Thursday

Has anyone read this yet?
The End Of Faith, by Sam Harris

lots of album covers!
show and tell home

print at school:
David Foster Wallace - Commencement Speech at Kenyon University

cool

"exciting links for boring days in no particular order"

Wednesday


"A 646.2-pound (293 kg) Mekong giant catfish, netted in Thailand, may be the largest freshwater fish ever found. The fish was documented as part of a World Wildlife Fund-National Geographic project to identify and study and conserve freshwater fish around the world that exceed 6 feet in length and 200 pounds in weight."

It is a far, far better thing to have a firm anchor in nonsense than to put out on the troubled sea of thought.
- John Kenneth Galbraith

Mixed-gender pornography boosts sperm

use at work:
How to find ebooks using Google : Lifehacker

If I'm not mistaken, today opens Tom "scientology" Cruise's new movie, war of the worlds. I predict there will be an excruciatingly patriotic element to this movie, to take advantage of every American's built-in feeling of pride when they lay their eyes on the red, white, and blue.

a) Tom Cruise will be an ex-army guy who saves everybody
b) The army will save everybody
c) The army will just look really awesome for no reason

Did I miss any possibilities?

get this man some porn, fast

"A 45-year-old man was arrested after a teenage girl found him staring at her from below an outhouse seat, police said. Police said they pulled Gary Moody, from Gardiner, Maine, from the waste tank under a log cabin outhouse on Monday."
yuck

awesome

'DVD Jon' Breaks Google Video Lock - Yahoo! News

In what could become a regular feature here, I present "news":

"Samantha Simpson (R) and Allison Ezell, members of PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) pose for a picture during a protest in front of the Shoe Market of the Americas annual show at the Miami Beach Convention Center June 27, 2005."


no comment

Tuesday

The bathrooms at this school are far too quiet. You could hear a pin drop in them. And if pins were all that were dropping, it wouldn't bother me. But it isn't pins. It's poop. The bathrooms don't smell particularly bad, they are clean and well lit. But the absolute silence in there is unbearable.

There is plenty going on that I don't want to know, that I have to. It isn't possible not to infer, with a high degree of confidence, the consistency of the stool falling out of the person in the toilet stall. How? First you hear the bumptity-bump of the toilet paper roll, then the tearing of the paper. Even with the low quality tissue they have here it's possible to hear the individual perforations tear. Then guess what you're going to hear. That's right, the sound of someone actually wiping their butthole. Then the pause as they check the paper, and then the sound the paper makes as it hits the water underneath them. Then the process is repeated until the crap is wiped off of their body. I don't want to thear that, and I don't know anyone who does.

from today's strib


ME TOO! HA HA HA!

I don't like TV. It's just a bunch of total shit they throw together to get you to watch advertising, which is always as annoying as it can possibly be to get you to notice it. The degree to which you have to condition yourself to tune it out, I am altogether uncomfortable with. I refuse to desensitize myself for the sake of entertainment, especially when it's not as good as a book, say, "the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy", or "a conferedacy of dunces". I love books. No ads.

I was watching TV a little this week, though, at random times, and I'd see the news. And maybe it takes someone like me to notice, but I always see pretty girls in news stories. The cameramen were out filming some fish kills in lakes in Minnesota a few days ago, and you see these pretty girls walking by the side of the lake. What that has to do with the story, nothing. Here's a picture of the ten commandments from Yahoo:

Caption: "Seventh-graders Megan Brown, left, and Shannon Fitzpatrick pause at a monument with the Ten Commandments on it Thursday, March 25, 2004, on the Missouri State Capitol grounds in Jefferson City, Mo. A U.S. Supreme Court ruling Monday, June 27, 2005, about a similar monument on the Texas State Capitol grounds will permit both to stay in place."
They could have used a fat person for scale, or any other kind of person, instead of jailbait. But it didn't happen, did it?

Here's the picture that lets you know it was hot in Rome yesterday:


The worst one of these I can't find for you, unfortunately, without searching microfilm, but I'll describe it. I was walking up Hennepin Avenue when I saw a girl I knew through a friend, whose most distinguishing characteristic, not that she wasn't beautiful, was her amazing rack. She was astonishing and magnificent in a tight, red shirt. I said hello to her as I passed her going north at twenty-fourth street. I remember thinking she wasn't unhappy looking. It was September 12, 2001, and there obviously wasn't going to be any bigger news story than "how everybody feels about what happened yesterday" for a while. I looked at the Star Tribune the next day and lo and behold, there's the girl I saw yesterday, photographed crying about a block south of where I saw her. In front of Jefferson school where I go to vote, she was photographed crying, with some description like "Local people are still broken up about terror attacks. Here, Jane Doe expresses her shock and grief." That asshole of a photographer saw those amazing tits and made the girl cry. The tits didn't make it to the paper. You just saw her face in her hands, but I can imagine the dickhead whipping a shitty just to accost the poor girl and talk to her about something, anything.

So keep an eye out for pretty girls in the news. It's reassuring to know, even indirectly, that people are still celebrating them, even if it isn't official. Is it a vestige of mankind's (awesome) prehistoric worship of the female form? Or is it just horny guys with boring jobs? We may never know.

Back during microturning, Mondays were bad because we'd lose our touch over the weekend. Yesterday reminded me of those days. It was pretty much a bad day at school.

But it was a good day for my lovely fiancee, who had lasik, and who is already in good shape where that goes. If I could have known what kind of day I was going to have at school I would have taken her to the appointment myself. The right eye is seeing really well and the left one is sore, but she's been assured that's ok, and she's relaxed about the whole thing. She's the best patient of all time. Very brave. She has to wear these goggles to sleep so she doesn't drag her corneas across the pillowcase by accident, or scratch them open, which is for the best. She said I'm going to get tired of her telling me what she can see all the time, but I don't think I will. How nice that people have devised this way of helping people see better. It's one of the nicest things there is.

A friend is showing her film "venus of mars" at the flaming film festival at district 202 Saturday night at 5, and it's free. My weekly dose of racing has moved to Friday this week, so I can actually go to that.

If you've never checked out April Winchell's multimedia collection, go there right now and listen to "the joke" by Kenny Hicks. Your browser will find the word in the page for you so you don't have to read the whole thing. If network security blocks you from it, I'll email it to you. This catchy tune will have you kicking yourself for humming it all day.

Monday

As you know, I won the silver medal in wulad's poetry contest. Here it is. I know it might seem a little repetitive to keep going on about it, but what good is a cool .jpg if you don't blog it?
(My name and my blog's name are curiously joined, but I assure you it's authentic.)

Last night I was going to go downtown and watch a burlesque review that sounded like a decent show, but I did some research and decided that the whole club sounded a little seedy. So I went over to a friend's house and we cooked out instead, then I came home and exposed my brother for the first time to April Winchell's multimedia collection, which is one of the best resources I know of for hilarious audio. If there are more like it, please let me know. (Thanks to a little firefox plugin called flashgot, I downloaded the entire thing at once. Thanks, April. I love ya, but if your site ever disappears, your google cache won't do me any good.)

It's ugly weather outside after the hottest and most humid night of the summer so far last night. Thunder and light rain, 78F.

My lovely fiancee rests semi-peacefully. (Not as enthusiastic about thunder as am I.) Later today she has a medical procedure with Dr. Whiting, who is going to zap her eyes with a laser beam. I'm very happy for her, because corrective lenses can be a hassle. My fingers are crossed and I am ready to cook dinner, et cetera. I think I'm going to read to her tonight. Maybe "The Worst Mistake in the History of the Human Race". Or part of a book. David Sedaris, maybe. If I can fake that annoying voice of his, extra points. Of course, I could just tune us in to car talk and some episodes of this american life on the internet. Then we could hear the actual annoying voice of David Sedaris! We shall see.

As for me, it's back to watchmaking school where we're actually making watches. At this time we're learning to cut precision recesses in plates.

Sunday

Because his father touched his butthole too much when he was a boy and he is seriously sexually fucked up, John Ashcroft (pictured) decided that female breasts burn his mind like the fires of a thousand hells, so he had it covered up. According to an msnbc story: "After more than three years of being blocked by large blue drapes, two Art Deco aluminum statues of semi-nude figures in the building’s Great Hall can be seen again."

I don't know about you, but I'd like to take this opportunity to bow my head and say thanks, lord, for not just John Ashcroft, but all the morally upstanding people who want to protect us from the dangers of freedom.


Breasts are for feeding infants, dipshit.

FUTURE WINNERS OF THE NEW YORKER CARTOON CAPTION CONTEST.
By Roy Futterman

"You are doing something unusual, Harold!"

"I certainly am in a bar with other businessmen."

"This desert island is a bummer."

"I love being wealthy in the Hamptons."

"I'm saying a cliché in a different context, Pam."

"Boy, I sure do like intercourse."

"I'm thinking something incongruous to what I'm doing."

"Wanda, we are doing some nutty things in this picture!"

The government's decision that private property can be seized and given to commercial interests is shitty, so here instead is something else. A website devoted to healthy foods. I looked around here and saw a list of a hundred or so of them:
The World's Healthiest Foods

Saturday

me almost win

After much agonizing personal inventory and appraisal, I whipped out a second-place finish in WULAD's poetry contest. For the record, I hated my parents only briefly, and for the sake of art. Enjoy.

When I'm done high-fiving myself for my awesome poetry, it's off to Elko speedway for the most testosterone available anywhere other than downtown minneapolis, which due to the gay pride festival will be up to its manly earlobes in buttless chaps. Before I have time to visualize that, I'm out of here.

Oh, and next Friday is eve of destruction at Elko. Perhaps more on later, otherwise google it and figure it out. Basically, come for the cheap beer, stay for the carnage.

birthday!

We celebrated Bumwyth's 30th b-day last night at the black forest inn. I left his birthday card in my car and bought him a beer to make up for it. It was nice to see everybody again. I've not seen some of them in ages. May old age be kind to you, bummy, you fossil.

The bratwursts at the black forest were unimpressive. Parboiled then finished on a flat top, and with too fine a grind. Better brats are available from Saint Bonaficius somewhere where my friend John gets them, Clancy's meats in Linden hills, the wedge co-op, and the linden hills co-op. They were still superior to a Johnsonville, or would be if cooked properly.

Friday

Today's awesome exception to the link boycott
Notice anything wrong here? It's not an American flag if it has only forty nine stars, et cetera.


Cracking the Flag-Burning Amendment

What a school week. All the mental space left over from our simple microtechnical work has been occupied and my short term memory overfloweth with screw head recesses, cap jewel placement, boring bar angles, and cross slide chattering, to name a few things. Dale is out of his comfort zone. Hermann was very useful this week. His speeches are full of pregnant pauses, which are really just him formulating the english in his head for what he is about to say. It's a little awkward when you're used to first language people with all their well-placed pauses and movie-actor stolen idiosyncracies.

After school yesterday a bunch of us from class gathered round a table outside at costello's on selby and western for beers, which it takes more of on a hot day. Four beers later it was frisbee golf in the heat, (which was drier than expected, boon) and there was practically no one out there. Then I came home and made pasta bolognese. Not really, but the marinara wasn't bad. Tonight I have bumwyth's 30th birthday party at the black forest inn, and the lovely J drives clear out to Eau Claire to use as a jumping off point for Wausau (sp?) for Jackie's bridal shower. 'Tis the season to get married for J and her friends, I guess. This summer (and more to come, I imagine) is thick with weddings. We're going to need a lot of beer before this is over.

If it's possible, I want to get over to the varsity club tonight and watch superdanger, divorcee, and revolver modele tonight after the birthday party. Divorcee does a great cover of SOS by ABBA. Sunday I want to go to a place I've never heard of, Seville Cabaret, for cheesecake, "the naughty naughty show, a not-so-nude burlesque review". That's at eight. Gmail for carpool.

The point is, I am a busy guy. Too busy, almost. Started rereading confederacy of dunces last night, one of my favorites. Want a different book, though. Suggestions?

Most important thing I learned this week, do not sniff the boiling denatured alcohol, because it will take ten years off your life.

Thursday

If life had evolved differently, if there were somehow three strands of dna instead of only two, life as we know it would operate very differently. Sexual selection would be more complex if it took three organisms to reproduce, which would never occur due to the expected economic advantages of a double helix, but it's an interesting thought experiment. How would these organisms behave? Comedians would have to work a lot harder, for one thing. None of this "women be like this, and men be like that! hahahaha!" crap.

I've been sitting here commiserating with my brother and fiancee (who is up before her wake-time) about the weather today, which is supposed to be one of the hottest days of the year, 95F and 100% humid, and forgot where that thought was headed. Damn. I hope that as a result of not linking to every site on the internet my ability to concentrate will return and these lapses (I almost wrote palsies, hmm) will decrease in frequency.

The air conditioner I bought at target was the biggest one they had. It's a "Haier", which is the chinese company which is bidding 1.3 Bil for Maytag corporation. I want america to be number one and everything, but shit, I needed an air conditioner. (Thanks to everyone who bridal showered the lovely J with the required money to buy that thing.)

I read a news story this morning about how a chinese state-owned oil company (China National Offshore Oil Corporation) is bidding to buy Unocal. The story says that "CNOOC is being advised by an army of bankers from Goldman Sachs, J. P. Morgan Chase and N M Rothschild & Sons of Britain." So it's not like the far east is just steamrolling us. Our guys are going to help sell our economy down the river in such a way as to maximize their profit-taking. That's the way of the world I guess, and my understanding of it is definitely limited, but I'm smart enough to know that when everything is owned by the chinese government, they aren't going to be hustling to make life easy for the americans they put out of work. Feel free to berate me for my dumb-assness where this is concerned. I'd rather be wrong and learn something than be a big pussy with no comments enabled (Lileks).

Yesterday at watch school I centered what will be my balance bridge using a very old technique involving a long stick. I was lining it up looking out the window and realized my focal point in the distance was a humongous stained glass window of the cathedral, and it gave me pause. I could have been doing this exact thing four hundred years ago. It was cool. Then the Napoleon Dynamite t-shirt wearing guy (yes, he had it on) from my class came over and annoyed me back to annoying reality. Fucking young people.

Wednesday

I don't know why you visit this page. Perhaps it is as penance for a lifetime of misdeeds. Maybe it is to take advantage of the links that I spend too much time tracking down and spearing. Maybe you want to check in with your buddyroo, and this is the easiest way to do it.

Some people are known to have visited by their search terms, my favorite one today is "rascal flatts gay". Exactly. Lots of people are looking for porn and come here, and some are looking up Ann Coulter pictures. Somebody got here from a yahoo search for "a girl without freckles", which is fine.

I'm here, as much as anything, as a morning ritual. Each day I wake up and look around the internet and find things to read. But today I don't want to. If you want links, I recommend you trawl the link bar over there. --->

Something awful's link of the day is usually great material, fazed has entertaining whatnot, and metafilter is probably my favorite website. Hit 'em up. You can find out what happened today in history (such as today in 1633, the Holy Office in Rome forced Galileo Galilei to recant his scientific view that the Sun, not the Earth, is the center of the Universe), by visiting wikipedia.

Other than that, just looking up anything at all will normally take you somewhere unexpected. I'm just a little tired of it right now. I have seen a hell of a lot of what people's computers have to offer. I have spent a tremendous amount of time being curious as to what different people have to say about different things, and I'm satisfied for now. (It was exactly what you'd expect.)

Visit archive.org. Google "most emailed", and look at the big news stories in meta-word of mouth. Use the touchgraph googlebrowser, and go somewhere new. Happy hunting.

Tonight I am going to target and buying the biggest air conditioner they sell. My lovely fiancee is oppressed by the heat, and although it does place her conveniently in a bikini for sitting sround the house, she (alas) is not my maidenservant, and I must provide comfort to her more than to my concupiscence. Fear not, everyone, even in clothing, our love will find a way.

Day three of Hermann the German today, his last this trip. His help is always valuable if a little intense. People respond well to his teaching style, performancewise. Yesterday we flattened our plates with a shellac chuck, I took a whiff of semi-boiling denatured alcohol and just about passed out, and we drilled screw holes and positioned and inserted locating pins. Today we center. I also hope to make a spare peice. Not too crazy about my friction fit.

Tuesday

high blood pressure

Tobacco is an acquired taste. At first it's horrible, then the mellow smoothness comes out. Like coffee, it's not that good until you get used to it. Scotch whisky is the same way.

I have another thing to add to this list.

Carmina Burana.

I don't recommend anyone listen to this for the first time in morning rush hour after one too many cups of coffee. It's intense, and can make you crash and die. Don't worry, I'm fine and didn't crash. But damn.

Hermann Mayer is down from Lititz watch technicum, to demonstrate balance assembly proficiencies, etc. Today will be a long school day.

Her loveliness is back from Wisconsin, which I'm happy about. She brought back a car full of bridal swag, which she spent most of the night arranging. If a smart man knows when to clear out and stand back, I guess that makes me smart. Welcome back!

Both my brothers are up to their belly buttons in study guides. The GMAT and the MCAT are breathing down their metaphorical necks, and I'm feeling very happy to be in a technical field, rather than memorizing obscure formulas. Good luck, dudes!

Monday

look outside

Check out the moon over the next three days. It's supposed to look cool because it's so low in the sky.
Summer Moon Illusion

weird

The queen of farts (/video) is pretty sure some people are going to love watching and listening to her fart. The internet is a strange place indeed.

Back to school! Which, after this weekend, I am looking forward to very much. Working at the pharmacy doesn't exactly make me leap with glee.

Today I'll punch my plate with the (sexy) blued hole punch I made Friday, then drill it and then who knows what. I think most of the class has yet to make their punches (I got first crack at the Schaublin), so i'm going to disassemble my own watch, a 35-jewel Trias automatic wind. I took it down to the barrel last week and today that gear train is out of there. In the future, I'll adjust endshake and oil it, but I want to make sure I don't blow it so I'm taking it one step at a time. There might be some surprises in there I wasn't expecting. Um, because that's what "surprise" means.

There's a guy in my class who really loves Napolen Dynamite. He quotes it and even has a t-shirt with a helicopter that someone wears in the movie! Because I don't want to hog all the fun, here's an assortment of hilarity from what's apparently the funniest fucking thing ever in the history of the entire goddamn universe, the magic and indefatigable Napoleon Dynamite, all hail, fall on your faces and worship the mighty and delicious blah blah blah:
"My lips hurt real bad!" "Idiot!" "Gosh!" "Numchuck skills, computer hacking skills..." "Dang!" "Lucky!" "Ever take it off any sweet jumps?" "That's like a dollar an hour!"

Hoo-wee! Are your sides aching the way mine are?

Have a good day.

Today in the year 451, at the Battle of Chalons, Flavius Aetius beaat the pants off of Attila the Hun.

Happy birthday, Brian Wilson!

go hagel

USNews.com: With his polls down, Bush takes flak on Iraq from a host of critics--including a key moderate Republican (6/27/05)

Sunday

Want to know anything about fish?
Search FishBase

news

This is too easy.

Obviously, the Bush administation is for sale to the highest bidder, this time the cattle industry. - Land Study on Grazing Denounced - Yahoo! News

We may be a little closer to early predictions of Alzheimer's - Scientists Find Early Signs of Alzheimer's - Yahoo! News

And a Romanian priest who crucified a nun to death said about his "possessed" victim:
"God has performed a miracle for her, finally Irina is delivered from evil."
Romanian priest unrepentant after crucifixion of nun - Yahoo! News

cool pictures

Goodyear Blimp crash

"Today about 40 percent of all the fuel that Brazilians pump into their vehicles is ethanol, known here as alcohol, compared with about 3 percent in the United States. No other nation is using ethanol on such a vast scale. The change wasn't easy or cheap. But 30 years later, Brazil is reaping the return on its investment in energy security while the United States writes checks for $50-a-barrel foreign oil.":
Brazilians buck rising gas prices with innovative fuel

Team America Soundboard
not safe for work

learn

Crap From The Past: Home Page

art

by Rob Gonsalves

Saturday

freaky and bad

via Culture Blog,

a video of furries that takes place in a Hilton. At this point I have to make it clear that when I was commenting on these losers earlier today I chose Hilton at random and got lucky. Oh, and the video's upside down.

print at work

note to self:

I need about ten different one to two hundred point Ls and Os for the stencil project, which will be taking place in muddy's stiflin' hot garage some evenin' after school.

Try all the ones word has to offer, even though those fonts irritate me/you.

And here's a handy guide to stenciling.

hmm.

www.dontclick.it

safety first

<

awesome idea

street graffiti:
Stencil that says, without the quotation marks, "LOL", in some vivid font, and paint the letters red, white, and blue. Or any other color.

does my dick look big in these pants?

I have to wear scrubs to work. If that's how they want it, fine. Any woman will attest that a sweaty hoo-ha makes for grumpiness (thanks, mimi smartypants), and on these sweltering days the same holds true for us guys. But with different genitals. Whatever.

Since the best way pour homme to ventilate is by wearing the shorts of boxers, they in combination with the scrubs allow for a broad range of motion, and if people are looking, they're going to see what's going on down there. So fucking what? This is a hospital, for crying out loud. Get over my cock!

I refuse to make my comfort a casualty of fashion. Those perturbed by my evident manliness should thank their lucky stars the hospital doesn't turn me on. Otherwise my enthusiasm would surely kick off a whole 'nother round of uniform guidelines. Which makes me think: it does genuinely irk me that the template for "normal human being in scrubs" is allowed to have variations in the womens' tits department but not in mens' pants. Maybe I should go down a size in these pants. Just to push it.

Things that give me the creeps:
the tv show "whose line is it anyway"
there was another one but i can't think of it right now. some list that was.

busy day

Off to work in my fiancee's car, which has a leak someplace in the steering assembly. Tonight, Elko speedway at seven, leave town at six. Invite yourself. I'll check my gmail at four or so, so come one, come all. After that, a party at Rania's, so come to that, too. And after that, at midnight, the big lebowski is showing at the Uptown theater. Awesome. I'll probably pass out long before that, but a guy can dream.

print at work
Blogger Tom Watson is rightly making noise for a woman named Mukhtaran Bibi, the face of human rights in Pakistan.

Background
Sep. 2004:
The New York Times > Opinion > Op-Ed Columnist: Sentenced to Be Raped

Now:
Raped, Kidnapped and Silenced - New York Times

ridiculous

While most omega males are dressing up like stuffed animals and getting freaky with each other anonymously at the Hilton at "furry" conventions, the most pathetic of them is making anthropomorphic papier-mache unicorns, who are having sex with each other. What a waste of space. Oh, by the way. These papier-mache unicorns having sex are not safe for work. If you got in trouble for this, it would be the low point of your life.

THE UNICORN ORGY

glorious


Pets In Uniform

classic

Where is the sun out right now?
Earth Viewer

famous

R. Crumb's A Short History of America.

Seizure warning: obnoxious pink background.

A letter from someone to the music industry. One of the last non-downloaders speaks out about why he's started "stealing" music.

"The world is all connected now, we are not beholden to you for information."
TWAS 503: (Warnings and Promises)

Every once in a while I like to read something about math that I don't understand. It's reassuring that there's a whole bunch of people focused so hard on such an abstract concept.

Here is a page with a video of groups of four-dimensional fractals rendered in 3D. Watch, if for no other reason than it took the guy two years to make it.
/quicktime
Fleischfilm

American's censored Nagasaki A-bomb report unearthed after 60 years

very nice watches
The Art of Watchmaking G.Daniels

print at work

I just finished reading a book last night by the guy that wrote this editorial about star wars, Neal Stephenson. It was "zodiac", I give it a seven of ten, still a take-or-leave. Life's to short for reading sub-par stuff.

Turn On, Tune In, Veg Out - New York Times

cool

Today the lovely J graduated from the nursing program at the U of M. Her family drove in from Eau Claire, and she crossed the finish line at the Ted Mann concert hall. She has a BS in nursing now. All she has to do is pass her boards and she's set to go, to put the registered in R.N.

She isn't sure whether she's going to go back to school but thinks she might. I guess that like my father, she wants more letters for her signature. For people like me, who eschew academe, that's one of the few motives for post-secondary education.

So congratulations! If you're reading this, which you're not, because this weekend you're back in Eau Claire for a bridal shower and a bachelorette party.

We all hit broadway pizza afterwards on her dad's nickel. Their pizza is probably my favorite pizza.

Friday

psycho

people who dress up in latex masks as a fetish
Jessica Trance's Mask Site - Welcome to my Website

excuse me?

Thanks, god, for all the awesome religious beliefs!

"Boys from Africa are being murdered as human sacrif ices in London churches. They are brought into the capital to be offered up in rituals by fundamentalist Christian sects, according to a shocking report by Scotland Yard."
story: ThisisLondon
thanks for the link rania

Thursday

scrape no more

Today my benchmate at school and I discovered the source of a strange noise that her bench had been generating.

When she opened a certain drawer on her bench, it would make a deafening screech that severely perturbed anyone who was in the room. We lubricated the rails of said drawer, opened it, and to our dismay the noise continued.

Vexed, we investigated, and soon found that on one spot on the bottom of the drawer, a paint chip had been scratching the broad side of the drawer, and formed a very slight scar in the metal. A little motor oil, a nervous, tentative pull, and it was fixed. The stupid thing had been giving the class cause for alarm for weeks. Think nails on a chalkboard and multiply by about one and a third.

My benchmate and I celebrated with tea. Well, I had tea. She threw her teabag, by accident, in the trash, where we went to see if it could be saved. Sadly, it had landed in an uncertain puddle of shmutz, so it had to go live with Elvis. Moral of story, don't throw your tea's trash away until it has been prepared. Tea is a morning ritual steeped in tradition!

This week in watch school, we took our movements apart, ETA 6427s, pushed the jewels to reduce endshake, tested for backlash, cleaned and oiled the jewels. We made new gravers that will fit into a cross slide and that we can use on our lathes. Also, we got our hands on the schaublin mill, an incredible machine whose job it is to make every other machine sting with envy. Its top speed today was 5000 rpm; we cut brass plates 2.50 mm thick, and I made a blued steel punch for the locating pin holes. I'll be punching the brass plate with that thing to prep it for drilling. Pretty nice that if we need a tool now, we can just whip oneout on the lathe. Last semester wasn't a waste after all, which is good since being into the watches we see how boring it was by comparison scraping and cutting steel all day.

There's a semi-crazy guy (Alex Jones) who's been saying for years that the WTC was blown up not by them, but by us. With more on that, here's UPI.
UPI Hears... - (United Press International)

pictures of sex

Safe for work!
Magnetic resonance imaging of male and female genitals during coitus and female sexual arousal -- Schultz et al. 319 (7225): 1596 -- BMJ

cool

Small Town Newspaper
A newspaper directory featuring small town newspapers and articles.

Wednesday

just another "republicans are morons" post

via the spoonbender,
CNN.com - Schiavo autopsy finds no sign of trauma - Jun 15, 2005

Ah, the culture of life. The one time they try not to kill somebody, and it's the wrong one. They're not morally bankrupt, they're just morally illiterate; with no ability to independently evaluate what's right and wrong!

Here's how that went down: "Jeez. Brain dead? That's not in the bible! What do we do? Let's fight the liberals! Damn queers and communists and niggers! YEAH!"

Here's more of the "conservative" movement in action: let's take a look at the latest numbers from Iraq!
(Disclaimer: These numbers are subject to change at any moment!)

American Deaths
Since war began (3/19/03): 1708
Since "Mission Accomplished" (5/1/03): 1571
Since Capture of Saddam (12/13/03): 1241
Since Handover (6/29/04): 842

But we're a lot safer, right?
Maybe if you're a patriot, you'd like to read through the list of American guys who are dying because of the pinhead's hobby crusade.

fast food is bad for you

Build your own-
Homebrew Air Conditioning
I might have to try this. It looks cheap and fun.

Still, she's no Jeff Gannon

Porn Star Carey Attends GOP Fundraiser - Yahoo! News

JB Hudson, tourbillons, and rich people

I went in to J.B. Hudson over my school break to show a friend what a tourbillon is. I figured they'd have one, and they normally do, but at the time they didn't.

Definition break: The tourbillon (in English, the word means swirl) is a device invented by Abraham-Louis Breguet (sort of like the Thomas Edison and the Wilbur and Orville Wright of watchmaking) to eliminate errors of rate in the vertical positions. It consists of a mobile carriage or cage carrying all the parts of the escapement, with the balance in the center. The escape pinion turns about the fixed fourth wheel. The case usually makes one revolution per minute, thus annulling errors of rate in the vertical positions. The tourbillon is one of the sexiest things there is. There's a flash amination of one on this page.

When we went in, I asked one of the ladies working if she could show me a tourbillon. She didn't know what it was, but she knew it was part of a watch, so she wisely approached the resident watch guy. I think his name was Bruce. Whatever his name was, he shouldn't have said what he said. Which, as he looked at us, was this: "They're very expensive."

That's not a very nice first reaction. One definition of a gentleman is someone who is never rude by accident, and in general I'm satisfied with it. Bruce's failure to accede to diplomacy would burn itself into my friend's mind.

I look like a guy without a lot of money, which is the situation. My friend also looks like a guy without a lot of money, which he is. His family, however, isn't poor at all. They're extremely well off, and it turns out they do a lot of business with the J.B. Hudson company.

It may have been my friend's aristocratic instinct or his keen sense of how people are supposed to treat each other that inspired him to speak to his mother about the rudeness of this man, who may or may not be named Bruce. His mother then called her step-sister, who called the president of J. B. Hudson. I would like to have heard that phone call, and the next one, which was that that guy then called his mother at home and apologized profusely for the salesman's impertinence. She called her son, my friend, who assured me that justice had been served. This all took about ten minutes, and I think it's pretty funny.

I just wanted to see a tourbillon, and the guy should have just anwered the question and not been snooty. I hate snooty.

Cockeyed.com Presents: Dorky Auctions

cool

Google Guide Quick Reference: Google Advanced Operators (Cheat Sheet)

Ministers were told of need for Gulf war ‘excuse’ - Sunday Times - Times Online

Guardian | Microsoft helps China to censor bloggers

oh canada...

before congress:
Proposing an amendment to the Constitution of the United States to repeal the 22nd amendment to the Constitution

print at school

Google Search: pawn shop saint paul

Tuesday

i like artificial life

New World Notes: EVOLVING NEMO

must see

Fashion Highs and Lows of the Westboro Baptist Church:
Utter Wonder: The Idle Thoughts Of C. Monks | Read It However You Will

in-souls

stand on the word of god.
Inspirational Scripture Shoe Inserts

wal-mart sells porn

theboxtank: Wal-Mart Selling Porn...

When Marine recruiters go way beyond the call:
"You don't want to be a burden to your mom," they told him. "Be a man." "Make your father proud."

i knew i didn't like cats for a good reason

Dangerrrr: cats could alter your personality - Health - Times Online

if you had created a website

which one would you want it to be?

some random choices
hotmail
google
snopes
the memory hole
mcsweeney's

religion: the greatest thing ever

You know, this blog gives me an outlet I need. I just love ripping on religion. It's so easy you'd think I'd get enough and knock it off, and take up building the perfect paper airplane.

Put simply, religion is stupid and worthless because it encourages people to be satisfied not understanding the world they live in. From Galileo to Darwin and beyond, churches hate anyone that threatens their (purely rhetorical) grasp on credibility. Which, of course, is based on violent opposition to scientifically verified, empirically sound facts. Churches are therefore doomed. It's only a matter of time. Even a rat has the sense to flee a sinking ship, but people cling to their beliefs, and that's fine. But it makes me sad, and avoiding this deep sadness is what brings out all the colors of my various angers and perplexions.

My flavor of reaction to this tragic state of affairs stems from my belief that my fellow men and women are capable of so much more, and all that potential, that time and money, is wasted on nonsense. Religion might be the worst thing in the world.

I and mine might get called atheists, but it's not an epithet, it's a fact; the most pious churchgoers are atheists, too. Christians deny the legitimacy of the hindu gods, and hindus return the favor. Islamists and Jews, same story. Ridiculous, since even if the gods they believe in are the same exact magical entity, still they have to fight like a dog with a broken tail. People like me, we just take the whole thing one god further. And it's nice here. Godless. Accountable. Realistic. Also, I get to make fun of not just most, but everybody's arcane and archaic religious beliefs! No exclusions!

One of my favorites is the cult of Utah. Mormons, with their polite, outgoing young men. Their jesus is better than your jesus.

Here's another news story about how some fundie crazies ruin the lives of young people! This is nothing new, but if your religion is different from theirs it might entertain you and give you the chance to feel very superior. It's about a man who kicks young people out of town, for not following the rules. Rules like having a girlfriend.

My favorite part:
"... the kids don't want their parents prosecuted; they want us to get the No. 1 bad guy — Warren Jeffs. He is chiefly responsible for kicking out these boys."

The 49-year-old Jeffs is the prophet, or leader, of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The FLDS, as it is known, controls Hildale and Colorado City."


Did you catch that? The church controls a couple of towns. And it's little snippets like this that I see, that remind me that my purpose at this blog is a noble one. Churches do, for all intents and purposes, control towns, and that's wrong.

For as long as religion has existed, it has effectively mapped the organization of power.

Here's the story, already:
Lost to the Only Life They Knew - Yahoo! News

Monday

real


Michael Jackson fan Andre White bursts into tears as Jackson arrives at the Santa Barbara County Courthouse to listen to the verdict in his child molestation trial in Santa Maria, California June 13, 2005. REUTERS/Lucas Jackson

print at work

War: Realities and Myths - by Chris Hedges:
"This myth, the lie, about war, about ourselves, is imploding our democracy. We shun introspection and self-criticism. We ignore truth, to embrace the strange, disquieting certitude and hubris offered by the radical Christian Right. These radical Christians draw almost exclusively from the book of Revelations, the only time in the Gospels where Jesus sanctions violence, peddling a vision of Christ as the head of a great and murderous army of heavenly avengers. They rarely speak about Christ's message of love, forgiveness and compassion. They relish the cataclysmic destruction that will befall unbelievers, including those such as myself, who they dismiss as 'nominal Christians.' They divide the world between good and evil, between those anointed to act as agents of God and those who act as agents of Satan. The cult of masculinity and esthetic of violence pervades their ideology. Feminism and homosexuality are forces, believers are told, that have rendered the American male physically and spiritually impotent. Jesus, for the Christian Right, is a man of action, casting out demons, battling the Anti-Christ, attacking hypocrites and castigating the corrupt. The language is one not only of exclusion, hatred and fear, but a call for apocalyptic violence, in short the language of war."

cool

exploring enron | visual data mining

so very afraid I am

ICWAgencySite-Offender Details

useful

for finding new music
Audioscrobbler :: Home

Last night was the 4th Annual Lower Northeast Drunken Bar Bike Tour, which took place in, uh, lower northeast. You could walk to all the places on the lower tour, so for bicycling it was less than the upper tour. The crowd was out in full force, though.
There were only about a hundred and fifty at Whitey's, then add fifty at Nye's, Mac's industrial added another fifty, and Legends things were really getting out of control. The parking lot looked like an anthill. There were bicycles everywhere. My camera likes to take its time after you press the shutter button (which in technology-world really isn't a shutter button any more, hence the problem) so I didn't get the best picture of the night, a guy maneuvering his cadillac through a crowd of hundreds of people drinking tall boys of pabst blue ribbon and their bicycles.

6:00 Whitey's
6:00 Boom
7:00 Times
7:00 Nye's
7:45 Mac's Industrial
8:45 Legends
10:15 Arone's
10:15 U Otter Stop Inn
11:15 Margarita Bella
11:15 Vegas Lounge
12:15 Spring St. Grill
12:15 Moose on Monroe
1:15 Grumpy's Northeast

By ten fifteen, after an hour and a half at legends (which was bullshit, who made this schedule?) people were itching to actually go somewhere. When you've got a choice between two bars at each interval, people are going to tend to go to the one that doesn't suck, so I don't know if there was anyone out of the three hundred or so cyclin' drinkbodies who went to Arone's. The crowd at Otter's was enormous. The bar was very loud, very hot, and very full. The crowd was out on the sidewalk on both ends. It was, to my knowledge, unphotographable and impressive. I looked at that, took an honest personal inventory, and decided against stretching the night out any farther. School was at nine o'clock, and my liver isn't the man it was.

It's a pity the tour was set up the way it was; I only made it to half as many bars this year as during 3rd upper and was nearly as drunk. By ten thirty. Weak.

Great party, though.
Here's my favorite picture of the crowd, the one that will give you the best idea of what the crowd was like. Granted, I'm not a great photographer. But even if I were, pictures are hardly a substitute.

Sunday

Rascal Flatts

Sounds like a musician, right? Sounds to me like some old blues man who might hang around with Buddy Guy, someone who's paid his dues. At the very least, I expect someone called Rascal Flatts to be a hell-raising bottle-smashing rockabilly rebel. But no. Rascal Flatts is a "country" boy band, who sings sensitive songs to women who watch American Idol and buy feel-good cds at wal-mart. As they pass and see Rascal Flatts' new album on the shelf, they think, "Hmm, a little something just for me". Here's the band who deserves a name more like "Go ahead and cry, darlin'. We won't try to grope your chest while you sob. We're all gay anyway."

In case you foolishly don't believe me, here are the lyrics to the band's smash "country" single, "skin".
Hopefully soon, I'll have time to explore the strange transformation of country music from being good to being what it is. Not like you need my insight when it comes to that, but still. It's sad and ruinous.

busted

White House official resigns after climate documents flap - Yahoo! News

And it's not climate change. It's global warming.

"There may be fairies at the bottom of the garden. There is no evidence for it, but you can't prove that there aren't any, so shouldn't we be agnostic with respect to fairies?"
-- Richard Dawkins

Because this kind of thing is just tiresome and insane:
Welcome to the OFFICIAL Ted Jesus Christ GOD Site

Here's an evolution site where you can learn actual facts, free from the national academy of sciences:
National-Academies.org | Evolution Resources

cool

new oldest European civilization discovered!

holy crap

The weirdest thing of the month,
rainbow primates.
In which I learn that being a gay person who likes to dress a monkey up like a baby and loving christian chat rooms and Jesus are not mutually exclusive.

beaucoup Music Videos

Saturday

my first term grades are in

Microturning and Microfiling 1 and 2
A, A, A, B.
Yee-haw!

My winding stem grade was actually better than expected out of Switzerland, up three hundredths from the estimated grade.

Speaking of enthusiasm, the tour de northeast is tomorrow night. No shortage of things to be happy about.

The loveliness has one day left of clinical and she's all done and ready to graduate from nursing school. She'll be a graduate nurse till she passes her boards, after which she'll be a "registered" nurse. Congratulations. Today she got blood all over her. Some guy's arterial line came loose. But that's healthcare for you.

today in history

1509 - Marriage of King Henry VIII of England and Katherine of Aragon.
1770 - Captain James Cook runs aground on the Great Barrier Reef.
1899 - Pope Leo XIII dedicates the entire human race to the Sacred Heart of Jesus.
1901 - New Zealand annexes the Cook Islands.
1937 - Great Purge: The Soviet Union executes eight army leaders under Joseph Stalin.
1940 - World War II: British forces bomb Genoa and Turin, Italy.
1963 - American Civil Rights Movement: Alabama Governor George Wallace stands at the door of Foster Auditorium at the University of Alabama in an attempt to block two black students from attending that school.
1963 - Buddhist monk Thich Quang Duc burns himself with gasoline in a busy Saigon intersection to protest the lack of religious freedom in South Vietnam.
2001 - The United States carries "out the severest sentence for the gravest of crimes" as Timothy McVeigh is executed for his role in the Oklahoma City bombing.

Friday

funny

Corporate Gibberish Generator on AndrewDavidson.com

so unrepressed! i mean, dirty and bad!

ABC News: Brazilian Town Declares Orgasm Day

Woodward and Bernstein: The Next Generation: Sutton Impact

A Collection of Contemporary and Vintage Mr. T Dolls

"Out of all of the sects in the world, we notice an uncanny coincidence: the overwhelming majority just happen to choose the one that their parents belong to. Not the sect that has the best evidence in its favour, the best miracles, the best moral code, the best cathedral, the best stained glass, the best music: when it comes to choosing from the smorgasbord of available religions, their potential virtues seem to count for nothing, compared to the matter of heredity. This is an unmistakable fact; nobody could seriously deny it. Yet people with full knowledge of the arbitrary nature of this heredity, somehow manage to go on believing in their religion, often with such fanaticism that they are prepared to murder people who follow a different one."
-- Richard Dawkins

impressive

This is excellent: Wax Audio - Appropriated Audio Mass Media
wherein lies: George bush singing Imagine by John Lennon

apples and oranges

thanks, methamphetamine!

Whites back in majority in state prisons

Thursday

According to this,
Birthday Calculator,

These are George Bush's statistics:

7/6/1946

You were born on a Saturday
under the astrological sign Cancer.
Your Life path number is 6.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2432007.5.
The golden number for 1946 is 9.
The epact number for 1946 is 27.
The year 1946 was not a leap year.

As of 6/9/2005 6:57:15 PM CDT
You are 58 years old.
You are 707 months old.
You are 3,075 weeks old.
You are 21,523 days old.
You are 516,570 hours old.
You are 30,994,257 minutes old.
You are 1,859,655,435 seconds old.

There are 27 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 59 candles on it.

Those 59 candles produce 59 BTU's,
or 14,868 calories of heat (that's only 14.8680 food Calories!) .
You can boil 6.74 US ounces of water with that many candles.

Your birth tree is

Fir Tree, the Mysterious

Extraordinary taste, dignity, cultivated airs, loves anything beautiful, moody, stubborn, tends to egoism but cares for those close to it,rather modest, very ambitious, talented, industrious uncontent lover, many friends, many foes, very reliable.


There are 199 days till Christmas 2005!

The moon's phase on the day you were
born was in its first quarter.

photography

Food for thought:
It's been said that a camera is an invention that actually teaches us to see.
Naked women ensue at this site. It's french, but nude women are a kind of international language.
La Framboise
Not safe for work.

what do these people have in common?



check back later

If you click now, it will just say "sorry, rcdumper is a prototype tool not intended for widespread public use. being linked from a high traffic website has created too much load, and it is temporarily offline."
Mefi is what generated that high traffic.
watch wikipedia be edited in real time

Lileks and his two blogs to go with his two identities are getting attention from people other than me.
From way back, the perpetually brilliant James Wolcott's on my wavelength as regards James Lileks. He just hit him and others up again, here's the post, which points to this post somewhere else and this, as well. The ground is swelling around Lileks's little (work with me, please) time-space cybergravity well, and it's gratifying to think of it popping him loose into the ether, which is where his ideas belong. Unmoored. Adrift. Eaten. Excreted.

A great watch site came to my attention today. The purist.

print at work

EOF - If You Don't Believe in DRM, It Can't Hurt You | Linux Journal

Wednesday

cool

Stanley Kubrick's Chicago
Chicago through Kubrick's eyes. Through a camera, obviously.

I am against religion because it teaches us to be satisfied with not understanding the world.
-- Richard Dawkins

"Administrative Subpoenas": more of the end of freedom

American Civil Liberties Union : ACLU Disappointed with Patriot Act Expansion Bill Approved in Secret; Says "Administrative Subpoenas" Create End-Run Round Constitution

tornado video

Watch the closest ever video of a tornado.
Inside Tornadoes Multimedia @ National Geographic Magazine

O'REILLY: AWESOME AUTHOR

I think this might be Luba
Is it?
Not safe for work.
It's photographs of people having sex!

bow chica wow-wow!

fluffertraX premium adult sound

not safe for work

Check this out. It isn't getaway music, but it's pretty silly. The Dukes of Hazzard equivalent of the star wars christmas special. Listen to the samples. I really like the song "flash" by James Best.

thanks muddy for the link.

Does anyone know where I can get some of that awesome getaway music like they used to play on the Dukes of Hazzard during chase scenes?

Also, what is Roscoe P. Coltrane's middle name?

velly intellesting

Macleans.ca | Top Stories | Life | The girlfriend getters

Animal rights activists face trial under terror law

unbelievable. not.

Anyone saying our form of government is anything but an oligarchy is lying.
Guardian Unlimited | Special reports | Revealed: how oil giant influenced Bush

Tuesday

on reproduction and chance

Certainly those unborn ghosts include poets greater than Keats, scientists greater than Newton, but in the teeth of these stupefying odds, it is you and I in our ordinariness that are here.
-- Richard Dawkins, awesome guy who is smarter than me or you.

The world is far more interesting when you consider what incredible odds were against us being here. The whole god issue provides the poor and illiterate with a morality sufficient to balance a minor civilization, and that has value, but life is more cerebrally fulfilling when we apply ourselves to understanding what it is and how it got here. If you find yourself upset that the godless belief system doesn't have the meaning you need, then what you need is out of proportion to reality.

Today at watch school, we took apart the movements again, this time without being walked through it. It paid off that I have been reading my textbook. I know what things are called. This summer we're going to be making watches. The main plate is sure to be a challenge. It looks like it's going to take about three weeks.

Tomorrow, beer and pizza from four to seven at the original american sports cafe, at 280 and como. Meet! Eat! Imbibe with attractive people! Everyone is invited. Except you, Steve.

This is Jack Scott kicking at someone and missing.
Ha ha, Jack Scott.

Jim Goad makes me laugh.
Singing Asshole
not safe for work, or anyone highly opposed to watching a black man's asshole sing.

The godless america show is pretty good.
From WBEZ in Chicago | This American Life

watch school

Yesterday we disassembled our first movement, a big, heavy simple one. A Unitas, I think model 6427. Then we put it back together. It took all day. Today, I think we'll do it again, but in the morning, and spend the afternoon disassembling and cleaning.

I got the first season of the Dukes of Hazzard last night. I love that show. I accidentally typed live instead of love before I fixed it in that last sentence. I wish I lived the Dukes of Hazzard. In fact, I blame that show for getting me in trouble later in life. I thought the law was something you just fucked with and ignored. Boy was I wrong.

My brother said we should get some of the music that plays in the background while the car chases are happening, just on a loop to play in the car. I think that is the coolest idea I've heard in a grip.

Mann Coulter, etc.

The American Taliban

Bailey Smith: "With all due respect to those dear people, my friend, God Almighty does not hear the prayer of a Jew."

"Newsweek's Baghdad bureau chief, departing after two years of war and American occupation, has a few final thoughts."
Good Intentions Gone Bad

Monday

Lileks is an asshole

LILEKS on Galactic pizza, which is really good stuff.

Lileks has started another blog, this one for the single purpose of getting all that Republicanism out of his system somewhere that won't make him look like what he is, a typical seething beta male prone to spontaneous, frothing fits of thundering mania. He's got readers to satisfy who respect his nerdy zaniness, after all! All that war hawk stuff just doesn't fit in with his personality. Maybe he needs a pseudonym. May I recommend Sergeant Biff Jaw?
Here it is, chicks and dudes! Enjoy!
LILEKS (James) Matchbooks

funny

"Anti-pornography film produced by financier Charles Keating, linking pornography to the Communist conspiracy and the decline of Western civilization.":
Internet Archive: Details: Perversion for Profit (Part I)

Say what you want about the French, but don't mess with their police dogs.
video

texas prison abuse video

My, my, my.
not safe for work.

how to beat a DUI

DUI Defendants Skip Charge By Asking How Test Works: From The Tampa Tribune

oil depletion

The Oil Drum: A picture of depletion

awesome

eBay item 3978277794 (Ends 12-Jun-05 21:11:22 EDT) - F DUBYA Actual state issued License Plate

illusion

Rapid afterimage

"I think that the Bible as literature should be a compulsory part of the national curriculum – you can’t understand English literature and culture without it. But insofar as theology studies the nature of the divine, it will earn the right to be taken seriously when it provides the slightest, smallest smidgen of a reason for believing in the existence of the divine. Meanwhile, we should devote as much time to studying serious theology as we devote to studying serious fairies and serious unicorns."
-- Richard Dawkins

what we've all been wondering
/mp3, short

only in japan

Sadly, I think this may be a repost.
FOR LADIES!!! WE CAN BUY YOUR GREAT FARTS!!

the greatest refrigerator ever?

holy crap

It's Christians getting together and doing something I like!
Deliver Us from Wal-Mart? - Christianity Today Magazine

fox racing company

Hi there!
I see you like Fox racing!
There certainly are a lot of people who agree that they're the best!
So how long you been into motocross?
Who's your favorite rider?
Where's your favorite racetrack?
Hey, don't get all defensive, I'm just trying to make conversation! I mean, waiting for this elevator is really boring, especially compared to when Ben Townley fought tooth and nail for a win at British Grand Prix yesterday! Right? Remember when Townley’s awesome pole position gave the kiwi first pick of the start line for the first heat?
Man, I was on the edge of my seat when, as the gate dropped, Townley and Everts were rubbing elbows going down the start straight with the KTM breaking later! I could have sworn the hole-shot was in the bag, but unfortunately for Townley, Michael Pichon couldn't avoid him -- and a first turn pile up ensued! After that all hell really broke loose! And what a finish! I don't know what was cooler, that, or when Billy MacKenzie scored his maiden GP in front of all of the Japanese factory bosses on Sunday as the 21-year-old Scot romped away with the Sugo GP on his Steve Dixon/ Bike It Yamaha just seven days before the bosses' first venture into GP co-promotion at Matchams!
Oh, of course. Who do I think I'm talking to?
That Fox racing hat you've got on says it all. You're a man of discriminating tastes in racing teams, AND in your wardrobe.
Man, you're the shit.
High muthafuckin' five.

Fox racing. For the serious motocross enthusiast.

wow

Economist teaches monkeys what money is. Monkeys understand, begin prostitution. Turns out sex is worth a coin, which is worth a grape. High five! This better not be in Texas or that monkey's going to jail. Monkey jail.

Monkey Business - New York Times

Here's a list of signatures on this petition to ban the internet. It's pretty silly, but some people apparently think it's for real.

Newsday.com: Nixon's henchmen lecture us on ethics

Texas loses again. First the sexy cheerleading law and now,
Texas Governor Signs Abortion Bill

back to school

Sunday

This picture went with this story at Yahoo.

Bush's Optimism On Iraq Debated - Yahoo! News

On one hand, that photo was taken at a bible fellowship in Texas in 2003. But on the other, I understand that if this is what it takes to get people to read this news story, I'm for it.

Also, what a dick this guy is standing in front of the lord of lords sign.

Two good and wholesome youth ministers don't want teens to get sucked into the bad and evil "world of online porn". It's called THE world, guys. And they and you and everybody else is already in it. You lose. Shut up. But if you want to tittilate children, be my guest. Hosebags.
The guy on the right has a scary haircut.
ABC News: Porn Film Gets Churches Talking

Richest Are Leaving Even the Rich Far Behind - New York Times:
"Those earning more than $10 million a year now pay a lesser share of their income in these taxes than those making $100,000 to $200,000."

With an interactive uh, thing to see where you fit in, classwise!
Graphic: How Class Works - New York Times

Another evolution link
Pharyngula::A historian disgraces himself

If you've ever wondered how much a movie can suck but were unsure who to ask, let me direct you to the ultimate authority.
Leprechaun.

Oh Yes.

All I'm saying is there's a file here called generallee.mpg that makes me proud to have loved the dukes of hazzard.
Index of /files

Ummm...

Di Stefano Productions presents Corpses For Sale. Halloween and Horror Props for sale and rent.

Anybody know anything about this?
eXeem™

The Other Side of BitTorrent

today in history

1944 - World War II: More than 1000 British bombers drop 5000 tons of bombs on German gun batteries on the Normandy coast in preparation for D-Day.
1981 - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report that five homosexual men in Los Angeles, California have a rare form of pneumonia seen only in patients with weakened immune systems (these were the first recognized cases of AIDS).
1986 - A 52-year old man in Auburn, Washington dies after taking an Excedrin capsule laced with cyanide; this is the first of two Excedrin deaths.
2002 - Elizabeth Smart is kidnapped from her Salt Lake City, Utah home.
2002 - Mozilla 1.0, the first 'official' version, is released.

birthdays:
1723 - Adam Smith, Scottish economist (d. 1790)
1883 - John Maynard Keynes, English economist (d. 1946)
1919 - Richard Scarry, children's author (d. 1994)
1887 - Pancho Villa, Mexican revolutionary (d. 1923)
1850 - Pat Garrett, American Western lawman (d. 1908)

Pickup Lines:
The First Drafts.

BY MARK VANDERHOFF

- - - -

Are your legs tired? Oh, well, I'm not surprised; your thighs are almost comically muscular.

You must wash your pants with Windex, because something really smells like Windex.

Your father must have been a thief. I don't know, you just have the look of someone who was raised by criminals.

If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? That is to say, would you be offended by my comments, not would you physically hold your body against mine. Sorry for any confusion. Anyways, would you?

Do you have a little Italian in you? Really? Wait, what was your last name again? Oh, yeah, I guess that does sound Irish. Never mind.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I probably wouldn't. Can you imagine how much that would screw with everybody?

Are you from Tennessee? I hate people from Tennessee.

Excuse me; I seem to have misplaced my inmate number, which was assigned to me by this state's accursed penal system after it was discovered that I was indeed the "Fruit by the Foot Strangler." Can I borrow yours?

Can I borrow a quarter? I need to call my mother and tell her I've found the girl I'm going to annoy for the next 5-10 minutes.

-- McSweeney's Internet Tendency

print at work

Why smart people defend bad ideas

weird

Judge: Parents can't teach pagan beliefs

this starts today

BBC - Radio 3 - Beethoven Experience

Saturday

cool

Bad Girls Hotel
not safe for work

Rights Group Defends Chastising of U.S. - New York Times

ProfessorBainbridge.com: The 100 Greatest Americans?

Pesticides Cause Lasting Damage to Rats' Sperm

How the Right Rationalizes Racial Inequality in America Part One
part 2

chemicals

Congratulations to Noel on the cessation of the cigarette habit!
And to Carrie Jo, who quit taking zoloft about two weeks ago!
You two should hook up. Really.

I've got some kind of infection in my right arm. It was just a red spot about the size of a quarter yesterday, and when I woke up today it was 2-3 times as big and coming up some blood vessel. Wish I had my camera. I'll be going down to a clinic after work with my lovely fiancee to check it out. It started as a bite-looking thing right about in the spot where they take blood. Then I was getting coffee in the OR lounge and reading what was on the bulletin board, and it says that doctors here recently discovered a new kind of staph infection that was lethal the vast majority of the time. Symptoms? Dizziness, which I had really bad yesterday but is a part of my inner ear's being waterlogged. Rash. Which this looks like. Four out of five people were otherwise healthy young adults. So I'm obviously thinking that next my blood's going to start clotting up all over the place and I'm done. I do work in a hospital where we get MRSA patients all the time. Whatever. Gotta get back to work.
__**__update__**__
diagnosis - infection.
treatment - 2g/day cephalexin.
what this means to me - here come the shits.

via Jim Goad,
republican gash
/.pdf

boring

Back to work. If I were new in town like my brother and the weather looked as ominous as it does, and I wasn't working today, I'd go to Ax-man surplus today in Saint Paul. It's in Frogtown, where they usually pick up all these people. Interesting place. Not to worry about personal safety, though. All is well in that department.

I dreamt I had a black child. Then I found I was cutting off the circulation to my ring finger and when I adjusted it, the baby pinked right up. Weird.

This little sabbatical from watchmaking school has been nice but I'm ready to get back in there. We're making watches this summer and I'm excited about that. I've spent a little time down at JB Hudson jewelers on this break looking at watches, and they were gorgeous. One I saw was a Swiss double-barrel perpetual calendar. It cost forty grand, and was very sexy. I could almost feel it on my wrist. When I left, a little piece of me stayed with it like a ghost. Is this how people get cancer?

My fiancee, brother and self are watching (walking four times a day) a dog named blue for a neighbor. Blue never makes a peep, and is a good dog.

Friday

i don't think he's going to make it

Jack Abramoff - The friend Tom DeLay can't shake. By James Harding

You know you're a drunk when...
Modern Drunkard Magazine Online


BBC - Radio 3 - Beethoven Experience

cool

Historical Atlas of the 20th Century

The New Yorker: Online Caption Contest

Creationism: God's gift to the ignorant

Creationists adore “gaps” in the fossil record.

Many evolutionary transitions are elegantly documented by more or less continuous series of changing intermediate fossils. Some are not, and these are the famous “gaps”. Michael Shermer has wittily pointed out that if a new fossil discovery neatly bisects a “gap”, the creationist will declare that there are now two gaps! Note yet again the use of a default. If there are no fossils to document a postulated evolutionary transition, the assumption is that there was no evolutionary transition: God must have intervened.

The creationists’ fondness for “gaps” in the fossil record is a metaphor for their love of gaps in knowledge generally. Gaps, by default, are filled by God. You don’t know how the nerve impulse works? Good!

oh boy

American Civil Liberties Union : Federal Court Orders Government to Turn Over Videos and Photos Showing Detainee Abuse

Is all hell about to break loose?

According to the phone, I've been on hold for 11 minutes with pyxis worldwide. I'm waiting to register a problem that one of their field service technicians will come out and fix. I debated using the time that they're making me wait to write down how to steal drugs from a pyxis machine, but I might get in trouble somehow.

A family and their interpreter were wandering through and the interpreter just asked me if they could see a catheter to help her explain what's being done to their family member. A lot of times the language simply doesn't exist to explain that, so they have to show people. I once heard some crazy statistic about how it takes thirty Hmong words to describe something medical which we have one word for. An aortic aneurism would have been something like: the river of blood that runs biggest from the heart broke loose from its own skin and twisted, which caused many little rivers of blood to dry up and the things that they irrigate became dead, so some of your papa's left side is in the house of death, et cetera. An aortic aneurism being a comparitively simple medical problem, so I'm sure it was something much more impressive than that. Story of my life. Telling the almost-really good story.

This damned meclizine has me stoned out of my gourd. My doctor is on vacation, so his nurse is going to advise me on the next step in this dizziness business. I'm going to have to have my eardrump zapped with something sharp, I think. Which I'm not looking forward to, but it will beat holding on to objects to maintain my balance. That happened this morning.

Good luck to my dad, who is having a minor medical procedure done today.

And not least, thanks to everyone who made my bachlor party memorable. You're all wonderful people.

Thursday

nice try

funny

IN THE FUTURE, EVERYONE WILL BE HITLER FOR 15 MINUTES

In which it is shown that the epithet Hitler is being overused, and by whom. My first exposure to this was when Rush Limbaugh started calling people feminazis. Which makes no sense.

Dutch Voters Solidly Reject New European Constitution - New York Times

So You're Being Tortured To Death In An American Military Prison!

Q: Help! I'm being tortured to death in an American military prison! What should I do?
A: First of all, you should get your facts straight. You're not being tortured to death in an American military prison; you're being interrogated to death in an American detainment facility. America does not tolerate torture.

Q: Is there any sort of legal representative or due process I could get before being beaten to death?
A: No. Lawyers, open legal procedures, and basic civil liberties are all tools the enemy can use to escape justice - the justice of being beaten to death in a prison camp.

Q: It's just that my name is Musab Mohammed Khan, the pastry chef, and I believe you have me confused with Musab Muhammed Khan, the al Qaeda associate also known as "The Fist of Jihad."
A: First, there are many terrorist pastry chefs, just as there are many terrorist pastries. Second, competent intelligence and accurate prison records are both tools the enemy can use to escape justice.

Q: I seem to be losing all feeling in my lower body. Is there a doctor in the gulag?
A: Please: we find the term "gulag" absurd and offensive. A "gulag" is Russian. You are not being interrogated to death by Russians. You are being interrogated to death by the greatest country in the world.

Q: Is there a more accurate term you'd pre- aaaa! AAAAAAAA!
A: We prefer "outpost of liberty" or "island of freedom." Stringing together Guantanamo Bay, Abu Ghraib, and Bagram Airbase creates the Freedom Archipelago.
Q: So! Much! FreeedaaaAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGH!!!

Q: When I die in a few minutes, will my death help the cause of freedom?
A: Not really. But in a way, isn't death itself just freedom from life - the greatest prison of all?

Q: Wow... you've *HRAAACK* totally blown my mind - and my lung and ribcage and my kneecaps!
A: Oh, don't thank us - it's all part of being tortured to death in an American military prison!

-- Fafblog! the whole worlds only source for Fafblog.

Christian Kids Want to Know!

Why Did Jesus Have Long Hair Like a Homo?

star trek is a disease

Trust can be bottled: study

If Jeffrey Dahmer were a right wing pundit
This Modern World by Tom Tomorrow

village voice > news > Sutton Impact by Ward Sutton

George Lucas in Love
/video

maybe being a traitor isn't so bad after all

Chicago Tribune | President called Felt a `traitor' in '73

WAL-MART: The High Cost of Low Price

You May be Brainwashed by Corporate Media if You:

time to leave?

patriot pastors!

Go ahead. Read it.

soda bottle jetpack video

thanks for protecting me, dickheads

http://elitetorrents.org

Wednesday

Congratulations, Tennessee! 209 years ago today, you became a state!

Also, Kentucky, same thing, four years earlier!

hilarious

"Starting in late December I began to get phone calls from what I thought was a phone company (United American Technologies) trying to get me to switch from my phone company to a Christian one that didn’t support gay marriage and pornography. It was so weird and creepy that I decided to record them."
-- Eugene Mirman

AP: Gitmo Detainees Say Muslims Were Sold - Yahoo! News

When did "Gitmo" become familiar?

because it's been a while

the enemy

AFA - American Family Association - Promoting Traditional Family Values

You may remember people like this from your history books. They were behind the eighteenth amendment.

Something we can all agree on!
HUMAN EVENTS ONLINE :: Ten Most Harmful Books of the 19th and 20th Centuries

fat people gotta crap too

Great John Toilet


We like when our fat asses don't flop over the sides of the "skinny-people" toilet!

the president is a fool

"It seemed like to me they based some of their decisions on the word of -- and the allegations -- by people who were held in detention, people who hate America, people that had been trained in some instances to disassemble -- that means not tell the truth."

The cretin, yesterday, on Amnesty International's criticism of the way America treats its detainees.

They doesn't take their clothes off! Happily married men who want to stay happily married, you can look at this without getting in trouble. Maybe. Look at it this way, it's nothing you won't see in the wal-mart parking lot when the cheerleaders need to raise money.

car wash
links in sidebar not safe for work

pretty

Art of Science Competition / Gallery

game

ClickRed

The "I" word

"THE IMPEACHMENT of President Bush and Vice President Cheney, under Article II, Section 4 of the Constitution, should be part of mainstream political discourse."
The 'I' word - The Boston Globe - Boston.com - Op-ed - News

Wired News: AI Seduces Stanford Students

People are idiots.