Double Flee A: January 2006

Holy cow. It's a porn plugin for firefox.

firefusk: put another record on the pornograph

Items You May Want to Stock Up On, Now That Alito Has Been Confirmed:
Wrapped Up Like A Douche

wow.

Utah Town Has Question About President: 'What's Not to Like?'

play!

The State of the Union Drinking Game!

The finest tradition borne of this horrible presidency.

It appears some Muslims, protesting a political cartoon portraying the prophet Mohammed wearing a bomb for a turban, are threatening to basically blow up Denmark as a religious protest. To, you know, prove cartoonists wrong about Islamic militancy.

'This is not just about cartoons, but standing up for our values' - World - Times Online

BBC polls the world, "What do you think of the USA?":
BBC NEWS

Get it? His nose is growing, like Pinocchio's, because evolution is a big fat lie, and the teacher is made of wood and dreams of someday being a real little boy teacher.

Creation Science Cartoons and Humor

They're all this funny. If you're going to click here, get ready to laugh, buddy.

"Dude, where's my party?" A truism from Ward. village voice > news > by Ward Sutton

Exxon profit tops $10 billion, capping record year

Chewbacca's blog:
UUUHHHGGG-rrrrRRR!

movie review

"Bubble" by Steven Soderbergh sucks. At least it's only a little over an hour long. It's the story of some people who live in tiny houses and have shitty jobs, and it's shot all artsy-like. That would be good if the artsy-shooting was good, but this was pretty bad. The only truly enjoyable part of the movie was that this one chick steals a watch from these people whose house she cleans, and I got to look at it almost long enough to tell what it was. The fluted bezel made me think Rolex, but then I thought I saw "...OT" on it later, which would probably make it a Tissot. I haven't been able to tell from a cursory web check and I probably will never know. My curiosity this time will be a casualty in my battle to put "Bubble" behind me, where it should be, unless you mean in the context of a prison shower, in which case I don't want it or anything else behind me, you perverts.

Anyone seen this?
Bubble

yummy dog meat

Yahoo: A dog destined for the dinner table is being thrown into a cage at the Xin Yuan animal market in Guangzhhou, China.

Here's what the bumper sticker's going to look like:

yikes

Plan59 > Gallery of Demonic Tots and Deeply Disturbing Cuisine

The Australian: Speaking in tongues [January 28, 2006]: J.M. Coetzee identifies some of the practical difficulties involved in the craft of translation

If you have nothing else to do, check out the guest book at Australia's Thunder From Down Under, Las Vegas Male Revue, for craptastic comments from women who have been to see the show.

Spies, Lies and Wiretaps - New York Times

good idea

An email I received from a female reader:

I have come to the conclusion that what this town needs is an army of hoochies. They need to go around skimpily dressed and looking for attention. That way
all the ugly and old men can follow them around and I can finally get on a bus or go to mcdonalds and not be harassed.

Maybe I could pay a stripper to follow me around and any time a nasty guy starts giving me looks I could signal her to flash him thereby redirecting his attention and allowing me to escape.

Send in the Hoochies!

As much as I like the idea of an army of hoochies sashaying in a loose formation around the city (the imagination runs wild), I have to say you chose a strangely self-incriminating destination; McDonald's in particular is my number one pick for being the last refuge of barely-un-homeless old men. They used to congregate in diners at what describes better than any other measure the edges of society, before Mickey D's and their kind with their happy clowns and shit squeezed those mom and pop greasy spoons out of existence. (Those obscurities were like living museums; some of the last actual gritty urban places.) Which is too bad, because seeing those poor old guys huddled for warmth in the plastic, brightly-colored happy-land is like a floodlight, illuminating the sharp divide between those with and without hope. For us it's a cheap caffeine pop, and for them it's a way to get indoors somewhere other than their filthy tenements. These men don't have cars, either, so they take the bus, your other area of complaint. If I were you I'd get a car or start liking it. Either way, your troubles are over!

If you like "cops", you'll like the videos at:
BaitCar.com

print: Truthdig - President Jonah

Today's shocker: "The top climate scientist at NASA says the Bush administration has tried to stop him from speaking out since he gave a lecture last month calling for prompt reductions in emissions of greenhouse gases linked to global warming.":
Climate Expert Says NASA Tried to Silence Him - New York Times

Ask a Republican, with video!

print: Passive-aggressive behavior - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

In an effort to scandalize a friend, I had some bumper stickers made that say "I'd rather be reading a book by Neal Karlen". If you want one let me know.

Here's Neal. His books are great, and they make great gifts!

print

eXile - Issue #230 - Feature Story - Freaky Bribenomics - By Jake Rudnitsky

eXile - Issue #230 - War Nerd - 2006 War Preview - By Gary Brecher

GraffitiProject.com – Bathroom Graffiti Photos

A video!

Measures how a society ranks on a spectrum stretching from democracy to despotism. Explains how societies and nations can be measured by the degree that power is concentrated and respect for the individual is restricted. Where does your community, state and nation stand on these scales?
Internet Archive: Search Engine

print

RAND | RAND Pardee Center | Futures Links | 50 Books for Thinking About the Future Human Condition

I guess it's sad but ok if anyone needs bible verses to know that torture is wrong, but if that's what it takes, then by all means, read this:
5 Reasons Torture is always Wrong - Christianity Today Magazine

Creepy flash movie:
Spoilsbury Toast Boy -2 :: By David Firth

my oh my

But the military does keep itself busy.

BBC NEWS | Americas | US plans to 'fight the net' revealed

misc.

Last night the lovely bride and I took advantage of our proximity to Joe's crab shack, which, even if it is a globocorporate satan, offers good food at affordable prices. I don't think it's as evil as Applebee's or that ilk, but there are quite a few locations... She had this, I had that, it was good, and we left stuffed. The bananas foster is enormous. I decided I have to get a good recipe for red beans and rice. There's no reason you ought to be paying over three fifty for a meal of it anywhere. It's red beans and rice, people. The sausage alone should cost actual dollars. You could almost trade the other ingredients for buttons you found on the sidewalk.

On my way to work today after the test (they were called quizzes, now they've become tests), which I expect I did well on (just like the other ones, which I didn't do well on, which was persnickety bullshit), I was passed by a grey pontiac grand something that was driven by someone who I assume is accustomed to looking at the middle fingers of many a driver. He/she was all over the road, taking dangerous lines between cars and trucks, and it occurred to me the old pontiac slogan about "we are driving excitement", must have really sunk in. Fully a half of the Pontiac drivers I see on the road drive conspicuously poorly. It's not a sports car, jackasses.

Work has been going well. It turns out the midazolam I discovered was missing, wasn't. Which is good, because when something isn't where it's supposed to be, it always winds up with my little signature attached. I do know how to get around that, by the way, but I don't want my blog to be the favorite destination of health care workers who want to steal drugs out of the pyxis, so I'm going to leave it at that, except to say that if I ever get in trouble for stealing drugs I didn't steal, I plan to us that knowledge just to show the management I pretty much have a sticker of Calvin peeing on their beloved drug security. I don't think it will ever come to that. This place isn't rife with enough of those kinds of problems to make overreacting a symptomatic, commonplace event. You're innocent till proven guilty around here. I think sometimes about what watchmakers will be like, what my next career will be like socially. Because this place is the best fit for me I've ever had. There's no room for personality problems in critical healthcare; we all have to be ready to swing into action without moping or thundering or anything. A kind of cheery preparedness prevails here. Watchmaking, I'm afraid, might give people a great chance to retreat deep into themselves that will lead to somewhat more strained social arrangements.

Tonight the illustrious Mr. Newman and I will be trying out a Tibetan place in uptown. I want the yak balls.

print

the peekaboo paradox: how to get people to laugh. Hank, you should look at this, too. It's related to your paper.

Hamas Election Victory Shocks World - Yahoo! News

Don't be so surprised, everybody. They've got right wingers there, too. Check in on Iran lately? Heard of "the middle east" before?

print

Warriors and wusses - Los Angeles Times

Isn't it kind of weird how Parkinson's made Michael J. Fox even more Michael J. Fox-like?

The 2006 George W. Bush Dead Kitten Survey

hmm

visualcomplexity.com | A visual exploration on mapping complex networks

Republican Talking Point Clarifications:
village voice > news > by Ward Sutton

Why is this, really? And if you say god, I ban you forever.

Blacks Are More Likely to Get Lung Cancer - Yahoo! News

The world becomes full of organisms that have what it takes to become ancestors. That, in a sentence, is Darwinism.

-Richard Dawkins

print

The Terrorist in the Mirror

I can only infer from the following that eastern Europe really fucking sucks. Warning, photos of gross people having sex, not safe for work, not safe for libido.

OpenDirViewer.com

oh dear

I could have lived my whole life not seeing this picture of John Travolta. Click to enlarge for full effect.

The Terrifying World of the Average Conservative, bigger original at village voice > news > by Tom Tomorrow

our crazy world

"The rapture" is made up. But you can still play a board game about it! Left Behind Games Store: "Imagine having friends and loved ones all around you suddenly disappear in the blink of an eye. Paralyzed with fear in a state of mass confusion, you struggle desparately [sic] to make sense of what's just happened. Then you realize...you've been Left Behind! This exciting board game has two parts..."

Rick Santorum compares putting a Santorum bumper sticker on your car to serving your country in Iraq or Afghanistan: video

beliefnet: Alister McGrath on Atheism, Christianity, Religion and Science: "Spiritually, God is the oxygen of my existence; I would find it very difficult to thrive without a belief in God."

That reminds me of a radio segment I heard over the weekend about a family who came right out and said that the senseless death of their favorite son in Iraq would have been unbearable without their faith in god. If you come right out and say that you're tricking yourself and passing your denial off as normal, which I find strange. Another reason mankind won't shrug off the mantle of ancient superstition any time soon is that the alternative, reality, doesn't hold the believer in the creamy center. Reality feels a little chilly because it doesn't care. And just maybe senseless deaths in the desert are supposed to leave people feeling a little shaken and pissed off and like something tragic and irreversible has happened.

Neuroscience Reveals A Shocker: Partisan Thought Is Unconscious - New York Times

Sweet! Free Online Graph Paper / Grid Paper PDFs

Leaving the link in its original, entertaining state, here's a soldier of fortune (nerdy white suburban guy with a desire to live an adventurous mercenary life magazine) type page showing how to be such a total badass you can inflict huge damage on your opponent, who is ostensibly a sheaf of papers, using only a paperclip. Fight Fast - Self Defense - Personal Protection - Martial Arts - Street Fighting - Spec Ops - Delta Force - SEAL Team - SWAT Cops

As Elections Near, Officials Challenge Balloting Security: "Sancho and seven other people held a referendum. The question on the ballot:

"Can the votes of this Diebold system be hacked using the memory card?"

Two people marked yes on their ballots, and six no. The optical scan machine read the ballots, and the data were transmitted to a final tabulator. The result? Seven yes, one no."

fyi: The fifty most loathsome people thing from yesterday was funny, if you want to print it. It's about twenty pages in ten point TNR, font of the gods.

Red scorpion, a film by Jack Abramoff.
Here's the .mov.

: Alberto Gonzales spoke before law students at Georgetown today, justifying illegal, unauthorized surveilance of US citizens, but during the course of his speech the students in class did something pretty ballsy and brave. They got up from their seats and turned their backs to him.:
insomnia: Future American lawyers to be proud of.

Here's this really cool java thing from NASA that shows you where all the satellites are in real time. Right click to spin the whole shebang around, and left click to see the orbit. There are hundreds of 'em.

The links, they plague me. I'd like to do a blog like other people where I don't have to throw every link I see up here, but it seems I can't help myself. Is there a twelve step program for compulsive publishing of random crap?

damn internet

Protecting Your Search Privacy: A Flowchart To Tracks You Leave Behind:
how your search privacy data gets exposed all the way from your desktop to the sites you visit.

A thousand people who were Caught by Mom Masturbating: confessions

I would like to meet an honest, outgoing, spontaneous, open-minded, adventurous, girl with Christian values. Someone who is romantic and a good communicator. If you’d like someone to take your coat, open doors, flowers, poetry then you’ve found me. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

hometown news

It's probably hard to appreciate how hilariously out of touch this if you're not from Crossville: Crossville Chronicle: "Diversity Day Celebration at St. Alphonsus Church brings record community turnout

He had a dream... which lives on in Cumberland County."

The BEAST: America's Best FIend:The 50 Most Loathsome People in America, 2005

Missionary Dating for Hot Women and Hot Guys - Date to Save: "Calling all Hot Women of the LORD!!!"

boldface mine

WESH.com - News - 'Lolita' Could Be Pulled From Library's Shelves: ""I believe that you, at least hypothetically, could read this book and consider it obscene," said Terry Blaes, of Dunnellon."

Last week in watch school we dealt with guard pin and horn clearance in a ETA 6497 and in a little zodiac calendar. The people who hadn't yet smashed their hairspring studs did so on removal, so now we need about two dozen balance completes, which are on order. My only spare is the one I vibrated myself, and that one ain't going anywhere but my wrist. I learned that the frictional coefficient of rubber cement makes it perfect for checking fork clearances on the end of a narrow, broken (oops, but I have a backup) cutting broche. It sticks to the metal enough to move it without slipping off.

Friday I gave a presentation which came off relatively unpolished when I got sidetracked and left the methodical approach I had originally designed. I did hit my main point, though, which my instructor followed up on later, which was about the perception of the tourbillon compared with its technical advantages and disadvantages.

The highlight of my week happened the last ten minutes on Friday before I left for work, which was when I fixed a watch for a woman I work with. It's an old mickey mouse watch with a six o'clock second hand and hasn't run for ten years. I took it apart, took the wheels out, cleaned them up a bit, and then tried to put it back together. Nope. It's a French Ebauche, a notorious movement, not made to put back together. The rotor is steel and because of the watch's mechanism, is in a powerful magnetic field that makes it go anywhere but where it's supposed to. So I filed two access points into the bridge either side of the rotor, then slowly located the pivots of the gear train, screwed down the bottom part enough to flex the metal, then located the rotor through the holes I'd filed. For some reason when I turned the watch on it worked. I was thrilled. The lady I did it for was happy too, she was wearing it when I saw her yesterday, even though the bracelet isn't secure and the tail goes flying around. I wanted to get her a rubber band or something, but that's her problem.

Friday we had a quiz about clearance and draw, and recoil and functions of the escapement (which doesn't technically include the balance wheel). I'll be interested to see how I did.

I love amarok for ubuntu. It has a dynamic playlist function that gets to know what you like listening to. I bet the itunes people have had this for years.

link slingin'

How cute. People are still just learning the banana trick.
Boing Boing: Peeling bananas from the other end is easier

How to Be a Curmudgeon on the Internet - New York Times

print: In this paper I question the “official” story that the collapses of the high-rise World Trade Center buildings on 9-11-01 were

But wait, is it patriotic to preserve what remains of your privacy? Boing Boing: HOWTO anonymize your search history

Penn Jillette's podcast

Stardust Webcam

Best business card

In response to Roe vs. Wade, a couple different comics came out:
1973 "WHO KILLED JUNIOR" Comic Book

1973 "ABORTION EVE" Comic Book

If Abram helped jack you off, would you help Jack Abramoff?
/via mefi

Daily Kos: 'National Sanctity of Human Life Day' (w/photos + PDF)

Cheney autopsy reveals evil robot

I was going through my pockets this morning on my way out of the house, checking to make sure I still had the fentanyl transdermal patches I accidentally brought home with me, when I had a thought. I'm having another one right now that requires a little digression, but bear with me.

By the way, this will have nothing to do with Dick Cheney.

Penetrating thought normally accompanies the morning pocket check. At the time you go through your pockets, you have to project forward into your day and try to foresee the things you will want to have so as not to forget them in tupperware in the fridge, or in a cigar box in your workbench, or in a folder on your desk. Normally if I have forgotten something I won't remember till it's a little too late, and I have to turn the car around. If I'm lucky the item A) is not too important to replace with some maneuvering or B) I haven't gotten on the highway yet. (It's a huge pain to turn around once I hit the highway.)

The thought I had in that slow-time of forward projection was this:
If I wind up with some terrible incurable illness that is going to hurt like nothing else, and it's just a matter of time till I croak, who the hell is going to deny me a lethal overdose of drugs? Everybody, that's who, which is to say no one in particular. No one is culpable for the state of affairs that denies people a way to die other than excruciating pain, yet in a way we all are. I also think the last thing you ever do before you die ought to be fun, and what if the drug you wind up taking too much of to die could have been better? It's not like you get a second chance. There are lots of different drugs you can overdose on, so how are you ever going to know which one you'd prefer if you haven't tried a few? "But then people would get addicted to drugs, Dale!" So what? What's the obsession with keeping people safe from themselves? We let them drive around in cars and smoke and drink, right? Spare me the puritanism.

If I'm terminally ill and don't get the deadly prescription that's going to totally remove my sense of place and self, that will painlessly shoo me out of life like a raindrop hitting the ocean, you're going to hear about me on the news, 'cause dudes, I ain't goin' out like that.

If he becomes terminally ill, Dale is going to grab some big steel weapons and fuck some serious shit up and die by his own hand anyway. Which way would you rather have it?

So then I put everything in my pockets and came to work, where when I explained to him that I had accidentally forgotten the drugs in my pocket, the narc guy was like "No harm, no foul."

++Disclaimer:
Dear authorities, I in no way intend to disparage the legitimacy of your rule over my reality, which is total. I also do not link together --or intend that any link be made between-- a crazy killing rampage and Dick Cheney, whether or not he turns out to be an evil robot. Thanks and have a nice day.++

from the reader

Autopsy: Life and Death from Channel4.com, con video, amigos muertes!

How nutritious are different foods? Find out at Nutrient Data : Home

and print: Are brain parasites altering the personalities of three billion people?

I know what's on your mind, "What's new at the presidential prayer team website?"

Since you were just about to go check, I'll save you a click. This is real, by the way.

"PRESIDENTIAL PRAYER REQUESTS FOR JANUARY 19, 2006

Pray for President Bush and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice as they work with the international community, exercising diplomatic influence to prevent Iran from developing nuclear weapons. Pray for the members of the UN Security Council as they are now being drawn into the communication process with Iran asking God’s intervention in this potentially volatile situation.

Pray for President Bush as he welcomes to the White House Pakistani Prime Minister Shaukat Aziz on January 24. The two leaders will discuss earthquake reconstruction, bilateral trade and the war on terror.

Pray for the President as he works with his staff to prepare the State of the Union Address, scheduled for Tuesday, January 31. Pray that God will lead him to the initiatives that are in accord with His will.

Pray for God’s continued healing touch for former President Gerald Ford, hospitalized last weekend with pneumonia. He is receiving antibiotics and is responding well to treatment. As his pastor has said how deeply President Ford covets our prayers, continue to pray for his and former First Lady Betty Ford's health and vigor.

Pray for the members of the Senate as they returned to session on Wednesday and for the members of the House as they return on January 31, asking God to guide every elected representative as they serve their constituents. Pray for the members of the Senate Judiciary Committee as they vote on Tuesday, January 24 on the nomination of Judge Samuel Alito to the U.S. Supreme Court.

Pray for Secretary of Health and Human Services Secretary Mike Leavitt and his team as they seek to solve problems with the new Medicare plans, asking that the system will be repaired and that all who need medications will get them in a timely manner. Pray also for the HHS team as they prepare for and seek to prevent an outbreak of bird flu.

Pray for Homeland Security Secretary Chertoff as he works with Secretary of State Rice to strengthen and streamline border security while allowing greater freedom for students seeking to study in the U.S., asking God to guide this process, that international students will be able to study in our country while still keeping our nation safe from potential terrorists. Pray for God’s leading and wisdom regarding the security of America’s borders with neighbors Mexico and Canada.

As the White House has expressed disappointment with the Supreme Court decision upholding Oregon’s assisted suicide law, pray for the strengthening of a culture of life in our country.

Pray for our troops as they work tirelessly for freedom around the world, serving our country and the great cause of democracy on many fronts. Pray for the continued success of the defense and security forces in Iraq, so that Americans can continue to withdraw."

If you made it all the way through that, you glutton for punishment, check out
the presidential prayer team for kids! (And don't forget to send Dick Cheney a special birthday greeting! I sure did!)

Last night I was flippin' through the old radio channels, and I heard a song called "some beach", which relies on the comedic premise that "some beach" is redneck (workin' man language) for son of a bitch. Here are the lyrics, which I include because they are a perfect demonstration of contemporary country boy cultural bias. Boldface and italics mine.

Driving down the interstate
Running thirty minutes late
Singing Margaritaville and minding my own
Some foreign car drivin' dude with the road rage attitude
Pulled up beside me talking on his cell phone
He started yelling at me like I did something wrong
He flipped me the bird an' then he was gone

Some beach
Somewhere
There's a big umbrella casting shade over a empty chair
Palm trees are a-growing and a warm breezes a blowing
I picture myself sitting there
On Some beach, somewhere

I circled the parking lot trying to find a spot
Just big enough I could park my old truck
A man with a big cigar was getting into his car
I stopped and I waited for him to back up
From out of no where a Mercedes Benz
Came cruising up and whipped right in

Some beach
Somewhere
There's no where to go when you got all day to get there
There's cold margaritas and hot Senoritas smiling with long dark hair
On some beach
Somewhere

I sit in that waiting room
It seemed like all afternoon
The nurse finally said doc's ready for you
you're not going to feel a thing we'll give you some novocaine
That tooth will be fine in a minute or two
But he stuck that needle down deep in my gum
And he started drilling before I was numb

Some beach
Somewhere
There's a beautiful sunset burning up theatsmosphere
There's music and dancing and lovers romancing
In the soft evening air
On some beach
Somewhere
On some beach, somewhere

Yeah, so italics are "US GOOD", and the boldface is "THEM BAD". This song is about the common man's perceptions of liberals and conservatives. Republicans have to think they get crapped on by city slickers and the educated, otherwise they can't be the lion-hearted underdog struggling against the evil liberal oppressors. Hilarious and transparent, at least to anyone who actually applies a tenth of their noggin on a semi-regular basis. So not transparent then; a better word is intertranspicuous, because the intended audience of this song, the people who like it because it reminds them of themselves, won't be able to divine its broader meaning, only its intended meaning. The literal message of foreign cars will come across loud and clear (yee haw, U.S.A.), but the fact that the singer exhibits a strong preference for tolerance and patience as a way of dealing with life's setbacks will not. Aren't those -gasp- liberal values?

Today's first non-surprise, other than that Bush wants us to shit our pants every time Osama bin Laden releases another album (who's the big pussy on that one, red America?) is that I had to correct the spelling of novocaine and cruising. The public education system that fails people so miserably does nothing to inhibit their love of country music.

from the reader

Ferrofluid art:
作品集(Works)

A fill-in-the-blanks MENSA INTELLIGENCE TEST, so you can see if you're smart enough! It's at least a little interesting, anyway.

Political debates of tomorrow, by Ward Sutton

The world is running out of oil, as usual

NPR : Bush Administration Seeks Google Search Records

A depressing Kafka-esque flash game - Kafkamesto

Polled teens feel "Science 'not for normal people'" - BBC But that's England for you. I'm sure American teens have far more respect for science than that, right?

If you stick ginger in somebody's butthole it's apparently called figging. Here's a page about that.

Art, taken from sketchbooks of different people, one each day. Here's the page with all of them thumbnailed: TOM JUDD'S EVERYDAY

An online help for parents looking for that distinctive
name that says "I'm a Utah Mormon!":
The Utah Baby Namer

lunch break

Anyone familiar with Saint Paul knows that the pretty girls all moved to Minneapolis. This goes double for my school, a technical college whose students look the part of semi-ambitious quasi-achievers. If they were the little engine that could, they might. Maybe. At least nearly everyone takes showers before coming to school.

The girls who are attractive at this educational South Pittsburgh are only so from certain angles, and on glancing at one, you'd better look away before the reality sets in. Detached as I am from the experience of looking at hot girls out of impossibility, I can see the girl check-out third-hand; the act becomes possible to remove oneself from very easily. I was just glancing around the library and saw a girl from over her shoulder that might have been cute, and then a big fat girl with horrible skin sat between us, hitting her chair heavily, respiring with a noisy, wheezing gurgle. It made me remember back when I used to see pretty girls, because for a change, it wasn't my decision not to look at that might-be pretty girl due to the inevitable disappointment. Being visually cut off by a defeated mound of asexual flesh was like what USED to happen. It was almost refreshing, in a less-than kind of way, but still a standout experience here at Saint Paul College, where the welders weld, where the hairdressers dress, where the watchmakers make watches, and where the hotties, well, we're waiting.

greeeat

Boing Boing: Nutjob offers $100 bounty to UCLA students who wiretap lefty profs

Because the world is too left wing-y.

School is different this year. I leave class exhausted. There's lecture pretty much from the time we get there till we leave. Then homework and quizzes, and we have to give presentations. So I've been fairly run down of late, adjusting to "the new way."

Today we will re-do the quiz we had last week that we (That is, eleven of twelve of us. I ask you, who failed that one?) didn't complete to der instruktor's satisfaction, then do a quiz about horn and guard pin clearance, complete with needless persnickety terminology quibbling and trick questions that would make the most treacherous stepmother shiver. Based on my experience with the Swiss, I see there's a reason the Nazis sidestepped their homeland: the swiss are cruel and enigmatic; an evil surprise lurks at every dark and twisting turn in their bent and mangled psyches. No more lolling off to the happy school for Dale. I now have serious business at all hours.

The upside for you: I'm now offering repair work at cut rates! To take my mind off the seriousness of it all, I need something to keep me otherwise occupied. Give me watches, people. Go on, hand 'em over.

First off, sorry I forgot about the twelve beers of Christmas. There was a lot that could have been done with that.

Moving on, however, tonight I'm getting cozy with a bottle of Samuel Smith's Taddy Porter. It looks like this:

If I could show you what it tastes like, I'd win not only a prize for extreme cleverness, but an award for the high quality of my composition in balance, depth, and consideration for good taste, which I would then happily trade in for another one of these beers.

It's dark but dry, has flavor and a nice vanishing point. Not too alcohol-y, slight in carbonation. Yo frightfully ho.

Cool: The Man Who Said No to Wal-Mart

PSA

Please try to avoid accidentally playing "love shack" by the B-52s and anything off Amnesiac by Radiohead at the same time. This goes double for 'hunting bears". It causes profound aural discomfort.

The less tainted video is hilarious.

Crooks and Liars

This is real; I checked.

Look who respects intellectual property: The mpaa, of course

we need one of these!

Boing Boing: Cute Chinese Internet cop warns users that they are under total and constant surveillance

May I suggest:

person of the year

Joe Smith

google under pressure from Bush administration's domestic spies

MercuryNews.com | 01/18/2006 | Feds want Google search records

more about this: Good Morning Silicon Valley: What if we promise not to show the records to Karl Rove?

Who Runs America?, Noam Chomsky interviewed by Adrian Zupp

The Chronicle: 1/20/2006: Are Conservative Republicans Now America's Permanent Ruling Class?

The Franklin Coverup Scandal The Child sex ring that reached Bush/Reagan Whitehouse

YouTube - Chuck Norris on the Tony Danza Show

Wired News: Anonymity on a Disc

U.S.A.loves Iraq!

..sutton

bruce up, chuck down

This isn't really about the woman as much all as the different ways of photographing one.

Made by many different photographers, this is Ivy Red's Online Portfolio. may be nsfw

I like white rabbit studios' version.

I post a lot of things here that you can easily find other places, which I justify because this blog functioned as my del.icio.us account when del.icio.us wasn't around yet. This is one of those. Defective yeti has composed a text adventure, Zork-style. You are the president.

defective yeti: Xyzzy

everyone isn't retarded!

Supreme Court Upholds Oregon Suicide Law

the opinions at washingtonpost.com

New Orleans Mayor Says God Mad at U.S.:

Mayor Ray Nagin suggested Monday that Hurricanes Katrina and Rita and other storms were a sign that "God is mad at America" and at black communities, too, for tearing themselves apart with violence and political infighting.

I see a pattern forming.

"God hates fags." Fred Phelps.
God was responsible for the tsunami. Delay, in effect.
"We have imagined ourselves invulnerable and have been consumed by the pursuit of ... health, wealth, material pleasures and sexuality... It [terrorism] is happening because God Almighty is lifting his protection from us." Pat Robertson.
"I put all the blame legally and morally on the actions of the terrorist, [but America's] secular and anti-Christian environment left us open to our Lord's [decision] not to protect. When a nation deserts God and expels God from the culture ... the result is not good." Jerry Fucking Falwell, Sept 14, 2001.

angelina jolie = not hot

Some see this.

I see this.

My page has been getting (relatively speaking) piss-pounded with people looking for my brother's band (which is real) called Necrosatanica, so I'm going to simplify for the searchers: Here's his entry about it, and
here's the band's website.

Ohio Churches Face Probe Over Politics - Yahoo! News

This was my idea in November, yo.

I concur

2006 Q Magazine Readers' 100 Greatest Albums Ever

#1 is... OK Computer, Radiohead
[pats self on back]

excellent

Anyone who's ever worked in a building with lots of elevators has had to wonder, at least a little, how it is that elevators haven't been set up with a logic chip or something to make them work less dumbly. Now someone's actually done something about that.

Fujitec eases bottlenecks

Meet Caspian James Crichton-Stuart IV, the Fifth Duke of Cleveland. Or so he claimed. After he tried to enroll in their high school, students who know how to use the internet got motivated and debunked his ridiculous story and he got thrown in jail. Which proves that nothing is as obnoxious as a bad fake British accent.

St. Paul Pioneer Press | 01/13/2006 | Claim of royalty, a con revealed

If Gore had delivered this speech in 2000, the margin of his victory would have been even wider:

The Raw Story | In Martin Luther King Day address, Gore compares wiretapping of Americans to surveillance of King

tv gone

TV in the bedroom halves your sex life - study

awesome

This rocks me right out of my jock strap. Richard Dawkins has a show on BBC 4. Now if I could just figure out how to listen to it.

Channel 4 - Can you believe it? - The Real Exorcists

this tattoo rules!

Lewis Lapham wrote a piece this month about how documentary makers outnumber documentary buyers by a lot, and it made me think what we need is at least one documentary channel, to fix that problem. I would watch it and I know plenty of other people who would, too. Documentary film is the most value-dense form of video that I know of, sort of an inversion of MTV.

Take crossover hit "American movie", a classic by any standard, or short films like "Foo foo dust", one of the most disturbing films ever. The fact that it's real amplifies its content in a way that Oprah and James Frey can attest translates well at the cash register. Too bad that "million little pieces" thing didn't work out; scandal sells even better than Oprah's endorsement:

WILD EXAGGERATIONS FORCE PUBLISHER TO RETITLE JAMES FREY’S BOOK “TEN LITTLE PIECES”

Oprah downplays controversy, announces new book: “How I’ve Always Been Thin”

Working in a coffeeshop I dealt with more than a few disgruntled artists who blamed the marketplace for their financially discouraging situations. It's my tendency to want to blame them for their art (which more often than not sucks) being the problem instead of the invisible hand of commerce, but it's not that simple.

As in the movie Bad Santa, wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up first. Wishing, blaming, and documentary filmmaking being a little too similar by Lapham's account, if something must be done to squelch the choir of disappointment and frustration, why not make an effort to change the marketplace to a more favorable condition?

I am pretty hung over today.

get it

Image Zoom

test it later here

Capturing Time: Watch Photo Collections

Every once in a while I see a really cool website.
Here's one, leoburnett.ca

let it drip

BBC NEWS | Health | Vaginal washing 'raises HIV risk':
Sex workers who perform internal vaginal washing are three times more likely to get HIV than those who do not, a 10-year study in Kenya suggests.

real or fake?

blonde
nsfw

Henry Rollins has a blog.
HENRY ROLLINS.COM

An open letter to the lead singer of Chicago

Dear sir,

Many years ago I was hung over and slept through my alarm. In my haste to make up for lost time, I forgot my watch on my way out of the house. Late for a meeting with a very important client, I was moving at a brisk pace when I saw a man on the street, and asked him what the time was that was on his watch. He looked at me dumbfounded, then launched into an existential meltdown I can only describe as total. I am relatively certain, sir, that that man was you.

It may be that your band’s music has subsequently colored my memory of your insane ramblings, but I think I remember you shouting “Who cares about time? What, do you have time to, uh, die? Man?” which caused me great fear that you might turn out to be homicidal, in addition to being very strung out on highly dangerous drugs.

I wonder, sir, have you resolved your philosophical dilemmas? Did your time in the limelight of fame and riches prove to be adequately rewarding to, if not quench and extinguish, at least mollify your tortured introspection? Or have you found the path to inner peace? Are you a Jesus guy now?

If possible, please respond in the form of a smooth new hit song!

Thanks,
Dale Shipley

note to self

Look up and listen to music by this guy

pharmacy survey!

A survey of which of the choices pharmacy employees love more is currently in a three way tie, with

God: 1

U.S.A.: 1

Wal-mart: 1

---- UPDATE ----

God wins, two to one to one.

print

2005 witnessed the long-overdue hollowing out of the Iraqi invasion’s credibility; a new American obsession with the economic might of China; and the astonishing success – unlikely to be halted even by the landmark federal judgment in the Dover case in late December – of creationist fideism masquerading as theory in “intelligent design”. 2006 will surely continue in the same vein, with more car bombs, Asian productivity scare stories and assaults on professors who dare to mock religious “science”.

On the last, let us apply the logic of Hume’s Razor. First: what we call the appearance of design may be a judgment of our own devices. Second: why should the appearance of design offer evidence of a singular designer rather than, say, self-organisation? Third: even if there is a singular designer, why is it a supernatural entity rather than, say, space aliens? Fourth: even if it is a supernatural entity, why is it the God of the Christian scriptures rather than, say, the Greek pantheon? (The philosopher Daniel Dennett offers a simpler version: intelligent design cannot be a scientific theory because nothing changes either way if it is true or if it is false.)

So much for that – though Hume probably won’t play in Kansas. (...)

What does 2006 have in store? (part one)
What does 2006 have in store? (part two)

Bush Advisor Says President Has Legal Power to Torture Children

HubbleSite - Large Image Warning - Hubble's Sharpest View of the Orion Nebula - 1/11/2006

The image isn't on this page, it links to it. There are plenty of smaller copies, but there is one that's 387 mb. How do you even display that? I guess you just zoom in to it and move around in it.

print

Comparison USA-Germany

t r u t h o u t - Jason Leopold | Bush Authorized Domestic Spying Before 9/11

today in history

2002 - US President George W. Bush sets off a pretzel buying frenzy when he faints, allegedly after choking on one.

oh boy

My name is Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey, Ph.D., L.D.D.D. I am a Satanic Dark Priest, Sanguinarian Vampyre and a Hecate Witch. My Magikal Path name is: Lord Ares.

I despise and hate the Christian God the Father. He is my enemy.

This man is running for the governorship of Minnesota.

During my time as Governor, drug dealers and users will live in fear. I will introduce extremely harsh punishment for those who not only use illegal drugs, I will fight to make dealers serve life in prison, or better yet, Impalement.

Why do we always get the crazies?

Former President Clinton announced Thursday that his foundation has negotiated agreements to lower the prices of rapid HIV tests and anti-AIDS drugs in the developing world, potentially saving "hundreds of thousands of lives."

[insert right wing dick joke here]

Clinton Strikes Deal for AIDS Drugs - Yahoo! News

Researcher: Early Man Was Hunted by Birds - Yahoo! News

Blind Watchmaker Applet

print

Jon D. Hanson and Adam Benforado: The Drifters: Why the Supreme Court makes justices more liberal

I love when Wolcott throws the wreck on the right-wing ruffians of the blogosphere:

James Wolcott: Noxious Fumes

Whiplash the Cowboy Monkey rides his border collie Ben during a demonstration of the creature's skills between quarters of the Phoenix Suns and Denver Nuggets NBA basketball game in Denver on Tuesday, Jan. 10, 2006.

Too funny:
Something Awful:Dear Neil and Eric Bauman,...

made at Bellygraph

Now if I could just find a way to automate that.

man alive

If for some reason you think clicking through galleries of pretty girls with great bodies is time well spent, I'm not one to tell you you're wrong. In order to make that time count as much as possible, consider this site, where pretty girls with great bodies abound:

Alta Pendeja NSFW, yet not naked. In fact, this is just unsafe in its intention. You're going to be able to talk your way out of it if you get caught looking at this.

I guarantee as you read this, one of these girls is being whistled at by latin guys.

Because otherwise I'd need a whole new email address to accommodate your gratitude, I'll just tell you you're welcome.

Maybe this will be good:
KYOURadio - Open Source Radio

oh brother

Alito's Wife Leaves Hearing Room in Tears

Wolcott discusses: James Wolcott: The Crying Game

war on whatever

President Bush talks about the U.S. military involvement in Iraq at the Kentucky International Convention Center in Louisville, Kentucky January 11, 2006.

War sure isn't what it used to be.

actual headline

One-Eyed Cat Had Medical Condition

reading

Once upon a time I worked for a company called Pyxis. They're a division of Cardinal health, a corporate, health mega-borg. Pyxis is the company that makes the kind of automated medication dispensers that are the most popular, which has been good for them. Just in the last year, they've set up a research and development division, which it makes sense to have. It also makes sense that they haven't needed to till now. As number one in a not-all-that-competitive field, the brand recognition they've got has carried them through bad products (medstation 2000 software version 1.19 q++) mainly without a blip.

Their bad products and the swollen budgets and high liabilities of healthcare did collide, though, once in 2001, to create a field of warmth, beauty and light. I got a job with them apologizing for their machines not working right, due to the aforementioned experimental software package (that one bombed) early in the winter of that year.

I had applied for a bunch of jobs on Monster.com and soon I got a call from a lady in a temp office who hired me immediately. My background at the time was very customer-service heavy and I had dabbled in pharmacy and those were the ingredients they were looking for. I wasn't supposed to fix stuff as much as apologize all day. Sounds crappy, right? It was at first, but it got better.

I worked twenty hours a week but soon a guy got fired and I got his hours, and then I was working forty eight hours a week. Things started getting better, operationally speaking, but the nurses kept complaining, so we stayed. The temp job lasted three months, then another three, then another. Then I got laid off but in a couple weeks I got rehired. About a year after our hires we all got canned and moved on. A guy I worked with got hired by Pyxis and now drives all over Minnesota fixing stuff at all hours of the night and day. I don't know where the others are. I wound up in the pharmacy of the hospital I was fixing Pyxises in, and am still called on to swing into action when something isn't working right.

The software situation is primarily a hazy blur to me, but the mechanisms of the machines are pretty much my bitch. I have fixed them with needles, oxygen tank wrenches, Kelly clamps; everything lying around in a hospital other than the patients. Because this is not normally a part of the job description of a pharmacy technician (which is what I am), I call my job Captain Fantastic. I even sometimes put on a name tag that says "Captain Fantastic!" Management doesn't mind, even though it's a dig on their inability to fence in my job duties on paper; they've been beaten into submission by the union garbage that's always going on like a three-ring circus without the clowns; when management-union relations backslide you just have to watch it all go to hell. There's mediation all the time, arbitration, shared governance, people registering grievances, it sounds awful.

Which means I can also answer the phone any way I want (within reason) and get away with that, too. I drawl slightly when I answer: "Innpatient phaarmacy, phaarmacy technician speeaking."

It's calcuated; just enough to irritate someone who needs to be irritated (like one pharmacist we have, who cuts me off at "Inpatient phaarmacy, phaa" with "Ok Dale? I really don't have time for that right now. So can you please stop doing that? Ok, can I speak to a pharmacist? Who's there right now?" She's dumb and doesn't see that her irritation has cost her more time than I ever could have. She also doesn't care. We all get a kick out of how much she sucks.) but not enough to register as strange to anyone calling from outside, like another pharmacy or a doctor. Many other people, pharmacists mostly, within the hospital who regularly hear me do it find it entertaining and useful; they know who I am right away and also what I can do and what I can't, as an individual, without my having to say my name. --punctuation note, I really don't like footnotes so I'm parenthesizing pro re nata, nunc pro tunc-- (I don't like saying my name when I answer the phone. That's kind of too personal to belong to the hospital if you ask me. I've settled on telling them who thy're speaking to 'professionally'. That's fair.) I also do that because I get bored a lot.

When I worked for Pyxis I had a lot of free time, some of which I spent consorting with a nurse's aide who would later become my wife, and before she came along, reading. Once I had the rare privilege of going to a bookstore (Booksmart in Uptown, excellent staff and inventory) and asking for the longest book they had. They gave me the unabridged Count of Monte Cristo, which I read at work. It was excellent. I read a lot in that year, both at work and on my ways to and from it on the half hour bus ride.

I don't get to read that much any more and I miss it, but I do find time for this internet BS at all hours, so I've really traded my actual free time and have no free time while I'm getting paid. If free time is a shrinky-dink, work is a hot oven. They get bigger, right? If they shrink, then change that to something that gets bigger. God, why are you even reading this?

Anyway, I just got done reading Ubik by Philip K. Dick and am now reading Hitler moves East by Paul Carrell, which J got me for Christmas. It's great, Ubik was good, too.

Ten Best Sleep-Deprived Hallucinations

1. My fingers are paralyzed and will never type again
2. My eyelids are magnetized to each other
3. I have not only read the same sentence eight times and still have no idea what it says, I remain quite convinced that it is changing meaning on me at will
4. The cat is vomiting in my shoes. Wait, that might be real…
5. My belt is cutting me in half
6. The glow-in-the-dark St. Isidore statuette my brother bought me is talking behind my back
7. Spud will make fun of me when I post this. Oh wait, that one’s real, too…
8. The branch scraping against the window is actually an escaped convict with a butcher knife
9. The infommercial host is sending me psychic messages
10. Everytime my cellphone beeps that it is looking for service, it is in fact, sending coordinates to the Mother Ship

Davezilla

Fuck The New York Times:
"This isn’t a slippery slope, it’s a greased cliff with a vicious downdraft and parachute made out of fucking elephants."

print the pdfs

David Foster Wallace collection:
The Know(e)

this guy is awesome

The writing of Joe Bageant

Here's his blog

They're making Clerks 2

ConsumerReports.org - Organic products, when buying organic pays (and doesn't) 2/06

James Wolcott: Big Tears Mean Nothing: "The whole concept of redemption seems fishy to me, another form of sentimentality. How many people do you know have found redemption? What does 'redemption' really mean? It's got a lofty religious sound, but the vast majority of people improve or worsen in varying degrees over time, and even those who radically turn their lives around or pull themselves out of the abyss still have to go on doing the mundane things we all do, often suffering relapses or channeling their sobriety and sadder-but-wiser maturity into passive-aggressive preening of their own moral goodness."

oh dear

from somethingawful's "worst of",

...
The tip of the homosexual archipelago that is www.robclarke.net

Something Awful - The Internet Makes You Stupid: "The Letters of Beresford Maynwaring"

stupid

Muslims Clash Over Oakland Liquor Stores

Sounds to me like they clashed with the alcoholic way of life. If they have no respect for the right to get drunk maybe they should move out of the country and go somewhere Muslim.

I wonder what the world would look like if we tried out a little experiment. Give every religious group, every religious person, a chance to create their perfect world some place. At first they'd have to write it up, how the state would operate and what culture would be like, how taxation would be collected and what the rules of imprisonment and banishment would be, and see what they look like. I imagine by and large, Muslim utopianism would look pretty ugly and stupid, and that women would all move away from it, at least the ones who aren't retarded (not that that matters under a burqa. Excuse me while I contemplate putting all retarded women in burqas just to piss off the Muslims. I'm starting to think I'm not a very nice person deep down.)

Christian utopianism would look a lot like, what, Utah? Of course by now there are so many kinds of Christians you'd have a stack a mile high of different ideas about what's right and wrong, at least in this country, and the dialogue would quickly degenerate into cable news.

There is no working utopia; the word itself is a reference to the Greek words ou-topos, meaning "no place", and eu-topos, meaning "good place". Here's Thomas More's original work, and here's a little historical background to put it into perspective.

I woke up thinking of a word I thought I had heard a long time ago, a British insult. When I went to look it up it wasn't there. I thought I'd just make mention of it because I think my memory of it is accurate and I wanted to leave a record of it to affirm anyone else's curiosity who may be thinking of it and goes and googles it. The word is "criff", and I think it meant something close to riff-raff. It's important when hurling British insults to use the appropriate number of syllables, otherwise you can't get the right tempo and force. It may be a dying art, the colorful insulting of people.

These two sites left me empty-handed but they're fun to look through anyway.

A dictionary of slang - "C" - Slang and colloquialisms of the UK.

BBC America - Dictionary

Tech-Recipes.com - MySpace: Hack to Download Any Song on MySpace

article involving depleted uranium

"“Military men are just dumb stupid animals to be used as pawns in foreign policy.” - Henry Kissinger"

This ain't like no ping pong I've ever seen!

ABBRAXAPORN
NOT safe for work

oh my fucking god

Look at this mutant cat. Really. Mutant.

Yahoo! News Photo

whoever wears boots like this deserves to be punished.
nsfw

My brother sent me an email that said "don't look at this" and gave a link. It's most of what you need to know about semen collection from various animals. Illustrated. Thanks, man. Thanks a lot.

Index

You're going to want to devote some time to:

THE UNCENSORED.com ~ Celebrities, Movies, Videos, Photos, Girls, etc.,

where you can rate people and their doability. With items like Which ass would you do?
you'll be asking yourself, well, which ass you'd do.

Wow, a good post at Fleshbot! Not SFW

The Best of "Best of Craigslist" : Fleshbot

Hank does the bayou...

Hank's Hepcat Hideaway: Zydeco a Go Go: the deep south through a t-shirt perspective

Let a dinosaur explain the expression "beg the question"!

qwantz.com - dinosaur comics - January 5th 2006

Variations on monopoly! I'll be referring to this at some point, I'm sure. Out of curiosity, how do you feel about the free money at free parking rule?

Play Again Games : MonopolyHomeRules

The Blog | Lucy Carrigan: Coal Country, USA | The Huffington Post

print

Tom Watson: Bridge to Nowhere

cross your fingers

Vice President Cheney Hospitalizeds

Newt Gingrich and Tom DeLay: Mining the GOP for Comedy Gold

I just heard on the news that three Turkish children who contracted the bird flu got it by playing catch with the severed head of the recently decapitated, infected chicken.

Skittamarink-a dink-a dink
Skittamarink-a doo
Rascal Flatts sucks

There's a three-part domentary thing coming up this week on pbs, six hours total starting M, T, & W at nine pm. It's called country boys and it's about some guys from Appalachia. I'll be watching that.

wow

"'I started this lawsuit because I wanted to deal the final blow against the Church, the bearer of obscurantism and regression,' Cascioli told Reuters.":
Did Jesus exist? Italian court to decide - Yahoo! News

The Year in Culture - Judd Apatow, Noah Baumbach, Curtis Sittenfeld, and others on 2005's most notable cultural happenings.

It's two o'clock, which means in Prior Lake right now Shannon McGinniss is becoming Shannon Steining (sp? I suck at the ie/ei thing) in an excruciating catholic ceremony which will include a mass, when everybody will have to take their attention away from the bride and put it on drinking Jesus's blood.

Oh my, isn't the bride just beau-- Praise Jesus.

They look so happy toge-- Merciful lord, king of kings.

Jon looks so handso-- Kyrie eleison, Highest praise be to Jesus, who maketh me lie down in green pastures.

They'll do that again when she dies. Pretty great, ain't it? Thanks, Jesus, my favorite crucified dude! Hang in there!

But seriously, congratulations, Jon and Shannon, may your days togeth-- All praise Jesus, without whom hellfire and damnation are certain. Hallelujah, Amen.

Wulad's done a good 'un about that weird blue butt in Yahoo news.

Wrapped Up Like A Douche

sad

Lou Rawls dies of cancer

wholesome or creepy?

Sky Angel: 1-800-SKY-ANGEL: Delivering the Best in Christian & Family Entertainment

The most important scientific revolutions all include, as their only common feature, the dethronement of human arrogance from one pedestal after another of previous convictions about our centrality in the cosmos.
- Stephen Jay Gould

american fascism

stolen from mefi:

The Hidden State Steps Forward
by (infamous Nation author) Jonathan Schell. A quote says it best:

The danger is not abstract or merely symbolic. Bush's abuses of presidential power are the most extensive in American history. He has launched an aggressive war ("war of choice," in today's euphemism) on false grounds. He has presided over a system of torture and sought to legitimize it by specious definitions of the word. He has asserted a wholesale right to lock up American citizens and others indefinitely without any legal showing or the right to see a lawyer or anyone else. He has kidnapped people in foreign countries and sent them to other countries, where they were tortured.

Fafblog! the whole worlds only source for Fafblog.: "A world without political corruption is nearly unthinkable: what would prevent America from falling under the pernicious influence of ordinary citizens? Indeed, free of corruption, the nation's leaders might fall prey to the devious machinations of any indolent wastrel with a vote, and millions of laggard commoners would wield their new, unearned power over a hapless plutocracy."

cool

Flickr: Photos tagged with stencil

feel better soon, Hank!

My brother got his wisdom teeth pulled and is probably floating on a cloud of drugs right now.

enter apocalypse

Barry Gibb buys Johnny Cash's Tennessee home - Yahoo! News

hard

Etymologic: the toughest etymology (word origin) game on the Web

An unusual blog, devoted entirely to womens' butts.

"Booty-Shake"

NotSFW

science, a many splendored thing

Science's 10 most beautiful experiments

OR

Crank Dot Net | science

what a trip

Indiana lawmakers huddle in prayer | IndyStar.com

...That didn't prevent the lawmakers for holding their own prayer, nor did it keep about 30 people from gathering in the Statehouse rotunda this morning to pray.

In fact, the ruling motivated them.

Sitting in blue chairs in the marble rotunda, people began the prayer session at 10 a.m. by chanting "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus."...

Sounds like an episode of the Jerry Springer show.

finally

Padilla Makes First Court Appearance - Yahoo! News

If religion is mankind's stupidest mistake, which it is, what does that make Pat Robertson?

Christian broadcaster Pat Robertson suggested Thursday that Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon's stroke was divine punishment for "dividing God's land."

Robertson Links Sharon Stroke, God's Wrath - Yahoo! News

the best blonde joke ever?

survey

Is pussy a curse word?
How about poon tang?

great post

If you only look at one thing here this week, make it this.

It's all Newton's fault | MetaFilter

That leads here. Check this out.

caption

Murray Waas: America Mourns With Anderson Cooper

And then America will mourn with Geraldo Rivera.

Earlier this morning, I watched Geraldo on Fox, already emoting; if he has no news to report, he does have his emotions to share with us all, until he is somewhere else soon emoting about something else. At the end of his brief segment, Fox's anchor-of-the-moment thanked Geraldo for his "truly heartbreaking words" before noting that Geraldo was the host of Fox's own "Geraldo At Large" program. No opportunity should ever be lost to promote the brand.

And it will not be long, of course, before Bill O'Reilly screams at someone. Accountability at last!

why?

Ever notice how food sold as "hearty" is actually pretty damn bad for your heart?

Start here, go anywhere. Anywhere porn-y.
sla : now softcore only

Do I have to say it?

interesting

OfficialWire: Pentagon Propaganda Program Orders Soldiers To Promote Iraq War While Home On Leave

12/30/05 -- Good soldiers follow orders and hundreds of American military men and women returned to the United States on holiday leave this month with orders to sell the Iraq war to a skeptical public.

The program, coordinated through a Pentagon operation dubbed "Operation Homefront," ordered military personnel to give interviews to their hometown newspapers, television stations and other media outlets and praise the American war effort in Iraq.

what you need

I was asking people what their feeds were yesterday and hank didn't know what I was talking about, so I figure it's high time we cover a few bases. There are some great toys out there that make your life better, and here's what they are.

1) A feedreader. What it does is checks feeds for you and reads them. Then it grabs them and presents them to you all together, so that the ten blogs you read every day, you don't have to go to individually, and if there's a link there you are dying to read, you can go to it easily.

I just heard that the WV coal miners turned up dead. The families are bummed out. But I think the real losers are the cable news channels. Has anyone asked poor Anderson Cooper how he feels about this stunning, very sad, tragic reversal? We love you, Anderson!

Anyway, any feed you put in gets scraped by your reader, and it's nice. You don't realize how much you read until several times a day there are sixty or more posts sitting there waiting to be read. I am annoyed at some sites that don't publish as a feed, such as mimi smartypants and wood s lot. Out of the caves, people!

So that's the feedreader, a really great invention. I have already explained that I use linux's liferea, but that windows people can use "feedreader", and mac people can get the gui-licious ifeed. That last was made up; couldn't resist.

2) A flickr account. Get one already, because when you want your pictures somewhere that won't melt, flickr's got you covered. After watching tinypic disappear my shit, I'm down with the fascism of my flickr account. They encourage hotlinking, and that makes me feel good!

3) Firefox. It's wild that popups, malware toolbars, etc. have actually become par for the course when that need not be the case. People who use IE for anything but emergencies need their heads checked. I'll give everyone time ('cept safari users) to convert, then we'll cover favorite extensions at a later date.

4) Bittorrent. Get a good client, I use azureus. It's easy to use and does a good job. I normally go looking for stuff at isohunt. There are others and I'd like to hear those suggested. Anyone mentions Kazaa and they lose an index finger. There are other networks too, that we can get into when I start using them if that ever happens-- I've heard good things about inet and directconnect.

5) The web things are far too many to go into, but for now, if you want to hear some good music, check out Chillits '05 I beat metafilter to that by two days.

Guess the City

Warning, naked woman that makes Jesus cry.

shocking!

When politicians get busted they always looks exactly like this.

The House That Jack Built: A Comprehensive Look At The Abramoff Scandal

the skankiest skank of them all?

Belladonna The Official Site of the Porn Star - Belladonna Entertainment, LLC. - Enter Belladonna

Oh hell no, not safe for work.

makin' friends

BBC NEWS | Middle East | US air strike hits Iraqi family

this should be entertaining

I hope you're ready for hip-hop and rap music blogging.

Thug Life Army Blog : Press Release for 'Tha Spot'

Here's 'Tha Spot'

survey

What's on your feedreader, and what's missing from mine?

today in history

1431 - Joan of Arc is handed over to the Bishop Pierre Cauchon.

1777 - Battle of Princeton. American general George Washington defeats British general Charles Cornwallis.

1920 - The Boston Red Sox sell Babe Ruth to the New York Yankees for a sum of $125,000 and a loan of more than $300,000.

1925 - Benito Mussolini announces he is taking dictatorial powers over Italy.

1957 - Hamilton Watch Company introduces the first electric watch. (They also made the world's first digital watch in 1970.)

1959 - Alaska is admitted as the 49th U.S. state.

1987 - Aretha Franklin becomes the first woman inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

1990 - Former leader of Panama Manuel Noriega surrenders to American forces.

Today is approximately Earth's perihelion, which means it passes the closest it ever does to the sun today. It's also the best date to view the Quadrantids meteor shower.

In ancient Rome, today was the celebration in honor of Pax, the goddess of peace.

saved!

still hard at work

Swift Vets and POWs for Truth - Service to Country

The only Zapruder film conspiracy site you'll ever need:
JFK assassination film hoax - A simple introduction

hmm

Support for Bush drops among US military: poll - Yahoo! News

the law of increasing returns

Since I mentioned it as a search term, three more people have come here on a google search for "dirty barefoot wanker canada".

Anyone care to explain?

*update 12 28 06*
There have been 87 queries for this in 2006, all originating in Minneapolis.

Now I may not be as 'emotionally or morally sophisticated' as Roger L Simon, but then I didn't spend the afternoon of 9/11 flushing away my beliefs and convictions in a piddle-stained panic. So please spare me the 'cojones' and 'cowardice' locker room speech from the man who is one car backfire away from turning into a fedora floating in a puddle of pee.

In fact, my policy is to refer to the warbloggers in 2006 as "bedwetters." There need be no shame in being a bedwetter. It's a condition that can be treated...

Stripped of their illusions and ego defenses, they may then be ready to rejoin society and relearn the pleasure of what it's like to live unafraid.

And if that doesn't work they should just form their own support group and throw themselves a pee party.

":
James Wolcott: Rolling Out the Rubber Sheets

ThankyaJesus!

Can you name this televangelist?

"When the mainstream media addressed the John Seigenthaler Sr. affair — he's the respected journalist who wrote an op-ed in USAToday complaining that slanderously wrong information about him was in Wikipedia for four months — the subtext couldn't be clearer: The media were implicitly contrasting Wikipedia's credibility to their own. Ironically, the some of the media got the story fundamentally wrong, in tone and sometimes in substance."
JOHO - December 29, 2005

Calendar of US Military Dead during Iraq War

maybe this won't suck

Cloud Factory Mixes - CHILLITS 2005

awesome

• Stump the Schwab
ESPNCL, Tue Jan 03 12:00pm CST
• Stump the Schwab
ESPNCL, Thu Jan 05 12:00pm CST
• Stump the Schwab
ESPNCL, Fri Jan 06 12:00pm CST
• Stump the Schwab
ESPNCL, Mon Jan 09 12:00pm CST
• Stump the Schwab
ESPNCL, Tue Jan 10 12:00pm CST
• Stump the Schwab
ESPNCL, Wed Jan 11 12:00pm CST
• Stump the Schwab
ESPNCL, Thu Jan 12 12:00pm CST
• Stump the Schwab
ESPNCL, Fri Jan 13 12:00pm CST

duh

Muslim Scholars Were Paid to Aid U.S. Propaganda - New York Times

oil troubles in Ukraine

BBC NEWS | Europe | Ukraine 'stealing Europe's gas'

Double Flee A

Tuesday

wow.

play!

Monday

movie review

yummy dog meat

yikes

Sunday

good idea

Saturday

print

Friday

print

my oh my

misc.

print

print

Thursday

hmm

Wednesday

print

oh dear

our crazy world

Tuesday

Monday

damn internet

hometown news

boldface mine

link slingin'

Sunday

Cheney autopsy reveals evil robot

Saturday

from the reader

Friday

from the reader

lunch break

greeeat

Thursday

PSA

we need one of these!

person of the year

google under pressure from Bush administration's domestic spies

Wednesday

bruce up, chuck down

Tuesday

everyone isn't retarded!

angelina jolie = not hot

I concur

excellent

Monday

tv gone

awesome

Saturday

get it

let it drip

real or fake?

An open letter to the lead singer of Chicago

note to self

pharmacy survey!

print

Friday

print

today in history

oh boy

Thursday

print

man alive

Wednesday

oh brother

war on whatever

actual headline

reading

Tuesday

print the pdfs

this guy is awesome

oh dear

stupid

Monday

oh my fucking god