I just sent this email to two of my managers:
Hi guys!
I know sometimes you've just got to lock things down to be safe, like the narc cart in the pharmacy, but there's a little situation that I hope I can appeal to your good natures to have changed.
The thing is, and I know this is familiar territory for us, when I go to do station checks, my hands are full of narcotics all day long, and about half the time there are discrepancies. Then guess what I have to do? Go get a nurse, and incur the third degree about why they're helping me document it. Yes, that's right, due to my not having independent discrepancy documentation privileges, I have to interrupt both my work and the nurses', and be suspected of theft, all in the normal course of my job! Not too super!
It should be obvious where we're headed. And I have to mention that I'm only going through this effort to clearly convey the ramifications of the seeming no-brainer not to give me any privileges, because I suspect your initial decision is "no".
This situation for me is disheartening and for you a waste of payroll, but it's easily fixable. Here's what we do: give me the privileges I have a perfect record of NOT ABUSING!
This is the part that kills me. I could very easily show up in your office with a hefty bag full of drugs just to show you that, from a security standpoint, it doesn't matter a pair of dingo's kidneys whether I have independent discrepancy documentation privileges or not, so I might as well have them, but that purely playful gesture because of its illegality would no doubt make me even more suspect than I already am, and all as a result of my vigorous protests that I can be trusted with the stupid drugs. Ironic, no?
Anyway, thanks for considering my modest proposal, and I'll look forward to the day when I can just count the drugs like I used to.
Thanks and have a great day,
Dale
Hi guys!
I know sometimes you've just got to lock things down to be safe, like the narc cart in the pharmacy, but there's a little situation that I hope I can appeal to your good natures to have changed.
The thing is, and I know this is familiar territory for us, when I go to do station checks, my hands are full of narcotics all day long, and about half the time there are discrepancies. Then guess what I have to do? Go get a nurse, and incur the third degree about why they're helping me document it. Yes, that's right, due to my not having independent discrepancy documentation privileges, I have to interrupt both my work and the nurses', and be suspected of theft, all in the normal course of my job! Not too super!
It should be obvious where we're headed. And I have to mention that I'm only going through this effort to clearly convey the ramifications of the seeming no-brainer not to give me any privileges, because I suspect your initial decision is "no".
This situation for me is disheartening and for you a waste of payroll, but it's easily fixable. Here's what we do: give me the privileges I have a perfect record of NOT ABUSING!
This is the part that kills me. I could very easily show up in your office with a hefty bag full of drugs just to show you that, from a security standpoint, it doesn't matter a pair of dingo's kidneys whether I have independent discrepancy documentation privileges or not, so I might as well have them, but that purely playful gesture because of its illegality would no doubt make me even more suspect than I already am, and all as a result of my vigorous protests that I can be trusted with the stupid drugs. Ironic, no?
Anyway, thanks for considering my modest proposal, and I'll look forward to the day when I can just count the drugs like I used to.
Thanks and have a great day,
Dale
Miserable Melodies - Music recorded with good intentions and bad results. Bad music.
Nimoy, Shatner, etc.
Nimoy, Shatner, etc.
Storm Photography Page
Thanks, DARPA, for the scary new crowd control!
Wednesday
House republicans looking out for the little guy as usual...
Accenture!
This is a shining example of what is wrong with the country. You and I pay the taxes, and the rich corporate rock stars move offshore into tax shelters, and congress tries to make it as easy as possible for them to do so.
Outrageous.
Accenture!
This is a shining example of what is wrong with the country. You and I pay the taxes, and the rich corporate rock stars move offshore into tax shelters, and congress tries to make it as easy as possible for them to do so.
Outrageous.
OBVIOUSLY:
CNN.com - 9/11 staff: No al Qaeda cooperation with Iraq - Jun 16, 2004
yesterday: Bush stands by Saddam, al qaeda link
yesterday: Bush: Afghanistan is a victory over terrorism
So there you have it folks, Fried potatoes, which are not healthy or vegetables, are suddenly good enough per the government to be called a fresh vegetable, and "Afghanistan" is a victory over terrorism. If it can't make sense at least the fantasy world is nicer! Alas, if the government declares that the municipal water that comes out of my kitchen sink is grape soda it doesn't make it taste good. Even though they possess the ability to pull off this miraculous definition-swap, I'd prefer if the truth was a priority. The liars have had enough chances and blown them.
Did I mention my ass hurts from being fucked over by these guys? I don't even know anybody who's died for Halliburton's no-bid contracts. Yet.
In other news, Cheney is still a liar and Bush is still insane and they're both still running the country anyway.
There's some egg on the faces of the lying republican noise machine. My prediction: nothing will change. With the combination of noise and fingers in ears, the truth doesn't matter.
Bush had faith we'd find weapns of mass destruction.
Cheney had faith we'd find the connection between Iraq and Al-Queda.
We went to war.
Hocus Pocus and reality are different.
What's the party line going to be on this one?
CNN.com - 9/11 staff: No al Qaeda cooperation with Iraq - Jun 16, 2004
yesterday: Bush stands by Saddam, al qaeda link
yesterday: Bush: Afghanistan is a victory over terrorism
So there you have it folks, Fried potatoes, which are not healthy or vegetables, are suddenly good enough per the government to be called a fresh vegetable, and "Afghanistan" is a victory over terrorism. If it can't make sense at least the fantasy world is nicer! Alas, if the government declares that the municipal water that comes out of my kitchen sink is grape soda it doesn't make it taste good. Even though they possess the ability to pull off this miraculous definition-swap, I'd prefer if the truth was a priority. The liars have had enough chances and blown them.
Did I mention my ass hurts from being fucked over by these guys? I don't even know anybody who's died for Halliburton's no-bid contracts. Yet.
In other news, Cheney is still a liar and Bush is still insane and they're both still running the country anyway.
There's some egg on the faces of the lying republican noise machine. My prediction: nothing will change. With the combination of noise and fingers in ears, the truth doesn't matter.
Bush had faith we'd find weapns of mass destruction.
Cheney had faith we'd find the connection between Iraq and Al-Queda.
We went to war.
Hocus Pocus and reality are different.
What's the party line going to be on this one?
If I was in charge,
Al Qaida would be
Al Corn dog!
(sorry, that's the worst picture of a corn dog I think I've ever seen)
Al Qaida would be
Al Corn dog!
(sorry, that's the worst picture of a corn dog I think I've ever seen)
Tuesday
Oh boy oh boy oh boy I just watched the Pistons close out the Lakers and it was great great great!!
My condolences to the left coast, but man was I tired of Gary Payton winning.
My condolences to the left coast, but man was I tired of Gary Payton winning.
The real separation of church and state.
Hi, I'm Dale. We are human beings, and our obligations in this life are to one another. I don't have to prove you exist, because you do. And you can see, because I have typed these words that appear on your screen, that I exist as well. We exist, and we know that because we do. That much makes sense. Now let me tell you about something that doesn't.
The guy running the country is nuts. Go ahead and read this village voice story:
Bush White House checked with rapture Christians before latest Israel move
From that story:
"[The guys George W. Bush met with] fear an Israeli withdrawal from Gaza might enable [a Palestinian state], and they object on the grounds that all of Old Testament Israel belongs to the Jews. Until Israel is intact and Solomon's temple rebuilt, they believe, Christ won't come back to earth."
"The problem is not that George W. Bush is discussing policy with people who press right-wing solutions to achieve peace in the Middle East, or with devout Christians. It is that he is discussing policy with Christians who might not care about peace at all—at least until the rapture."
So people who consider themselves favored by a deity are effectively making foreign policy. Can you possibly fathom how absurd that is?
There's a joke that it's not nice to be smarter than other people, which is funny because it's true. But to be so stupid that god seems like something that should be accounted for in making a decision that affects people's lives as in they live or die, that's where I draw the line.
Fuck being nice. Fuck being tolerant of the ones who make the world ugly with righteous zeal. It's philosophical nonsense to say what's true for you isn't true for me, and that's how I'm expected to handle the two-faced saccharine piety that is the belief system of the majority of the American populace. I will not suffer the weak-minded any more of this.
More, older insanity. Vice-president Cheney's christmas card.
These people are obsessed with the idea that god is on our side! That is insane. This is not funny and it's not healthy and there is no excuse for it, whatsoever. It simply must be stopped. Period.
Never mind that in contemporary America, not to believe in an imaginary being somewhere delegitimates you as "moral", or a "citizen"; that's just bullshit and in time the people saying it will be like the girls in school who stood firm in their belief that New Kids on the Block were the greatest. I take their dwarfish intellects about as seriously as ten year old girls'. They're stupid and I'm tired of them ruining my country. I don't need my brain massaged, I don't need the euphoric feelings that come along with the religious experience, and they who pretend to practice a religion that stresses resisting passage of judgement are judging me as morally inferior? They who need once a week to be sheperded are passing judgement on me for questioning what's good for people?
Reality, governed by physical law, is that there is no reason to assume there is a god. Tryng to prove there is one is a persistent metaphysical problem, so god-lovers everywhere have taken up the tactics of rhetoric. Despite what they say, being willing to make moral decisions in spite of that there is no such thing as god to make it easy and guilt-free is really not so tough, though it does entail a more rigorous degree of culpability, which logically has to be a good thing for the processes of civic decision-making, etc.
There is no other mandate for government than helping people. Because I acknowledge that and can make decisions based on secularity, I should be able to participate in a democracy and those who put god before any person of the six or seven billion in the entire world, should not. That's how we separate church and state.
Only secular humanists should be allowed to vote in a democracy. To an extent, we've trusted our way into a theocracy right now, and that's the saddest thing I can think of tonight.
Hi, I'm Dale. We are human beings, and our obligations in this life are to one another. I don't have to prove you exist, because you do. And you can see, because I have typed these words that appear on your screen, that I exist as well. We exist, and we know that because we do. That much makes sense. Now let me tell you about something that doesn't.
The guy running the country is nuts. Go ahead and read this village voice story:
Bush White House checked with rapture Christians before latest Israel move
From that story:
"[The guys George W. Bush met with] fear an Israeli withdrawal from Gaza might enable [a Palestinian state], and they object on the grounds that all of Old Testament Israel belongs to the Jews. Until Israel is intact and Solomon's temple rebuilt, they believe, Christ won't come back to earth."
"The problem is not that George W. Bush is discussing policy with people who press right-wing solutions to achieve peace in the Middle East, or with devout Christians. It is that he is discussing policy with Christians who might not care about peace at all—at least until the rapture."
So people who consider themselves favored by a deity are effectively making foreign policy. Can you possibly fathom how absurd that is?
There's a joke that it's not nice to be smarter than other people, which is funny because it's true. But to be so stupid that god seems like something that should be accounted for in making a decision that affects people's lives as in they live or die, that's where I draw the line.
Fuck being nice. Fuck being tolerant of the ones who make the world ugly with righteous zeal. It's philosophical nonsense to say what's true for you isn't true for me, and that's how I'm expected to handle the two-faced saccharine piety that is the belief system of the majority of the American populace. I will not suffer the weak-minded any more of this.
More, older insanity. Vice-president Cheney's christmas card.
These people are obsessed with the idea that god is on our side! That is insane. This is not funny and it's not healthy and there is no excuse for it, whatsoever. It simply must be stopped. Period.
Never mind that in contemporary America, not to believe in an imaginary being somewhere delegitimates you as "moral", or a "citizen"; that's just bullshit and in time the people saying it will be like the girls in school who stood firm in their belief that New Kids on the Block were the greatest. I take their dwarfish intellects about as seriously as ten year old girls'. They're stupid and I'm tired of them ruining my country. I don't need my brain massaged, I don't need the euphoric feelings that come along with the religious experience, and they who pretend to practice a religion that stresses resisting passage of judgement are judging me as morally inferior? They who need once a week to be sheperded are passing judgement on me for questioning what's good for people?
Reality, governed by physical law, is that there is no reason to assume there is a god. Tryng to prove there is one is a persistent metaphysical problem, so god-lovers everywhere have taken up the tactics of rhetoric. Despite what they say, being willing to make moral decisions in spite of that there is no such thing as god to make it easy and guilt-free is really not so tough, though it does entail a more rigorous degree of culpability, which logically has to be a good thing for the processes of civic decision-making, etc.
There is no other mandate for government than helping people. Because I acknowledge that and can make decisions based on secularity, I should be able to participate in a democracy and those who put god before any person of the six or seven billion in the entire world, should not. That's how we separate church and state.
Only secular humanists should be allowed to vote in a democracy. To an extent, we've trusted our way into a theocracy right now, and that's the saddest thing I can think of tonight.
Hey! Let's beat up people we disagree with!
There's no arguing --is there?-- the liberal media had something to do with this.
brought to you by Orcinus, a blog.
Messed up and uncool.
There's no arguing --is there?-- the liberal media had something to do with this.
brought to you by Orcinus, a blog.
Messed up and uncool.
More on the poll:Yahoo! News - Poll: Voters Say Iraq Didn't Merit War
If some things I talk about sound fake or made up, this link is for you.
Cheney is a liar. In other news, the earth is not flat.
According to this story, Charlene Dorcy alleges she shot her daughters in a gravel pit in Washington. She's got big mental problems. The story provides pictures of what a crazy lady looks like, and what a cute two-year old and four-year old girl look like, which is convenient if you read news stories with your feelings.
National review and everybody else this morning with news on the "Pledge" case, which is not about Atheism vs. America, as George H. W. ("I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens") Bush would have you think, but the constitutionality of requiring "god" to be acknowledged by children. George H. W. Bush celebrated his eightieth birthday strapped to a paratrooper who jumped out of a plane. According to another article, "Before the jump, Mr Bush said: "For me, the most wonderful part is when you're floating alone down to earth. It's total quiet . . . peace, total peace.""
More wonderful still, that guy strapped to his back is a member of the "golden knights", which I've never heard of but sounds like an opening act for the village people.
Gorby sent flowers and vodka to the happy couple.
whee!
National review and everybody else this morning with news on the "Pledge" case, which is not about Atheism vs. America, as George H. W. ("I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens") Bush would have you think, but the constitutionality of requiring "god" to be acknowledged by children. George H. W. Bush celebrated his eightieth birthday strapped to a paratrooper who jumped out of a plane. According to another article, "Before the jump, Mr Bush said: "For me, the most wonderful part is when you're floating alone down to earth. It's total quiet . . . peace, total peace.""
More wonderful still, that guy strapped to his back is a member of the "golden knights", which I've never heard of but sounds like an opening act for the village people.
Gorby sent flowers and vodka to the happy couple.
whee!
Monday
I have the chance to name a turtle. Myrtle is an obvious choice, I think, as is Toby. So I'm thinking of naming it scrotum. I'm only kidding.
Any suggestions?
Any suggestions?
The Pistons-Lakers series is going well for the Wallace boys and poorly for the stupid crappy Lakers. Kobe Bryant, erstwhile dominator of the backside, I mean backcourt, will have to step it up a little. Why? Rip Hamilton thoroughly embarassed his lazy ass. That funny-looking mask was the difference if you ask me. Of course he had his way with Kobe Bryant the way Kobe Bryant... nevermind, but let's take a closer look at the Lakers and the Pistons.
Piston Rip Hamilton looks like the f**ing phantom of the opera. The Lakers have got, and I quote (homo) Bob Costas, "movie-star handsome Rick Fox". Laker Kobe Bryant, perennial pretty boy, finds himself in the death grip of Piston "Big Ben" Wallace. Ben looks like a savage with that crazy haircut, an image he no doubt embraces. He's a monster. My favorite, Rasheed Wallace, always looks on the cusp of a nervous breakdown, living at the peak of his emotions. It's never a mystery how he feels. Totally emotionally naked, that guy. Refreshing, compared with the penitentiary-faced O'Neal and Karl Malone. Those bozos look like they EXPECT to win, and nobody likes that except with regards to the American military over everybody else, forever. Wait, it's not everybody that feels that way since we went to "war on terror". Anyway, this finals matchup is like Three dog night versus the Backstreet boys. The Pistons get by on talent. If you haven't watched any of this series, please tune in before it's too late, and enjoy the putrefaction of Gary Payton's self esteem! He's a turd, and if you can't watch him get hit by a bus, you can watch his eyes fill with mopey lugubrium as he moseys off court to his stupid awesome car and sweet condo somewhere awesome. Why can't he get hit by lightning or sucked into an earthquake or something? That guy sucks.
Piston Rip Hamilton looks like the f**ing phantom of the opera. The Lakers have got, and I quote (homo) Bob Costas, "movie-star handsome Rick Fox". Laker Kobe Bryant, perennial pretty boy, finds himself in the death grip of Piston "Big Ben" Wallace. Ben looks like a savage with that crazy haircut, an image he no doubt embraces. He's a monster. My favorite, Rasheed Wallace, always looks on the cusp of a nervous breakdown, living at the peak of his emotions. It's never a mystery how he feels. Totally emotionally naked, that guy. Refreshing, compared with the penitentiary-faced O'Neal and Karl Malone. Those bozos look like they EXPECT to win, and nobody likes that except with regards to the American military over everybody else, forever. Wait, it's not everybody that feels that way since we went to "war on terror". Anyway, this finals matchup is like Three dog night versus the Backstreet boys. The Pistons get by on talent. If you haven't watched any of this series, please tune in before it's too late, and enjoy the putrefaction of Gary Payton's self esteem! He's a turd, and if you can't watch him get hit by a bus, you can watch his eyes fill with mopey lugubrium as he moseys off court to his stupid awesome car and sweet condo somewhere awesome. Why can't he get hit by lightning or sucked into an earthquake or something? That guy sucks.
These were fairly widely read by netizens over the last two days as well and are good light reading for Print At Work:
Asia Times: I made pizza for Kim Jong-il
Part 1: Welcome to megalopolis
Part 2: Hot ovens at the seaside
Part 3: The great man eats
Asia Times: I made pizza for Kim Jong-il
Part 1: Welcome to megalopolis
Part 2: Hot ovens at the seaside
Part 3: The great man eats
This story's a couple days old, but the more I thought about it the more I thought I ought to put it up here. From this The New Yorker story, a suicide poem thought to be by Honest Abe when he was 29:
Yes! I’ve resolved the deed to do,
And this the place to do it:
This heart I’ll rush a dagger through
Though I in hell should rue it!
Sweet steel! Come forth from out your sheath,
And glist’ning, speak your powers;
Rip up the organs of my breath,
And draw my blood in showers!
I strike! It quivers in that heart
Which drives me to this end;
I draw and kiss the bloody dart,
My last—my only friend!
Pretty wild eh?
Also yesterday's, this is a good print at work article about the emotional costs associated with the service economy.
Yes! I’ve resolved the deed to do,
And this the place to do it:
This heart I’ll rush a dagger through
Though I in hell should rue it!
Sweet steel! Come forth from out your sheath,
And glist’ning, speak your powers;
Rip up the organs of my breath,
And draw my blood in showers!
I strike! It quivers in that heart
Which drives me to this end;
I draw and kiss the bloody dart,
My last—my only friend!
Pretty wild eh?
Also yesterday's, this is a good print at work article about the emotional costs associated with the service economy.
Sunday
Ronald Reagan Chesterfield Cigarette Advertisements: Awesome Health Posters for Patriotic Kids! - from WHITEHOUSE.ORG
Friday night I didn't go bowling like I planned. Chet flaked out, and by this I was unsurprised. I was surprised that the lovely Joyce's friend Jackie scored some sweet seats at the Twins game. We went to the middle and started walking down till we wound up five rows behind the plate. At that range, if you say something to a player, he's going to hear you. You can tell who they are by what they look like; they're not little specks waaay down there like in an airplane. The lovely Joyce could tell who Mauer was, and she enjoyed that. The guy up and to my left knew them all, or really knew the hell out of baseball or both, because he was speaking in what sounded like a different language. It doesn't help the story that I can't remember anything he said, but oh well. The food in that section was awesome. They've got frozen yogurt, barbecue, GOOD BEER, all kinds of stuff. You can watch the ball actually curve from there. The best seat in the entire stadium, though, is occupied by the guy with the radar gun, testing pitch speed. The radar gun's not mounted or anything, he's just holding it, wobbling it around, and he gets to sit there and probably gets paid three times what I do. Man. The Twinkies lost 11 - 6. On the way out I saw all the sports columnists at their big stadium-table-desks and I waved to one for some reason. Just as my hand shot up I remembered hearing him on a radio show complaining about how people he doesn't even know wave at him and how much he hates it because they're all idiots for not considering that they're strangers to him. I retracted my hand from the air and left the metrodome, happy I don't have to stand in the fringes and smoke any more.
The morals of the story... there are some really good seats in this world you know nothing about...smoking is a pain in the butt...don't wave at strangers.
The morals of the story... there are some really good seats in this world you know nothing about...smoking is a pain in the butt...don't wave at strangers.
A cheerful thought for Sunday:
One can acquire certainty only by amputating inquiry.
- Marvin Minsky
One can acquire certainty only by amputating inquiry.
- Marvin Minsky
GetAnnoyed.com - How To Annoy People
Some very funny suggestions, and an annoying popup which only occurs when you roll your mouse over the graphic.
Some very funny suggestions, and an annoying popup which only occurs when you roll your mouse over the graphic.
Saturday
Off color humor, what would this guy do with an invisible penis? at Studio8.net
In real life you try not to notice it, on the internet you look on purpose...
Cameltoe World
not safe for work
Cameltoe World
not safe for work
Lots of greatwallpapers
A game, a chatroom, Maid Marian MMORPG
Rush Limbaugh demostrates the sanctity of marriage:
Limbaugh, wife, married 10 years, announce divorce
Limbaugh, wife, married 10 years, announce divorce
All right, the holy ghost.
There's god, which or whom is invisible and is assumed to exist because of an ever-shrinking list of reasons (thanks, science!), and because people have a problem assuming responsibility for the way they feel. A guy with the best intentions in the world once told me "you can't see the wind, but you can feel its effects." It's not nice to be smarter than other people, so I didn't tell him how ridiculous that is. Bob Dylan might have said: you don't need a clergyman to know which way the wind blows.
Anyway, god is fairly well understood. With one god we get oversimplistic notions of linear causality, so I personally think as long as humans have to blame and thank somebody for the way they perceive things as going, it ought to be a group of gods who argue amongst each other, and not just one who is responsible for everything. Since of course there is no such thing as the bogeyman, it's stupid to blame anyone for the things that happen in notoriously indifferent nature, but at least with a pantheon we wouldn't have one god which contradicts itself.
So there's god and then his relative Jesus. Jesus claimed to be the son of god and just generally shook things up by saying how people ought to be nice to each other, and how the merciful are blessed, among other things that right-wing radio infotainment jocks would drag him over the coals for. So they hung him up and waited for him to die, which he did, and then he came back to life later. Or so the story goes. At some point much later, he showed up in Utah, I think, depending on who you ask.
So that leaves the holy ghost. The holy ghost (or as I like to call him, "holy! yo, holester!"; we're friends) is a ghost who lives in the same supernatural dimension as Pop and Sonny, but the holy ghost can come out and manifest itself in us! So sometimes holy can get in your body and make you do really awesome righteous stuff! If you don't believe me, just look around this google search for the holy ghost. Who is that? Is it Jesus's ghost? But he's still alive! Did Jesus come back from the dead with only half of his soul, and the other half went on to enjoy celebrity as the holy ghost? Do they ever hang out together and play table tennis? Who wins? Does the holy ghost get inside Jesus and make him order extra anchovies, and then later Jesus says, "Oh, you big kidder you!" and then they high five and go surfing like in some mentos commercial? But seriously, a ghost that is holy. Of all the doodge.
There's god, which or whom is invisible and is assumed to exist because of an ever-shrinking list of reasons (thanks, science!), and because people have a problem assuming responsibility for the way they feel. A guy with the best intentions in the world once told me "you can't see the wind, but you can feel its effects." It's not nice to be smarter than other people, so I didn't tell him how ridiculous that is. Bob Dylan might have said: you don't need a clergyman to know which way the wind blows.
Anyway, god is fairly well understood. With one god we get oversimplistic notions of linear causality, so I personally think as long as humans have to blame and thank somebody for the way they perceive things as going, it ought to be a group of gods who argue amongst each other, and not just one who is responsible for everything. Since of course there is no such thing as the bogeyman, it's stupid to blame anyone for the things that happen in notoriously indifferent nature, but at least with a pantheon we wouldn't have one god which contradicts itself.
So there's god and then his relative Jesus. Jesus claimed to be the son of god and just generally shook things up by saying how people ought to be nice to each other, and how the merciful are blessed, among other things that right-wing radio infotainment jocks would drag him over the coals for. So they hung him up and waited for him to die, which he did, and then he came back to life later. Or so the story goes. At some point much later, he showed up in Utah, I think, depending on who you ask.
So that leaves the holy ghost. The holy ghost (or as I like to call him, "holy! yo, holester!"; we're friends) is a ghost who lives in the same supernatural dimension as Pop and Sonny, but the holy ghost can come out and manifest itself in us! So sometimes holy can get in your body and make you do really awesome righteous stuff! If you don't believe me, just look around this google search for the holy ghost. Who is that? Is it Jesus's ghost? But he's still alive! Did Jesus come back from the dead with only half of his soul, and the other half went on to enjoy celebrity as the holy ghost? Do they ever hang out together and play table tennis? Who wins? Does the holy ghost get inside Jesus and make him order extra anchovies, and then later Jesus says, "Oh, you big kidder you!" and then they high five and go surfing like in some mentos commercial? But seriously, a ghost that is holy. Of all the doodge.
Friday
It's been a while... Ashcroft sings
It feels good to bleed. My annual-or-so (know what I mean?) dentist's appointment rolled around this morning and they scraped some thankfully un-epic gunk off my pearly whites, torturing my gums in the process. It felt, initially, like a stabbing from a Bogart picture, but that very quickly morphed into more of what I'd call a bath of pain, laving my gums in heaving tides of grinding, meted fury. Once it was over in one area it moved around my mouth to the next, and the next, at the whim of the sharp, expertly wielded metal tool. I started wanting it after a while of this. I'd imagine I was tensing up part of my gums in fear so that when the scraper went to town on them it would be a sensation I'd really got myself worked up over. They said it's largely because I stopped smoking about a month ago that the pain I fancied I felt was so intense, that now that blood is actually flowing to them again it's shock-tastic. They also said the cleanings after this one would be cake. I have to floss regularly, though. That helps the whole process. (They didn't say shock-tastic, but it would be a lot cooler if they did.)
I love food, and I love Bill's imported foods. While there today a woman in shiny, tight-fitting clothes steered me to some Bulgarian hot pepper dip. I loved the dip almost as much as that lady's painted-on pants. *Add some cheese to that dip and it's pimento cheese, pretty much, nothing amazing, but I can imagine moving to some other country (think "four more years") and missing the flavors of my native munchies. Wait a minute. I'll never have to do that, because of the Americacentric miracle of globalism. Anyway, the lady got me to try some stuff not all that terrific, but to her it was. I once was offered twizzlers when twizzlers were new, with the explanaiton that they were the best thing ever. That's enthusiasm for you. Unmitigated enthusiasm on a group level and you get really ugly shit, but one to one, it's just sort of weirdness and you can let it go. Unless it's morality. But anyway, got to get going. Got to bowl. The lanes call, and I must answer.
*intentionally awkward segue
I love food, and I love Bill's imported foods. While there today a woman in shiny, tight-fitting clothes steered me to some Bulgarian hot pepper dip. I loved the dip almost as much as that lady's painted-on pants. *Add some cheese to that dip and it's pimento cheese, pretty much, nothing amazing, but I can imagine moving to some other country (think "four more years") and missing the flavors of my native munchies. Wait a minute. I'll never have to do that, because of the Americacentric miracle of globalism. Anyway, the lady got me to try some stuff not all that terrific, but to her it was. I once was offered twizzlers when twizzlers were new, with the explanaiton that they were the best thing ever. That's enthusiasm for you. Unmitigated enthusiasm on a group level and you get really ugly shit, but one to one, it's just sort of weirdness and you can let it go. Unless it's morality. But anyway, got to get going. Got to bowl. The lanes call, and I must answer.
*intentionally awkward segue
In the original it means something like courageous and intelligent, probably, but not here.
Thursday
what are the chances of this mysterious illness!?
:: No One For President 2004 ::
"Of this years presidential candidates, No One is breathing new life into our stale and corrupted political system. No One is prepared to stand up to corporate control in Washington. No One has a consistent record of opposition to the imperial ambitions of this, and previous, administrations. No One deserves your trust and confidence!"
"Of this years presidential candidates, No One is breathing new life into our stale and corrupted political system. No One is prepared to stand up to corporate control in Washington. No One has a consistent record of opposition to the imperial ambitions of this, and previous, administrations. No One deserves your trust and confidence!"
Random GARFIELD generator
Undergraduate Research Journal for the Human Sciences: "Surprisingly, few linguistic studies have considered the topic of Internet dialects."
Remember when I said "wouldn't it be ironic if..."?
Here is the text of an email I got from the people I bought my new dvd player from:
"In order to play regions other then 1 (North America), you have to reprogram your player. Turn it on without inserting disk. Then press menu on your remote control, when you see menu press 1 and 9. That will do it.
Thank you, [name protected]"
Funny, no?
News from my house: dvd player for sale. Forty bucks, free shipping.
Email me.
[expletive.]
Here is the text of an email I got from the people I bought my new dvd player from:
"In order to play regions other then 1 (North America), you have to reprogram your player. Turn it on without inserting disk. Then press menu on your remote control, when you see menu press 1 and 9. That will do it.
Thank you, [name protected]"
Funny, no?
News from my house: dvd player for sale. Forty bucks, free shipping.
Email me.
[expletive.]
Wednesday
Too funny. Elect Bush/Zombie Reagan!
I want one! cool door bells
What's it going to be? October surprise!
I want one! cool door bells
What's it going to be? October surprise!
Ron Bumsfeld sends this, which is a graphic. What it says, very nonlinearly, is that conspicuously more fat people voted for Bush than Gore in 2000.
So there's the fat argument to go along with the stupid argument. According to what I've seen, stupid and fat people are a hell of a lot more likely to think Bush is super.
Ron and I are not overweight.
Thanks, Ron.
So there's the fat argument to go along with the stupid argument. According to what I've seen, stupid and fat people are a hell of a lot more likely to think Bush is super.
Ron and I are not overweight.
Thanks, Ron.
Bad news for seminary students:
Ananova: regular sex helps students
In an unrelated story, Congratulations to Joyce for making the dean's list! Such a smarty.
Very fast car:
Car and Driver Magazine : Extreme Sports : Lotus Elise
A confusing situation
Cool films: "KDLAB is an interdisciplinary design firm intent on exploring the blurred boundaries between architecture, graphics, and film" here
Something strange which I suspect was born in a certain animated beatles movie here
retrocrush salvages some greatness with: the fifty coolest song parts
Pinky's world of female masturbation euphemisms! here
I never get tired of the cartoons at Buttercup festival
This is a conflict between hyenas and lions. I have no audio on, so I don't know if it's any good or not, but the video is.
Cool old car pictures
Ananova: regular sex helps students
In an unrelated story, Congratulations to Joyce for making the dean's list! Such a smarty.
Very fast car:
Car and Driver Magazine : Extreme Sports : Lotus Elise
A confusing situation
Cool films: "KDLAB is an interdisciplinary design firm intent on exploring the blurred boundaries between architecture, graphics, and film" here
Something strange which I suspect was born in a certain animated beatles movie here
retrocrush salvages some greatness with: the fifty coolest song parts
Pinky's world of female masturbation euphemisms! here
I never get tired of the cartoons at Buttercup festival
This is a conflict between hyenas and lions. I have no audio on, so I don't know if it's any good or not, but the video is.
Cool old car pictures
Tuesday
There has been quite a happening.
There was a disappointing series of events culminating in tonight's heartbreaking arrival of a dvd player that said it was region free, but was in fact, not. I had bought this turkey to play a Russ Meyer dvd I had bought without noticing that it was a PAL (region 2) dvd. After spending eighty bucks to watch this fucker (twenty by getting the dvd from the UK rather than forty direct from Russ Meyer and sixty for the "region free" dvd player) I was a-sulkin'.
DVD and TV formats are broken up into regions for convenience. Region one is NTSC format, which is most of the world. Region 2, PAL, is the UK, Australia, and some other places, but not many. Region 3 is pretty much just France. Region zero, well that's ALL regions.
I had given up hope, and was just punishing myself pricing region free dvd players when I found... at this fine website, a hack to make my previously owned, cheap-ass (no offense, Joyce) dvd player region free.
It said to press 9, 9, 9, 9, 0, on the remote, and then bam, it worked right. If I want a specific region I just enter that region's number after the four nines. A dvd player that is supposed to play only region one dvds can be modified to do all of them by pressing some buttons on the remote. That's hilarious. I couldn't believe it and neither could Joyce. So check this site out and if it works, give him a couple bucks. Then enjoy the sucky-region dvd savings on ebay, the world's biggest mail-order catalog.
So it is a good day, and hopefully I will get my money back for the misadvertised dvd player I got in the mail. It would be ironic if he sent me an email sending me to that website for a hack, wouldn't it?
Cory Doctorow (no relation to E. L.) would say this is a great example of how technology companies break their products (in this case disabling their usefulness to ship more models), then (although I have no evidence of this in this case, it's a safe bet) get mad when they get hacked. He would say that hacking is making something do what it can naturally do. It's not stealing, it's repairing. He's right. But I'm not Cory Doctorow. I just wanted to watch a booby picture, and now I can.
There was a disappointing series of events culminating in tonight's heartbreaking arrival of a dvd player that said it was region free, but was in fact, not. I had bought this turkey to play a Russ Meyer dvd I had bought without noticing that it was a PAL (region 2) dvd. After spending eighty bucks to watch this fucker (twenty by getting the dvd from the UK rather than forty direct from Russ Meyer and sixty for the "region free" dvd player) I was a-sulkin'.
DVD and TV formats are broken up into regions for convenience. Region one is NTSC format, which is most of the world. Region 2, PAL, is the UK, Australia, and some other places, but not many. Region 3 is pretty much just France. Region zero, well that's ALL regions.
I had given up hope, and was just punishing myself pricing region free dvd players when I found... at this fine website, a hack to make my previously owned, cheap-ass (no offense, Joyce) dvd player region free.
It said to press 9, 9, 9, 9, 0, on the remote, and then bam, it worked right. If I want a specific region I just enter that region's number after the four nines. A dvd player that is supposed to play only region one dvds can be modified to do all of them by pressing some buttons on the remote. That's hilarious. I couldn't believe it and neither could Joyce. So check this site out and if it works, give him a couple bucks. Then enjoy the sucky-region dvd savings on ebay, the world's biggest mail-order catalog.
So it is a good day, and hopefully I will get my money back for the misadvertised dvd player I got in the mail. It would be ironic if he sent me an email sending me to that website for a hack, wouldn't it?
Cory Doctorow (no relation to E. L.) would say this is a great example of how technology companies break their products (in this case disabling their usefulness to ship more models), then (although I have no evidence of this in this case, it's a safe bet) get mad when they get hacked. He would say that hacking is making something do what it can naturally do. It's not stealing, it's repairing. He's right. But I'm not Cory Doctorow. I just wanted to watch a booby picture, and now I can.
When she got in her car she was mad. She had been broken up with at a socially inopportune time. She was embarrassed, furious, and driving the hell out of her cheap little hatchback. With a hundred miles to go she lit a marlboro light. It isn't known if she was angry as hell the whole drive or if for just a minute she listened to the radio and spaced out, yawning. I think she was probably pissed off the whole trip, though. The reason that is, is because when I got back to my apartment, she was already in it. She must have passed us on the highway getting back to Cookeville, and raised holy hell, because my two roommates, Bobby and Mindy, were sitting in the couch staring at me when I walked through the door. They looked like they'd already heard more yelling than anyone ought to, and after that there was more. I got the brunt of that, though. Not like I should have. Breaking up with someone should make you free of them, but breaking up with M. only drew her closer, where the chaos was. It was wild, lasted all night, and ended in total fatigue. It should have been the beginning of the end, but it was just the beginning. It was the worst relationship of all time, and I was half of it. It's the worst story I know, and it's all true. I look back on it like a veteran looks back on a bloody battlefield; every day is like a freebie, like retirement, after the madness of that relationship.
The sound of complete emotional turmoil awoke me. I'm running linux off a cd so I'm not sure the time will show up right, so it's ten of seven. It's the guy across the street on the second floor, yelling out his window. How pathetic to hear someone having an emotional meltdown. He's been screaming about someone slashing his tires. I'm not sure whether or not it should bother me that he sees no alternative to screaming his head off; if he doesn't, does that make him more likely to kill me? Is this the only way for him to get this out of his system? See what an accomodating person I am? Scream, scream, people, believe in ridiculous things, sleep with and marry who you like, do whatever you want, just don't kill me. Thanks!
The mystery of goatse revealed! Do not click this if you aren't familiar with goatse. Look it up instead, read about it, and then come back here. It is gross. Seriously.
goatse guy portfolio
goatse guy portfolio
Monday
Rumsfeld has change of heart?
Anybody want to bet he turns up dead in the woods?
Rumsfeld fears U.S. losing long-term fight against terror
""It's quite clear to me that we do not have a coherent approach to this," Rumsfeld said at an international security conference."
Anybody want to bet he turns up dead in the woods?
Rumsfeld fears U.S. losing long-term fight against terror
""It's quite clear to me that we do not have a coherent approach to this," Rumsfeld said at an international security conference."
Lose weight and feel holy with the garden of eden diet!
Iraqis are paying 5 cents a gallon for gas. Here
Iraqis are paying 5 cents a gallon for gas. Here
10 pages of info on the global battle between intellectual liberty and control.
here
BBC: atlantis may be found
here
I can't wait to get home and download these audio interviews with philip k. dick
here
BBC: atlantis may be found
here
I can't wait to get home and download these audio interviews with philip k. dick
Let's face it, my air conditioner is too weak to save me from this heat. The only thing to do is get a fan and a spray bottle, which I have. As long as the temperature outside doesn't go above ninety-five or so, this will be effective. When it gets hotter, there is only one thing that can be done, which is to open the fire hydrant. The water coming out of there is cold and powerful enough to extinguish the sun.
Sunday
Looks like somebody slashed my tires, plural. Two of them. They got one of Joyce's, and about fifty other tires around the neighborhood. Ah, city livin'. Rumor has it the police either have or have released and know who is the perp. It'd be nice to say "heads are going to roll" and mean it, but nothing will probably happen, other than me buying new tires. Grr.
On the positive side, Saint Paul was beautiful today for "grand old days", a street fair on Grand Avenue. Really nice over there, totally packed with people. Hot and sunburny. Music-y and beer-scented. By the time we left it was the kind of thing where very frequently you touch arms with strangers, and it's a pretty big touch, we were so packed onto the street. But those guys, all of them, are your fellow citizens, the ones that vote and have feelings and that the law is set up to protect if they're accused of something they didn't do, so it wasn't so bad touching their arms. They might give me a hand some time when I need help getting my car started. Which will be a while longer now.
On the positive side, Saint Paul was beautiful today for "grand old days", a street fair on Grand Avenue. Really nice over there, totally packed with people. Hot and sunburny. Music-y and beer-scented. By the time we left it was the kind of thing where very frequently you touch arms with strangers, and it's a pretty big touch, we were so packed onto the street. But those guys, all of them, are your fellow citizens, the ones that vote and have feelings and that the law is set up to protect if they're accused of something they didn't do, so it wasn't so bad touching their arms. They might give me a hand some time when I need help getting my car started. Which will be a while longer now.
RESUME
GEORGE W. BUSH
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20520
EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
Law Enforcement:
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.
Military:
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.
College:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.
PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business in Midland,Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:
I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America. I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money. I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.
With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record. I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week. I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury. I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history. I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period. I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period. I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month. I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
I set the record for most campaign fundraising trips by a U.S. President. I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations. My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History - Enron. My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision. I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. Hence, more time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating the biggest corporate rip-off in history.
I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed. I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history. I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts. I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S. history.
I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government. I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history. I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission. I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law. I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention. I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election) I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television. I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history. I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history. I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind.
I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community. I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in wartime. In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.
I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security. I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD. I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.
RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view. All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view. All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President,
attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.
PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.
GEORGE W. BUSH
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20520
EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
Law Enforcement:
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.
Military:
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.
College:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.
PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business in Midland,Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:
I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America. I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money. I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.
With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record. I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week. I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury. I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history. I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period. I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period. I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month. I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
I set the record for most campaign fundraising trips by a U.S. President. I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations. My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History - Enron. My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision. I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. Hence, more time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating the biggest corporate rip-off in history.
I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed. I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history. I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts. I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S. history.
I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government. I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history. I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission. I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law. I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention. I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election) I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television. I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history. I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history. I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind.
I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community. I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in wartime. In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.
I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security. I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD. I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.
RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view. All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view. All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President,
attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.
PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.
Toby Keith says:
Bill O'Reilly says:
Michael Savage says:
Sean Hannity says:
Supporters have pooled over $1000000 towards "goodnight sweet patriot", a ronald reagan tribute.
Reached for comment Limbaugh said:
"It's the least we can do for the man who saved us from the sandanistas."
So cheers to Reagan, who saved Afghanistan from evil Russian terrorists.
Bill O'Reilly says:
Michael Savage says:
Sean Hannity says:
Supporters have pooled over $1000000 towards "goodnight sweet patriot", a ronald reagan tribute.
Reached for comment Limbaugh said:
"It's the least we can do for the man who saved us from the sandanistas."
So cheers to Reagan, who saved Afghanistan from evil Russian terrorists.
Saturday
I think this is the biggest news story of the day, man goes on rampage in converted bulldozer.
I bet the last man on earth would have nightmares about a ringing phone he couldn't get to.
An idea for a movie:
Thunderfeather Jones, half indian, half black, rejected by both, he invents his own wacky identity that in the end everybody likes! Native African American Thunderfeather Jones! Eh?!
Back to work, land of the weekend bad music. Hurts so good, mellencamp, Walking in Memphis, some dope, and hear some funky dixieland. Did they know I'd be listening? Their being out to get me is the only explanation for this SHITE!
An idea for a movie:
Thunderfeather Jones, half indian, half black, rejected by both, he invents his own wacky identity that in the end everybody likes! Native African American Thunderfeather Jones! Eh?!
Back to work, land of the weekend bad music. Hurts so good, mellencamp, Walking in Memphis, some dope, and hear some funky dixieland. Did they know I'd be listening? Their being out to get me is the only explanation for this SHITE!
I woke up to George Bush's voice telling the people of Italy "the war on terror is not over. There is a network of people who want to murder and kill." That's so stupid it hurts to listen to. Which reminds me, I used to wake up to Dr. Laura before she was canceled in my market because I couldn't sleep through her yelling at the pathetic, lost cretins that gather goggle-eyed around their radios to hear her wisdom. Bush's quote finished with "they want us to retreat from the world. That sounded stupid too. So I googled it, and it's been said one other time. By Richard Myers:
"It's great to be able to participate again in the Air War College's National Security Forum"... "they want us to retreat from the world"
"It's great to be able to participate again in the Air War College's National Security Forum"... "they want us to retreat from the world"
Remember samorost? This is the same thing, pretty much, but with annoying sound. You turn it down and it starts over. So you keep having to move the indicator back and forth. The Polyphonic Spree - The Quest For The Rest
Friday
Newsgaming.com -- September 12th
This is a statement more than anything. Sort of a wink, nudge deal.
This is a statement more than anything. Sort of a wink, nudge deal.
This is a game, but besides dress your gay dog, it's the worst thing around, so I put it here instead of where the games go.
Petals Around the Roses
How did you do on this? I got so pissed off I had to cheat. Just another thing I can blame on nicotine withdrawal, though, so it's ok.
How did you do on this? I got so pissed off I had to cheat. Just another thing I can blame on nicotine withdrawal, though, so it's ok.
StayInvisible.com is a daily updated list of really functioning free public proxy servers.
Netwrok security noobs si teh PWNED & ghey.
Netwrok security noobs si teh PWNED & ghey.
About Lord of the rings:
Those are books I've never read. Fantasy novels always give me the creeps. I just don't want to read about things that don't exist that I have to learn all new words for.
'But fantasy books are really cool!' Of course it's going to be amazing if you get to make up a whole new language to describe it. Duh. I could make up a word and tell you the feeling to have when I say it, and then that would also be the coolest. Wait, is that what "god" is for?
Anyway, I'm aware there is a successful book called "the dragons of pern". I will not ever read that thing. Dragons? Pern? Is that my puke gland acting up? Maybe it's a great book. Maybe gay sex is great. But I don't give a shit, because I'm not trying either one.
Those are books I've never read. Fantasy novels always give me the creeps. I just don't want to read about things that don't exist that I have to learn all new words for.
'But fantasy books are really cool!' Of course it's going to be amazing if you get to make up a whole new language to describe it. Duh. I could make up a word and tell you the feeling to have when I say it, and then that would also be the coolest. Wait, is that what "god" is for?
Anyway, I'm aware there is a successful book called "the dragons of pern". I will not ever read that thing. Dragons? Pern? Is that my puke gland acting up? Maybe it's a great book. Maybe gay sex is great. But I don't give a shit, because I'm not trying either one.
Thursday
I hope I never find out the backstory on any of these people... Darren Lake - The internet's biggest crybaby
SHAKA LAKA, Not Safe For Work, naked body stunt ensues
Herald Sun: BAT tests chocolate cigarettes [03jun04]
Oh my gosh! chocolate! What'll they think of next? Duh. For a list of the ingredients in some popular cigarettes, click here. Surf that for a while. You used to be able to see what was in each brand, but they knocked that off, which is too bad. This way the denial that that ingredient is in "my kind" can remain intact.
Oh my gosh! chocolate! What'll they think of next? Duh. For a list of the ingredients in some popular cigarettes, click here. Surf that for a while. You used to be able to see what was in each brand, but they knocked that off, which is too bad. This way the denial that that ingredient is in "my kind" can remain intact.
A collection of resources at War TV - 24 Hr Live Streaming News
Congrats to Emily on getting A-listed this week, the media blitz is coming together.
Johnboy is off to Colorado, the land of many fun things to do, Joyce is in Wisconsin visiting relatives, and Ron is having trouble getting through his mountain of periodicals.
Why did the annoying pun maker prefer his eggs benedict served in a hubcap? 'Cause there's no place like chrome for the hollondaise!
Johnboy is off to Colorado, the land of many fun things to do, Joyce is in Wisconsin visiting relatives, and Ron is having trouble getting through his mountain of periodicals.
Why did the annoying pun maker prefer his eggs benedict served in a hubcap? 'Cause there's no place like chrome for the hollondaise!
Wednesday
"In recent days, Bill Cosby has been called everything from a racist to a race traitor for the disparaging comments he made recently about low-income African-Americans..."
story
story
I've been wondering... what is cornhole?
I gave up on the label. Nobody got it. So I decided to make a sign and put it on the coke machines that says
Honky Tonky sez: Don't mess around with God's America!The pictures I used for it were great. Here's a GIS I used one of the images from. Guess which.
Today I'm wearing a label on my shirt that says, "Abu Ghraib, love it or leave it!"
So far the reception has been mainly "what's abu ghraib?", but I'm hoping for better.
So far the reception has been mainly "what's abu ghraib?", but I'm hoping for better.
LOTR III is almost over. If I feel I've been on an epic journey it's because I have, temporally epic. This trilogy has got to come in at ten hours put together.
I could have done without the many deus ex machinas, the ghost people, the eagles (nice iconography there, no one noticed it!), and that's ignoring the first two movies.
But you only get to pick a few words, or a couple, so I'll say it was "good" and leave it at that.
I could have done without the many deus ex machinas, the ghost people, the eagles (nice iconography there, no one noticed it!), and that's ignoring the first two movies.
But you only get to pick a few words, or a couple, so I'll say it was "good" and leave it at that.
Tuesday
bowling green sewing machine
retina barbecue
- learn something
- popurls
- 0tv.com
- betty butterfield
- new betty
- concrete tv
- dale's mails
- exile
- fairlane
- fishki
- games section
- get your war on
- jim goad
- jonestown
- kfai
- landover baptist church
- listen to a movie
- mack white
- mcsweeney's
- memepool
- memeorandum
- memory hole
- memphilter
- metafilter
- mimi smartypants
- newsmap
- pamela gay, astronomer
- planet krulik
- pleix
- pretty pictures videos
- something awful
- spoonbender
- sutton impact studio
- technorati top 100
- tinypic
- today's front pages
- upenn online library
- watch links
- wolcott
- wood s lot
- wulad
- air america
- sleepbot
- kcrw simulcast
- ween
- the current
- wfmu
- watchmaker podcast
- boot liquor
eustachian justice league
many moons
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